Pretty weak OP story imo. Get over it or call it off, dwelling wont help you. Life’s too short.
My heart break.
When engaged to my current wife (who was 18,000 miles away a the time) I got another girl pregnant in response my fiance aborting a[our] child from a visit. I obviously didn't handle her news well and went into a rather bad downward spiral.
The other girl decided she would keep the kid to try and force me to stay with her. I had made it clear from the get-go that I was only a temporary indulgence.
Two years later: my wife, a very conservative Asian I have two kids with, let me see my "other" daughter once, she was a tad over 2 years old (wife preggo with #3).
Didn't go over well when I asked to visit again in the future. Finally after four years I was ready to put my foot down on seeing my other daughter who deserved a dad. The threat of divorce was worn out.
I'm ready to tell the mom this, but she asks me to let her at-the-time boyfriend adopt since they're engaged.
Destroyed me, sobbed for a week. I didn't want to lose my daughter, had a stable income (versus her tattoo artist fiancé) and a genuine desire to be the dad my daughter deserved. Also believed she deserved more than a part-time dad.
Hardest decision of my life. I asked the mom what's going to happen when she gets divorced in two years? She said it wasn't my business and unfair of me believe that. Based on my visitation history I would more than likely have lost in court, so I capitulated under the belief that she deserved a full time dad.
In the year since they got married, I signed the papers and finished up with the courts... I annually checked her name in public records to see if everything was ok. Sure enough one year after marriage I see she was arrested for domestic violence with children.
Fast forward another year and now she's divorced. My daughters life is even worse now.
And you're pissed about a g/f cuddling some dude?
