What kind of girlfriend do you want

What kind of girlfriend do you want

Pic not related hopefully

The kind that sucks my dick on the daily.

one with moneyz

Job, not lazy, attractive

hot, loyal, smart

Oh fuck, we got a DJ Khalid

The kind who hates men.

WE THE BEST. WHO?

this is why i don't have one

one who actually wants to fuck me

One who actually loves me, and not the drugs that I sell

mine

eyy my man

a real one

What, the drugs or the girl?

One that isnt real.

...

one that wont hit me

A mute one so I dont have to hear her bitch

...

Like this.

buy whips if that don't work

One with a feminine penis.

>pretty
>Love me
Thats all I want

i like where this is going

Hot, kind, smart, internet-savvy (I'd even take a tumblr girl over a twitter normie), kinky, fun but not annoying, tries her best not to be clingy but would love to be clingy if it were acceptable, lovey dovey, wants kids, is good with animals

>girlfriend
girls don't have dicks you fucking faggit.

>girls don't have dicks
you are a shame

I have a hot Colombian girl with image and confidence issues. She thinks she's way less attractive than she is and thinks I'm way more attractive than I am.
Only issues are that she hates weed and booze.
She's pretty great, she cleaned my room today just because.
I've sort of got her wrapped around my finger, but I'm too beta to manipulate.
If she liked weed she'd be perfect, but she hates it so will forever remain impure.

Im far too ugly to ever have a girlfriend. Which is a shame, cos I'm popular with everyone I meet, have loads of friends. I get friend zoned by every girl I meet. Probably because my self esteem is so low that I don't try anything so they just be friends. Either that or I am genuinely too ugly. I've mentioned this to people in real life. They say I'm not ugly, but I'm pretty sure I can see pity in their eyes

that description fits this one grill i know but i recently found that she's the girlfriend of this dumb, wannabe smart, assface whom i hate

Basically a better man than you?

This
If she doesn't have a feminine penis then she isn't worth it

try not giving a fuck for once. it's alright piss off people, especially girls with their cute little needy faces.
don't be there whenever they need you. respect yourself and your dong. aim higher.

a decent one, subjective

i wouldn't bother to care if that was true,
i am kang

Things like that don't work when you look like me though mate

Stolen from a song, but fuck you anyway.

>Don't want a woman that will be in the kitchen
>I want a woman on the floor with me, foetal position

>I want a woman on the floor with me, foetal position
now i'm scared

cute, smart, loyal, independent, someone that doesn't really need to show appreciation or receive it

...

Don't forget the feminine penis

I've had several dreams over the last year where I meet this beautiful girl with dark short hair (I think somewhere in London), she's short and her skin is very pale, and she's just as awkward as me but very smart and funny. I think a lot about her. It's so pathetic.

I'm sure you look better than me. Be who you are and be proud, chicks dig unique and weird shit i swear

No, I want her with a vagina.

Not true. All that confidence shit is what alpha good looking cunts say to ugly blokes to make them feel better about themselves. The reality is that it's absolute bollucks

That's gay af tbh fam

>u in bed horny as fuck
>doorbell rings
>u open door and u see that girl naked rubbing her giant erect penis
whatchu gon do boy

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
fuck off

Only a faggot woukd pick a pussy over a feminine penis

Tip for not getting friendzoned:
Flirt, right out the gate.
Even if this doesn't amount to anything, it forces the person to acknowledge that fucking you is at least an *option*.

Close the door. Go to xnxx dot com Wank myself off. Cry myself to sleep.
>I'm so lonely

I never get what I want, in fact, I don't even know what I want anymore because bitches be fuckT.

your thinking is bullocks, just be yourself, if you're making yourself become what people want you to be you gon be miserable all your life. you gotta accept who you are, don't hide your fat belly or horrible face, if that means your friends leave you, let them. YOu'll eventually end up with people like you and you'll no more be sad

DADDY

I honestly don't know how to flirt. I don't know if I'm flirting or just being friendly. And, at 28 years old, I don't even know what I'd do if it was successful. I've only had sex twice, I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm actually scared of sex now

>u cryin in bed
>the door opens
>manly voice "the penis ain't gon suck itself"
>now it's her dong and your mouth
whats your move

I'm confident with everyone, I make friends with everyone I meet. It's just that there's not single girl on this fucking planet that sees me n "that way", and I'm 99℅ sure it's purely because if my face, the one thing I cant change

Don't they all? At least that has been my experience

And the people I'm friends with are like me, they just good looking , or at least normal looking. I'm an ugly cunt, therefore am destined for loneliness

go to club, drink till you don't give fuck what you saying. walk up to a girl who looks like a slut. ask for her name and continue the conversation. don't worry you will be confident as fuck. look her in the eye. read signs like neck scratch and shit. kiss her when the time comes. if she freaks out and get pissed, apologize and find another slut. if she freaks out and smiles, tell her you just find her hot. take her out. take her home. fuck her. use rubber cause you might find some lost treasures inside that vaganiya. wake up, tell her to gtfo. and repeat a couple times. then repeat it without being drunk.

If only it were that easy

do you think everyone wakes up pretty? it's usually makeup. who knows you might have a giant cock. use whatever resources you have and see every girl as a potential fuck buddy. having a lot of friends means you become what people wanna see.

u a pussy

I know, right? I haven't even got the balls to fucking kill myself

One that stays at home all day, does all the housework, and likes it rough.

Surely becoming what people wanna see should help though? I pretend to be happy, everyone likes me. Becoming some weird introvert Goth aint exactly gonna help is it?

The kind that doesn't act like everything is my responsibility when I legit take care of everything as it is. Women can be so fucking insufferable and unappreciative.

I need something young, or younger at least. Pretty sure this shit just runs in her family.

one that constantly has black guys over our house and lets them use her like a piece of meat

The kind that knows when to shut the fuck up.

becoming who you feel comfortable to be should be the aim. when you don't have to put any effort to change yourself. what's wrong with being a weird introvert goth?

People are always better looking than they perceive themselves.
Just be confident, kind, honest and yourself and you just might find the girl of your dreams.

u talking about u mum

...

One who wants me for me, not for money.

Besides the obvious real criterion.

for fucks sake DiMiTri

I want a Gf like my ex was

Only without the lying, cheating and severe mental health problems

Transcend physical reality

I don't have to put in any effort to be myself. At all. Females just don't find me attractive. I dress well, I'm popular, I have money. That means I'm simply too ugly. Process of elimination

You sound like you've got some unresolved issues there, mate.

i gave aids to your ex

please don't die single

Just fuck my shit up

28 and never had a girlfriend. I'd say that there's a very good chance I will die single. I'll probably die by my own hand as well, just can't cut deep enough. One day I'll finally manage to end my misery

are all american bitches money obsessed? or is this an excuse you losers use to justify your virginity and sempiternal inadequacy

I mean i'm still in love with her, and it doesnt help that even though I told her its over, she keeps trying to worm her way back into my life

Virgin with bachelor's degree

A slutty one that also lets me fuck other hoes

sexier and weird and arty, but also into butt stuff and also submissive when i want but dominant when i want. also stinky butt and farts a lot and burps a lot despite her sexiness