Feels thread

Feels thread

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I'm having a rotten night. Anyone around to talk?

I'm here user.

Sometimes, it doesn't seem like people want to talk to me, but I'll indulge you, if you so please.

this picture made me smile

Thank you gentle anons, it is truly appreciated. I'll come right to the problem: how does one find something worth living for?

I have red-pilled, and cornered myself with bad choices over the years, and I think about dying daily, but neither Life or Death particularly appeal to me.
My life doesn't really lend itself well to promoting living either. I just drag myself through the depression day by day, to sleep and do it again.

I don't feel connected to the space at all. It feels like this is VR and I'm just the one with the controller.


There, said my part, however cringy it might read. Now I'm off to stare at the catalogue until it's time to sleep again.

Nothing and all are worth living for.

What is it that you enjoy doing in your free time user? What is it that you find enjoyable?

Acute depression. Have you sought any sort of help?

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>how does one find something worth living for?
You might want to refer to the OP image for that.

I apologize for my post, they're not what they used to be, or at least I don't post them like I used to.

One thing, is just to explore the world.
You can't find anything if you're not looking.

Also, you may want to ponder your values, even seemingly simple things, nebulous things, specific things.
Perhaps, someone once said, even though I'm just pulling this out of my ass: To know one's self is to know the world.

I'd need to read the image I'm posting once again (tfw my memory isn't that great right now. tfw I don't have an eidetic memory) to provide some more possibly useful information, but reading it may help you.

Some people just indulge, some people try to contribute to what they believe is meaningful.

Some people develop skill, some people obtain bodies of knowledge. Some people share with others, some people create (just create things, anything: visual art, musical art, literature, social groups, etcetera).

I find the best thing to do is to find something to work at. It could be anything, like learning the guitar but it gives you purpose and you'll improve as a person for it

>What is it that you enjoy doing in your free time user? What is it that you find enjoyable?
Nothing. I'm a vile NEET, I've been unemployed for 3 years. I fill my time with vidya to distract myself from the pain. I can't really go out or get a job thanks to the crippling depression and anxiety. I tried professional help, but all they did was put me on meds. Kinda stings when even the hospital social worker says you're a waste of her time.

Well this post spiraled out of control...

The pic is Caracalla, not Aurelius

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Try new things until you get excited.

Not at all bad advice... I'll ponder what you have said. Thank you!

Yes, but I never quite get to saying anything productive. There's a lot going through my head, but the words get lost in transit. Always end up saying "I'm fine" or "nothing."

Kinda like this:
youtube.com/watch?v=GYo2wtL9fsY

Why the fuck don't I have fun doing anything anymore, everything bores me

Well I can certainly relate. I don't know how to do it either.

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I've been through that stuff myself, it's not a nice place to be in.

I will tell you what I did; I started drawing, I was pretty bad at it at first, but since I had all day to myself I slowly started getting better.

As I began to realize that I was actually really good, my confidence started building up and I was able to go out more and meet with all the friends I had lost.

My advice would be to pick up hobby that you respect. If you really like guitar solos pick up a guitar and start practicing. If you really like photography pick up a camera and go out and take pictures.

The world is for you to do as you please! :)

Is that your email or are you reposting this? I used to talk to this guy... used to have his own threads almost every night but that was long ass time ago. If that's you and you're back that's fuckin awesome

It may seem like a lot of work but it's well worth it.
You are worth it user.
As you start building up, you will find the answer to your question, I promise you will.
So please smile user :).

repost, sorry pal just had this saved from like four years ago nd never did try the email

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Y'all just gotta throw yourselves out there, really open up.
Your psychiatrist needs to see you, all of you, completely naked (not literally speaking about that naked part).
You need to just dump yourself out, pour yourself out.
All of your thoughts, your feelings, just do it.
You just need to do it.

After it's all laid out, maybe it takes a few times of doing so, you can organize it, your psychiatrist can organize it, ponder it, connect certain pieces and see what happens from there.
It could end in nothing.
It could end in something.
That something could be good, that something could be bad.

You won't get anywhere if you don't try.
Sometimes, you need to try again, multiple times.

I truly appreciate you taking the time to reply to me. But I simply don't believe that I will ever 'get better'. I've been worthless my whole life, never happy; why would it ever change? I had a job, I got a degree (albeit a worthless one), I had a relationship; yet I wasn't happy then either.

>Your psychiatrist needs to see you, all of you, completely naked (not literally speaking about that naked part).
Well that would be great if I could afford one...They're expensive here in Canada. None of them are covered by healthcare.

My long distance relationship is falling apart, even though i visit every weekend and we truely enjoy the time we spend together. She is still having doubts if it will work.... Haven't slept last night because she means the world to me....

>guitar
Not only do you develop skill, which may boost your sense of self, it's just a skill. With skill, you can apply yourself.
Personally, I think it just sounds beautiful, even the simplest of music.
Even in the worst of times, if you can play a song, and listen, you may find beauty every time.
youtube.com/watch?v=rHlz0Tpyx5Y

Having a hobby also helps socially. The guitar is a very popular music, it's easy to find other guitarists. You could speak to guitarists about guitars and music all day, you can play music with them, make music with them.
A lot of potentially positive things may stem from these things.

Try emailing that user with the support line thing. He's the next best thing. I talked to him a long time ago and he apparently has some kind of counseling job and or degree, and he's damn good at least from my personal experience

See

Are you still here?

Tell me about yourself.

Being pessimistic will not bring a meaning in your life user.

In order to be happy, you need to feel happy, you need to smile.

You stayed the whole day in your house playing vidya and watching anime? Great!
You went out and drunk booze with your buds? Great!

Change your view about yourself, you are not worthless user, no one is worthless.

(That comes from a person that has failed her entire life and only now is slowly getting back up on her feet.)

>I've been worthless my whole life
Naw, you're fine.

>job
>degree
>relationship
You've got skills and knowledge that can be put to good use.

I just noticed I'm posting on Sup Forums and thought to myself
>what am I doing with my life?

Are these posts from the same person?

Why are you here?

Sounds like something my mom used to say: "fake it till you make it". I always thought it was silly, but you're saying it works. Has it worked for you?

Yes it has user, it may sound silly as you say but it works.

You have to do it everyday tho.
That's the hard part.
But it does work :).

So im a new comer. You can call me - T

Im going to say this

I feel helpless, hopeless and suicidal.

Anyone wanna listen or is everyone got their hands full with other ppl?
-T

Welp, what do I have to lose? Maybe it's a time for a change.

Thanks user. You've provided a small glimmer of hope on this rotten day. Truly, thank you.

I can fake it.
I can fake it enough to fool them all.
Make them think I'm happy.
Make them think I belong.
But it's all a lie.
And I can only fake it so long before I brake once again.
Now the choice has been made, and I only have to fake for a little longer.
Then I will never have to fake again.

I'm here. Can't promise advice. but I'll be here lurking.

Yes all these posts are from me.

I'm here to talk with anyone about anything :)

Let's hear the story user.

this seem's appropriate from what i've read on this thread

Have a great day user. :)

>I can fake it enough to fool them all.
lol no
I will always hold skepticism, I will never accept anything as truth, there will always, even if just a little, be a small sliver of doubt within me, with anything.

I'm here as well user. :)

Hope for the best user

I just woke up from a dream where I had a woman to acompany my through the long and lonely night and hold me
Just kill me now fam I can't handle this loneliness any more

I'm here to support anons!

I'd like to talk about you, but just a little bit, as it's probably best that your effort be put into other people.

You say you've been through hard times yourself, mind telling more about that?

When did you start drawing?
Do you watch anime?

Platonism and absurdism for me

This feel

I hate those dreams.
When you wake up and can almost still feel her hand in yours or taste her on your lips.....

no

ive lived a pretty positive minded life just being content and happy with who i am as a person and trying to spread a positive mindset to those around me.

has not helped me get a better job because noone wants to help me or give me a chance.

has not gotten me laid lately because women just look at me like im a monster because my hair is thinning out in front.

doesnt matter how strong of a mindset you maintain. sometimes you just never make it

I draw from various different schools of thought, fam, but I like your choices.

You are not alone! there's always people who loves you! And don't think you will be alone forever, someday someone will want to spent the rest of his/her life with you and it will be awesome.

I know the waiting is horrible, but it's all worth it. I'm talking from experience.

T here,

Sry for my late reply im on a mobile.
I dont exactly know what is wrong with me. Why i feel suicidal or what brought it on.
I have my own house im a manager in training at my work. I have a girlfriend who is the best friend ive ever had. I lost a ton of weight (i used to be a chubbyfatbutt/b/tard) i have friends and people who love me.

I think about my gf.. The success.. Positives and all the love coming my way..
But lately ive felt like my inner thoughts are SCREAMING. So much i cant think clearly. I mean it.
Ive been having thoughts of hurting myself. I told my girlfriend and she begged me not to hurt myself

I didnt make any promises..because i dont think i can keep them. I told her it will be okay though. I told her i love her

I still want to hurt my self. Bad
My thoughts are screaming over and over. I cant think.

What do. Am i crazy. Do i need to pop a pill...im not trying to pay two arms and a leg on therapy costs..

I was molested by my father from a really young age.

Growing up I had no friends because I was socially destroyed by what was going on and so the only escape was pokemon.

At my 15 birthday I ran away from home and I stayed homeless until a priest found me on the streets and took me in to live with him. I was 16 when that happened.

He was there for me, he took care of me and taught me a lot of things.

I am 25 now and things couldn't be better, I'm having a baby in 4 months and my husband is just unreal amazing and loving.

I always thought that I was going to die on the streets, there were a lot of days were I was with no food nor water. Even when the priest took me in I was still a broken mess.

I started drawing two years after living with the priest, I really sucked at first but I kept going and now I am able to draw really well. :)

I do watch anime, I finished watching Death Parade yesterday, and I really loved it. :)

Sometimes, I forget about how this used to be an anime website.

These images remind me of that, make me think past the surface, sort of speak.

In some ways, at some times, it's like I've got a heart of stone.
In some ways, at some times, I can be a softy.
Sometimes, when I read things in feels threads, I get close to crying, I'm not sure if like a negative emotion or a good one, or maybe strong emotional content triggers that in me.

I've almost cried a few times watching some anime.
I don't remember, but I may have cried while watching some anime.

But it still seems like I'm a pretty cold guy.

I'm just getting stuff off my chest, no need to reply.

>I started drawing two years after living with the priest, I really sucked at first but I kept going and now I am able to draw really well. :)

Awww! Im so happy for you user!

Could be depression? Regardless, if you have compulsions to harm yourself, that requires medical attention. Therapy may be needed. Or maybe you need a med or two? Talk to your GP. See what comes of that. Just be aware that if you say you're truly gonna hurt yourself, they might toss you in a psych ward involuntarily. I speak from experience with that.

Wow, a happy ending? How very rare!!! Good for you, still.

Really fucked up and lost my license in January.

Out 7k+ in damages, legal fees etc.

Folks don't treat me the same.

Had my last drink on January 16th, haven't even smelled booze since. About busted a bottle over somebody's head for asking me if I wanted some.

Wasn't drunk, but I was over the legal limit for people who aren't 21.

21 in July. Hopefully get my license back on the 15th of July.

Buddy is helping me build a hot rod, should be pretty sweet.


Everybody has their own shit, but my advice is to keep on trucking. Nothing else to do.

Thank you kind anons. :)

>
That means that you are a sensible person user! nothing bad about it! It shows you have emphaty!

And that's something people are lacking nowdays!

Oh yeah im not telling anyone im suicidal. I tried with my gf and damn near broke her to lil pieces....

Its why i havent. But what happens when i cant stop thinking about it. When opportunity and decision meet..

Thisis the only...squeak for help im putting out there. I know if i say something about hurting myself id have an emergency psychiatric evaluation.

No thanks. Cant afford lockup

That was me...T btw

When did those thoughts start user? Did something bad happen to trigger them?

Anyone up to talk?

When did this start?

I am here user! :)

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> Anonymous 06/07/16(Tue)04:40:02 No.688300825 ▶
>File: 1463903898105.gif (902 KB, 500x750)
>Anyone up to talk?

Always user!

hold me 2d girls ;_;

Read a book or watch a movie and jerk off go to sleep then get to work tomorrow you faggot

>I was molested by my father from a really young age.
I think I regret asking now, I think I'd prefer if I didn't make you think about that again.
Thanks for sharing, though.

You don't need to read my post, I'm posting more for myself than anything.

Growing up, I've made some bad decisions relating to friends. I was socially awkward, but I still had friends, and I had good friends. I didn't stick with and focus on the right people. Some of my friends would bother me when I just want to focus on my hobbies.

I was homeless a few times. I've lived in abandoned buildings, in a tent in woods, stayed at shelters.

Life wasn't easy, but only relative to developed societal standards.
I was in constant pain from the walking and carrying my stuff with me at first.

When I was at a shelter, I couldn't get enough sleep, 6-7 or less hours each night, I had to drink coffee every day to stay awake at libraries, I wanted an education so I was working on school online.
It wasn't so bad because I always had school work to work on, I had something to do and I did it, and I did well, despite the cognitive decline that comes with the sleep deprivation.


I slept in a tent later on because the lack of sleep took a toll on me.

Another time, I was in woods, it wasn't bad, I got a lot more sleep, made friends with some homeless people, but I'm just not comfortable being in public so much.

The government didn't give me enough money to go without going hungry, just enough not to die of starvation.

When I saw the homeless people, the homeless kids, I wasn't like them, I was light years ahead of them.

Some people just had it bad.

I didn't have it so bad, but luck didn't go my way.

I wouldn't have been homeless if I was in their shoes.

I was like them in some ways at some point, but that was years behind me being homeless.

I didn't steal, I didn't do drugs, I had plans and goals, I wasn't severely debilitated, I was wasn't negative like them, I was honest.

Hello user! :)

-holds you and pats your head- Everything will be ok!

Well i was standing in my kitchen one day...thinking about how much i fucking hate myself (no reason)

Then i thought. "I want to cut my arm open but everyone would overreact ."

They would too. Im not saying i wanna hurrdurrcutmywrist i want to cause myself pain. Out of spite.

Ever since its been just an endless thought. Now its a screaming thought. It effects my vision sometimes with the screaming..

I think im looney

-T

>I think I regret asking now, I think I'd prefer if I didn't make you think about that again.

I have put that long behind me don't worry about it user. :)

You are an amazing person user, you deserve a lot of love, and I know you're going to get it. :)

Ok, im socially inept. Like I go into a store and I start sweating, I get along well with others but can never really make friends. I know the cause of all this is my father as he never let me out as a child yet never paid any mind to me. His womanizing life style left me out of the picture to raise myself and it didnt help knowing that he constantly showed his disdain towards me. Ive long since forgiven him though I dont speak to him but the effects still follow me and its taking a toll on me.

He never came back online. Its been 18 days.

she's dead bro

Have no one to talk to. Depressed. Can someone talk to me instead?

>I didn't steal, I didn't do drugs, I had plans and goals, I wasn't severely debilitated, I was wasn't negative like them, I was honest.
I didn't bully people, I was very tolerant, and I didn't ask people for things. I was kind and generous.

I didn't bully people.

People weren't treated bad when I was around, I would've beat some ass if I saw that shit.

There was someone with psychosis, or some mental disorder, he would talk to himself out loud with different voices and as if he were multiple different people.
Was pretty amusing, actually.
I couldn't tell when he was out of it or if he was lucid and aware.
I didn't have a problem with him, I even helped him out sometimes.

Some meth smoking faggot one day, at the shelter, while I was taking a shower, decided he'd start beating on that guy.

That guy that dished out the beating one told a story about slapping him.

>he asked me for a cigarette
>I threw it in his face and slapped him
>if you're going to talk yourself and say crazy shit you're going to get hit
He was a target in my eyes after he said that.

If I wasn't in that shower, I would have beat his ass.

He dropped a meth pipe with meth inside of it in the shelter.

Some people stopped the fighting before it got too far.

The police later came but he was gone.

Not only would I have beat his ass, I would have used my MMA training to beat his ass.

Why can't you make friends user? What is holding you back?

But you can make friends! do not underestimate internet! it's great tool to open up to people and get to know people without the preasure of being in front of more people. Plus people tend to be more honest in internet so the friends you make are real and sincere with you!

As for your father, i recomend you to try small talks with him. I'm not saying you forgot what he did, but to forgive. Live your life in peace, don't get hate on your heart user!

I'll talk with you user! :)

What bothers you dear user?

how did you end up homeless?

See
If he's still around he'll answer every email. Usually within a few hours basically if he's awake he replies. Last I heard from him was a few months ago but bes been around for years

Dear user, my advise is for you to look for profesional help and try doing some activity to keep your mind busy of those thoughts.

Also remember that there will always be people worried about you. Even now i and the other kind anons are worried about you!

Kind words, I think thanks are in order.

I'm just going to leave this thread now, or maybe I'll lurk a little longer.

I'm not comfortable with saying goodbye, I'd prefer if I didn't get a reply.

I always put on this false veil because I always feel like if I show who I am, point out the flaws, that everyone will hate me, so I tend to push others away
I thought of that but its makes me feel ashamed of myself that I cannot truly connect to others in person and I have forgiven my father and tried to disregard his comments but I cant seem to shake off the effects

Sounds like just a whole lotta self hate you've been carrying around for a long time just building and building. Would this be accurate?

I wanted to let you know that I read your post.

If there is no reason to hate yourself then don't.

Honestly if you are happy right now you should start trying to control your thoughts.
I'm not good with this kind of stuff as I am not a professional but if I were you I would talk with my Girlfriend/Boyfriend about it.

You may not want to worry them but it's better to talk about it with someone you love and trust. :)