How to win in a bar fight almost every time using your brain
You should only use this is your opposition is the aggressor (or at least appears to be)
1. Keep a sound recorder in your pocket (a phone will do however make sure it is ready)
2. If you can beat the guy in a fair fight, then do it
3. If you cant (or don't think you can) then disregard step 2
4. When confronted by the aggressor clearly say that you feel threatened by him (repeat for the sound recording in your pocket). Your facial expression should be one of mockery while your voice is serious
5. Say "wanna go! You are intimidating me" to him and anything else that can be taken out of context such as "stay out of my personal space" while drawing a mock line across the floor. "Don't cross this line it is my personal space"
6. If he steps across the line and gets in your face this is what you do. don't try to head butt the guy, he may still fuck you up. Bite his nose as hard as you can. Try to bit it off if you can. If you do, bite him again and make sure you grab a hold of him so he can't get away.
7. When the fight is broken up and the cops get involved show then the audio recording. Tell them you were scared for your life after learning about the recent spate of one hit deaths in the news
8. If you fail step 6, then charge your attacker with assault and smile at him in court after you win
That is how you do it Sup Forums
How to win in a bar fight almost every time using your brain
Are you a faggot?
Dude you're fucking retarded. Just grab a fucking pool stick or a mug and brain the asshole. GG
Yes I am. Just giving an example (one of a myriad) of how cheating wins over training if you are clever. I am a proud coward. If I can't win a fair fight then I will cheat as much as I can. Manipulation and cunning beats years of hard work at the gym and boxing. If you play the victim and do it well then you can do terrible things to normies and still be in the right as far as society is concerned
You loser
tis is true tho
Ever tried to hit someone with a pool que? I was in a lot of dumb bar fights as a teenager (Australian teens can drink in pubs) and a pool que is light as fuck. A pool ball however is good if you throw it very hard.
Doesn't work like that if your opponent has witnesses dipshit. Especially if you fight someone who frequents the bar (is a regular)
You're pretty much confirmed for never having been in a single fight anyway. Good fucking luck trying to bite someone's nose retard, you're just gonna look like a faggot trying to make out with a dude while he headbutts you, or smashes you in the face with a beer bottle.
A loser loses user. I've been bashed enough times to know that it's almost always better to be a loser who wins by cheating than be a loser who loses
Yeah, I have. Here's a pro tip, you swing the handle at someone, or grip it like a quarterstaff. If it snaps or breaks, you've got yourself a shiv anyway.
>grab a hold of him so he can't get away
KEKE
Nice trips. Just one example user. Who are the witnesses? They know him personally? Easy to dismiss in court as bias. Tape recordings never lie.
I have been in quite a few brawls also user. Once I pissed blood for a bout a day after some bouncers kicked the shit out of me.
Think about it. Take things to extreme (in apparent self defence). If you just end up looking like a fuckwit then charge the guy with assault. Either way you win although it's better to win with violent outside the box thinking
>bartender witnesses you goading someone into fighting them with facial expressions etc.
You're gonna be the one the cops come for. Of if you're saying shit like "Wanna go?" to some asshole, bouncers are gonna pound you good.
I'm way too shit at fighting to win 1 on 1 with most guys who have a little training (even with your "pro tip"). The only reason I've been in more than a few fights and not been kill is my mates are mostly excellent fighters. I usually just throw myself in there into an already started brawl and punch away. I'm talking 1 on 1 here
One more thing, outside the box thinking isn't shit like biting someone in the nose. In a fight that seems like a recipe for disaster on your end. Here's an example of some outside the box thinking in a barfight
>be me, 21
>some douchebag is sitting at the table I'm at while I'm trying to mind my own business
>being loud and obnoxious
>insists on arm wrestling me
>I win
>Obviously drunk and stupid, he punches me in the arm hard
>Nope
>Stand up extremely quickly, flip the table so it lands on him and knocks him over
>Immediately jump on the table while he's still slightly buried under it
>start stomping his ribs until I get pulled away.
Then take some martial arts and fucking work out, it's not that hard.
Facial expressions are complex and intricate user. It's not like I'm using body language beyond my face. Eye contact during a few brief facial gestures is enough to get the point across. You have to think about it intelligently. People are emotive animals
My question is, if you're shit at fighting, then why are trying to goad people into fighting you anyway? You have literally nothing to gain by fighting, no one does. Also the OP post just seems edgy as hell. I highly doubt that if the defendant has witnesses that the shit would hold up in a court. At worst the guy would aggravated assault. If the bartender testified he was being goaded into fighting (and most bartenders are decently smart/sober) your shit isn't going to hold up at all.
True. But that take extra effort. What I'm saying is that the people who try to fight in pubs because they have training aren't going to win against someone who is willing to use cunning but can't be fucked with the fapping of self improvement. So, you take martial arts lessons? Lets see how that works out for you when someone doesn't play the game you have been training for. I used 1 example in the OP. There are many more
Perhaps. The Original Post was short because no one bothers to read longer posts. What I'm getting at is this. The idea isn't to goad some poor bastard into fighting you. The idea is to play outside the box against someone who you feel is a complete fuckwit. Nothing wrong with losing a fight against a good bloke. If the guy is bullying you, then you have to find a way to fuck him. Simple as that. And if you can't win fairly, then choose your moment and take thing beyond the norm.
This post made me cringe so much.
OP is definitely an edgy 20 year old living with his parents who has never been in a proper fight before.
>bite someone's nose off as your first attack
That is the dumbest ducking thing I've ever heard. Do you know how hard it would be to bite someone's nose when your both standing a foot apart?
You sound like the type of person who plays imaginary situations in your head at night if you winning a fight at a bar and taking home an onlooking girl.
Kek
Headbutt in a fight. Takes a split second. Easy to bite someone's nose. Just people tend not to do it. I'm 30 by the way and I've been in quite a lot of blues. Things happen pretty fast after the first move. If the first move is throwing yourself into someone from one foot away and biting their face as hard as you can, well, what could you do?
30 years old and fapping over imaginary fights where you act like Hannibal. Fights aren't like they are in the movie mate, if you get the first punch in chances are you'll win. One quick Jab to the nose and your opponent gets shocked, their eyes well up and they can't see shit. Nothing cringier than someone acting tough on the Internet by starting threads about fighting tips which they obviously have no clue about. Don't get blood on your fedora when you bite a blokes nose off m9!
Trips confirms the fact that OP is a fag, and has never been involved in a physical confrontation.
Using a beer bottle or similar, in an environment where they are plentiful, is pure H2H gold.
When did Arya Stark join a jean jacket gang?
>I've been in quite a lot of blues.
I'm not a US resident, although I have watched enough TV and movies to understand the difference between US linguistics and the Queens' English.
Is this phrase some neologism created to enhance the lexicon of negroid patois?
kek'd
what the fuck is this gay shit