I need to hire somebody to kill me...

I need to hire somebody to kill me, I don't want my parents to be sad from a suicide and would rather be killed by somebody.


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Thats fucking genius OP

I would imagine, if I were hired to kill a person my first go to would be to make it look like a suicide.

forreal though

Sounds like you failed at that too, better off kys; unless the time hasn't come for your killer to strike. Is he black?

If I commited suicide my family would not only never forgive themselves, but they would probably be super depressed. Ive already weighed my family down for 10 years from depression and suicide attempts, Im tired of living.

If you are so far gone you are probably dead to them anyway

do you even leave the house though? why would someone be angry enough with you to kill you? sorry, you're not going to just escape your depression even by having someone kill you. you're going to have to work hard at overcoming your depression, a good start would be counselling or calling a 1-800 suicide line.

Join the circus, seeing as you don't care if you die, become a risk taker, people love that shit.

I just am tired, my father is trying to get me to own a business that he is opening up with a friend(putting it under my name), I cant take it anymore, I cant keep failing my family, I want to die, im a useless waste of space

It's a goddamn paradox

i would join the circus if i could do something besides juggling 2 balls and failing at that.

you're probably just shitposting but if I were ever to be in this situation I'd get a gun, go to a dangerous part of whichever town I lived in and kill whoever tries to mug me or start shit.

pussy, they clearly have $ to spend. so spend it on getting a therapist.

i forgot to write in the op, anybody know where i can get somebody to kill me?

If thats the problem talk with them and tell them all what you think, dumbass.

yeah, what exactly have you communicated to your parents? write them a letter if you can't talk face to face

whenever i try to talk to my family and say I cant do something, my father goes ape shit, calls me a failure, and that i dont try anything. Ive been seeing a therapist for years, taken all sorts of meds, im just tired. If I cant find somebody to kill me I'm going to murder my father, my mother, then slit my throat.

Get . Out . Of. Home. And never return. Dont ever contact your parents ever again. The cause of depression are them. Find a new home.

maybe you should just stay alive then


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I charge $3500.00 plus travelling fees.

I'll make it painless and you won't even know when it happens. It'll be quick.

No face or head shots that will ruin your funeral viewing.

I'll make it look like a simple armed robbery and leave behind DNA from a nigger rapist to take the heat for your murder, so you'll be helping take a child molesting nigger rapist off the streets.

Contact me at my gmail

deadbedheadroses at geezmells

Peace.

You are going to fail at everything when you first start it. If you keep it up, after a certain amount of time, say doing it over 9000 times(about 10,000), you will become proficient at it. Noone starts off life being good at something, most may have a natural talent but it is normally limited to one task or set of tasks and I don't count natural talent as something that makes you "good" at something. Either way, you should atleast try.

Some rich bitches once said, if you want to succeed, try failing more often. IE, to me, it's a numbers game and the first 10,000 tries are freebies, after that, I'd understand more why you feel the way you do.

i think im also the problem, i dont do shit, im at home all day, im out of shape, ive been fat since ive been a child.

I have hated being alive since I was 10, every day is another struggle. I have had 4 suicide attempts, hospitalized all 4 times from injuries(2 of them I jumped off a 6 story building, other 2 I tried to shoot myself in the head with a gun but got caught).

I dont do anything, im just a whiny bitch, I cant do anything.

Join the army? Too fat and cant lose weight for shit.

Follow your passion? Yea I cant do shit.

Leave your family? They wont let me unless I can survive on my own.

What.

Then quit saying/thinking that you can't. You can't succeed if you never try and you won't try if you believe you can't succeed.

>What.
What part didn't you understand?

Do what your dad tells you.

Surely you cannot be serious.

The reason I say I cant is because whenever I do try, I get discouraged too easily if I dont do even a little bit well.

Maybe the bullying from being a kid has something to do with it, maybe that's just me coming up with more excuses.

If I dont find somebody in 3 months to kill me ill post on the boards my name, address, and where to find me.

>Surely you cannot be serious.

I think maybe you're on the wrong website.

This isn't a place for children, and don't call be Shirley.

Accidentally fall a cliff.
Knowing your loved one was murdered is worse. Especially if the killer isn't caught.

so do your TESL and teach english in a whole other country like Thailand, South Korea, etc. where girls go crazy for any white guy. sorry, your excuses aren't valid

>is worse than being killed

My father has treated me psychologically so bad thay i had suicidal thoughts and depression too. Since I found love and spend most of the days out of home I'm happier, when i can i will let my family with their own misery and cut off links with them. Find a job, even if its a shirry job, or study for finding a better job, and work hard your ass for a better future for you instead of being what your idiot father says you are.

im not white, im middle eastern so im sure people will be happy to have 1 less middle eastern in this world.

Don't call *Sup Forums shirley. Newfag.

You don't need to hire this done. Go get yourself a halfway realistic toy gun. Then go point it menacingly at people in sight of a cop. They have to treat it as real if there's even a chance.

Bonus points if you have a note in your pocket which seems to be giving you instructions to behave in this manner or else your family will come to some harm.

Triple bonus points if the BS note sets up someone worthless to take the fall, for example if their DNA somehow winds up on the note.

>being this retarded

hm, what if the police dont shoot me and tase me, or some civi goes hero mode, calls out my bluff, and kicks my ass?

Of course, your fall guy is liable to get wind of this and prepare his own note, which instructs HIM to prepare YOUR note, or else HIS family will come to harm. And it will of course have some of YOUR DNA on it. You gotta get up pretty early in the morning...

Just yell a bunch of "salami lickup, allahu snackbar" shit. They won't even stop to question why you are waving around a super soaker.

Ok... and why are you telling us this?

If you're looking to hire someone directly from this board, you're out of luck. It's rare that anyone with the disposition or know-how browses the board.

If you're looking for places where you may hire someone to carry out the hit, the deep web is your best bet. Look around for drugs and services markets, be prepared to pay a substantial amount - not because killing you is difficult, not if you're in the USA where guns are aplenty, but rather due to the risks the hitman will incur.

If you just want to vent, go ahead, it's free, but don't expect anyone to take you seriously. If you're just a kid whose life is looking like a stillbirth, there are better ways to tackle your problems than checking out.

Hire Mr. Happy

i dont know how to get into the deep web

Injure yourself enough to get put into a hospital, then ask the doctor to do it

Download TOR - The Onion Router browser.

Look faggot. Just go to whatever the nigger town or crack town is in your city, start some shit and let them kill you for free. Think like when in die hard where the guy goes into inner Harlem wearing the sandwich board that says "I hate niggers"

Hang yourself in the closet with a belt.

Everyone will think ninjas did it.

[email protected]
ill do it op , put the title of the email as (job vaccancie)

if u attempted suicide that much, you dont think it would appear odd to them a random perosn killed you.

That movie is inaccurate, You would get shot just for standing there, they wouldn't come bitch at you. It would only be because you are white, they can't read remember.

It would be white SJW cucks that would do the bitching up close and personal.

Also a good bet: find yourself a windy mountain road. Drive really damned fast on it with no seatbelt. Make sure you wipe out somewhere with a nice long drop, at the highest speed your vehicle can go. Wouldn't hurt to chug some booze before you go, too.

Net result: family will be angry that you got trashed, but forgive you. It will be a little sad, but not suicide-inspiring. Everybody's happy.

Trust me, you do 88MPH and shoot over a decent embankment, and you ain't gonna be chatting with Marty McFly. No sir.

Top kek

maybe ill just jump off a higher building next time

nigger you don't even have you hire someone, just suicide by police.

See, the problem with *real* answers is that they don't give you any wiggle room. You have to find some flaw in the suggestion, or just ignore it, because otherwise you might have to actually ... *gasp!* - admit that you don't really want to die.

So, why are we playing along with this fantasy, sparky? Slow day at the precinct?

i dont really want to die, ive always wanted to live on my own as somebody's punching bag, Ive been a punching bag to my family, strangers, and friends all my life, might as well try to make a living off it

>I need to hire somebody to kill me, I don't want my parents to be sad from a suicide and would rather be killed by somebody.
you are just a sissy ...

just get into a car crash

join the military

build robots

The butter knife edge in this thread. Just do it already man. Get higher.

probably some melodramatic fucking teenager with imaginary problems who's too much of a beta faggot to grow the fuck up

you don't have the balls to kill yourself nor hire someone to kill you. all you can do is make baby cuts on your skin and make shitty "oh i'm so depressed life is so sad" posts on the internet for the attention

why the fuck Sup Forums gives attention to these kinds of crap? are we in tumblr right now? Sup Forums in 2016 is basically tumblr right?

fucking sad....

like how the fuck is there even a "suicide attempt"?

how fucking hard it is to kill yourself if you actually want to. just climb a building and jump

"suicide attempt"= i'm a fucking stupid kid who thinks making cuts on my skin and taking sleeping pills with booze will kill me.

fuck off jesus christ this generation of retards gets on my nerve