Hey Sup Forums

Hey Sup Forums
I thought I'd tell you about the legend of the mega potato

>be me
>social worker
>mostly just working with kids
>get called to a house in southern Blackpool
>britfag btw
>go to house in shithole neighbourhood
>out side of the house is rundown
>front window is boarded up
>whymustgodpunishme.mp3
>walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell
>elder (maybe 60yrs old) woman answers
>woman looks like a fucking trap
>I introduce myself
>"oh you must be hear for Brandon
>notice that woman has a fucking moustache

Will continue

Bump

Bump

Do continue!

Sorry for late replies I didn't write this out

>this skank lets me into her nest
>the house is a fucking bomb site
>cloths and food all over the floor
>dog hairs covering everything but there's no fucking dog
>this hagraven slithers past me
>she disappears into gollum's cave
>I swear to god this giant fucking potato comes stamping in
>this downie is easily 7ft
>I'm just barely over 5ft
>this mega potato towers over me
>mega potato is wearing shorts a vest
>smaug crawls from behind mega potato
>"say hello" gollum squeals
>"hi, ma name band-don" says the giant in the most potato voice possible
>I'm just stood there like "h... hi"

Will continue soon

Prewrite this shit
Bump

Op is ded

Rip op's thread

Chop chop OP. Need to know the end of this potato tale.

>another potato thread
>bong

You have my attention sir.

>just over 5 feet
What are you? Super manlet or femanon?

Mega tard continued

>Grendel from beowolf tells me that I need to look after Brandon
>I'm not a fucking babysitter
>she explains that she needs to go to the ATM to get her benefits (welfare for you amerifags) for Brandon
>she says bye to potato Lord and leave
>"where mommy?"
>mega potato starts crying like a 7tf baby
>I'm still in shock from Madonna leaving me with her pet giant
>I decide to put the TV on
>maybe this'll shut the potato up
>my fucking Lord there's only 5 channels on this TV
>put on CBeebies (kids channel)
>this captures the potato monster's attention
>success.jpg

Will continue in a minute

Lurking
Hurry up op
Bumping with cock

Bump

Bumping for slow ass OP. I fucking despise potatoes so willing to wait. Kill them all

You got anymore cock pics?

Waiting for potato to go full tater tots.

God damn OP hurry your shit up

This is a great troll.

Bump

Interested. Keep going, OP.

Also, question: Did you choose employment involving potatoes, or did your life go horribly, terribly awry?

This glorious stunner

Bump

Mega potato continues

>after a few minutes bendon gets bored of human entertainment
>I didn't know a potato could have such a small attention span
>he starts getting angry
>"play! Play!" This fucking downie King starts his ritual
>he gets up and starts having a spaz attack
>I'm literally shitting it
>at this point I make my peace with Allah
>this massive vegetable lies on the couch (that's covered in cloths and dirty dishes)
>he starts to worm around
>think quickly user, what would Mat Damon do?
>"hey Brandon, are you hungry?"
>he suddenly stops and snaps his head back at me
>this was possibly my biggest mistake

Will continue when I get chance

Wtf are you typing on? A typewriter? Hurry up nigga

>hungry

Potato-chan is going to turn out to have Prader-Willi syndrome, isn't he?

I think all this making people wait might be b8

Fresh prince incoming?

Mega potato continues.

Then nothing of note occured. I went straight home and had lasagna for my tea.

Perhaps the Loch Ness monster

wow nice cock

GO ON OP

Looks like Potato-chan killed OP and even now is violating his corpse's butthole.

type bish

Really sorry for slow replies
Sup Forumsrothers

>this fucking plant jumps of the sofa at and runs into the kitchen
>French fry is literally moving at light speed
>I follow the mega potato to what I assume is his feeding through
>this fat fuck is sitting slat bang in the center of the kitchen
>the kitchen smells even worse than the rest of the house
>there's mold on every wall
>the tard turns his head back
>"toe-sties" demands the potato
>fucking what?
>"you want some toast pal?"
>"no! toastie!" Replies the spaz
>I assume he wants a cheese toastie because talks like a child with brain damage
>I quickly make a cheese toast not wanting to upset the vegetable King
>he watches me the whole time
>finding ingredients in the kitchen is like trying to find an English person in London
>I eventually produce a toasted cheese sandwich
>I place the food near him
>we don't break eye contact while I put the plate down
>he is fucking drooling like a pussy
>he take a quick look at the food before slamming his hand into it
>he eats the sandwich like a zombie eating a corpse
>he barley breaks eye contact
>this is truly horrific
>I feel like I should make myself something to eat as a last meal
>he finishes and sands up
>he gets closer and I realise how small I truly am compared to him
>please be merciful great potato God
>he looks down at me
>"fank you" he proclaims

Will continue, trust me there's more

we r w8ing

go on faggot

Central drive area by any chance? Blackpool fag reporting in

How are you enjoying public sector with Supported Living?

Episode V: The potato strikes back

>I'm get physically sick
>the stench of this house along with this drooling plant is disgusting
>I try to make small talk with him but he just sits perfectly still and watches TV
>fuckit.mp3
>I watch TV with the potato
>after about 15 minutes he farts loud as fuck
>he slowly turns his head and looks me dead in the eye
>"I don poo poo" explains Rihanna
>oh fuck
>the mega potato gets up
>he drops his fucking shorts and takes off his nappy
>no surprise he had nappy, I'd come to expect nothing less from him
>he takes his nappy off and throws it against the boarded up window
>he uses his shorts to wipe his fat arse
>what the fuck am I actually seeing right now
>he looks me dead in the eye while pulling his shitty shorts back up
>I'm fucking shocked and can't move
>I just stay still for the best part of ten minutes wishing I was dead, pic related
>his mom gets home
>gollum walks in the room and looks at the shit covered window
>"didn't I tell you not to feed him" asks Chaka from the land of the lost
>"eeeeeer no?"
>"well I'll be telling your manager about that!"
>are you fucking kidding me right now
>I fucking bale
>get home and have three showers
>my girlfriend gets home
>she makes me cheese on toast because I 'look upset'
>the sight of this make me throw up
>to this day I cannot eat cheese on toast
>the retards have won lads, they're simply too stupid to be defeated
>fml

Yeah man, this was a few year ago but I moved since

His name bobby?

Final part

>years later
>see gollum walking in town
>get so angry by the look on her face
>go home and punch a fucking wall

if you take anything from this story just remember to do good in school or you'll end up doing this for a fucking living

Brandon

I read your story. It was amusing. You need to stop using the word literally though, I don't think it means what you think it means.

Pretty sure this is bobby you're talking about, your name starts with a J. Call it an educated guess...

>drooling plant
Kek

Too fucking literary Shakespeare - when I read a story about shitty underpants being thrown against a boarded up window I want Trump to be mentioned