Hear a knock on the door

>Hear a knock on the door
>See this

What do you do?

Call the cops. Tell them a human thumb is standing naked outside my fucking door and they have 5 minutes to come arrest him before I stab him.

Turn 360 and run away

Rape him

Tell him never to use the front door again, and that the cotton fields are around back.

The slider is kind of for family use only

open the door

>Rip his dick off
>Shove it in his mouth
>rape him with my dick and his own dick shoved in his mouth
>Sell him

This is after he delivers the painal, correct?

kekd

open the door, pull down pants, then start rethinking my what the fuck I'm doing with my life.

this

also laugh at that tiny dick

Post my gf kik to see if she was cheating on me with him.

>human thumb
Phahhahahah

Sweet the UPS guy is here.
That means my Amazon order is early!

kneel down. suck his cock

decision, rifle or shotgun.

wonder how he got onto my balcony on the 4th floor

Beat the living shit out of it

Run into my bedroom. Get my gun. Shoot shoot shoot.
Run to the other room and get my stolen little 32 pistol with the serial number half scratched off. Wipe it down and put it in his cold dead hand.
Call police
Later on order a pizza

tells him i don't want to be a scientologist and go back on Sup Forums

Prepare myself and hope he brought some lube.

>...... Rick?

INVITE HIM IN AND GET LUBE.

Shoot him, he's not selling cookies.

As an American, either shoot it, or feed it 300 lbs of Miracle Whip, Cheese and Diet Coke, then fetch its motorized wheelchair.

He'll run when he sees me, plain and simple.

Shoot him in the head and take him to my secret place and put him in the well with the others.

You do realize if you do a 360 you are facing him again right? God there are too many newfaggots and summer friends on B i cant even belive it, GTFO of my B faggot

put my hands on his chest and kiss him passionately. then submit to his godcock and be sure to be a good lil boy.

I'll make this short and sweet.

When you summerfags flooded in here and think that you can be anonymous. This is not a fact, you have not earned the right to be anonymous. I hope you know that until you prove yourself with epic dubs, trips, and quads, you're nothing. I EARNED my EFG mask, did you? NO, you got it from Amazon. I got mine given to me during the epic scientology protests by an offical anonymous member.

You edgy plebs are just throwing euphoria at one another and posting your gr8 b8 m8's, sometimes I even r8 8/8.

So tip your fedoras because u mad, and your jimmies are rustled, I will have my topkek and toplel's while you try to make your mark as epic trolls.

prove me wrong

>protip: you can't.

#rekt

>Ii'll make this short and sweet.

When you summerfags flooded in here and think that you can be anonymous. This is not a fact, you have not earned the right to be anonymous. I hope you know that until you prove yourself with epic dubs, trips, and quads, you're nothing. I EARNED my EFG mask, did you? NO, you got it from Amazon. I got mine given to me during the epic scientology protests by an offical anonymous member.

You edgy plebs are just throwing euphoria at one another and posting your gr8 b8 m8's, sometimes I even r8 8/8.

So tip your fedoras because u mad, and your jimmies are rustled, I will have my topkek and toplel's while you try to make your mark as epic trolls.

prove me wrong

>protip: you can't.

#rekt

...

Fuck your father in the shower then have a snack...

Boy! SOMEBODY needs his Tendies!

i've been a Sup Forumstard since 2008 but you have flattered me

agreed

...

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Banana guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Tell him to stay where he is.
Call my female friends and tell them a naked muscle man is standing outside my window, and that they should come over to make fun of him and have him do tricks.
Proceed to take pictures of this fucking idiot in front of the girls and sell them online.

Tell him to go fuck himself.

Immediately take out one of the tactical knives I carry on me at all times and stab his scrotum repeatedly

I was already facing backwards, so the 360 is a flourish, dumbass.

set my two german sheps on him

Aside from the get, you're a beta bitch

seconded

Tell him he is welcome and let invited to a soya latte and talk all the afternoon.

Hug my long lost dad before he takes me ups stairs and reminds me of my childhood