I have a bunch of stray cats outside my house, anyone have any good tips to get rid of them

I have a bunch of stray cats outside my house, anyone have any good tips to get rid of them

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get a rottweiler

Lay out a bowl a rice to atract the asians and watch them dissapear

If there's anything Sup Forums should be good at, it's repelling pussy.

Find a way to attract a pack of stray dogs.

They're probably in heat. You gotta get out there and fuck each and every one of them raw. God's speed, OP. I believe in you!

Bowls of antifreeze. Poisoned tuna. A fucking shotgun.

+1

pour some anti-freeze in a bowl sit it outside

...

...

Would cats even touch that shit?

Put out a bowl of warm milk but add bleach into it. Watch as their organs fry and they scream to death. Kek!

Build small enclosure
Put cat treats and nip in
Buy AR-15
Wait until cats are partying...

Feed them then they'll go away

It's sweet to them
Dead soon

yes, it smells sweet and tastes sweet. 100% guarenteed to work

This

Look I know this is Sup Forums but I can't do anything to hurt them that shits a felony charge now

Happened to me too. I was trying to actually get one, so I left food out for it. It never came back.

Post video if you do it please

get a bag of catnip, dump in neighbors yard, problem solved.

Pour in the middle of street for bonus pts

So don't get caught, simple as that. Its not that hard.

Works on homeless, too. 4 oz is enough to cause death in an adult human. Just leave it in a flask where they linger.

>in b4 op kills the cats and user goes after him for hurting a cat

Yea man video evidence of a felony, I'll be sure to do that for you

Yea I know how people are about cats that's why I just want them gone not dead

just fucking do it at night in your own fucking yard, then remove the bowl after you confirm they drink from it or put it in a fucking oil drain pan, and say it's not your fault stray cats got into your car maintance materials

get some magic mushrooms and make them into a powder. Mix in with tuna. Let the cats get fucked up and they will likely wander away from your yard. Plus that shit would make a great video.

voting

You can get cat traps and "relocate" them (kill them that's the funniest) or to take care of them without a trap, put some kitty food out and put a bunch of antifreeze in it

damn thats actually a really good idea

that is a fucking waste of mushrooms
call animal control if you are gonna be a complete pussy, if people own these cats then go knock on the doors of people who are letting thier stupid shits run wild

They won't drink bleach. Antifreeze is the way to go, they love that shit

Take care of them until they grow old and die, you kind, lovable bastard.

Underrated post

Fire

No one will know that it was you. And they're stray cats. No one gives a fuck about stray cats.

Just leave them and let them kill all the vermin trying to get into your house.

How do so many of you know cats love anti freeze?

Because cats are disgusting creatures and I love to watch them die.

I'm the only one who lives here so it would be obvious I did something to make like 8 cats die

an 1/8th is like 20 bucks here. Thats all you would need. And nothing wrong with Op from making himself a mushroom tuna melt and enjoying the cat show.

How long does it take for them to die from it?

You're the only one who lives in the entire neighborhood? That's pretty odd, but then no one will notice for sure.

Plug in a vacuum and leave it running outside.

A 1/8 is 40 to 45 bucks here I'm not wasting that on these fucks

A few hours. It's perfect, they consume it, they wander off, and then they die.

Cats may not eat mushrooms too. They love antifreeze though

Take them to a fucking animal center then, you dumb cunt. How are you fuckers even able to operate on a daily basis?

I live in the country not the city have people close but not to close just wanna make sure I'm not getting told on by some faggots

Shake a palstic bag to shoo them, thats what I do to my cat and she always bolts away

Or just do society a favor and kill their disgusting feral asses.

This thread has busted my sides with how many people have given cats antifreeze

Bury their bodies in the ground so only their heads are poking out. Then get the lawn mower . . .

The animal control here takes my name and shit and if they find something wrong they call the cops

You're such a pussy, how are they gonna know unless you just tell everyone? If anything comes up (which again it won't unless you tell people) then maybe the dumbasses got into your car supplies. It's not your responsibility to keep them out.

Thanks for all the advice guys, for once you guys aren't being huge faggots

So skin 'em and make a glorious Tyler Durden cat fur pimp coat

I've had this problem before. A neighbor had 40 fucking feral cats. Ticks, fleas, Lyme disease, worms, mange. Put out dishes of anti-freeze. They think they taste atp (atp is energy molecule, they don't taste sweet but it will register similarly for them). Trapping then release will make them not want to go to your yard ever again as well.

You can call me a pussy if you want man, but I'm just saving my ass from being raped in prison for animal abuse

Then don't poison them on the way there?
user, are you feeling okay?

Lol. Unless you've somehow made a reputation for yourself as an animal killer, there's literally no way for them to know.. You're overly paranoid.

OP they have traps for this. Go to your animal shelter and get one, I got mine for free. Or make your own. Get them one at a time by luring them with food.

I have a really bad paranoia problem from doing a lot of drugs so your probably right man

Strutting back and forth works I hear

youtube.com/watch?v=vEtbfzMLVWU

Well rest assured I do this all the time. Easiest way to solve the problem without getting caught.

alright what about tuna and caffine pills?

Not so. I had a tomcat that sprayed in my yard for a while. Caught him in a trap, let him sit in it for a day or so, spared him but promised that if I caught him again, that cat was fucking dead.

Few months later I caught him again so he had to die. I decided to put the trap in a black trash bag and pour bleach and ammonia in it to make poison gas. I did this and then left to go get some lunch.

Came back an hour or two later and the cat was still alive and moaning painfully. The bleach and ammonia had burned him, but the concentration of gas was not enough to kill him. So we had to shoot him in the head with a .22. Should have just done that to begin with, but I wanted to test the poison gas.

So they should die within a day right?

Why would you say "not so"
To antifreeze? It works perfectly, they drink it and then they die. It's nothing like what you attempted you retard lmao

Yes they should, usually 12 hours TOPS

No, to the catch and release making them not come back. Should have greentexted the quote.

Oh I see. Yeah cats aren't smart enough, you have to actually take care of the job ;)

You think they will fuck off and die or just die in my yard

Catch them in live traps and drop them off at a pound

Give them a chance at some kind of life, chances are they'll be euthanized anyways...

They'll fuck off. Unless they're always in your yard for some reason? They don't feel it immediately so they usually consume it and then go live their lives for a few hours till they drop dead.

They have been chilling outside my house on my Windows and shit so Idk if they would leave to die

Uhh, anti-freeze will basically crystallize their kidneys. As for the trapping. That seemed to work well but I am in a rural area. Not sure I'd you are in urban or suburban.

It's simple
Cat's are all about TERRITORY
>Drink 4 liters of Dr. Pepper
>Eat a plate of asparagus
>Hold it in for 24 hours
>Go to war

Take two pairs of scissors, one in each hand, and run into the cats, eyes closed (very important), screaming and clipping them scissors.

An evolutionary feline anomaly will scare them off and they will never come back.

True story

> This

Yeah, I think I was the first poster to suggest antifreeze. What I was trying to refute was the notion that catching and releasing will discourage their return. This is sadly not the case. Sometimes I fucking hate cats.