What's the fastest, most effective way to kill a cat? Need to make it non-attributable to myself

What's the fastest, most effective way to kill a cat? Need to make it non-attributable to myself.
I've tried poisoning beef and tuna but the cat smelled/tasted it and did not eat it.

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petful.com/pet-health/can-cats-eat-chocolate/
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Why do you need to kill it?

Fastest solution is to kill youself. That way you're no longer an autistic pet killing fuck.

So it is no longer alive.
It's a pest, keeps getting on my couches, leaves hair everywhere, will get inside as soon as the door is opened, won't let you eat without begging for food.
If you're sentive: the cat is very sick and in constant pain.

this

Dude fuck off cats are chill

Drown/strangle cat, throw away in garbage

Just take to a shelter or leave it at some old granny/crazy cat lady's doorstep, ring the bell, then run away. Even better, sell it on craigslist or ebay classifieds for $$

Nice waste of money, dumb fuck.

Yeah, that's equally as intelligent as buying a full sized human house for it

Well just chop its fucking head off!

Just sell it retard.

Let it drink antifreeze

Retard. Just let it out and afterwards shoot yourself in the fucking face you faggot. And for what it's worth I fucking despise cats.

I've though about that but I would not want to be seen by neighbors carrying the before/after it dies
I can't, the people living with me would realize

What I'm looking for is something like a poison but that the cat would actually ingest

I did not pay for it

Just kill yourself or take it to the humane society you dumb piece of shit.

The cat's supposed to die whereas I live

Stop trying to poison the cat if you're not man enough to just outright kill it with a shovel or something similar then don't do it at all

Antifreeze dude. put a small bowl of it out and wait for the little fucker to drink some.

Would it drink it? Does it have a particular smell?
Poison did not work due smell

oh your cat smells poison ur out of luck

there's nothing you can do

It has nothing to do with me not wanting to kill it using my hands, I need it to die in a way that resembles the cat getting sick and dying from that. Otherwise I would have stabbed it already

Yes, antifreeze would kill it and it'd probably drink it because it tastes sweet. If it's my cat though I'll know and I'll hunt you to the ends of the earth.

I know chocolate kills dogs but don't know with cats. Try!

I just looked on google and it seems cats are actually attracted to anti-freeze, now I just need to make sure it cannot be healed if taken to a vet

Dude. Buy chocolate and crush it to small pieces and mix with the cat food.
It will kill the cat.

I can assure you it's not your cat or I was not aware you lived with me

Googled more, cats die hours after drinking antifreeze, I think this is a safe choice

petful.com/pet-health/can-cats-eat-chocolate/

You are trash

If dubs kill self

Well I read that and it seems chocolate its only poisonous to cats in large amounts and it may not eat it. Spiking a can of tuna with more than 6ml of antifreeze seems better

Roll

No, but the cat will eventually be

roll

Why do you have to be so secretive?

GTFO NORMIES

Why do you roll? Even if you got quints the only way for that to kill me would be for my phone to blow up due that and exploding largerly enough to crack the skull and melt the brain

Antifreeze, they like the sweet taste

When has Sup Forums ever been about killing animals faggot

Post pics of dead cat when it dies OP. You'll make my day :)

So it is not thought as something out of the ordinary, people think it's sick, give it a few days to recover before taking it to the vet and it dies before that

Cats cant feel sweetness you fucking moron

You can find many dead cats on google images

If you come back later and post pic of dead cat w/ timestamp Op, I'll post tits w/ timestamp for you

...

Well whatever taste they taste when they drink antifreeze, they like it you moron. I have experience in that.

It seems a bit strange people are asking for pictures of it when dead. Is this a SJW campaign to later try to find the culprit?

My brother grabbed a cat by the small of its neck and sliced its throat, the only thing is that it's kinda messy.

Google dusty the cat you autistic moron

kill yourself instead, stream if u do

Nope I just hate fucking cats. They're disgusting vile creatures.

The body needs to be unwounded, must look like a disease

since when was Sup Forums full of SJW?

fuck dusty, that cat got what it deserved...to bad the hero that Sup Forums deserved didn't finish the job

You must be drowning in pussy

I would gain nothing from that, contrary if the cat died