You know what to do you glorious Sup Forumsastards

you know what to do you glorious Sup Forumsastards

overdose on milk
swab diarrhea everywhere

Sugar bowl

Between two bowls in the cabinet. In the tank of a toilet, aka "upper decker".

The ol' Hide-a-Duke, great party trick.

In the toilet cistern, so when they poo and flush it's replaced by another poo
Then you dig up the water mains, adding a poo every cistern's-worth of pipe volume so that every time they flush there will be exactly one poo

If I'm in the house, how can nobody be home?

>open fridge
>open tub of butter
>scoop all of it out, trying to keep shape
>shit in bottom of tub
>put butter back in
>lid on, tub back in fridge

this

>Shit on plate
>put in microwave
>set to cook for 30 mins
>laugh as homeowners open microwave next time theyre hungry and unleash that foulness in their home.
>laugh as microwave is forever tainted

in the toilet

>have diarrhea
>grab the Nutella
>scoop it out
>shit my silk smooth shit in the empty jar
>laugh.jpg
>stalk my neighbors until I hear screaming/vomiting/anything to the Nutella

4U

toilet tank. they'll be wondering for days why their bathroom always smells like shit.

Behind the stove

>steal all valuables
>don't shit because I'd leave behind my precious DNA
>leave

Check these dubs too.

ID PROBABLY JUST SHIT IN MY MOUTH
IM A GENTLEMAN LIKE THAT

Underneath a sofa cushion or bed.

On the top side of one blade of their ceiling fan.

...

Under the couch cushion. They'll wonder why their den smells like shit and they'll never find it

In the water supply,in his wife's mouth,on his dog and underneath his mattress or pillow

Thats pretty good!

Ice cream container

they will never know!

In one of the air conditioning vents

kek

obviously in their shoe
they wont even check their shoe

In their bed.

I don't think I could ever be the same if someone shit in my bed.

Inside this

you know that random drawer everyone has in their house? full of like pens, batteries, post its, expired medicine, etc. shit in the very back of the drawer and just close it.

In the toilet

In the center of the dining room table.

Take a shit right on the laptop keyboard then close it, wipe away the excess poo. Maybe take the excess runoff and put it on the receiver of the phone because they will be calling the cops after they open their laptop and my shit is smashed into every key

Don't ask stupid questions. You just are. Roll with it

In the bathroom sink. It's great cause the toilet is RIGHT THERE.

In the medicine cabinet

Easy, squirt shit all over the backs of curtains, no one would check there, and people hardly wash them

post it you fags

Wipe huge meaty chunks of poop on the inside of the screen door because most people hold the screen door open with their back while they unlock the front door because it's spring loaded.

It'll take them awhile to figure out where that shit smell is coming from since it will be all over their own back.

because its not your home dip shit. Its the neighbors home. and they're not there.. therefore no one is HOME

Shut in their litter box so they think something is wrong with their cat

On top of a ceiling tile

>Shut in their litter box so they think something is wrong with their cat
lol

behind the fridge

I'll smush my shit inside the curtain rails. Nobody would think to heck there, but the smell would be ungodly.

Shit on the blade of their ceiling fan so when they turn it on there is a projectile shit in their house

i would poo right next to a window on the floor and take half of that poo and put it on the back of the curtains. that way when they clean up my distraction poo they will wonder why it still smells for days

>Pick flower pot
>Remove dirt
>Remove plant
>Insert shit
>Insert plant

would totally shit in their air vent or swamp cooler (if they have one)

What's behind the curtains?
Windows, right?
Anyone with a good eye will spot shit on somebody's window.

>Oh, user-husbando. You fertilized the plants? That's great.

Only ONE answer

back part of the toilet.

forever brown water

Shit in the oven then cook it with the oven door open so the smell can spread throughout the entire house.

>Find marmite jar
>Empty contents
>Replace with shit
>Mix in with spoon and wash (As to not arouse suspicion)
>Put jar back in original place
>Wait for the screams

if they have speakers id shit in the port. then every time they play music it smells like shit

In the rocky road ice cream they keep in their freezer

I'd shit on a plate and put it on a top shelf somewhere. And upper deck them

>implying people use marmite
What's the difference between marmite and human shit anyway?

how about portioning it into every opaque medicine bottle. they only think its in one of them. but then they find it again later, and think the perp has stricken again, but you only did it once.

>In the air conditioning unit

Every summer their house will smell of my glorious, slowly decaying shit

>screw open a small section of the refrigerator
>insert poop
>close

I say either poo in a sock, or if you have excellent sphincter control, multiple socks.
Or the old deep toe poop shoe.
Nothing is funnier than watching a person stick their foot in the old poop shoe.

In the oven and call my shit a jew

1: Thaw chocolate ice cream in microwave.
2: Shit in liquid ice cream and stir it in.
3: Replace ice cream carton in freezer.

The color of the ice cream will camoflague the shit and freezing the shit will mask the smell.....but not the taste.

>Behind electrical outlet faceplates and light switch faceplates
>In battery compartment of remotes
>In smoke/carbon monoxide detectors
>In pockets of dress clothes in closet
>Underneath silverware drawer
>In lint trap of dryer

>Wait for neighbors to get home
>been hiding in their house
>undetected
> wait for they to go to sleep
> poop in neighbors anus
> watch neighbor has he shits my shit.

>Open pillowcase
>Unload chocolate rain
>Pat down relatively flat and place in prime position
>Wait for some sleepy bastard to lay his weary noggin' down on a smushy fudge pillow

>open computer case
>have a shit
>close computer case

Toilet.

This is actually pretty clever. The common goal here seems to be having the victim be in as much contact with the shit as possible for as long as possible, but having them accidentally eat it is a whole different story. If you mushed up your shit well enough and mixed it in with ice cream, as user described, and they took even one bite it would be considered a major success.
As for myself, I would make a very long comprehensive list of things to smear shit on. Off the top of my head: doorknobs, buttons, keyboard. mouse, everyday objects like then. Then i'd try to predict what they'll do and have a deuce waiting there for them. They've obviously realized that there is shit all over their house, so maybe they reach for some gloves, but my ass will have been there first. maybe they try to turn on the sink to wash their hands, maybe they get towels to wipe shit off their hands, maybe they check to see if their valuables are missing. Nope. Just shitty diamonds and shit.

A solid Shit only goes so far,this sort of act requires the work of a master not a prankster.
First off,my diet would be completely liquid for the month beforehand-things that would hurt me physically,make me sick. Catfood/dog food puree,my aim is to contract c diff or some other intestinal bacteria. I am here to change lives,therefore I must change my own.
I have a strong rectum son I would hold in the diarrhoea as I walk through the house,gently stabbing my ass with a paintbrush and leaving a very slight swab of feces in the most inconspicuous places,beneath the dresser drawers,the inside rim of lamps,inside the battery compartments of remote controls.the underside of CD drives,a little bit in the cover of every windowsill,I will leave my stink in places that most overlook,Behind the handle of the fridge,the hinges of every door.the plastic backs of toothbrushes,under the lids of jars and only when my withered ,diseased little ads home has squeezed lts last fecal drop will i leave
The house will be covered in a nearly unseen smelly spectre of my ass
I will.leave my shit not as a monster,but as a ghost.

>Open washing machine
>Smear shit all over the inside
>Gather as much clothing that can possibly fit in the washing machine and put it in
>Select the setting that uses the least amount of water possible and turn the washing machine on

0.0
/thread

Bed.

on the toilet seat