Story thread. Can be funny, weird, sad whatever heres mine
>be me, 16 >watching documentary about columbine >finish watching my documentary and go to bed >next day, walking to school >think about how all the kids went to school that day thinking it would just be a normal day >think that nothing eventful will happen today >get to school >entire year gathered in school library >school teacher says one of our classmates was involved in a critical incident, slang for your friend was just killed >everyone in tears, school shaken by what happened >his girlfriend in counseling all day >counselors and therapists all over school >his house strewn with police tape
Never assume its just a normal day Sup Forums
Thomas Nguyen
>be me ,preschool >field trip to road safety 0lace called Think! >sit in auditorium >this fucking dummy comes out >looks like the thing from dead silence mixed with alfred e neuman >HEY KIDS >scared out of my skin >it looks at me and says "WHOS THIS." >Im wesley" i reply to the hellspawn infront of me >recently moved from glasgow to wales so accent is still thick >it talks to me in a shitty glaswegian accent >sounds like an evil dead creature >still think about it every so often
Zachary Collins
OP just keeping the thread alive
>at primary school >in charge of teaching tard maths because his wrangler is a lazy bitch >"right whats 2 x 6" >he answers 9 >fuck me >all of a sudden he perks up >"hey wes are you gay?" >"why the fuck would you ask that?" I >wrangler tells me I need to be more sensitive >same day tard peeks into girls changing room >teachers do nothing
Daniel Hernandez
Lurking
Elijah Jones
So what incident was it
Henry Gutierrez
OP again heres another story about the tard, lets call him Mike.
>first time meeting mike >final day of year 4, grade 4 for merics >mike at table colouring in power ranger >go over and say hi because he looks lonely >he says hi, pretty normal >bell goes, run out for the summer holidays >mike starts running towards other tard >starts caressing other tard >they feel up each others dicks over clothes >teachers do nothing
Parker Perez
Not an incident that gained much media attention outside our town, but he died in a car crash that police thought was intentional
Jace Hall
Mike story >tired of mikes shit >assembly >teacher going on about jesus >mike grind his teeth really loud, slurping and whatever other disgusting thing he could do >lean over and tell him to stop it >way back his wrangler tells me to be more understanding >mike clings to me so he asks me what she wanted >decide to have some fun, say the wrangler was trying to kill me >he believes it >Spends rest of year giving wrangler the evil eye
Lincoln Garcia
>history assignment for vehicles in the 1950s >wrangler puts mike in my group >fuckme.iso >decide to do a film >have to find a role for him >decide he can control camera >mike wabbles it around and nearly breaks it on the floor >decide to make him act >he runs away immediately when we turn the camera on >comes back 15 minutes later >girl in my group gets a post it note and cuts off the sticy bit, putting the corner back on with glut too make it one of those snapboard things >tell mike to say action and clip it down >film the shoot >mike says action and we begin >every 15 seconds he yells ACTION >have to hand it in >teacher gives me bad marks for not controlling him
Robert Lopez
Mike again >school talent show for children in need event >for non britfags children in need day is an event in november where theres a telephon and schools do fundraising activities for children who are abused or homeless in the UK >I play piano for the talent show after the school made me to get the numbers up >sit back down in the performers row >holy shit mikes here >he starts pointing out all the things in the room >had enoughof this >finally its his turn >he sprints onto stage >stops dead centre >"wat did the bird say when it sandpapered?" >silence >"ruff!" >im fucking dying and his wrangler is giving me the evil eye >his tard friend climbs on stage >they start talking, audience assumes its part of the act >its not, they just have a conversation for 10 minutes >teachers slowly edge them off >george carries on telling jokes throughout the show
Josiah Rogers
>be me >senior Year >teacher is telling us about san bernardino shooting >tells us about a charity for one of the victims' families >last name was wetzel >autist weeb chick raises her hand >"Wetzel?" "Like Wetzel's Pretzels?" >mfw
Grayson Evans
>school play >went to christian school so it was nativity >Nobody in the school believed in god so nobody really cared, except of scourse for mike >roles handed out randomly >I get role of one of the 3 wise men, not many lines so Im happy >mike is a sheep >my friend gets mikes script >writes "baa" all over it >play starts >BAAAA BAAA BAAA BAAA >1 hour of this shit >his parents look really pleased >teachers congratulate him
Luke Morales
>be me >be 14 >only one in my grade that can play guitar >"Hey user wanna help me teach guitar ? " >i answer "sure" >class is full of tards >fucking hitting eachother with fender guitars, yelling, and breaking strings >one tard says he's been playing for a while >mfw he can't even hold a pick properly >alright tard let me help and show you how it's done >"no fuck you i know what I'm doing" >i go to test him >30/100 was his final grade >i kek
Luis Brown
bumping
Joshua Bennett
>one of my friends found out that mike was attached to me >he tells mike to go up and hump my leg >talking about a movie I was going to see with one of my friends >turn around >mike literally millimeters away from my face >he smells of cat piss and has smears all over his face >"whats that on your face" >ATS OREOS he says spitting some in my eye >how i didnt get pink eye ill never know >mike starts humping my leg >i try to wrestle out of it but he is too strong >teachers take him away >see him in classroom watching lion king and screaming at the top of his lungs >mfw
Samuel Allen
>our class in the hall for geography >two indian students from the local university came in to teach us about what its like in a different country > mike tells them im foreign even though scotland is still part of the UK >one of the students brings out a sari >they start to dress teachermin it >Mike starts crying >"NO MISS DONT GO" >wtf >"ILL NEVER FORGET YOU MISS" >The foreign students look at the teachers uneasily >the teachers look at me as if I know what the fuck to make of it >he starts screaming hysterically >teacher takes sari off >he throws up all over the floor >i die laughing while the foreign students start to panick
Gavin Johnson
>sister is a sjw fuck >stereotypical white girl, drinks starbucks, uses macs and wastes my parents money >buy a new gpu >she criticizes me for spending money on pc parts >pics up her mac in a huff >drops it >it doesnt start up >spends 1k getting new shittier mac
Joseph Rodriguez
Actually made me kek
Noah James
>be me >just starting 7th grade >gets assigned a desk in front of this betafag that failed twice. We'll call him Rick. >desks are arranged in a face to face way >Rick constantly annoys me with talking and nonsense when trying to work. >starts calling me gay >hellno.jpg >call Rick a faggot and that he should kill him self for failing so much. >Teacher hears and doesn't care, probably had enough of his shit to. >mfw realize i got a free ticket to insulting this cunt >pik related >couple of days later >rick and his friend talking about some weeb shit >he tells his friend to go home and look up "cartoon porn" >walk over to rick and his weeb friend and call them gay virgins for watching cartoon porn >rick and weeb friend get Aggressive >oh fuck.gif >yell "KYS" >teacher sees and sends them and me to the office >principle asks what happened >"I walked over to join in on the conversation and to try and be friends and they tried to fight me." >"ok go back to class user i take care of this" >calls teacher in the office >ohgodnopls.bat >get ready to face the consequences of being suspended and moved to another class >next day comes by >don't see rick and his gay friend in class >asks teacher where they were >"They're suspended user, and will be in Mrs. user's class from now on." >mfw teacher lied for my sins
Ian Hernandez
Topkek
Jaxon Fisher
Heh, here's a long one.
>be me, 14 and a few months >we're going on year 9 camp >it's a shit-tier camp >first night was torture >room was stuffy >woke up at 2am oxygen-deprived and needed to piss >there were eight of us packed into one tiny room >went out to the toilets, explained to the security guard that I just needed the toilet and I'd be back soon >come back to room feeling much better >walk in, realise there's like no oxygen left in the air >wake up one of the guys to ask if we should open the window >mozzies attack so I start spraying mozzie spray >everyone wakes up >our cabin got fucked over because the gay autistic kid in the year was forced into our cabin even though I asked a few times to have him removed >we all find it hard to get back to sleep except for one guy who didn't wake up yet >we're quietly talking >one of the guys starts exercising in order to be tired enough to sleep >gay autist gets turned on by the dude working out >he starts screaming and wailing about how he wants to be straight >he sings to one of the girls' Pokemon plushies that she gave to him to sedate him for the camp >he's shit at singing >the resident Chaotic Neutral in my friend group starts egging the kid on, trying to get a reaction out of him >he can't do anything to make it worse, the idiot's too far deep and shut out most outside stimuli >the last guy finally wakes up >we're all pissed at the gay autistic kid for keeping us up at 2am >the guys in the cabins near us heard everything, it was that loud >security guard comes in >she automatically assumes we caused the screaming >luckily Autismo Supreme starts blubbering about how he scares himself >she quickly softens up >tells us not to participate in the morning activities the next day because apparently we'd be too tired >fuckingmakemebitch.avi >at 6am camp staff come around and wake everyone up including us >we're all groggier than usual >and we're all pissed off
Cont:
Wyatt Watson
>be me 5 years ago >15 years old >talking to this girl who was a 6/10 >7/10 on a good day >She says she's interested in me a while back >I was interested in her as well >too little self confidence to try to start a relationship >over time friends start asking if we're a couple because we're together so often >I enjoy the idea of being asked if we're a couple >we get along almost perfectly for like a year >finally get the balls to ask her out >she thought I was joking and came over to my house because I lived slightly down the road from her >comes and tries to console my feelings or something >she never gives me a clear response >over the next week or 2 tensions are a bit high between us >she comes over to my house again >says she made up her mind >says that she will never feel the same way back for me and that I should just give up these feelings >heartbroken for a few days >a perfect friend is mostly lost because she just gives up talking to me >we talk now but the tension from before is still there >honestly should just give up this friendship but she's one of the few people that still talk to me
Jonathan Jenkins
same shit happened to me, but it went like this: >be me a couple months ago >prom coming up > 8/10 girl i used to like and that used to like me moved but not that far away >still talk to her here and there >decide to ask her to prom cause had no one else i liked >she says yes >a week before prom and we haven't even spoken >even after i try to text her i get no response >ask friend to ask her if she is still going to prom so i know what color to wear >she says shes not going >gg no re i no longer talk to her and she has only contacted me once upon me not replying >junior year ends greatly.sarcasm
Sebastian Phillips
why you no write it in advance
Hunter Wilson
>be sixth grade >In math class >Joking around with friends and being my obnoxious sixth grade self >Fat teacher Mr. Kelly points at me and says that's what happens when you take too many drugs. >Makes me angry cuz my parents had just put me on Ritalin and I didn't want to be. >Respond Mr. Kelly you're what happens when you eat too many cheeseburgers. >Entire class erupts in laughter >could visibly see this grown man brought close to tears >HFW
Christopher Morris
Cont from above
>the day passes >it's now night, and we're doing the commando game >basically MGS in a dark forest at night in the rain, with teachers patrolling and there are "hostages" >my friends and I sneak around the forest going "Snake! SNAKE! SNAAAAKE!" >before going out we were warned that if we got caught by security guards near the activity equipment we'd be sent home that night >we wander into a gravel clearing >we thought we reached the hostage place because we found a wooden structure >we saw torchlight and hid back in the woods >we whisper about what we found out and realise that we were at an activity area, and the torch we saw wasn't a teacher, it was a security guard >we're all shitting ourselves >it felt too easy to get out like that >spend another ten minutes sneaking through the rainy forest >see two torch beams and hear the voices of teachers >the torch beams converge on our general location >one of my friends stayed down and hidden like me, but the other one gave up and stood up, revealing our position >mfw teachers are better security guards than security guards >we go back in for another round, got nowhere near the hostage area >we all go back to our cabins >play Cards Against Humanity with the Sonic 2 OST playing in the background >mfw I managed to get my Sonic-hating friends to actually like the soundtrack of a Sonic game >we use the Cards Against Gallifrey expansion pack >mfw Chaotic Neutral friend who doesn't watch Doctor Who is kicking our arses at Cards Against Gallifrey >we're having a good time >we try and drown out the shitty mainstream music that the normies are blasting through the cabin walls >teachers start sending everyone off to their rooms >Autismo Supreme shows up, tells us that all the girls broke down crying >we put away the deck and all start talking >I mention I saw one of the girls up and leave earlier, but still stuck around >it goes to story time Cont:
Benjamin Campbell
Bump
Justin Nelson
>be me, about 13yo >going to German equivalent of high school >hear rumors about there being a new kid >get to class >there he is, it's a black kid >teacher asks him to introduce himself >"My name is [user] Weißmann" (= literally translates to "Whiteman") >I burst into laughter >"HAHA THAT'S FUNNY, CAUSE HE'S BLACK!" >everyone looks at me with disgust >become friends with Weißmann later
Dominic Scott
>get bj from girl >decide it would be fun to tickle her during >she starts laughing >chokes >blueballed >worth it
William Ortiz
>got drunk as fuck >walking down the street >wet cement >decide to stick dick in cement >pull down pants, get hard and slap it down >dick mark stays there >mfw they fixed it after 2 years
James Kelly
Cont from above:
>tell story about my two childhood best friends and how our friendship changed over the course of our lives >my friends kept butting in saying "and then they had mad sex" >I denied it until I reached the point in the story where I realised they were almost correct >kek >two of the guys fell asleep during my story >more stories from other friends >eventually everyone falls asleep except best friend and I >we stayed up until midnight firing a stream of insults at the sleeping Chaotic Neutral, talking about what happened with the girls etc >we eventually decided to make sure they're all ok >friend falls asleep >I succumb to the darkness >the next day was relatively uneventful, although some of my friends and I sang along to the bus radio >friend who spent entire camp with cabin to himself told me I should've just moved to his cabin when the shit hit the fan >mfw the gay autistic kid kept us up at 2am because he wanted to be straight >mfw my bros and I were peacefully playing Cards Against Gallifrey while the girls were all breaking down crying >mfw my friends and I successfully avoided detection by a security guard >mfw my long winding story of my childhood bored people to sleep but engaged the others >mfw I realised there was an easy way out of the fiasco
Alright my story's over now. For now.
Nicholas White
>be me, just now >at hot hippy chicks place having some sneaky joinys >her friends kept hinting at leaving us alone >get mad boner >wait for sexual tension to build up at right moment. >kamasutra.exe >sexual tension in there air but perfect moment never arrives >end up watching The Office UK >funny af >end up getting nightbus home a 23 yr old virgin >gonna kill myself
Hunter Morris
Rip
Chase Wood
>decide to get Pizza Hut one day w/ bf bc we're lazy >find decent parking spot, go in and eat >come back out to discover giant fucking van blocking our spot >is pissed >walks over to driver's side to bitch about shitty driver >mfw driver has no legs & apologizes profusely >mfw walk of shame to car w/ bf laughing ass off
Henry White
>in class during the morning >watching movie due to it being class where not much is actually taught >hears loud explosion in chemistry lab right next to our class >people running out of room past classroom >we go look in the classroom and there is glass and blood everywhere >class is evacuated and we get to burn some time that was supposed to for another class >find out what happened >apparently the class was making a potato gun like they always do at the end of the year >some idiot put to much gun powder in a glass container and it exploded in his hand