I'm drunk, I've realized no one gives two shits about me, my mother is dead, my wife is a dirty fucking NEET...

I'm drunk, I've realized no one gives two shits about me, my mother is dead, my wife is a dirty fucking NEET. Best way to off myself on a budget?

Keep pussying out on train tracks.

Stop being a pussy faggot and let's get drunk.

What ya drinkin?

>my fuckin face when captcha was trains

Started with Henry's Hard Soda mixed with Jack.

Now just Jack and Coke.

>on a budget
Slit wrists, I'd imagine.
For the purpose of clarification, you're going to kill yourself because your mother died, which happens quite often to most people, and because you chose a shitty wife, which you are under the impression is unchangeable?

I'm just kind of done, dude.

Obviously not or you'd be bits stuck in the train tracks right now.

Quicker to lay my head on the track and wait. Before the train gets to me I pussy out.

Either I don't actually want to die or I'm unable to ignore my own reflexes.

There's your problem. Never choose Henry's over Jed's.

You sound like a Nancy boy, but still, don't kill yourself over it. Call me a whiteknight all you want, but killing yourself is the faggots way out.

Do you want to be remembered as a faggot?

Either way, if you wanted to die truly then you would be dead already is the point.

If it helps it's a double of jack and two Henry. Currently on my fourth.

check'd and must be true
guess all i really want and need is some recognition

I wasn't always a sad piece of shit, you know.

I was an E-6 in the Navy, made rank in 4 years. Cryptology specialist. Gave it all up to take care of family when they got sick. Left the woman I think I really love because I felt like I was a trainwreck at the time. Ended up with someone as emotionally mature as a five year old.

Death looks like the quickest way out. The fucking highlight of my day currently is playing a fucking MMO and sleep.

Man, i don't know your life or anything but why not just pick up and leave?

Have you hit "fuck it" yet?
Then try to get there.

Headphones helps. Just lie on the tracks with some loud tunes and youll never see it coming

why don't you move away first. go somewhere exotic or something. beg on the streets if you have to. you can always kill yourself later if that doesn't work out.

Because out of every single person in my entire fucking life, my Nana is the only one who has EVER rooted for me.

Mom always said I ruined her life. Dad left. Grandpa wanted me to be him when I grew up.

But Nana was always there to cheer me on, tell me I was doing the right thing. If I wasn't here, she'd be alone. Her actual son, My Uncle, is a piece of shit, and her husband and daughter are dead.

I owe it to her to take care of her til she kicks it. Plus, just leaving would make me into my Dad. I refuse to be him.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, don't forget that OP. I can't decide what you'll do with your life, but I can tell you it's not worth it. You only get one life, don't waste it. That's all

I think I need to just get back into the Navy to be perfectly honest. I felt alive when I was there. Felt like I mattered.

Man, i don't know your life or anything but why not just die??

So you've got a fairly strong reason to stay alive then, just tell yourself to better your life for her.

Then do that, only you can write your story

Not to sound like some tumblrite, but you seriously sound like an over-priveledged kid who's life isn't going the way you expected it to, so now you want to kill yourself.

Get the fuck over it. People die, be happy your grandmother is even still alive while your mother isn't.

Life fucking blows for most people, always has and always will. Find some shit that makes you happy. For me it's my dogs, my kayak and fishing. As well as getting obnoxiously hammered 6 out of 7 days a week.

Once you stop being a little bitch, life gets much better.

I ask myself that every single fucking day I wake up. I keep pussying out. Heroine overdose keeps looking better. So does a 00 round to the mouth.

I pay her bills, buy her groceries, talk to her for hours a day, keep her out of an old folks home because I know her Son would put her there given the chance.

I suppose a little background is needed.

>born
>dad bounces
>mom immediately freaks
>grandparents step in
>grandpa raises me like he is trying to clone himself
>grandma lets me be me
>usual shit
>teased for being fat
>beat up because i think im goku
>put in boxing immediately
>never lose again
>join navy at 18
>get out at 22 to take care of dying grandpa (only dad I ever had)
>now taking care of grandma
>along the way lost actual love of life
>settled for NEET
>mom died
>drink a lot

My life in a fucking nutshell, Sup Forums

Well, I am white.

I guess what made me happy was being on a ship. Being needed. Being useful. Repairing equipment and making people laugh.

I was never a super good leader, but I always felt necessary when it came to my men, I guess.

E6 cryptologic rate ehh? I'm a Navy fag, currently doing some time as a crypto rate, I'm loving it. Being honest, I may make it my career. If you were a CTI, CTM, CTR, or CTT, I can see why you hate life. But hey, at least you weren't an IT? Look man, maybe it's cause I'm in and the constant drilling in our heads of always watch out for your shipmates and everything, is it possible for you to get professional help? Or any of your buddies from your time of your service to help you out or talk to?

Shit dude what are you expecting out of life? If you want better, you gotta do better and push harder to rid your life of godawful shit that is making you feel like killing yourself. The only person that can make change in your life is you. You obviously have reasons to live at the moment so while those reasons exist you need to make the most of them because someday they might not exist any longer and you'll have to really face the world on your own two feet. If you want to die, just fuckin do it. No use piddling around with your dick for a couple of years just to do it when your grandma kicks off. If you want life to be better, and you want to make her happy (because seeing you in a good life surely would make her happy), then make some positive change.

I miss my shipmates back on Gary man.

I was the OT LPO. My guys looked to me for guidance. Everyone there was my brother from combat to engineering.

I was a CTT and probably the best fucking operator in all of SDNB. When I was on watch everyone fucking knew they could sleep easy.

These days I look at my NAM and SW and keep thinking I could have done more.

Fuck.

I wish my family didn't mean so fucking much to me.

Have you tried Overwatch?

Not yet, no. Probably gonna buy it and play the fuck out of it.

Just to piss off my NEET useless tumblrina wife.

Well man, as a CTN, I'll never see a damn ship, both a blessing and a curse, because I want to go so bad, I think it would fun and awesome, but also I'll never have to dreal with the family issue nearly as bad. Yes, my family may be across the US, but that's it. Call up some of those brothers and see if they can help you man, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to be able to help their old LPO and, hell, maybe some of them are Chiefs, depending on how long ago you got out, I know I'd be.

Ship life is a life worth living.

Sailors belong on ships. Ships belong underway.

That shit gave me purpose, gave me life.