Ask a mormon anything

ask a mormon anything
yesterday's thread did ok

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youtube.com/watch?v=qBlwxqqAprQ
lds.org/topics/translation-and-historicity-of-the-book-of-abraham?lang=eng
youtube.com/user/millerreportus
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Have you seen the episode of South Park that makes your religion look absolutely ridiculous?

I saw some of it.
But really any religious belief looks ridiculous if you look closely and ask the right questions.

how do you suggest I convince my uncle to fuck me?

>But really any religious belief looks ridiculous if you look closely and ask the right questions.
Aint that the truth.

i dunno
get him drunk i guess
us mormons have no experience in that area, fortunately

he doesnt live near me and we only talk online. please help me?? I want his cock up my faggot hole

Even atheism to be honest:
Everything magically bursted from nothing
People should do the right thing, despite there being no actual reasons to
We're better, because we don't preach our beliefs. Now listen to me lecture you about atheism for an hour.

Submarines?

if he wants to give you the d, he'll give you the d
you cannot force the d

What about them?

are mormon girls kinky? heard they dont shave their pussy

Do you really believe White people founded America and made there stake in Bronson fucking Missouri?
Why does the CIA hire you like exclusively?

Does it bother you that smith claimed to translate the BOM from ancient tablets without using a single word of his own, yet he used an idiotic imitation of 16th century english, included words like "adieu", and copied chunks of the king James version into it verbatim, errors included?

seconded

By idiotic I mainly mean saying "behold" 15 times a page. When smith was liquored up and feeling awesome "behold" clearly his word of choice.

not unless they're married to you, but if they are, from what ive heard, shit goes down in ways you never imagined
no, because they don't have sex outside of marriage, so theirs no reason for them to make there vagagay look good.
I don't quite understand your first statement, but the CIA probably hires us because patriotism is a big theme with our church. Plus we aren't promiscuous, so honeypots wouldn't work on us.
He probably just wanted it to sound similar to the Bible.
Show me where it says adieu, read it multiple times, don't remember that bit.
Well, I mean, maybe because part of the tablets were supposed to be the bible, so it makes sense that on occasion it would be quoted.

You do realize the Mormon religion is a scam and that Joseph Smith isn't a prophet, right?

>if he wants to give you the d, he'll give you the d
you cannot force the d
This is true mormon wisdom

Does it ever depress you that we still haven't found any swords or armor or shields or pots and pans or houses or chariots or anything else from all those massive armies and ancient cities that used to fill up the American continent?
I've heard people joke that the world's most depressing job must be a mormon archaeologist.

3rd Nephi contains direct word-for-word passages from Matthew.

Yet Joseph Smith "corrected" these EXACT passages in Matthew in his "inspired" version of the bible.

How can you trust a man who legitimately steals passages from the KJV bible and then has the audacity to say those passes were mistranslated in the bible? If they were mistranslations, surely he would have caught it before he stuck it in the BOM.

Basically how does it feel to be cucked by a disgusting pedophile pervert who died nearly 200 years ago? I mean godDAMN that's the cucking of all time.

what are you gonna name your planet when you die?

Hey, why don't you shut up with those dubs and shove then up your ass? His beliefs make him happy and you have to belittle them on an imageboard in his own thread? You must be a huge faggot

The was a lot to be beholding tho
Yes, a religion where it's members make no money from church work, where all the church's money exclusively goes to people who need help, or spreading the word of christ, a religion where people regularly spend 2 years of their life on spreading it, and where it's members are renowned for being hard-working, kind, patient people, is a scam.
You got us alright.

What is your temple name?
Are you wearing magic underwear right now?
Does it bother you that God doesn't listen when women talk to him, or does it make you feel powerful thay he will only listen to men?

youtube.com/watch?v=qBlwxqqAprQ
//

post some wins of mormon hairy pussy if you got any OP

I tried atheism. Didn't quite work out for me, seeing as though I was experiencing a paranormal thing. The only way I was able to fight off demonic attacks was to pray to God. I've became a Christian since then.

That get's explained in the end of the book, when a massive war wrecks everything's shit.
There was literally nothing left, not to mention metalworking wasn't very good in that area.

Earth.
I'm too lazy for anything elaborate.

Joseph Smith was called a prophet, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Demonic attacks? Care to elaborate?

Well atleast I'm not a heretic.
So I got that going for me.

My temple name is Eduardo.
No, my magic underwear is locked away in a safe deep underground.
yeah sure why not

>Everything magically bursted from nothing
what?
>People should do the right thing, despite there being no actual reasons to
that isn't stupid maybe you feel unconfortable with that but you know
the world is unfair

no
porn is for lil biches

the world is unfair
because people are mostly dicks
which is what makes GOOD people so precious

so?

>He probably just wanted it to sound similar to the Bible.
>Show me where it says adieu, read it multiple times, don't remember that bit.
>Well, I mean, maybe because part of the tablets were supposed to be the bible, so it makes sense that on occasion it would be quoted.

Nope. See, Smith wasn't like the writers of most of the bible, who wrote in their own words a divinely inspired message. Smith claimed that he was translating a text, and that every word literally appeared before him in the hat via the urim and thummin.

So if you accept that he was "trying to make it sound similar" or that he just picked up his bible for convenience sake, you have to acknowledge that he was lying about how he got the words he wrote.

Which he was.

For example, he copied this passage from the KJV= from Isaiah 2:16 as follows `And upon all the ships of the sea, and upon all the ships of Tarshish, and upon all pleasant pictures.' The problem here is that the word `pictures' should be translated as `ships'. The KJV translators made a mistake, but Smith claimed his words were transcribed from the glowing words of God himself.

Adieu is in Jacob 7:27.

I would hear demonic voices. I thought someone was outside my window pulling a prank at first, but when I checked, no one was there and it was 3am in the morning. This happened for a few days and I figured the only way to silence those voices was if I turned on my fan. Which I do every single night since then. So nothing happened for a while. Then I moved into my new place and that's when stranger things started to occur. I still had my fan on to block out the demonic voices, but now they were attacking me during my sleep, leaving me scratch marks(and I wear PJ's, so there's no way I could have scratched myself anywhere on my body), I would fight this off, trying to get out of bed, seeing shadowy figures roam around my room, so I shouted Jesus and they disappeared. It happened again the next night and I called out Jesus's name one more time, they disappeared. The following night I prayed to Jesus. They didn't bother me. I got myself a cross to sleep with every night, just in case I forgot to pray. It has helped me keep demons away ever since then. A demonic attack is very frightening and I wouldn't wish anyone to go through what I went through.

>when a massive war wrecks everything's shit.

That's not how archaeology OR war works, friendo. That's the answer they give to babies, you should see if they have a more grownup one for you.

Wit, so your telling me a human being can fuck up?
Wow, it's almost like to err is human or something.
Maybe Joseph saw what he needed to see. Maybe if someone else used the urim and thummin, they'd see something different.

Does it every bother you that the Mormon test of truth is so utterly and completely illogical?

How do you know the Book of Mormon is true?

It is true. So you ask God to show you it is true. If you ask rightly, he will show you it is true. If he does not show you, you did not ask rightly.

What kind of test leaves open only one possibility?

Answer: a test for saps.

>because people are mostly dicks
that is just one o the reasond faggot
cancer
death
old age
aids
unavoidable sadness
work
and everything
even good retarded people, like you

I made one of these threads about a week ago. You have an other mormon to help

Do you even war bro?
The war literally had almost no survivors.
Women and children were forced to fight.
If you could stab, you fought.
It's a wonder anyone survived at all.

Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure the test is literally "Ask god, if he says no, you done goofed."

>Wit, so your telling me a human being can fuck up?

I'm telling you a human being can lie to you, and the proof is irrefutable that smith did exactly that.

If he just fucked up, he'd have missed some commas here and there, left out a few words, spelled some shit wrong.

But he told you he got the words from the glowing urim and thummin in the hat, bro. And then he wrote down some shit that clearly came from the KJV, and couldn't have come anywhere else, because he kept the mistakes from the KJV too.

I definitely didn't say he made mistakes. I called him a liar for lying.

How much wive you have?

Thank god.
>that is just one o the reasond faggot
Get to the hospital, you're having a stroke.
>Maybe Joseph saw what he needed to see. Maybe if someone else used the urim and thummin, they'd see something different.

And when it was over, they took every house, smashed it, dug up the foundations, scattered the stones, unpaved the roads, broke the statues, smoothed over the walls, planted grass and trees, taught the indians hundreds of new languages overnight, and melted down all the iron into ore again.

Bro we find cities that were burned in wars that are thousands of years old. The ones in the BOM were there only a few hundred ago. Again, not how archaeology OR war works. See if they can give you a better answer.

One, and she's more than enough wife for me.
I know I'm gonna regret mentioning her though.
I know enough about Sup Forums to know the mere mention of female (or even male) people is enough to trigger a flood of requests for nudes.

>Maybe Joseph saw what he needed to see.
Can you repeat that in a way that is meaningful as to how he told you God gave him the words verbatim as they supposedly appeared on an ancient plate, but he came up with something off a book on his shelf?

Because I see no connection between what happened and what you are saying.

Well, I mean, it's also supposedly supposed to be that a lot of "Indian" remains are actually Nephite/Lamanite remains.

hey OP, I'm a former mormon. I left when I was about 18 years old. I'm 24 now. My parents still don't really accept it. They still love me and all that, but I know our relationship will never be the same. I left the church because I challenged my beliefs, I studied science and biology. Seeing all the evidence we as humans have about the world/universe, it boggles my mind that anybody can still claim religion to be 100% fact. If you have faith and your spiritual and it betters your life, I understand that. The problem I have with my parents and mormons, and almost every religious person I meet, is that they stay willfully ignorant. They don't challenge their beliefs, they don't learn about science or other religions/cultures. They don't care about climate change or political problems in the world because 'God has a plan'. They're mormon because that's all they've ever known and it's all they want to know, yet they preach the importance of education and upholding their beliefs to scrutiny.

no, i don't.

IF the two books come from a similar period in history, and have similar messages, and they share a word or two with eachother, then that just tells you that God told each of his followers similar things.

Does it bother you that Joseph Smith claimed he could translate hieroglyphics, and totally gave it a try, and said his translation was inspired by god, thinking "what the hell no one knows what this stuff means it's not like anyone will find out I'm full of shit" and then when we found out what hieroglyphics really mean we discovered he got it about 100% wrong?

Because that's the story of the book of Abraham you know.

Mate, you're following a book that's a blatant fake and a religion that's fucking retarded and was started by a pervert.

k then
u wanna pretend you're me?
go right ahead
i don giv fug
i dont understand the point your making here
if you were a mormon, you must not have paid attention
your encouraged to question the church, because then when you come back, your faith is stronger
ok tell me why everyone thinks he's a pervert
is it the polygamy thing? or maybe the pedo thing?
Both of theose things are fundamentalist mormon things. It's like switching the jews greed with the muslims tendency to explode.

That's absolutely true. You're completely skipping the point though.

Do you realize that Smith, in his attempt to make his story 100% bulletproof, came up with a kind of inspiration that was completely unique? Not a single word was his. That's the point. The original words are from the plates. The translation words are from the urim and thummin. Nothing from his own mouth.

If it had been, he'd have been fine. But since he came up with that absurd story of translation, the presence of modern mistakes in his book leaves open no other possibility than that he is a liar.

>i dont understand the point your making here

Just asking a question. Does it bother you that the Book of Abraham and its source materials expose Smith as a fraud?

Or, maybe if he read the bible alot, when he saw a bit that was similar to it, he wrote it that way

in what way do they do this?
I am confuzzled.

Plus these so called plates don't exist, nor those his "seer stones".

yes they do
we have a guarded vault for them in salt lake 'n shit
now your just throwing stuff around at random
ill show you
Evolution is not real.

>in what way do they do this?

People who can read hieroglyphs, and we know how to read them from the Rosetta Stone, say that nothing Joseph Smith translated of The Book of Abraham is correct.

>i dont understand the point your making here

Are you familiar with the Book of Abraham?

- Smith buys a genuine ancient Egyptian parchment with hieroglyphics from a wandering circus
- claims divine ability to translate hieroglyphics
- translates the Book of Abraham from the parchments
- years later, the parchments resurface
- turns out now we know what they really say
- no one, including the LDS, disputes that the real translation of the parchments Smith used have zero, zilch in common with what he claimed to translate from them

Yet they still stick with him, for some odd reason.

Again, if you believe that, you believe he was lying about how he said he wrote the Book of Mormon, because he emphasized repeatedly that he did not do it that way.

Or maybe, since the plates are meant to be the whole truth, maybe what's in egypt is horseshit.

I paid a lot of attention. I studied the religion as much as I could. I read the 4 books multiple times. I graduated seminary. I was all set to go on a mission. I questioned the religion outside of their own propaganda. I have no problem with the religion at all. It's just the same as every other organised religion. If you were born in Turkey, this thread would currently be about the Muslim religion. I was encouraged to question the church, and that's why I'm no longer a Mormon.

Sure they do. (note the sarcasm)

The only thing we agree on is Evolution isn't real.

Because he knew people like you would jump on that as an excuse to fuck him over.
He didn't just get them from some circus, goddamnit.
He got them from under a rock.

Hahahahaha . . . no. You think the whole of the Egyptian literary corpus is incorrect but Joseph Smith's "translation", which he pulle dout of his ass, is correct?

Nigga you could be a schizo. Better go to a doc to check you

Well, I respect your decision.
You dirty feckin heretic.
yeah yeah whatever
wait wut
wats your religion
yeah why not

>He didn't just get them from some circus, goddamnit.
>He got them from under a rock.


Those were the plates, friendo. The hieroglyphs that sourced the book of Mormon were a real ancient Egyptian text that he bought from a traveling circus that no one knew how to translate yet. Look it up, they apparently didn't teach you this in Mormon Apologetics.

>ou think the whole of the Egyptian literary corpus is incorrect but Joseph Smith's "translation", which he pulle dout of his ass, is correct?
>yeah why not


This isn't what the LDS even teaches. They acknowledge that the modern translation of the parchments is correct, and that it bears no resemblance to the translation that Smith came up with, but they still maintain "well, they could BOTH be true"

That's basically the best they have to work with.

>book of Mormon
Dammit, pardon me, book of Abraham.

i was sick on that day
sick of all this horseshit
dam i wish i had something good for that line, but what can you do
the plates included the original bible, which he used, to re-translate the bible
he bought nothing from any circus
you're literally implying he got a legit piece of eqyptian bibliography from a fuggin traveling circus

>Because he knew people like you would jump on that as an excuse to fuck him over.
So he lied to protect himself from my future accusations of lying?

At least he saw that one coming, I'll give him that.

and that's where the "to err is human" bit comes in.
He was an idiot.
But a well meaning idiot.
An if he was wrong, you're focusing on the wrong evidence.

Nigga look on your own website. And at least try to be objective when you read it.

lds.org/topics/translation-and-historicity-of-the-book-of-abraham?lang=eng

"None of the characters on the papyrus fragments mentioned Abraham’s name or any of the events recorded in the book of Abraham. Mormon and non-Mormon Egyptologists agree that the characters on the fragments do not match the translation given in the book of Abraham"

maybe because i dont fucking know
you guys are asking some hard fuckin question today
i was expecting the usual "lol polygamy and pedophile" posts, not actual religious discussion.
i wasn't prepared for this shit

Do you realize what the Bible itself says to do to people who say they are speaking a prophetic word of God, when in fact they are getting it from somewhere else?

It says to stone them.

Look, if Smith had just said "Here's some good advice" I wouldn't care. If he had said "Here's what God told me in my heart and I wrote it down" I'd have less to work with. But Smith concocted a scenario that left no room for him to fuck up. He didn't fuck up. He intentionally lied to you, and the evidence proves it.

Regardless of the fact that Joseph Smith was very obviously a con-man. Jesus was a radical zealot. The truth about the past isn't a big factor. They paved a way for people, stupid people for the most part, but people to better their lives and give it meaning. That's fine to me. I take big offense to religions claiming to have all the answers to everything, when they don't. I take offense to Mormons who are gay being told they have something mentally wrong with them, from a young age. I lost a lot of good friends I had growing up in the Mormon church because they didn't want to associate with someone who didn't follow the church. Hypocrisy is a huge part of being a Mormon.

youtube.com/user/millerreportus i am a real mormon come to my news site

Also no offense, do what you like, but swearing makes you seem like a pretty inept Mormon

nigga I've been a jerk all evening, I apologize. I have really good news for you about all the bad things I've been saying about the LDS, email me at nate.huggins41@gmail and I want to talk to you tomorrah and I promise I will stop being a huge wanker.

At this point I'm less angry about people accusing of lying. And more pissed that people accuse him of being a pedo polygamist.
Do any of you realize that he made a religion where people could be given a second chance to go to heaven, roughly aroun the time his brother died and his local pastor/priest told him that since his brother wasn't baptised, he wouldn't go to heaven. Maybe Joseph did lie.
But if he did, he lied to himself too.

Email me one sentence to answer one question, because it's a thread about questions: How do you get to heaven?

how about no
i know this game
and though i may have fucked up a lot, i won't fuck this up.

Hang on what was that bit about the magic underwear like I know nothing about your religion but I'm curios is that a real thing

no game at all. Make a throwaway email, only use it for this. I want to talk again and I won't be a dick, pretty please.

Other than for the sake of being polite, scriptures say nothing against swearing.
Be good
Get baptised in our religion
Or get baptised after you die.

Well, we're given underwear that's specially made to be modest. It's not "magic" underwear, but we still get a lot of shit for it.
nah, i dont feel like trying that hard

Hey there OP.

I've heard the racist ass mormon preach on how blacks are "descendants of Cain" and am part black.

I'm headed to Utah for a trip soon, what can I expect from locals aside from stares? Will my having darker skin be a deterrent from converters approaching me?

>Be good
>Get baptised in our religion
>Or get baptised after you die.


Here's what I want to talk about, email or no.

Smith constantly affirmed in the Book of Mormon that the bible itself is true, so let's work with that for a second.

The books in the bible are all different, even the gospels.

One gospel is different in that it has a "thematic statement" which tells you what its about, and it's about how to get to heaven. John 20:31 says the point of the book is this: But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

That's the point of the book, and it tells you over and over that to get to heaven, you believe.

That's what the bible says, and that's why, more than anything, Smith was a con. He taught that you get to heaven by what you do. God says you get to heaven by believing in what his son did.

While you are descended from cain, a big theme in our religion is that the sins of the ancestors are not passed down.
So don't act like a thug, and no one will care.

How much food do you have stored?