Do not fear me for I am wise

do not fear me for I am wise
ask me your questions and receive true wisdom

oh wise parsnip, to what, shall I fap?

Velma, my child.

And what about i?

Coke or Pepsi?

thank you wise one.

oh wise parsnip, which is the best Sup Forums board?

ISIS or Al-Quada

Oh powerful parsnip, should I put all my money into my cars body first? or the engine??

Loli my son. You deserve it.

Pepsi has more friendship but coke works harder. The choice is yours. Never mix them.

Oh wise parsnip, why do I like it in the butt so much?

Neither please the parsnip.

The engine is the heart of the car. Tend to the heart before you tend to the skin. Even a great parsnip must start as a seed.

Parsnip!?!

do not push the parsnip, he is tentative and wise.

My bad...

Oh great parsip, I love my gf very much but I don't find her sexually atractive to her anymore. What shoul I do?

Anal

I meant Parsnip, not parsip. Please forgive me oh great one.

Dearest parsnip lady,
Do you love me? Could you learn to love me?

You like it in the butt because you desire to be a sissy trap. Follow your dreams young qt and pleasure older men off of craigslist.

Introduce new kinks. Alternatively horny goat weed.

The great and powerful parsnip is not an angry elder. He always forgives.

Parsnip loves all.

Still, anal. Catch and pitch. Strapons are less expensive than heartbreak.

I feel happy in the light of your love.

Hmmm... Older guys are gross... But if you insist oh great rooty parsnip.


I much prefer taking it from my gf... But OK?

Woa that was amazing, thank you parsnip I will work on my engine

Parsnip is pleased by your dedication

Should I get a bad dragon dildo oh earthy Parsnip?

Yes. Bad Dragon makes fine toys and you will enjoy them.

All mighty parsnip, how do I get rid of my piss fetish? It has been plaguing me for years

Woah eggplant, get ur own thread.

You can not abort a boner. Only touch it.

Thanks parsnip!

If only I was male.

Do not fear the fetish. Sexuality is natural and normal, even to a wise old parsnip.

MR. PARSNIP HOW DO I TELL MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE HIM

Tell him, "I love you." Sometimes two vegetables must come together and be one to bring true happiness.

Tits or ass, my almighty?

Whichever and what ever pleases you the most my child.

Thank you, sorry for yelling.

Persnip is new divination meme

Should I stop smoking weed?

If you feel it harms you, take some time off from it.

Thank you, wise one.

Oh mighty persnip
Will today be the day i get the dogs dick all the way into my ass?

Hello. i live in russia and im gay. what i should do? tell me oh wise one.

Oh wise Parsnip will I ever stop being such a stupid, worthless faggot in my life?

If you truly believe you will, you shall succeed.

When a parsnip is planted in poor soil, not given water, it can not grow. The parsnip must be planted in good soil no matter how far it may be.

Do not be so hard on yourself, my son. Life is an experience, not a contest. Follow your own path and make no apologies.

Oh thank you, wise one

Oh wise parsnip
Will I ever find a nice girl who's pretty, has a nice body, interesting coloured hair, likes punk but is also smart, kind but really active and wacky. I feel lonely and need a girlfriend

Child, the secret to find is to stop searching.

Yeah, that works for my FUCKING CAR KEYS

Do not argue with parsnip. There is much you do not know young one.

*gasp*
Oh thank you oh great One

But, how does one stop searching?
when my hope is all that keeps me going

We're out there, user. You have to snatch us up fast, I guess. We're a dying subculture.

Try going to local events for punks and goths, if available in your area. Maybe then you'll find someone

Eat a diet rich in root vegetables. Start a garden to grow root vegetables. If you serve the parsnip, the parsnip will serve you.

Oh wise parsnip, why do Fruit Loops cereal all taste the same regardless of color?

oh great parsnip, i love my gf but she has cheated on me before,and now a latino milf really wants my stuff, i have never cheated (3 year relationship) i now worry that if i would cheat i wouldnt get my shit up because the stress. im 18 and my gf is 19 and the milf is 27. what should i do ? how can i prepare myself ?

Master Parsnip why doesn't that girl accept the facebook request I sent her? We had such a good time.

Parsnip is a faggot, answer the questions you phony.

Yes they do. Its a ruse.

Trips speak that you simply must the milf. If bee pollinate other flowers, bee is not your bee. Milf eternal. Parsnip eternal. Bee not eternal.

Because you are creepy my child.

Oh great turnslip,

How do I stop resisting and go with the flow?

If parsnip go with flow he may grow well. But, if there is a flood and parsnip go with flow, parsnip will be kill. Great respect comes to those who make their own path. Chose your own destiny and seed somewhere nice.

thank you parsnip. now i know i must tame that tortilla

You must the milf. Ask her to pamper you a bit before you go to the bedroom.
Parsnip once cross pollinated with his own mother.

oh parsnip,
should i smoke weed before ?

Yes my dear child. Weed is a dear friend of the parsnip wise ones

will I ever be able to properly relate to wimminz again or will I forever view them as a cockslut who decided it's now my turn

you have much anger young seedling. start a garden and eat more fiber. So sayeth wise parsnip.