Hello Sup Forums

Hello Sup Forums

I have a problem with chronic constipation, how does one get rid of it?

Some things you need to know:

>I poop every 7 days
>sometimes use light based laxatives
>My IQ is 126
>I am bi-curious

I had to get this off my chest, btw what makes me poop the best is something funny, i dont know why.

only serious answers are accepted please

>only serious answers are accepted please

>Sup Forums

good luck.

there are good souls everywhere :^)

Stop eating so much cheese?

i know.

I don't eat cheese, maybe lack of fiber, but no cheese :

>bi
Stop getting you shit pushed in.

I came

pitted prunes, yo

Eat better, more veggies less tendies.

oh my why did you have to post this

7 days

thanks bruv

actually 19 virgin :)

>IQ of 126

Still cant figure out how to have a normal bowel movement.

Take a dick in the ass, it'll loosen you up

Pooping almost always stops my constipation, try that.

I have a problem with chronic diarrhea. If somehow we could just meet in the middle, both of our lives would be better.

shit happens, i do other stuff good though, but have problem with poop

Smoke a cig and have some coffee. Guaranteed success.

Am currently taking a shit right now

it's tuesday.

no shit

Well, that's something

>IQ of 126
>obvious grammar mistake

Psyllium husk, same shit thats in metamusil etc. When you wake in the morning have hot water mix in 2 tablespoons of applecider vinegar and squeeze some lemon in. Drink lots of water then take the psyllium husk. Cut out your shit diet of sugars and salts. Also have 2 tablespoons of coconut oil or olive oil. Your intestines are severely dehydrated and lack the oils necessary for your body to remove waste efficiently.

STOP DRINKING COFFEE AND ALCOHOL diaretics are a no go until you have balanced your body out

i agree, although i think diarrhea is less of a problem than constipation

kys

not english bruvv

thanks i'll have this in mind

>diarrhea is less of a problem
yup, my main diet is alcohol and fast food, shit liquid 5 times a day and it's great.

...

>am bi curious

quit taking so many dicks OP

how are you gonna take a shit if some bloke is blocking the road already?

thanks not great, in fact that is horrible, but look at it this way, you poop, the only thing you have to do is make your poop a bit harder

read this

You don't drink enough coffee

Shit ain't happening

i hardly drink coffee, sometimes when i go out with a friend, other than that i usually drink lot of zero coke

Nurse here.
Some people poop every day, some once a week. The frequency isn't the problem, constipation is. Prolonged laxative use may increase constipation.
Are your stools black?
As others have said, include more fiber in your diet. Drink more water. Exercise regularly.

it was an expression, thanks for ruining it

it's how i keep my boyish 200lb figure, don't knock it. get on my diet bro.

...

>Shit ain't happening

well last year i used laxatives, dulcolax ALOT, i stopped in january and i was lax-free for almost six months (in the meantime I had a bowel movement every 7 days) . stool isnt black, just sometimes the first one is hard to pass. sometimes there is light blood and sometimes its fine.

...

Under rated post

mix slim fast with chocolate milk mix. lots of lactose. you'll be squirting in minutes.

So like clockwork. So not constipated. So shit happens.

7 days is too much i think, i'd be happy with 3 days

Nice quads

I had a huge cheese burrito and wound up constipated as fuck, & tried so hard to shit I got a hemmoroid. Then I has the pain of a roid plus the pain of being constipated, and over the next week, actual shitting was so insanely excruciating I blacked out.

Eventually i got through that. The next thanksgiving, the only place open was the burrito shop, and once again, had one, andonce again, constipation the next day, but remembering the horror of the previous year, I trinmed my fingernails down, scooped up some vaseline, and worked two fingers in, pulled them out and that was it. Problem solved. Wash hands.

You can be squeamish about your own body up until you've suffered through bleeding hemmoroid constipation for a couple weeks.

the light bleeding is caused by the tears in your colon from those giant poops. Visit a doctor. I can't diagnose you.

Oh and I forgot to say this , every time i get a slight urge to poop I get scared (as a child i had problem with hard to pass stools and to this day i scared that it will hurt etc) and delay the urge as long as possible.

OP, life is good
IQ of 126
Can bang guys or girls
Don't have to blow money on reams of TP
Clean asshole most of the time, guys will appreciate that.

have had to do the same thing for almost the same reason kek. This user knows whats good.

thats so metal.

This

as i said, light bleeding doesn't happen always, sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesnt.

it usually happens when i struggle to pass a stool

really shy when it comes to docs

Have you tried pooping?

tomorrow is 7 days since last bowel movement

>thats so metal.

btw i dont want to come this this phase

You gotta strain like Elvis

should I take a laxative or see where it goes without it?

We've seen it all bud. No one will judge you.

google: "Garden of Life Raw Probiotics Ultimate Care 30 Vegetarian Capsules " You will get the ultimate probiotic, it will make your shits daily and velvety smooth.

you may even loose weight and feel healthy for once. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

metamucil
>40 grams daily
>and stop getting your shit pushed in

Yeah I didn't either. Thats why the second time, I realized, the possibility of getting a little of your own shit on your finger is a pretty small price to pay, compared to the alternative.

lets say i visit a doc and refer to him with my prob. what exactly would he do to me?

get the bucket of vasoline out user, you are at that phase.

>Garden of Life Raw Probiotics Ultimate Care 30 Vegetarian Capsules
I'll take a look at this thanks

If you havent gone for a week, it will be like rough sex when it works

Finger up the bum. At least you like that.

OP, you should be shitting atleast once a day, 2-3 times if you're healthy.


Considering the fact that you're probably some fat neckbeard, I'll just assume you're not healthy.

Basically you're making your body toxic as fuck, enjoy dying faggot.

dont just look, order that shit nigger, its 30 bucks and will fuckin change your life.

unlike most shit probiotics, that one has actual bio diversity. I suffered from chronic fissures, hemmeroids...it got so bad i had to go to the ER to treat a deep fissue that turned into a fistula. I tried everything. Laxitives. Psylum husks. nothing worked. I swear to motherfucking god that shit will clear you up. just try it, its only 30 bucks

from user.

Increase fiber to at least 30 grams a day. Make at least 10 grams of it psylium husk fiber until things get running again

stick a CLove of Garlic up your ass after every poop for about a month, not only will it clear up your Butt, but you'll probably loose weight healthily while your at it. I went from a 38-34 as a man, let myself stabilize without doing it for about 2 monthes and now I'm starting up again (I'm betting I'm almost a 32 again) I had a similar problem.

drink some coffee faggot.

the dubs of truth

7 days?

bitch i just went 9 weeks without shitting

..it was actually horrible and a miracle i didn't tear something and die from fecal peritonitis.

>126
whoa, we've got a genius here guys

he only wants the cream

thanks for the kind words.

i weigh 79kg and am around 182cm tall, so i dont think i'm overweight.

how is this possible

He'd ask you questions about your diet, exercise, fluid intake and make recommendations. From what you've said, there are no obstructions with defecating, no bloody stool.
At worst you have hemorrhoids from all the pushing and show you how to perform an enema on yourself.

but how many stones and hands?

I will thanks user!

anything is possible on the internet.

I'd skip the enema part lol

Coffee makes me shit...especially after drinking. To each his own.

Drink lots of water

large amounts of heroin and not wanting to go because i was afraid of the pain. it just really got away from me.

what if you scissor each other and you blast diarrhea up his ass which will flush out his mega poo and suck some of it back in to your ass thus helping plug you up JUST enough but not TOO much

>especially after drinking
splashing it in the face doesn't work as well?

and how did you get that massive poop out of you?

dont do heroin, are you clean now?

>JUST enough but not TOO much

i just spit beer on my laptop you asshole.

...

70% of these answers are pure rubbish.

Sup Forumss acting childish imo

Ok then, let me rephrase that, you're unhealthy as fuck.

Skinny =/= Healthy


You probably have a shit diet and you don't exercise.

Eat whole plant foods before you need an emergency appendectomy.