Sup Forums help, i woke up with a cold this morning and it's fucking driving me crazy

Sup Forums help, i woke up with a cold this morning and it's fucking driving me crazy.
What's the best home remedies, or tricks for beating a cold that you guys have came across?

walking to the local pharmacy

and www.google.com

Go fuck yourself cunt

Drink a warm cup of bleach, does the trick every time.

Not being a pussy for one.
Two would be taking decongestants and ibuprofen if needed.
Seriously though its just a cold.

eat garlic, its antibacterial.
drink herbal tea - the more herbs the better
drink coca cola and eat pretzel sticks.
aspirin complex ((pseudo)ephedrine + aspirin)
to get sleep at night get some codeine
over the day you need something
expectorant.

you will feel good while your cold is gone in 5-7 days

going through a nasty cold myself atm

Please die. Just kill yourself.

Hot shower, large dose of bourbon (but don't get drunk) plus sleep. You'll sweat that cold right out. Oh and one more thing, quit bein a pussy.

Hot toddies always work for me, and you get drunk while you cure yourself!

Hot water, whiskey, lemon, cinnamon stick, dab o' honey and you're good to go.

Definitely garlic. Tablet Form or raw is even better. Just eat a bulb/swallow it or what ever. Crush it first though so the active ingredient allicin can be realesed. Gargle with salt water (naturally anti bacterial May help with infected throat). get some echinacea tablets. They boost your white blood cell count and help fight infections much faster.
herbal tea/water and orange or pineapple juice for vitamin c. Pineapple juice is good due to its bromalain content which is a good anti inflammatory especially if you're aching.

Shotgun, really clears the head if used correctly.

Homemade cough syrup, wine mixed with honey and lemon.

BOOZE.

Unfortunately you have aids

I do the following;

x1 Sachet of cold/flu powder with water
x1 teaspoon of cough medicine
x1 crushed paracetamol/cocodomol
x1 teaspoon of honey
x1 double whiskey

Drink whilst its really hot, and BOOM sleep time.

hahaha. alter du schmeißt viel zuviel scheiße ein.

Dubs is right. It's AIDS. Not HIV, but full-blown AIDS.

Try a hot fudge enema with a little whipped cream.

I find that walking outside, then start running in a random direction until you collapse works great.

Masturbating... i masturbate whenever i get cold or headache.

Cuz your body release that certain substance that makes you feel good and better.

Im not talking shit here

It works.

For about 12 seconds, yeah.

wat sollschn machn ? mussja wieder bessa wern

you're talking about endorphins i think.
or serotonin idk.
as other user said that only last about 12 seconds before you start feeling guilty

i guess you're new here?
so edgy kid

atomic spicy korean cup noodles

Chili's are supposed to be antibacterial aswell :)

Eat honey