I need someone to talk to about a problem with my girlfriend that fucks me up bad.y

I need someone to talk to about a problem with my girlfriend that fucks me up bad.y

I've seen some fairly good advice here on relationships, so I come to you today to tell you about me and my gf.

>together since 4 years
>both 20 years old
>each others first serious relaitonship
>
Ok Sup Forums, here I go.

The Situation:
My Girlfriend is into music and playing guitar. She recently got to know a guy who works at the local music shop. They probably have a good chemistry togehter, you know, like, when you can just talk and have fun with someone with ease. She went to two concerts of him and a month ago I checked her phone. She was flirting with him on instagram, and on facebook his name was the most searched term in the last month. I also read a chat with her best friend where she asks my gf if that guy wants something from her, and my gf answered that he probably does. A week or so later when we didn't see each other she was on her phone the whole day every 20-30 minutes or so.

I confronted her with everything and asked her if she was texting with him the whole day, she answered yes. I told her she should fucking stop it. She said that i'm too jealous and don't want her to have male friends and that i'm insecure just because she doesn't know him for that long. I confronted her with his romantic interest, with the secret meeting, with the flirting, with the facebook search. I told her if that was what she regarded as a normal friendship that she should give me the OK to do the same with other girls. Well, she didn't want that and started crying

The last three weeks after that she's practically been on her phone 24/7, wich she usually isn't. Yesterday she acted really strange and I couldn't help but check her phone again.

She was texting with him the whole three weeks from morning till evening and bought concert tickets so they could go together next week, just the two of them.

Cont.

bump

break up faggot

I don't need to read any more. End it. She's giving him attention over you. You're still young, get out while you can.

Cont.
I read their whole fucking chat, and talked to her best friend this morning who told me she didn't think it was right what my gf does. I think my girlfriend isn't interested in sex or a relation with him, but in the thrill of meeting someone and getting to know them in that way.

Now, she didn't tell me yet that she's going out with him.

I don't want to break up in the next two months at least, but if it goes further with those two i'm going to do it.

Honestly, it's tearing me apart and i couldn't sleep the whole night. How do I confront her now? What she does is clearly wrong, her best friend who really supported our relationship offered to have a talk with her and said that it goes too far.

I already told her to stop it but she took it even further. I want to scream when I think about it.

Should I go on with the "you do it, so i can do it too?

Just have the whole talk with her again, and reveal that i'm a controlling faggot?

Just ignore her and go on with meeting women who are interested in me to make her jealous?

Tell her again to stop it and to threaten to break up?

Guys I need your fucking help here ;___;

you should break up

Sorry user, looks like you got cucked.

Not much you can do, either you do the same, which could make her fuck him or realise what she does to you, though I think the first is more likely.

Or breakup

not wanting your gf to flirt with other people 24/7 is not being controlling
maybe try discussing it again to see why the fuck she does it and if you don't get a satisfactory answer/explanation, you should probably break it up before you get even more hurt
fuck being with someone who doesn't care about you

do the same thing, women love being ignored

She doesn't seem to care what she is doing to you. You don't want someone like that in your life no matter how much you believe she might be worth.

She wants to be with e other guy. How many more confirmations do you need?

Women only jump ship when they have a sure thing.

You have two options;

1) Leave her NOW and let her try and ride this shit out feeling scared [this will get him laid], for which he won't respect her.

2) Get a female cool buddy and hang out with her. Basically find a new GF while still with her. this is turbulent and she'll try and take the moral high ground. Fight it out.

Either way, this shit is over. She's with you because there's nothing she has locked in that's better. If this guy goes away, she'll come across another.

relationships are about abiding to the same rules.

if you feel she's not abiding to your rules and she's not willing to change that, you will never be happy in this relationship.

break up with her. don't even argue. just tell her "you don't fit what i expect from a relationship".

do it while you still have your pride and before she actually cheats on you. 'cause it looks she will, if she hasn't already.

physically, because even if nothing happened yet by my standards and your own it seems she's already cheating on you right this moment.

ditch the bitch

shes taking the piss out of you m8

my missus wouldnt dare do this type of shit to me

man up bruvva, get rid

fuck her best friend

Make ZERO threats. Have ZERO "talks".

You explain to her that this dude, no matter how "friend" heis, is consuming her time and energy, negatively effecting the relationship. Tell her you don't like it and that it doesn't bode well for the future.

She will then make her choice [which she already has bro, if you didn't love her you'd see it] and you then leave her.

A few things:

- Never be controlling, simply have the control. You tell her how shit is and how it needs to change. The control is with the person that leaves.

-Never threaten; this tells her you really don't want to break up, encouraging her to push for the absolute boundaries you'll put up with.

Dump her, let he know you don't appreciate her disrespecting you buy going behind your back. Then, go out and fuck all the girls you want till you're about 23. Find a nice girl and settle down. Worked for me...

I like this. He's got good ideas and handles shit polar opposite of me. Explaining like he said that she doesn't meet you bare minimum standards is pretty fucking on-point.

I'm seriously playing with the thought of just contacting girls again who I know have had an interest in me just for hurting her

that's what i'm thinking. on one hand she clearly does care how our relationship is going, on the other hand she's just shitting on it.

2) seems the better option for the time coming. well, if i get through with the "you meet this guy, i meet other women in the same interest" she wouldn't have the moral high ground, would she?

the thought of her doing that turns my stomach, and makes me feel emasculated. problem with just breaking up is that I could do more than just walk away and I would have the worst regrets over that.

OP stop being a cuck and bang her friend now

basically been in this exact situation, its toxic, and will rip you apart before you know it, leave. now.

Finish wither, maybe it will be harmful but think in it,s pros. Ur young, in ur twntys get out fuck bitches and hope she gets pregnant when starts hanging with that worm its pretending her. Don't think much about it finish. Do not demonstrate feelings during the breakup and after that dissapear

>I would have the worst regrets over that.

You will have worse regrets if you don't make yourself be respected and end up being cucked. Trust me on that.

Back in the days, men could "enforce" these things. Nowadays we can't. Wether it's a good or a bad thing is irrelevant here. What's important is that -you- want something that -she- doesn't want to abide to. You can't force her to give you that. So you leave her.

Asking that the other doesn't flirt outside the relationship isn't unreasonable.

Respect and care for yourself first and foremost. Caring about your "regrets" for others should come way after.

Confront the both of them, change the locks on your door, dumpe her nudes, just get the fuck out of there

nah

fuck there is too much truth about this. I know that she cares about us, but it's just killing me that she would go that far. I would say she honestly thinks what she does is absolutely acceptable and that i'm in the wrong. yes, she's that retarded.

if I would leave her the choice, either go out with this faggot and never come back again, would that be overacting?

This guy knows whats up, do this.

you should have learnt the guitar or another instrument, and got with her interests to monopolize more of her time, this prick has capitalized on your failure to do so

i'm not even expecting her to not flirt outside of a relationship. that form of contact with the other guy, that investment in time and risking our relationship even if she knows she's killing me with it

whatever have fun being a cuck then

I usually never comment here.. but I have to tell you OP.. Break it up.. leave proudly and continue forwards.. this will tear you apart and it will ooonly and only damage you! she wont give a shit and neither will the other boy..


LEAVE

my Sup Forumsro, theres a double standard here, if you don't have the liberty to hang out and text with girls, why is she? Do what you gotta do, because to me it seems like shes scouting out for a potential new guy under your nose while she has you there for comfort and hasnt put herself in your position, dont play that fuckign game though, who can hurt whom... just start backing away my bruh, good luck

>I don't want to break up in the next two months at least ...

>Honestly, it's tearing me apart and i couldn't sleep the whole night ...


YOU ARE BEING INDECISIVE

DUMP HER AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

You actually naively believe that she still loves you?

So much this

She has already disregarded you and went so far as to arouse your suspicion (phone, etc.) You've been decent enough to confront her but she seems unapologetic. This kills the relationship. Be kind, be cool headed, but be resolute. Don't expect any fantastic breakup sex. Like other anons have said, you're young. If you're in the States, you can't even socialize in bars yet. If she's a musician, she can't be tied down at this age anyway. It'll be rough but you have to formally end it. Godspeed, user.

She's probably sucking his dick right now. Dump her, set his car on dire and fuck other girls

Thats game son....
i was in the exact same situation, but i was in youre gf's role...
she is just bored of you dude.youre too young anyway.
best bet is, confront her with it, demand things change. if they dont, just leave her. sure she will 100% fuck the dude. but honestly she will come running back. if she leaves you, its gg and you look like a massive faggot to youre entire social circle (which i assume atleast somewhat crosses over with youre gf). Relationships dead, she might love you, but she is bored of you...drop it...big deal lol leave like a boss.

i'm doing martial arts since 6 years. tried to get her into it and my other interests but she's become repelled of my hobbies and hates when i talk about them. I asked her to teach me some stuff on the guitar but she wouldn't

it may tear you up to leave her now BUT months down the road you will look back and be PERFECTLY HAPPY that you did!

same shit happened to me bro, i ended up breaking up with her over it.
They got together not long afterwards and it fucking hurt me heaps. however the best thing to do in mine and your situation is end it now to avoid drawing out the inevitable bro. it will suck at the time, but there are plenty of other fish mate.

>if I would leave her the choice, either go out with this faggot and never come back again, would that be overacting?

that's a threat. she won't respect you for it, and will resent you in the long run if she sticks around.

look man, i'm sorry, but everything already happened. you made your point to her. she kept doing it. at this point it's you who decide if you want to stay or leave. not her.

and of course it looks like she cares about you guys. she probably actually does. but not enough to listen to what you have to say. if it was really this innocent and insignificant why doesn't she just cut it off for the love of you ?

she's probably not a bad person. just a spoiled immature modern western girl. nothing worth damaging your self respect and honor over.

again, my advice: walk.

Don't "finish" with her just cease all contact. Do not respond to texts, calls or anything from her.

She has lied to you and generally disrespected you. This girl is not worthy of your time. Even her best friend sees that this is wrong, why are you so stupid as to continue with her. Even if she hasn't fucked anyone else then she has been unfaithfull in every other respect.

>it's just killing me that she would go that far


SHE OBVIOUSLY HAS MATURITY ISSUES

Step 1: focus on your life, your career, your hobbies, your friends. She should not be your priority, you dont owe her anything.
Step 2: you prob bore her, otherwise she wouldnt seek adventures like this, if step 1 isnt enough to fix this, invite her to do something new or special.
Step 3: if this doesnt help, stop investing in this bitch and get a new one, which is easy because you are an awesome bloke and many bitches like awesome blokes.

dump her buddy
she's gone
im sorry man

you walked out like a man. good job bro.

just start making youre own safety net. and when you have one or maybe 2 to fall back on just bounce.
bitches arent worth the time man, trust me, just grab the fucks when you can but dont put energy into that shit. the only thing that matters in life is yourself

>you prob bore her, otherwise she wouldnt seek adventures like this

not necessarily true. young chicks get bored of everything and have this "longing" for adventure and passion no matter what good things they have going on at the moment.

Fucking Hell Sup Forums has turned into an Agony Aunt

I know this fucking sucks op, but that is your first relationship. First relationships that last are harder to achieve than winning the lottery. What you need to do is nut up and leave her. She's been talking to this dude nonstop, making plans behind your back, and is calling you insecure terms to hide the truth. Calling you jealous is the easiest cop out because you obviously are, but that doesn't negate the fact that she still is chatting up with this dude.


What you need to do is dump her and start trying to fuck other bitches. Or if anything else, fucking just lie on Facebook. My life is awesome. Perfectly fine. Peachy. Your soon to be ex will be fucking livid. I mean, shes going to end up with that dude anyways. Do you want her feeling like she has choices in who she can see, or feel like a fucking loser who got dumped and had to settle for the new guy? She's going to dump you anyways, beat her to the punch and crush that bitches morale. Start talking to other honies in the mean time, and shit hit on her best friend.


Just make sure you hit it one last time before quitting it.

OP, you can't stay in this any longer, as long as you leave her, youll come out of this the best you can.
NOTHING and i mean NOTHING will make her love you.
You'll think what can I do to win her back, and you cant. Im sorry bro but you cant. Women are fickle creatures.
Find a new gf or friend or bang her friend / sister and end it.
If you don't. You'll be broken when this girl starts fucking the other guy.
Take the high road now or just quit her emotionally as best you can and have fun with other girls, THEN end it.
Just make sure you fucking end it.
You'll lose all respect for yourself if you dont. And you'll lose the girl regardless.
etc make a safety net to catch urself and then gtfo

We've always had a deep connection with our Sup Forumsrothers
although the problem is that we're far too fucking normie tier than we used to be.

You arent being controlling, you are just concerned for the relationship. I would honestly talk with her about it and say that you arent comfortable with what she is doing and that if it keeps up like this you will end the relationship. Just make sure you arent all angry to her and you should be alright.

Good luck Sup Forumsrother

It's not being controlling ....what's fair is fair ....if you aren't comfortable with what's going on between her and her friend and you've spoken with her about it but she disregards it and will be upset about you possibly doing the same thing with another female then you have a serious issue ...it isn't about control it's about mutual respect....sorry user in my personal experience you lay it all out on the table asap let her know it's not cool and if she refuses to change then it's over don't waste each other's time ...she already thinks it's ok what's happening and is taking time from your life ...I can't speak about whether she loves you or not..but I can say she doesn't respect you or the relationship ...and as fucked up as this sounds your lady friend is 150% to blame for this not her guitar friend....my $.02

true ... but we're still way more "real" on that kind of stuff than anything else on the web. except those "return of the kings" communities that are basically 99% deadbrain weight lifters.

that was my thinking, thanks man. I already started contacting old friends, but it just doesn't happen overnight

Dont fuck with other girls dude, because at least if you break off the relationship you can say you had the morale high ground

yes
it's cool, good luck on your journey Sup Forumsro

Just asked my girlfriend for a rape reinactment but then she told me she was raped as a child o fuck

Agree

need to work. think you got the answers to your question.

walk man. you'll thank yourself later. the choice you'll make will define your future relationships.

good luck.

>spoiled immature modern western girl
just incredibly immature

She has no interest in teaching you because she has no interest in you sticking around

Thanks for the good answers brothers and sisters. I'm crying like a baby right now. But i've realized how incredibly damaging my whole situation is with her right now and that it has to end one way or another.

I'm just overwhelmed by everything right now

OP out.

Even in the beginning, when we were so deeply in love she just wouldn't

Asked a girl for that and she told me how her mom was raped while growing up in Poland

I know the feel user

break up

Good luck user

> (You) OP Here

I know you want to leave her a choice. but she has made it brother. I'm not going to help you lie to yourself about what is left and I stand by my advice: ZERO threats, ZERO talks.

If I were you, i'd wait for a concert and move all your shit out. You can wait for her to get back on the couch, explain to her she's fucked up for the absolute last time. When she acts like it isn't a problem and you're an asshole, use that opportunity to explain that the reason she doesn't see the problem is why your done with her.

When was the last time she bought tickets or planned anything for you two to spend time together?

Also, MEN ARE NEVER JUST FRIENDS WITH WOMEN, EVEN IF THE WOMAN THINKS THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS.

This shit is over.

This shit is over.

This shit is over.

This shit is so over, brother. I wish I knew where you were so i could come slap you around and shake some fucking sense into that scared little brain of yours. You aren't as weak or as foolish as your thought patters are tending.

this user right here holds the truth

Fuck what anyone else thinks or is saying about you, this isnt about anyone else its about you having respect for yourself. We've all been in your position even the faggots on here saying youre a cuck hur dur no bitch aint ever done it on me! As soon as she knows the other guy is a sure thing shes gone brother so i would advise you to jump before youre pushed. Dont give her any respect by explaining why or showing emotion for her even by getting angry, its over we're done and walk away. Cut all contact with her, if stuff has to be returned get a friend or family to do it. Hindsight is a motherfucker and id love to be writing this so my 19 year old self could see. Best of luck with it and for your future brother, its a long life and bitches arent worth the headache

There's a reason the lyric is

"I got 99 problems and a BITCH AIN'T ONE."