come up with a USEFUL power,
anons give you a shitty side effect / condition
example
>the ability to come up with the dankest memes
another anons replies with
>you can only post to myspace.com
come up with a USEFUL power,
anons give you a shitty side effect / condition
example
>the ability to come up with the dankest memes
another anons replies with
>you can only post to myspace.com
I have the power to masturbate.
>only in the heat of a fruitless courtship
>only when your mother is within 2 feet of you.
you are unable to shake the idea that abstaining from masturbating will give you cooler superpowers
the power to possess and recall any knowledge about the universe.
you can only recall information when you have a sharpie in pooper
the ability to breathe underwater and swim at amazing speeds
your power doesn't work on any information directly useful to your current situation
only works while swimming towards sharks
You are bounded to a desert
kek
You have Alzheimer's
okay anons how bout this
the power to negate all negative effects and conditions from any source.
I can teleport to any location.
every time you teleport, your clothes is left behind.
As you sit in silence and people start to worship you as a god, you realize that humanity will never be able to progress while you are still alive, so you end up sacrificing yourself for the greater good of humanity.
It only works at night
your perspective on what constitutes a negative effect or condition shifts rapidly and unpredictably
The ability to read someone's mind
Everyone hates you
that's a classic, you can hear everyone's weird-ass train of thought constantly without being able to turn it off
but only as they orgasm
the power to kill face rate/dick rate/roast me/ nudes you weren't suppose to share/porn webs threads by user ip
But only people who speak another language.
...as long as you had sex at that location.
good luck virgin
mods ban you 3ever
but your moms dirty sexual desires speak louder to you then anyone elses
but only those on
without these high-traffic threads, no one posts on Sup Forums anymore. this is actually a positive side effect
kekld
at the cost of an adequate thread dying as well
.....but they are replaced by fat acceptance and more trap threads
I can travel at any speed I want at any given time I want.
in return your father leaves
you can only do it barefoot and are vulnerable to all the damage caused by shitty surfaces.
wind shear will destroy your weak human body if you travel too fast
but more specifically, 1000 meters above said target
but only in Chernobyl
Requires you to tickle your sphincter wih a feather
shit u got me, that was a good one sir
i tip my forensics hat to you
a sphincter is any circular muscle.
could be his mouth.
be more specific.
But you can't escape from the pain
the power to know anyones history fears and goals just by looking at them.
you only go in a strait line and cannot stop
>the ability to turn water into wine
my body works in a way that converts all food and liquid intake into direct energy without making waste products of any kind what so ever. Effectively never having to shit or piss for the rest of my life.
But you're blind
You are blind
A guy kisses you and you are crucified
but you cannot tell anyone any of it or their head will explode
>white wine
wine is too fresh and needs two months to ferment
this is accomplished through reliving their life and circumstances, making the choices they made and ending up right where they are when you use the power. from an outside perspective it's instant, but for you it's a whole lifetime
Can get laid at any time by saying a simple phrase
You constantly feel like you are going to shit/piss yourself
but only fresh american wine
I have deadpools healing ability
your anus collapses into your pants consistently from no muscle usage
>redsock
Only works on animals
But not with anyone you feel attraction to
only works on people of the same gender as you.
by fat woman anytime you say kek. And it triggers whether you want it to or not
"Does this rag smell like chloroform"
All H2O you touch turns into alcohol and thus you immediately turn into a walking alcohol blob and die shortly afterwards.
meh, piece of cake side effect. i know I wouldn't actually have to so it's mind over matter
you become supreme leader of north korea.
Useless as you don't live in India
You are fatter than john candy
>i have the power to turn any regressive progressive, dyed hair, daddy issue faggot into a decent functioning member of society
every time you masturbate you grow more hair on your back
that's a classic, you are unable to use your knowledge to prevent bad shit happening to your loved ones because nobody believes you
your face turns into pepe
crippling depression, because instead of eternal happiness, the absence of negativity prevents you from feeling positivity
if you have to pass through minerals doing so, science mumbo-jumbo causes you to incorporate traces of them into your skin, making you look like a freak and possibly causing severe harm
simple phrase is daddies kisses taste like cigarettes
>what is a NEET
but the mind of a two year old
Not that bad
indigestible materials are incorporated into the body very crudely, serving no useful purpose but taking up space anyway. you slowly turn into a shapeless mass of garbage as you consume many times your original body weight in fiber over the course of a lifetime
So basically I'm deadpool?
Ability to push massive am out of weight
You can only do it in the push up position, making it seem like your doing push ups and not moving the fucking globe a whole foot and a half
>>i have the power to turn any regressive progressive, dyed hair, daddy issue faggot into a decent functioning member of society
they have to vote for Trump
society is in africa
You inherit their "traits"
The ability to buy everything I want without the need to pay for it
you no longer have lungs
their thoughts are translated in a random language you can not understand.
>already fat so doesn't bother me
This does not include anything over 5$
it only works on people you share a mutual, respectful, loving, and sexual relationship, and the phrase is "hey hon, wanna fuck?"
but you have no friends
With an iq of 50
i have the ability to bring video game characters to life for whatever reason you like. but only for a short period of time. (couple minutes to a day or two)
you have to give everything to Goodwill
>but you have no friends
None of do anyways, come up with something better
>every time you masturbate you grow more hair on your back
I want this power
from atari 2600
multiple super heros that have converted themselves into pure energy eventually over load and die
>your energy gives anyone near you terminal cancer
>proceed to buy a metric fuck ton of lotto cards at $5 a pop
>you have no friends
Even in reality, I would chose any material possession over my friends every day in the week
you can only keep what you buy for 5 mintues and they must be returned (if you used your power to get it)
u may only shop at street markets for the rest of your life
you must fight them
the society they function decently in is a communist utopia, your powers create enough proletarian consciousness to overthrow the government and trump is never elected. golden ending.
the ability to appear undeniably beautiful to anyone of your choosing.