ITT: Weird shit you do that noone else knows you do

ITT: Weird shit you do that noone else knows you do.

I personally cannot stand having a dirty asshole after shitting, whenever I am not in my home bathroom I sit atop sinks and wash out my butthole, then wipe with toilet paper.

Or you could just wet the toilet paper with a little water like a norma-

Wait, forgot I was on Sup Forums
Carry on

It just doesn't work as well.

has anyone ever caught you in the act?

Never. I had only one close call for my entire life. My gf was entering the bathroom without knocking. I started screaming like a hyena which startled her and gave me enough time to jump down.

I blame this on my parents who used to sit me up on sinks to wash me when I was a young child.

For the past two years or so, I can't shit without enemas. Then I have to thoroughly cleanse my colon with even deeper enemas afterwards or I feel really dirty and irate.

I have become completely accustomed to using a bidet and it does not feel like a complete and proper shit without having water first cleansing the inside.

When I piss, I peel my foreskin back, wipe my finger along my dick where i peeled the skin back, and smell my finger.

Been doing this for years

I do this too, girls I have had sex with told me my dick smelled. This became a source of lower self confidence for me. I now do this to test the smell, and I wash my penis twice a day.

when I fap I pull the foreskin forward as I'm about to cum, catching it all. Then I go to teh toilet and release.

no cleanup required.

>wetting toilet paper

are you a fucking nigger?? youd have white shit all in your ass

OP i never shit outside my house if i can help it. I use baby wipes and still ALWAYS shower after a shit .. it should be the norm honestly

lmfao

I like the feeling of holding in my shit. Only solid ones tho I can't do greasy should it burns my anus.

Ever heard of a bidet, op?

>Get empty of bottle of apple juice
>Piss in it
>Go out to some public place and begin drinking from it
>Mfw normiefags have no idea I'm drinking my own piss

I user to do that when i was a kid. the satisfaction of getting to a toilet and finally letting go... it's not healthy though so i stopped

...

You probably shouldn't. washing it too often can lead to problems

same, very economic and handful way

...

small update for you:
Try to get the empty bottle from the market trasher. Then you can also go to the market restroom and piss. So you don't need been at home now ;;) I hope you like my pro tip

When I piss or cum, not all of it comes out so I make neatly folded dick tampons and put it on and cover it with my foreskin.