Step 1: ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything

Step 1: ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything.
Step 2: feel better about your own pathetic life.

how does the hand feel

calloused

do you enjoy it?

Why should I enjoy it?

Do you have any social issues? Like aspergers or shit like that?

If you could go back in time what would you do different?

How much do you earn?

id give my all to you

can you cast fire magic?

Why are you such a faggot op

>Step 1: ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything

Why do you think you're unique? I'm a 30 year old virgin ,and my friend is turning 32 tomorrow he is also a KHV.

I have kissed a girl though, I just hardly remember, she surprised me in elementary school.

how the fuck does one become a 33 year old virgin?

i lost my virginity when i was 15. i had my first kiss when i was 11. seriously, you have to be Mask/10 or gay and socially retarded.

why have you not gone to an AMP? they're cheap and great

I have social issues. Whether they fit into the frame of any kind of psychiatric condition, I don't know. You are invited to skim the DSM for me.

Less work (including school, university and sports), more drugs.

Unemployed. Thinking about doing an MBA at the moment since I am unable to find a job since about half a year.

okay, so not everyone can be super fuckin sexy/10 like me, but 33 years and you can't even get to first base?

that's it, you're off the team.

I can. See that fireball in the sky?

That's just how the world is.

I'm certainly not unique; especially not on Sup Forums.

I am certainly socially retarded.

I have no idea what an AMP is.

>I have no idea what an AMP is.
Asian massage parlor.
You know all those shady asian sounding massage places all over the place? Bring about $150 and visit one.

isn't that shit illegal prostitution?

I fucked a guy in the ass does that make me not a virgin?

So what? You can't get in trouble. You just go in there, they put you in a private room and tell you to strip and get under the towel. Some hot asian chick will enter, tease you for twenty minutes, then ask if you want "more". If so, you tip them and get a little ride. Just don't explicitly say you're paying for sex and you can't get arrested, just say you were there for a massage.

How does this even happen? I get that getting sex is difficult for some people, but getting kissed? This is such an extraordinary amount of fail.

and all AMPs do that?

No not all. You will get the vibe from the girls though. Sometimes they will ask you. Start touching them during the massage and see how they react.

only if you're gay and it happened after grade school.

Yes. Get off my lawn!

I'm referring to making out or kisses in a romantic context. Not kisses as a greeting.

Some have been spooked by stings, and you won't get anything. They won't ask, and you won't ask either. Some will just let you jerk yourself off, or give you a handjob. Tip

>defining yourself by whether you get poossy or not

Jesus. Grow a pair.

Well uhh... I like women... But like I can't get my hands on any so I just fuck a friends nefew... In the meantime. But holy shit that sounds gay

Oh, you are American. I've been to a few in Europe and there was never any indication of prostitution.

Lol that's what I was referring to. Look I'm sorry to point out the fail but you need to just go out, find a girl, and kiss her. You don't want to die not having kissed one. You may get slapped or police called on you but it will be worth it.

I'm 22, handholdless, kissless virgin.
I'm on my way, OP. Any tips?

I was a virgin until 35, 36 now. If it's unwanted you can take care of the mental issues that cause you to be stuck here. You can seek help, but you must be willing to overcome the shame to tell a good psychologist (the ones that help with these specific issues). You're still young enough to turn this around and improve this part of your life.

I'm assuming OP lives in an uncivilized country with illegal prostitution, based on

What magic spells do u know

Not OP. Go, get out, talk to girls nicely, be pleasant. If you get rejected, bear it like a man and move on to the next girl.

FFS OP just go walk around in a busy place and ask 100 girls for a kiss. Just tell them some bullshit like you are having the worst day of your life, dog died, girlfriend left you. At least 1 of them will let you kiss them.

Won't assault anybody.

Get drunk, go out, hope you are not as autistic as I am.

Been to a psychologist for depression. So not a specialist in the whole social retardation issue.

Lived in Germany, Sweden and now the UK.

I can shoot white liquid from my wand.

This is your problem right here. You are afraid to even touch a girl for fear of being rude or assaulting them. You will never get pussy let alone a kiss if you don't take risks.

>Lived in Germany, Sweden and now the UK.
Then what the fuck is the problem? Just go get a hooker and learn sex is overrated.

I am not afraid to hit on girls, but just randomly kissing girls is something different entirely.

That's not what I meant, fagit. I was wondering what to train up. OP is clearly a wizard, and I needa know where to invest my skill points.

OP is afraid to touch girls. He's a lost cause I'm afraid. Not even a hooker can save him.

sounds gay and slightly pedo.

girls hang out at bars just waiting to get shitfaced and facefucked. you fuckin jackoffs couldn't get laid if you were forced to crawl naked across a mile of horny, lubed up, naked women.

Again. There is a difference between touching / kissing girls out of the blue and doing it after hitting things of in conversation.

Nah, most people don't actually know I'm autistic until they really get to know me and try to talk to me in private, you know, when I'm not reading them using algorithms, or when they try to make a joke, and I don't understand it.

I also have not yet found any kind of alcoholic beverages I would actually be interested in drinking. I have yet to try hard liquor, though, but IDK anything that tastes enough like mouthwash to entice me.

Also, I don't generally like to go outside.

Clearly. I never understood people who acknowledge that they have problems and don't take steps to rectify them. Beta men aren't non-normalfags, beta men are boys who are afraid to do what it takes to get what they want.

OP here. I for one love alcohol.

Quick question mate, are you interested in pursuing this aspect of life? I understand you have come to the conclusion that it's not meant for you, and that you are socially inept, but is there still part of you craving these things?

33 years old, and unemployeed?

Found your problem.

Maybe focus on getting a job, get a decent haircut, work out, wear nice clothes and try online dating if you're that inept at just talking to people.

You're not gonna land a girl with zero goals and jobless.

Priorities, mate.

You need to start with losing your fear of approaching and touching girls. Start by walking up to girls in a supermarket and lighgly tapping on their shoulders to get their attention. Ask them some bullshit questions about some food in their cart, or compliment them on their looks "hey, just wanted to ask you for your opinion on ... I was thinking of getting some myself, but I saw that you have some in your cart ... blah blah" just fucking do something man.

Ignore this retard, you don't pick up women at a super market, especially tapping them on the shoulder and asking for food advice. What the fuck do you do then? "Hey, thanks for the info on the mac and cheese, think we can date now?"

Kill yourself, virgin.

dude, it's called yukon jack perma frost.

it's fucking listerine flavored schnapps.

dude, you can pick up your brother's girlfriend at their wedding if you just try.

>33 years old, and unemployeed?

Recently. Last contract ran out in the end of May. Have been looking for a new job in industry for half a year before though. Anyway, MBA might be a good idea.

Furthermore, my clothes and haircut are fine and exercising is essentially all I do in my free time.

I am not one of the guys who hit on 20 girls in a night but during most night out, I was able to initiate conversations with at least one or two girls. The problem is that we never hit it off in any way because talking to me is as exciting as talking to Cleverbot.

>wedding
>girlfriend
It's time to put the dating sims away, user.

No there isn't. You obviously don't want to inappropriately touch someone the first time you meet them, but you absolutely need to get over your fear of approaching and innocently touching a girl if you want any chance of getting a kiss and later sex.

You do not touch a girl randomly in conversation. There is zero need to do so. Totally picturing you now full on groping some girl as you discuss the weather.

>compliment girls on their looks at the super market
"milady, you look dashing today as you shop for nourishment, if I may say so" *bows*

I know. But this is basically what this asshole was implying. Just find a girl and kiss her.

You fail to realize that OP is literally starting from nothing. If you are so afraid to even have a basic interaction with the opposite sex in a safe environment then it's a lost cause. I brought the supermarket thing up because where else is OP going to start? Going to a bar or club? Doubt it. OP is a social retard who needs to start off small.

you think I'm going to use some gay ass french word for future ex wife? no, thanks.

OP pls post a picture of yourself. I can't imagine how a 33 year old virgin looks like

Yea OK faggot.

So, by hitting on women in super markets randomly, he'll find his dream girl. You have zero experience with meeting or dealing with women.

He needs to do online dating or meeting like-minded people online and go from there. If he is socially awkward, walking around town meeting girls isn't going to work.

OP here. As I said, as long as I am reasonably drunk, I never had a problem about starting conversation. There is a difference between being shy / socially anxious and socially retarded.

have you ever touched your crotch area in public and became nervous that someone might have noticed?

I don't particularly dislike alcohol, as in ethanol, it's just that the drinks its in are usually unpleasant. Wine, for instance makes me sick, and beer taste like piss.

>are you interested in pursuing this aspect of life?
I am... maybe... but idrk, tbh.
I mean, there's a lot more to it, and I don't really wanna go off for ages explaining everything.
>you have come to the conclusion that it's not meant for you
I'm not yet sure if it's not meant for me. I mean, like I said I'm interested, but I have various concerns.
>and that you are socially inept
Eh, like I said, you really gotta actually talk to me to realize that. My complete crazy ass goals are more of a concern to most people than my inability to hold light conversation.
Although my exclusive interest in discussing specific things can annoy the hell outta people, unless they're also interested in it.

I will have to look into this.

Um no. Not hitting on girls. Just learning how to fucking interact with them at a very primitive level.

Face.

Agreed. The only acceptable scenario in which is okay to touch a girl mid conversation is when mucus starts to slowly drip out of her nostril and she isn't aware. Then, the decent thing to do would be to lick her nose, removing the mucus, and discreetly spitting it into your hand, then stuffing the saliva/mucus in your pocket for later. That's the ONLY case in which it's acceptable to engage in physical contact.

Body.

>compliment their looks
>not hitting on them
>ask for advice on food, tap them on the shoulder, be annoying
>not hitting on them
>primitive level
Ohokay.jpg

Are you mentally disabled?
It's not about finding his dream wife, it's about learning some basic social skills. Online dating won't help, because even if you have the best profile online, it won't help if you are socially retarded irl

aayyyyy 33, that's what I just got on my Empathy Quotient test

Don't worry I'm 21 year old kissless virgin but in a 3 year old relationship with a pony tulpa. I don't expect my life to be different from yours, except the fact that I am actually happy with her.

I have touched my crotch in public. And I am sure people have noticed. Should I care about that?

I actually had my fly open during a presentation in front of >200 people. So a shitload of people have seen me touch my crotch in that situation.

Are you serious faggot??? Are you fucking serious? You're at least 7/10

OK faggot captain SJW. I said lighgly tap on their shoulder to get their attention, not fucking grope them. I was just trying to tell OP how to get used to interaction with people. If you are telling me that you are afraid to even innocently tap on someone's shoulder to get their attention then you are the social retard here.

Im in love with best friend but, she's fucking my roommate. I kissed her and confessed cuz im a fag who fell in love. I dont know if to continue and try out a relationship or just say fuck it. What would you do?

OP you're good looking, maybe tan a bit more.

Easy way out of the autism is just say you're shy and slow to open up to people, or you have a hard time adjusting due to some past trauma in your life. Girls will understand, especially with a body like that. Be chill otherwise and confident, your looks will do the rest.

I'm serious. And my looks are plainly average. Else I would have gotten any sign of interest from females.

>SJW is now a common throw word like cuck
>Not touching a girl when talking cause, what reason is there for this again? Is suddenly SJW

What retard taps someone on the shoulder while talking? Are you even reading what you write?

Fucking summer faggots, really, read a book.

Look, the faggots posting on here are criticizing me for daring to suggest innocently tapping on a female's shoulder to get their attention to start a friendly conversation. I agree that online dating is a bad idea for OP. The advice in here is terrible.

Probably you just don't realise the signs they are sending you nigger.

Fuck you are so retarded. Go to bed downy.

you probably get lots of signs and you're just too stupid to notice.

it's a shame, but stupidity is the rule of the world. intelligence is the exception.

>should i care about that?
no. all it means is that you might have a problem with keeping intact and presentable within reason, though you are standing in front of a bunch of students. keep up the good work m'boy

Great reply, make sure you have mom print it out and post it on the fridge, you sure got me there.

During my early and mid-20s, I was thinking that every girl that smiled at me or played with her hair or whatever they were doing MUST be into me. When I stroke up conversation, nobody ever was. So there were lots of false positives.

What are you doing to change that? You're obviously unhappy

Average is better then half of the population. You got no excuse there. Maybe it's that you have too high of standards for girls you'd like to talk to? Maybe it's because you're going about this like girls are this thing for you to obtain, instead of realizing it's just another human with problems and baggage. Find someone that makes you smile, that you care about, don't think about the sex, just find someone to talk to. Or don't. It's not the worst thing to die a virgin. (..right? Idk..) just enjoy life if ya can.

Yes, a bunch of fucking niggers advising a social retard to harass women in public places, they will get him locked up. It's like 20 y/o virginfags advising a 30 y/o virginfag

So if OP is only able to interact socially when drunk then how does he even get comfortable with meeting and interacting with people IRL outside bars and clubs? Are you the creep going around awkwardly hitting on girls in supermarkets? Sounds like it.

First, I have to find a fucking job. Even though the problems are related.

Why didnt your parents love you

Lol this is part of the problem here. If OP thinks that he's harassing girls every time he approaches them then he will never get to first base.

By meeting them and talking online first, you autist. Get to know someone online, do a voice chat on skype after a while, ease his way in.

Do I have to hold your hand on relationships 101?

>Find someone that makes you smile, that you care about, don't think about the sex, just find someone to talk to.

That would also be a first in my life.