You know what time it is!

You know what time it is!

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The ability to hover when in the presence of hydrogen sulfide

The ability to turn invisible when nothing is watching

the ability to fly 1 inch over the ground for 3 seconds every 87 years.

A girlfriend

Ability to season any food to perfection

The power to be invisible to the opposite sex in the mating pool
Oh, wait...

yup, you're a fag

the power to have an erection

the power to read your own mind

The ability to see through bread

thnx keked like a bitch

Winner

the ability to get gud at any game in less than a second.

The ability to always clog friends toilets

the power to lose your erection when you're about to have sex

the ability to see through glass

Considering that many opaque glasses exists, this can be pretty useful.

I want the power to make anyone fall over

The power to make cheese turn into cum.

The ability to distinguish between grey and gray colors.

the power to sexually attract any nonwhite woman

See through wooden doors.

...

The ability to shit in perfect geometric shapes.

The ability to become a cute girl, but only if others will it.

the ability to be blind but only when I close eyes

the power to get dubs whenever I choose

The ability to charge your phone fully if it is a 100%

The ability to take a shit, if you are holding one.

The ability to turn off your computer, when it's already turned off.

The ability to remove normies from /b, when /b is already long gone.

The ability to turn invisible when no ones looking

The ability to point at a box of kush and have a joint appear directly into my mouth like a bucket of cocks swimming with the fishies uphill, swallowing dunkin' fishdicks with vanilla milkshake.

The ability to summon bottled beverages, but only Diet Mountain Dew.

Turn myself hungry

the ability to turn into a fish when im out of water lel

little flame on my finger so i can light stuff without using a lighter and get 20 seconds of admiration at partys

That one really got away from you at the end.

this is not useless.
Turn invisible when nobody is watching but than you stay invisible because nobody can see you at all.

Fly faster than speed of sound, but only upside down and backwards

I wish anytime I dropped something it'd explode gently like from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

The power to hold in a fart for an extra second depending on how many farts you've unleashed in public.

...

youtube.com/watch?v=hOaCCgW_0wY this

the ability to turn stones into midget niggers with a down syndrome.

Power to absorb poops thru anus and regurgitate into Jew crackers

That's my power: YOU know what time it is all the time.

that's fucking useful. you could work in a top restaurant and earn tons of money.

Made me kek

to leap small buildings in a single bound

Fantastic

You're quite dim aren't you.

Can see through clothes but only in complete darkness

To leap small children in a single bound

the power to set off any metal/theft detector. even when naked or not stealing

Fuck minors without ever being caught

How is that useless?

I have the power to talk to furniture. Too bad it can't talk back.

The power to predict the outcome of a book you already know the plot of

The power to bluescreen my pc

Enjoy getting dissected m90

contributing to society

The ability to Do a super jump with my feet but only while doing a handstand

The power to self-dissect

immune to every third bullet

the power to deflect the 13th bullet shot into me

The ability to inhale oxygen and convert it to carbon dioxide

Premonition of your death after suffering a fatal injury

no one could ever see me blink unless I wanted to

Well, hes kinda got a point.
It's like stealth in video games, as long as your not seen before you cloak, youre good to go.

the ability to travel back to 80s tokyo once , in a lively night where the whole city is glowing, talking a walk trough all the streets, afterwards go up in a penthouse with a panorama window , through which i can view the city for hours while the wind blows around me, until i finally jump off the building before the night ends

comunicate with fruit

30 cm hovering for sick spins

actually, this could teach us A LOT. To the point of creating AI, and basically rendering further psychology research useless

To suck dick anytime yes I am a guy

The ability to plant thoughts in people's minds that are completely ignored.

The power to change sex

The ability to jumt up to 4 miles high but have weaker bones

the ability to make powdered water

The hability to stop any bullet but only 24 hours after it was shoot

Perfect

No risk, no fun (?)

a person does not need to see you in order to watch the place you're in...

so you get both darksight and see through? but thats cool

this is kekable

The power to turn wood into slightly harder wood.

the ability to close any thread, but only if you genuinely wanted to contribute

Let's see. Useless but still a superpower that I would want.

Distance viewing, limited range. Can only see things over a million miles from your location. Normal sight works fine.

wood guy here, youd be a trillionair

Ability to bleed out faster when I'm just about to die

>wood guy here
I always knew you existed..

No matter what, it always takes at least 5 seconds for me to remember my name.

i have this power

Immunity to poison ivy.

be able to cum on apples

Lmfaooo. Just be white dude ;)

so now you're unable?

*posts sad pepe*

the power to create light, earth, life and to tell said life it's wrong to masturbate