Sobriety thread

Sobriety thread.

I've been abusing drugs (specifically weed, ketamine, Valium and alcohol) for the best part of ten years. I am 2 days sober and it's already boring a hole in my head. I am intellectual and sporty but not hugely outgoing. How do I find something that is worth devoting my life to? I do not want to casually drink/smoke my way through life like everyone else around me. I want to be exceptional in my field. Talk to me Sup Forums. Tell me your sobriety success or failure stories.

Photo is of my mother holding me when I was a baby. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognise me anymore.

too late
you wasted your life

Ketamine and valium are fairly easy - just don't buy that shit. Avoid the people who sell you it, and avoid going to the places where you normally buy it.

Weed and booze, not a clue - I smoke every day that I have weed, and I drink probably 5 times a week, not heavily, but enough. My dad died a few years back, my brother is a lazy cunt, and my mom needs constant care - she knows who I am, she just wishes she didn't need me, so she's pretty terrible to be around 90% of the time.

Drinking and smoking will stop you achieving your goals, but there's a looong fucking list of other stuff that will do that too, and weed and booze makes them easier to deal with.

I'm 22

Why does your mom need constant care?
What job do you do?

You seem like a drug addict yourself.

Find an interest or job that you can be passionate about and become expert at. Look for a circle of friends that don't abuse substances and are of better character. Environment is huge in defining mental outlook. Resist the urge to feel sorry for yourself or rationalize getting zoned. The world is full of shit and life is hard - you just have to find the good parts and have the strength to be good to yourself.

Understandably you are missing your "dope" but remember this is a chemical dependency that your brain physically has not YOU but the wiring system that supports you. In that way you brain is a parasite, that is eating away at your life. When you use the term "boring a hole in my head" consider instead "my head is boring a hole in my life because it is addicted to weed, ketamine, Valium, alcohol and vegan burgers. But I refuse to let it do that I control needy fucking brain it does not control me bitch." Also sorry about your mom having Alzheimer's that sucks.

Speaking from personal experience:
I always crave it, but I just have to keep my mind on other things. I'm a productive member of society (and always have been).
I occasionally use (I'm not in a 12-step program or anything, so occasional use isn't bad), but as long as it's responsible and isolated, it's all good.

Sorry about your mom fam. Alzheimer's is a deep subject for me with my family's history.

Quads don't lie. Also insightful and helpful. Thank you user

Are you that chemical dependency fag from the other weed thread that wouldn't supply citations for his ramblings?

She has a string of health issues, COPD being the worst - she's essentially waiting to die, dosed up to the eyeballs on meds all day - I used to be a retail manager, was good at it too, then my dad died and there was no-one else to take care of her. My wages wouldn't cover even basic care for her, so here we are...

She raised me, and now it's my turn to pay that back - no point being a little bitch about it, she's my mom, but there's also no need to try and cope when I can rely on my chemical dependency to get me through.

Once she's passed, I'll get back on the horse and see what prospects there are, I have a lot of basic skills so it shouldn't be too hard.

How has it affected you? My mum was diagnosed when I was 15 and she was 55. My brothers left me to care for her but I wasn't able to and they blamed me for her rapid decline. At first when the house was sold we could talk on the phone and I saw her quite regularly but she hated being in the care home so they shipped her off to another one and upped her meds to zombie level. She used to beg me to kill her when I came to saw her and I used to fantasise about marching into her carehome and blowing her brains out with a shotgun after I told her I love her and said goodbye. I'm 22 now and she's 62 and she doesn't recognise anyone even my dad. Hopefully she will die soon because I can't imagine her life is anything other than confusion and pain.

No dude. Just someone who has been down that road including the parent with Alzheimer's. I made it and this advice is based on my own experience on the matter.

Do you have any nudes of your mother? I'd wreck her filthy arsehole.

On a relapse now as a matter of fact. It's always only been marijuana for me but I still manage to let it control me. Don't get me wrong, I was always lazy and underachieving from as far back as I can remember, the weed just seems to feed into that and advance on it. I quit for almost 7 months and was doing fine until it made it's way casually back into my life and now I've been back on the daily use for almost 4 months again. Even when I was off for the 6 and a half months I wanted it every single time I thought about it. It was physically challenging for me to not try and relapse. I had to avoid weed threads on Sup Forums even as to not convince myself to smoke again. Pretty much cut all ties with my friends who all smoke pot.

To be honest with you Sup Forumsro(s) it was a lot easier when I was off of it for the 6 months. Life was starting to go in a positive direction. I was getting much needed teeth work done that I couldn't afford before due to spending all my money on pot. Now that I'm back on it I just suffer through the week on a couple bucks just as long as I can get high all week. It's terrible and not something you want to get yourself into. Never have anything nice for myself because I spend all my money on weed.

It will slowly eat you alive.

Learn to play an instrument, dude. Once you have experienced the beauty of sound all other sensory experiences will seem disappointing... and unnecessary!

Never smoke again user. I will help you through it

i just recently got over the mind numbing boredom of sobriety. Honestly, it's going to hurt no matter what, until the inital fog wears off. I'd say for the next week or two (probably longer) you'll just have to deal with it. Not much you can do as your brain will be recovering from 10 years of abuse m8. Once the fog lifts you'll notice and increase in performance and have such a clear head. Keep at it m8, sounds like it will be worth it for you. I was coming off Heroin and cocaine, if you're wondering.

It was my grandma for me. My parents were rarely around when I was a kid because they worked all the time to provide our middle class life style in California. My grandma raised me from the ground up. Played toys with me and all that good shit. She was like a second mom to me. Then it just hit. She started forgetting stuff. Small stuff at first that eventually grew into her not even being able to form coherent sentences. She finally passed a few years back... I never forget how I neglected to visit her in her home while I was busy with life. I regret each day not showing her more of the same respect and affection she showed me. I was a piece of shit tbh...

user my life is so fucked I don't have many reasons to push on anymore. I cry myself to sleep some nights thinking about all I've fucked up on in life. Even now I'm sitting here tearing up at how fucked I've let my life get.

Maybe learn how to scuba dive? you could move to a tropical locale (or stay where you are if you're close to water), and teach scuba. it's amazing...

Or you could learn how to fly. What are your passions, interests? pick the one that speaks to you, and go full-bore into it.

that dementia/Alzheimer's is tough, my dad has it. he still recognizes me, but the decline's been rapid. he was diagnosed at 60.

as for sobriety, what helped me early on was going to meetings, and spending time with really good, genuine people in the program.

keep your head up, you sound like a good person. and life can be hell. but it really does get better.

I used heroin and other opiates for 10+ years. Been clean and sober for the last 2+ years. I got into a 12 step program and it worked for me. Gave me something to do everynight, new positive people to be around and gave me the recources to change everything about my life. Before i got clean i was a homeless street junkie panhandling outside of gas stations. One day a guy gave me a pamphlet with the locations and times of meetings on it. I showed up at one asked for help and my life has been better since. Now i own a home have my kids back in my life and living with me. A good job. And its all because i walked into that meeting with nothing left to lose.

Your addiction is eating you alive.
Learn to control that.

Weed is just your drug of choice.

I tried working a job to take my mind off of it all but the job sucked so I just bounced. I've never had good work ethic. If it's a shit job I'll quit even if they're paying me $30 an hour. It's always been that way for me. It's hard to convince yourself to quit something when it's actually physically all you're good at doing. I've never played sports, never learned an instrument, never worked a job more than 3 months so no good experience. I always quit smoking and relapse because my life is shit. The best fucking part is that I do it all to myself.

Maybe find a job connected with smoking? Moving to a place and work in a coffeeshop or something?

I wish I could Sup Forumsro... The lack of work ethic has left me flat broke unfortunately. I live in the bible belt where everyone still thinks weed was grown by satan himself. No money to get anywhere either. I know I could hold down a job if I actually enjoyed the job...

I've smoked weed daily for a good two years, and have a full time job. It probably isn't the weed, you may just be a piece of shit.

>The best fucking part is that I do it all to myself.
Self awareness is a good thing. Except if you use it as an excuse.
You know what you need to improve on. Read some self improvement books.

WTH ever happened to educating yourself? In this day with the unlimited information you can get from the internet it's inexcusable.

Lack of work ethic is just that, lack of work ethic. If you work on it it´ll become better after a while, but I don´t know you, so don´t know all the variables in your life :/

I've tried these before too. They all just tell you to buck up and work hard because nobody starts on top and all that good shit. I don't want to earn the stripes I just want them given kinda thing. Obviously that's not how life works.

Trust me when I say there's a lot of variables. The biggest being that I had no start up like a lot of teens seem to have out of the gate. My parents were always broke too so I never had a car to commute or opportunities to go to good schools and that sort of crap. It's always been a "You want it you earn it" situation for someone with shit work ethic.

>I don't want to earn the stripes I just want them given kinda thing.
Well when you're tired of being pathetic maybe you'll look into developing self discipline so you can better yourself.

It's all on you.