Lets get a feels thread going. Preferably about relationships. Need my Sup Forumsros on this one

Lets get a feels thread going. Preferably about relationships. Need my Sup Forumsros on this one

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/wRP6egIEABk
youtu.be/IA_ubhYgjAc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

gay af

but meh, bump

whats up bro, what happened?

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Posted on /adv/ but haven't gotten a reply yet. Not about relationships either but here goes:

I want to cry but I can't

What do? I've felt pretty numb of emotion for awhile now. I have very fleeting moments of happiness, usually the result of the stars aligning and things going my way coupled by short bouts of frustration or agitation. In between those bouts (where I'm at the majority of my time) I feel nothing. Just emptiness sort of. What is this? How do I get over this?

can always count on you guys
the woman I gave four years of my life to left me. I didnt treat her the best but I gave up a lot for us to be together. And I have my own demons, who doesn't. But apparently it wasn't enough for her. THe fucked up part is, I immediately hit the rebound, and some time has past. But she haunts my dreams, and now its creeping into every waking moment. Not that she is the greatest woman in the world but that she was the greatest woman for me. That in the time she did love me, she loved me more than anyone else can or could of.

this is depression. How it truly is. I started taking bupropion and it changed me for the better. But now, its almost like my emotions have been cheapened. The highs don't feel as incredible and sadness is non existent to me. I am sad. I know that. But I cant cry. I cant express this sadness. Its a sadness beyond the chemical imbalance that was the depression. Its genuine. Yet its not really there. Its like an emotional purgatory

ive been here, its called apathy unfortunately, you dont get over it, if you dont make more out of your life and leave this place behind you, it wont get better, it will consume you until you just dont care anymore, eventually crippling depression will hit in waves until sadness is the normal state of being.
eventually you will learn to lie emotions, fool everyone with your hard earned mask of false happiness, there you will remain
you are here forever

im sorry for the fact that this is where you seek a friend, ive been in this place, it is dark, but you must forge ahead. you still feel pain, meaning there is hope yet.

Sup Forums is my only friend.

Was in the middle of posting about this in the last before it 404'd.

Basically, I asked her out 4days ago, via text (No other way. I last saw her in person earlier this month.) So far no replies.


>Meet M. at end of January
>She sits infront in Pub Speaking
>She's cute enough,
>Start to like her
>Ask her out in Early April
>Say's yes, Friend R seems to force his way to tag along
>I ask her out to get coffee a week later
>"I'm Busy" with now counter offer.
>I stop for a month, other than occasionally speaking in class, and an odd text here or there.
>Most day's we don't acknowledge each other, sometimes talking around each other
>Mid-May rolls around. Invite her to hang out with friends in the City
>Busy (Her Bro's Graduation from College)
>We agree to hang out soon. No dates set, as we both have finals
>Text her randomly a week later asking about the graduation. We end up talking for 5 hours, with another short thing the following morning
>Invite her to a thing in the City that Saturday.
>This time she's doing stuff with friends. No date offered again.
>Go all in, and aske her out on a date.
>No reply.


I suspect her friend R may have influenced her to a degree. Maybe he sees me a competition for her? She does speak differently to me when he's not near, seems more natuaral.

I suspect that R tried to get with her, but she friendzoned him.

On the last day I saw both of them, he randomly says bye to me, and only me. Only spoke to him 2-3 times prior.

Did not say bye to M, as I assumed she would be in our other class Friday, but had family stuff.
I'm am convinced that she is not interested, though things slip through that are semi common when a girl is interested in a guy. (More letters added to words, increased Emoji use and stuff in person)

I just want to experience the past and the need is killing me.

i guess im sorry for being such a shitty friend.

its not that Sup Forums is a friend. Quite the opposite, Sup Forums is so unattached to me that I can be vulnerable here. I cant put my friends in that position, they need me to help bear burdens and unfortunately I have cultivated that aspect of our friendships. I cant be the one who loses it. But on Sup Forums, you guys dont expect anything of me (aside faggotry). On Sup Forums I can expect a sympathetic ear because someone out here knows exactly what I am going through without having any reservations about who I am. All that matters is a shared experience.

>know girl since age 10
>Love her since first meet
>Drift apart with girlfriend's and college years
>Join navy and deploy for 9 months
>Come back and rekindle love for her
>Tells me she has a crush on me. I same.
>Continue talking for 6 months
>One day tells me she doesn't want relationship via phone and Skype
>She wants to date other guys
>I tell her it's her or nothing and I mean it.
>Still talk almost every day
Feels bad man.jpg

your strength is admirable

Just today I walking talking to a girl that I really like about The Office and she told me that I was just like Dwight. Pretty much know that I have no chance with her now and I thought that she actually liked me. Feelsbadman

She'll eventually come back to you.

There is no other option in my mind. Perhaps I'm blinded by love but I've always gone back to her, i feel like I've been with her in past lifetimes and I'm impatient to keep it going

Funny. I never really believed in depression. Mostly because of the abundance of self diagnosis and the stigma attached to depression. I believe in the chemical imbalances that affect the brain. I don't quite know if it's depression or not. I just feel blah.

>its called apathy unfortunately
Yes, I feel extremely apathetic. Towards pretty much everything. I tell myself tomorrow I'm going to be productive. I'm going to study, meditate, read, excercise, hit my calorie goal, x, y, etc. Then I just can't do it. I cannot make myself do it for the life of me.

It's not like I have some other alternative that's more entertaining. When I put off productivity, I'm not playing vidya or watching movies or doing something else. I'm just sitting around. Bored and guilty that I'm not doing anything.


Did you ever get out of this state? If so, how?

Perhaps she meant personality and jokes? Every girl likes jokes no matter how corny. Keep trying but don't be creepy

Got friends?

I never tell anyone in my every day life I have been diagnosed because of the stigma behind it. But as my apathy turned into manic waves of happiness and sadness I asked my GP what was wrong with me. I spoke with two psychologist and 3 psychiatrist and underwent a neuropsych test to check my brain chemicals. Was under producing serotonin and oxytocin since I was 14. At 22 these levels were dangerously so, not to mention I partied a lot to sort of alleviate the mind numbing emptiness. I definitely have depression but its not at all what the media or tumblrinas portray it as. Its not sadness, its nothingness.

Been there. Engulf yourself in your work. Pursue new hobbies or become a workaholic if possible. Go out when people ask no matter how anxious. Get new clothes and throw out all memories of bad times. Drink regularly but not excessively

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no, you cant, its like an emotional callous and it will take more than hugs to scrape off.
its like building a resistance to enjoying things.
i realised i was this way when a car crashed outside my house, dead man mangled and bleeding in the street...my exact words were "yea...you're gonna die." i was the first on the scene, i watched him bleed to death as his broken mother came sobbing up the street, crying so hard she couldn't walk in a straight line, his name was Patrick, when she screamed his name like a primal beast, i cracked a smile...i pictured spongebob.

Guess I'll share a tale, wont go into too much detail or I'd go on for ever

>Be around 13 or so
>At a friends place playing vidya friends uncle and 2 of his friends are there
>Uncle and friends drunk as hell, uncle leaves for a bit
>Uncle's 2 buddies horsing around with us while we take a break from vidya 'cause we're fans of the WWF
>Shit get's less than PG 13 as UncleFriend 1 grabs friend's crotch
>Similar happens to me, I struggle but friend doesn't seem to care
>Says it happens all the time and to just let it happen
>Fuckingwhat.jpg
>Struggle more, flailing sudden collision to my head
>Wake up after I don't know how long, not sure where specifically
>Follow bus stops to me and my moms apartment, massive head pain and rectum pain
>Takes probably 4 hours, end up collapsing a few blocks from apartment
>Wake up again, in the hospital still no real idea what happened
>Deny anything that happened, don't want friend to get in trouble, I'm a dumb kid.
>Can't trust anyone and basically become a shut in till about 17 years old.
>Eventually meet a girl, we're into all the same things, caring, shit like that
>We start to date after a few months and about a year in I tell her about what had happened to me which is why I haven't had friends or dated since
>Very accepting surprisingly enough, seems to go "I want to protect you from the world" mode
>Cry buckets since I couldn't tell this to anyone for so long from fear of rejection.
>Few months after 20th birthday we move in together, all is grand happy as pigs in shit
>Her personality changed a lot though over the course of something close to a year
>About to turn 21, anniversary a couple weeks later have big plans to have a week of just fun activities we've wanted to do.
>Talking to her about some ideas when she suddenly says "I'm moving out, user"
>I didn't hear that right, did I?
>"Wait, what? Why?"
>"I'm moving to (place) with family, so we're gonna be breaking up"
>Absolutely crushed, now 24, haven't dated since

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reminds me of my cat.
>notice stray cats sleeping under my car in my apartment parking lot
>start leaving food for them. they won't get within like 50ft of me but I can see them watching me as I leave food out. they are clearly very emaciated.
>... 8 months go by
>adorable tuxedo stray starts following my mom and girlfriend around and becoming more friendly to people.
>bbq salmon, cat comes up real close and lets me pet her
>follows me home
>cries outside my window all night while it's storming outside
>no sleep, them feels
>build cat sanctuary out of old tarps, blankets, a crate, and pillows on my balcony at 3am
>this is your new home now
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>take kitty to vet to make sure she isn't sick before letting her inside with my other pets
>she's microchipped
>call phone number

At this point I find out the number attached to the microchip was not the owner of the cat, but rather a hiker who stumbled across a pair of kittens with their dead mother on a mountain on the 4th of july. real sad, but how often do you get a stray cat origins story?
>she has the brother
>gave the kitty i found to a chinese family
>moving back to china, cat gets out during the move, they delay their move for 2 months to look for her but never find her
>... 4 and a half years later this greentext begins

felt real good to call them and let them know the kitty they lost all those years ago is still alive and living happily in a new home. she's fat now too.

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> you are an indevidual
just exactly like everyone else
if everyone is a special snowflake...no-one is a special snowflake

I found out that I was apathetic when my Grandma died. I just couldn't get myself to care. Happened when I was 11.

Every time I see this I panic because I can not think of a name so my brain makes one up.

This time it was Calamander.

> Broke up with my Ex who I still love even though she betrayed me
> Lost in life
> Decide to sign up for online dating
> Too beta to message most of the girls
> Finally get the balls up to message one
> Hides her profile
> Don't get discouraged
> Send out 4 more emails, each one I spent time writing it out making sure to cater to the girls intrests and such
> One girl Hides her profile without reading it
> No one else read theirs either

I should just give up now fam

This one. Thank you Sup Forums. This is what I needed.

Never been in one I'd like to but I'm super lazy they sound like a hassle.

id say im sorry, but you know im full of shit.
ever get that moment when you remember caring about things, then start to get bummed, but then apathy takes that from you too?

Posted about her already in the thread at

youtu.be/wRP6egIEABk

Guys. I think I might be fucked. I passed out at work yesterday, and the doctors haven't been able to find a reason.

I came home and slept for 18 hours, and I haven't been able to eat anything without puking. I think my depression has finally manifested into something that will kill me.

The worst part is I can't wait to be dead. I'm literally the most selfish motherfucker in the universe, but I can't take anymore.

see you on the other side. cuntspeed

user, if it's someone you love, and they are at least good enough at faking the fact they love you too, there is no better feeling in the world. To have someone who even seeing their face makes you smile, and you do the same for them, someone to laugh with, to cry with, someone to just enjoy the small things there. My ex and I used to have a habit when I would work late at night, she would drive up and meet me in the parking lot after work, and we would just sit and smoke and bullshit with youtube videos playing on a phone propped up on the dashboard. It was the simplest thing, but some nights, just being there with her, it was the happiest I've ever been, it's what kept me going when things got rough, and I wouldn't trade that for anything

More like:
>You have worth because no one else thinks or acts like you
>Even if you're not good at something, don't let that stop you from trying
>You can always do something to contribute

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wouldn't it be amazing if this were true?
plenty of people share my shitty opinion
some people should not contribute, shitty contributions lower the average.

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I'm currently having a mental breakdown I think, everything feels like there's a blind pulled over it, it's all fuzzy and can feel something weird, like the fuzziness is helping me see.
all images with boats
doot doot

I got an internet friend. Although they piss me off to no end and I limit how much time I spend talking to them.

I have/had a real life friend. I don't really talk to him much anymore. I was supposed to hang out with him today but I didn't return his text message and stayed home.

I've been thinking about taking up learning a language or instrument, but due to aforementioned apathy it's hard to motivate myself to do that.

Hmm. Interested you feels your emptniness was brought on through a traumatic event.

I've had trauamtic stuff happen in my life, but it didn't really break me or anything. It was more of the constant exposure to failure and bad luck widdled me down enough to the point where I don't care.

I've always been easy going when it comes to unfortunate events. I'm not one to lose my temper. I'm very ant-confrontational. I always say "oh well" or think it's a waste of time to get upset over something and time is better spent trying to mend whatever problem has occurred.

>dangling feet in spinny chair
>scrolling down, same mono-emotioned me
> see this post
> try to remember
> where was i happy?
> was i ever?
im going to bed user.

Guess I'll post

> met girl last summer
> she's fucking awesome
> we like the same bands
> share ton of common interest
> basically female me
> but she's not from here
> she's leaving at the end of summer
> tell her how I feel shortly before summer ends
> she likes me back
> omfg.jpg
> go out for a bit but she moves back
> text her everyday
> then every 3 days
> got to a point where she would only text me once every 2 weeks
> she was always busy with school and work
> my anxiety ends up pushing her away
> I end it because I can't stand the thought that another guy might be with her and that's why she's not texting
> she's sad
> I'm sad
> she was saving up to come over and visit again and I fucking ruined it
> gonna pull the trigger soon

>wouldn't it be amazing if this were true?
It's a kids show. Children need to be told it's okay to try, so that they grow into more active adults.

>plenty of people share my shitty opinion
That' doesn't make it right.

>some people should not contribute, shitty contributions lower the average.
Like your contribution to this thread.

I'm thinking about Synecdoche, New York and how intricate this life is and how lonely I am. It's almost too much to take. Or how I'll never get to experience everything or accomplish something unique.

youtu.be/IA_ubhYgjAc

See you on the other side, mother fucker.

it was not a single traumatic event so much as it was growing up thinking that all the abuse i went through was normal, saw a murder at a young age, got raped, girlfriend i was madly in love with when i could still feel love, she more or less went and got fucked by an entire football team, then told me i was shit, shoved a mugger off a bridge, all before i was 16. the mugger thing was when i realised i dont identify with humans anymore, the lives of humans are not really inportant. there are several murderers in our family, im showing signs of the same path.

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fortunately, my contributions are pissing into an ocean of piss, we all have shit opinions, there is no scoring system here, no average to lower, no longer any fucks to give. if you think people are good inside, then i wish you the best.

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Bump

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And that my friends is why you never leave safety equipment on the yaw deck. 5 extra minutes would be two lives saved.

LMAO

Tears are swelling

Rip jomeo Jojo jogoo