ITT: Stupid shit you did or believed as a kid

ITT: Stupid shit you did or believed as a kid.

Used to be a hardcore pyro would light shit on fire all the time. Then one day i lit a pen on fire and lets just say burning plastic and ink hurts like a mother fucker.

Used to think that vaginas only had one hole. Women pissed and sex from the same one

That gif makes me uncomfortable for some reason

My dad explained to me that the pussy and asshole were at the same place, so for years I thought the pussy and asshole were one in the same and that babies came out of the ass. Luckily I was corrected soon after and didn't hit puberty in the age of pornhub. I would have been sooo confused

I used to think all races were equal.

God

also believed this. in addition, i assumed the vagina was physiologically in the same place as the penis, as in up and pointing out of the crotch.

so in a way the opposite of

found the edgelord

chocolate milk came from brown cows and veal grew on trees

when I was like 3 or 4 and my mom got pregnant, I took it upon myself to get everyone in the house to "vote" for whether or not the baby would be white or black. i grew up on a military base where all of the blacks I encountered were decent human beings, which sorta explained my naiveté

I use to believe in santa

use to believe the world was a good place

>Stupid shit you did
I drew a penis on a girls cast in permanent marker, she had to wear it for 3 months but she put tape over it after about a week

Nah; he's right here

this so many holes burned in shirts

kek, I bet your dad thought this was hilarious
>or maybe not

brown eggs come from brown chicken
and white eggs come from white chicken.

and ananas/pineapple grows on trees...

I used to think that the cartoons that I watched lived inside my tv and one day I almost broke the tv screen trying to set spongebob free.

when I was 7 i used to believe that money literally grew on trees. this lasted for 2 weeks until someone corrected me.

When I heard about this thing called the "Super Nintendo" that was going to come out in a year or so, I thought that you would be able to put NES games into it and it would magically make the graphics better.

Did you try to pay for shit with leaves.

same

that i could gain the power to read minds or look through things.

That women pee from where you fuck them.

kek

>we convinced my 7 year old sister she was chinese

there are 5 of us in our family. she read somewhere in a book that every 4th kid born in the world was chinese. she was the 4th kid. she believed it for about 2 months until she went to summer camp and was made fun of.

kek

I thought we are all somehow connected to each and every species alive on the planet. When each organism corresponding to your existence died, then you died. It didn't last long, because a day later I realized how many species are endangered.

When I was really young, I heard the word "Breadfruit" but had never seen one.. somehow I began to believe that bananas were members of the breadfruit family and that they were really made out of soggy bread.

Was terrified of the color green because I associated it with aliens and had a crippling fear of aliens.

Also had this weird tic where I would have to put equal amounts of food on both sides of my mouth.

Also also if I was watching something scary, I had to exhale all my breath and not be touching anything when I looked away from the screen, so the "evil" wouldn't come to the real world.

None of this was triggered by anything as a kid, I just did and believed weird things and was super scared of shit. It was really hard to break the habit of exhaling, & I still do it by accident sometimes. I got over being scared of everything at least?

Don't know if any of you fags ever did light as a feather, stiff as a board but I believed it back then and I still believe it.

That reminds me in gradeschool I moved to a different town for a little bit, I told all the kids who were awestruck by the new kid that I knew how to write Japanese. I literally just drew a bunch of lines that intersected and made it look oriental. Those fucks never found out. After I did that the same day, I shit you not one of the 8/10's broke up with her boyfriend and asked me out. Bitch liked my scribbles I guess.

someone called me a fag and it was very hurtful

Dude fuck Aliens they still scare me.

When the Looney Tunes would be holding a large stack of items, and then added a feather to overcome the threshold of what the person carrying could hold, i would think they had really heavy feathers and didn't get the comedy behind it

pyro kid reporting in, 20 years ago, I almost burn my house. also used to set the dry stuff near the beach house of my grand father, let the fire spread a bit and then rushed to put it out with my brother, then set on fire a new spot.

Was little kid in new school decide im gonna be a hoss and sit by myself during lunch. Didn't know about assigned tables get bitched out by kitchen lady for breaking the rules.

I would hold my breath around retards because I thought it was contagious

FBI here: keep this shit coming. i need to whack my donkey

was told at a young age the old adage that a tornado "sound like train."

every time I heard a train whistle, I would run to my mom and hold her until the train noise passed.

i truly believed that the pokemon in my pokemon red game for original game boy were alive , same with tamagochis, digimon, all that shit

For the first 13-14 years of life I didn't realize cum had a smell. I would just jack off, wipe that shit off on something and go about my day. Turns out everyone used to think I smell like cum.

You get it

kek. i also had a bunch of "cartoons are real" beliefs.

Was doin a project onetime in 7th grade with gorilla glue, the little jar , at my house I pulled the cap off that has the brush connected to cap and for some stupid fucking reason I lit some that was oozing off the brush and it lit and I panicked and dropped it and it went into the jar and it lit floor on fire everyone in my house was freaking out. Such kek

shut up

i did the same

When I was 10 I was ultra introverted and socially awkward and had a friend who was even more so. Everyday on the playground we'd talk and eventually we talked about our experiences discovering sex and porn. We'd always talk about it in full detail and I'd always get a boner just thinking about it. We talked for a while about blowjobs and wanting to see what they were like. We joked about sucking each others dicks a few times and then we actually started to consider it. Finally, one day I'm over at his house which is close to the school playground. We both ride our bikes there and walk over to a sort of "room" underneath the playground. We both pull down each others pants. One of his balls was bigger than the other which was weird but whatever.Before I know it I'm sucking his cock. Then he sucks my cock. We both agree that it feels good. This isn't the last time. We do it several other times in his room and I even try to put it in his ass one time but he stops me. Soon after that I moved several states away and never saw him again. We used to talk on the phone a lot but we haven't talked in ages. This really did happen. I'm much older now and I can confirm that I'm definitely not gay. That was just an experimental thing at the time and we didn't really know any better. Do I regret it? partially yes but I'm also kind of glad it happened.

I actually thought I could fly, this is because I had a dream about me flying that felt so real that I actually believed it. Then when I tried it "again" I just couldn't fly again so I thought maybe my powers need to recharge. Maybe they are still recharging and it all wasn't a dream afterall, I don't know man.

I thought I could get cancer if I jizzed and didn't clean my dick right

You aren't prepared for the staged invasion coming soon then(;

>sucked cock
>"I'm not gay guys"

Makes sense.

Believed:
>Pokemon are real, as evidenced by how many animals are in the world
>Mortal Kombat is Chinese history
>If you're nice to women, they'll like you
>Every man *should* be open to dating fat women
>You should try to make friends and be social
>Christianity is truth
>McDonald's actually has good food
>Thunder is angels in heaven moving furniture around
>Africa's a pretty great place
>Hollywood Video and Blockbuster will always be there
>My family actually loves me
>I'll get married and have kids someday
>being an adult will be great!
>The sky is actually the roof of a shoe-box, and the stars are holes in said shoe-box
>BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY
>Atlanta's a wonderful city to live in
>"rape" means getting stabbed

Yeah I know that's sound like total bullshit but it was experimental. And I didn't have any friends who were girls at the time so that was the next best thing.

Nah i dont give a shit about an invasion because thats not how it would go down. You think we are even gonna have a fight? They would just glass us from orbit or gas the whole planet. An Alien encounter would be a sudden terrifying happening.

Yeah I'm messing with you. I have had almost the exact same experience and I'm straight.

Used to think my heart would stop if I fell asleep with my hand on my chest. Don't know why

You sucked a dick and liked it. Your gay m8

Remember back when you first started jacking it and not even cum would out. I thought cum was supposed to be clear and that all porn was just stupidly fake.

>angels moving furniture
>sky shoe box
This is cute. Might pass that to my kids.

Fucking thunderstorms would scare the shit out of me would hide in the basement and turn up the TV real loud to block out the thunder. Now i love storms.

pls don't

Oh dont give me that shit. Its people like you who suck the fun out of things let me guess your not gonna tell your kids Santa's real to.

I've already decided that I'm not having kids, kek. Getting a vasectomy the first chance I get...might have to go to Thailand for it though.

If I were to have kids or even nephews/nieces who asked me about it, I'd absolutely tell them Santa doesn't exist. I'd be that "one uncle" relatives don't want their kids around, because I tell it like it is.

>My mom says the Easter Bunny hides candies in eggs!
>Listen here, you little shit...

>Johnny frantically runs a couple blocks home with tears running down his face
>He bursts open the door as his mother and father sit on the couch watching television
>"MOM, DAD, I GOT RAPED."
>his father replies "WHAT THE FUCK, AND YOU'RE BLEEDING TOO?"
>"YEAH LOOK I GOT RAPED." Said johnny pointing to a stab wound on his arm.
>Still frustrated, but now puzzled his father asks "What exactly happened?"
>"I was at the playground, I fell down and this big stick raped me!"
>His father sternly looks at him "Do you mean someone put that stick in you?"
>"No I told you I fell on it!"
>"Johnny."
>"Yes?"
>"Fucking kill yourself you little faggot."

I was standing on a rope trying to lift myself up so that i could fly.. fucking genius.

Same... actually

Why though what pleasure do you get from being an asshole?

Fucking kek, lmao. But yeah, that's what I was originally told. In fact, an aunt of mine referred to sex as "sticking" a girl.

>I miss the 90s.

No pleasure, I just feel the next generation(s) should be more informed and better suited for the real world than the current and previous ones. Each generation is meant to be an improvement on the other, and we can't do that if we have future generations believing in fairy tales.

I said it's going to be staged. It Isint going to be real lol holographic or someshit.

...

My grandfather used to make clocks and watches as a pastime and I was always intrigued by the noises of the gears, especially when they were first being fit and tested before he applied proper amounts of oil, sometimes they would squeak or squeal so when I was a child the plumbing used to make these odd noises when the boiler would kick on, and the only thing I had seen that made those types of noises were the gears in my grandfathers shed, aka papa's workshop (also his secret stash of scotch was there, tell no one) so I used to imagine the walls were filled with clockwork gears, I used to believe other peoples houses whose walls didn't make noises like that had better oiled gears. I was 10 when they re insulated my room and I found it it was just pipes, my dad ruined a perfectly good imaginary world.

>Pic related.

islam

i was the exact same lol

>I believed all adults were mature and knew a lot, i was retarded as a kid apparently.

Its those beliefs that create joy though. Why rob a child of that fun until they grow older and grow out of it. Santa, the tooth fairy all create happiness in kids lives.

Huh
Imagine if you were the person I was talking about
Yeah. That'd be weird...

hey you actually sound like you have OCD compulsions that comes on with anxiety.

Same, I quit a job where I worked night shifts alone because I was too scared of aliens attacking me.
I'm am idiot.

They create a headache for the parent(s), especially Santa. Every year, I'd have to compete with some bearded fatass for the appreciation of my kids, with me going out to Toys R Us or wherever, and buying some expensive gift so they won't start killing cats and such throughout the rest of the year. Fuck that! My kids are going to know right from the start that all that is fluff, and that they should have more faith in science, not pixie dust.

That is of course, if I were to have kids...which I won't.

I use to think I was gonna be a super hero when I was older

Bro, me too, and in the dreams i kept needing to jump to fly, like i kept needing to get a running jump to take off, start doing it IRL, probably looled like a fucking tard... shit was weird

As a kid, for some reason, I thought the tooth fairy would take my arms if I put them under the pillow. I don't know what made me think this, since I slept with my arms under my pillow pretty much all the time. I just somehow convinced myself that if I slept with my head resting on my arms with my pillow over them, I would wake up in the morning with bloody stumps.

I used to think the same thing...What the hell happened to you man, I had such high hopes for you...Fuck.

>My name is Jacob Lawrence
>HIck dad
>speaks Really fast
>I hear Jacobblawrence
>Get to Kindergarten
>Talking about Middle names
>say my middle name is "Blawrence"
>get into an argument with the teacher
>keeps saying no honey its probably "Lawrence"
>I had a major meltdown
>Mom has to come to school and sit down and explain that my name is lawrence

When I was a kid, I used to randomly see this guy in a trench coat and a hat (possibly fedora) walking around my house from time to time. I could never fully make out his appearance, just a silhouette.

E U P H O R I C

He gave me candy and when I woke up my butt hurt.

Great so where is your kid gonna get his moral compass from? Whats stopping him from killing cats when he realizes the world sucks?

kek same here

That the races were equal and blacks really were just victims of racism and oppression.

lol that teacher saved you from sounding like a hick for the rest of your life though.

why stop at cats?

Kek

I believed that Jerusalem was at the centre of the world, like in the south Atlantic, for absolutely no founded reason

Holy shit I'm that kid
I still do it though

From me. I will teach him/her the right way to live, based on morals and ethics, by exposing them to various forms of philosophy (Greek, Buddhism, etc). Of course, as an adult, they'll do whatever, but I can only trust that they won't go on a shooting rampage. Not that they'd need to, since I would ensure that they'd be living good futures, having great grades, getting into the best schools, and having skills/goals. I'd be like a Tiger Dad, with of course, a Tiger Mom.

This is the info of a rapist douche
Let's raid him

bbbbb

I used to binge on dragonball z back when it was on cartoon network, and no, not that faggot "kai" shit. The original, and I had this friend of mine where we would frequently discuss how a human being could make a kamehameha one time in their life and immediately die afterwards. Unfortunately I never made that happen, but used to flex and cup hands trying my fucking damndest to make it happen. Cringing so hard at myself.

I used to believe in the Lechuza

I also thought this. Never knew

I believed that one ball hung lower than the other one because I jerked off, I thought I had messed up my balls and I couldn't even tell anyone because masturbation was a sin. Guess I just assumed they were supposed to be equal and extrapolated from there