New feels thread, old one 404'd

New feels thread, old one 404'd

It's a saturday night and I've got nowhere to go. I'll be here all night folks.

What's your boggle friend?

ill continue
around valentines day we started drifting apart, she wouldnt talk to me as much as she used to, she wouldnt reply to text and if she did it would be small sentences. overall i could feel her slipping away and i tried my hardest to keep her in my life, i loved her, so much.
all she wanted to do was talk to my bestfriend, and him the same. i confronted him about everything and he just laughed and said not to worry they were just close and i believed him.
cont.

...

Got to go to work right now and cant stay to express my feels.

...

>Be me, 13 years.
>Our parents had been dating for like 6 months before they moved together.
>I lived with my mom, but I stayed with them every weekend.
>I found out my father's gf had a daughter.
>16 years old, qt, amazing looks, even if she looked kinda messy. Huge tits though.
>We were both too shy to talk to the other.
>Every morning, our parents took us to the beach.
Mothermybodydisgustsme.pdf
>Every afternoon I played Guitar Hero 3 for hours, all alone and she stood back there, watching me play.
>She couldn't help following the beat with her feet.
>Noticed her favorite song was Black Magic Woman.
>Sat by her side and played it for her.
>Looked in her eyes.
>What's this? What's this? What's this?
>First love.
>As days passed by, I became more and more obsessed about her.
>She was my whole world and I didn't care about anything else.
>Summer arrived and I moved with them.
>One day, I saw her naked by accident.
>I had watched a lot of porn form my father's computer but damn, she was sexier than any of those girls.
>Hid under my blankets and re-made her body in my head.
>Tried to masturbate.
>But I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't.
>She seemed so pure to me...
>We kept having some small talk from time to time.
>I taught her volleyball and we played all the time.
>She always lost, but she got better and better every time.
>I thought of telling her how I felt when she defeated me.
>She never did because our parents had an argument and broke up.
>Never saw her again. Never told anyone about this.
Wanna hear more about my life?

>Pic is Katie Holmes in The Gift. They looked much like the same.

again ill skip details because i have to go in like 20 minutes but we found out over the course of a couple weeks that she was in love with my bestfriend (we found out through his girlfriend which was now his ex since they stayed close friends) everything was the same i was still dating her and was trying to fix things but it was lost hope, she broke up with me then a week later my bestfriend started dating her and i couldnt believe it, i completely lost all hope and happiness i found out. they both completely dropped me out of there lives like i was absolutely nothing.
tfw this happened around march and i feel still the same about life and everything that happened like it happened yesterday
tfw the bestfriend i have was the closest person and one of the only people in my life
ill forever be looking for any sort of love to somehow fix me, but being honest Sup Forums im scared.

This one's worth the long read

If you wanna talk I'll happily read.

Continue, my man

Thank you, user. Same goes for you.

...

I really don't want to do it

It's your choice, I understand

Nothing bothering me especially apart from the nagging thoughts that I've made some wrong choices in my life.

I mean, I've got a job that pays good (enough) that I actually enjoy (enough), yet I keep thinking back to a few years ago and wonder how my life would be if some things went differently. Would I be happier in that alternate universe? I seem to think so but it might be a case of the grass is always greener...

I think I'm depressed.

>have recreational hobby
>nice model kits
>also collect action figures like a manchild
>collected in a very stupid fashion, trying to "get a little something of everything"
>a few months pass
>sell of some toys and models
>realize I could sell off everything and not feel anything
>haven't been able to pull the trigger on getting something new and fun in weeks

That's just the most recent development in stuff. There's some feelsy backstory.

Emotional detachment? Damn.. do you mind sharing the backstory, user?

This one was in last thread

I'm not sure the backstory ties into it, but I might as well.

>Be me
>Be born
>Hey alright, the world's p cool
>around 2 now, still kicking ass and taking names
>sister born
>hey alright that's cool good job fucking, parents
>grow up a bit
>sister diagnosed with low-function autism
>never going to mentally develop past a young child
>move
>nice, small town called hartford in ohio
>didn't really understand sister's condition for years, more or less ignored her
>mom quit her job when we were born, dad's fulltime provider
>mom has to stay home to watch sister, not optional
>dad, in making friends with the neighbors, takes up drinking and smoking weed
>he yells at mom
>a lot
>me too sometimes
(cont.)

guess i'm gonna tell my history

>be me, 16
>totally a 6/10, quite fat but pretty funny
>English school meet a girl
>14,blonde, not tall,seems to have a lot of money
>she came and sits right next to me
>panic,hands are sweating,
>palms are sweaty
>After 20 minutes she talks to me
>she says "Hey, you know how to make exercise 2?
> say "sure, let me help you"
>she thanks me and say if we can change phone numbers
>First fucking time some pretty girl tell me this
>we do it
>Later that night se sends me a message
>Start to talk all the night
>She is so nice
>So funny
>so.. me

>started dating out
>she was everything i needed, and everything i was looking for
>9 months of relation
>people could'nt believe how a pretty blond girl 9/10 was dating a boy like me
> everytime i went to her house to go out, i buyed her a Milka chocolate, her favourite
> we lost our virginity each other, lifeisgood.png
>one day we where laying on the couch
>her dad comes in
>not a bad guy, she asks her if they could talk together
>she looks at me and say
>Hum user, can you leave? i have to speak to my dad.
>Ok, not a problem
>2 hours later she calls me
>"user there's something i need to tell you"
>fuck
>"I'm moving.."
>Please no.

>Mad at her, her family, every single one of them
>she was leaving in 3 days
>Didnt talk to her on those days
>The day has come
>she already left the city
>Got a new message
>"user, i'm so sorry you're angry at me, as soon i got there i'll call you on skype"
>"I love you, please dont be mad at me"

>But she never got to get there
>Car accident
>All dead
>mfw i could have spent those 3 days with her
>mfw i'm still waiting for her skype call

I love you Delfina.

>always been a loner, not that i don't want friends i just don't have anyone around me i want to be friends with
>the last year of highschool
>meet this girl that is pretty much just the female version of me
>funny, reclusive, into some odd shit
>spend months just hanging out
>spending time at her house after school, riding the bus for an hour and a half to go hang out with her on the weekends, go to her house for halloween etc...
>truly love her, more than i have ever loved myself
>no future of my own
>no money for college or desire to go thousands of dollars into debt, no "connections" for jobs
>grew up super poor and don't want to subject anyone else to it, let alone someone i love
>tell her once right at the end of the school year that i love her
>move far enough away that i cant hang out every day any more, but close enough that if i spent the that day riding buses i could get to her
>she is in a 5 year long relationship now
>cant stop thinking of "what ifs"
>been six years since we hang out last
>she permeates every waking thought
>keep dreaming of her
>in my dreams its just us hanging out in an apartment or something, going to a park and just sitting watching the world
>my literal dream girl is a friend
>i will probably never see her again
Its a weight that truly weighs heavy on my heart. And i wish we could have been together, but then i look at my life and realize i couldn't subject her to this.
I could have done something, but how could i knowingly subject someone else to a shitty life?
I would rather be alone and her find someone that can give her what she needs and wants then be selfish and be with her.
And its a decision that kills me a little every day.

This happened to me yesterday

niger

>be me

Thread about meaning of life died so i'll post it here, i guess it kind of fits
>the meaning of life, why do we exist
The meaning of life is for the strongest to breed, and for the weak do die
>my goal in life
I don't know why, but i got a strong urge to be remembered and therefore i cut runes in stone, it will last for more than 1000 years and if people or some intelligent life exist by then they might see it and want to know more about them, so they might trace it back to me somehow, some day.
>is life worth living
I don't think life is worth living, but i don't think it's worth to give up either, some day you might see the light in the tunnel... some day... i guess the most important thing is to find something you want to do, and just do it

Pt 2
>never really knew about "average family life"
>no boardgames or going out to eat
>mom and sister stayed home, I went to school, dad worked
>never had a ton of friends in school
>one kid with the same name as me
>didn't really like him, better than nothing
>he lives with his younger brother, mother, and grandma
>still no example of what a "normal family life" looks like
>elementary school over
>middle school
>got glasses
>holy shit everything's so high res
>my middle school was in between three elementaries, so they all get dumped in together
>makes some new friends
>rarely associate with elementary school friends
(cont.)

fuck off

Im numb Sup Forums. Just numb
feels bad man, I guess

I read it once, I cried a lot

also ask me anything if you would like

>be me yesterday
>get DM from dude from Wales
> Asks if I like grill
>Grill is my GF I tell him
> Tells him Grill is also his GF
> I ask for proof
> He gives me proof
> TFW got cucked by a 15 year old from Wales

Back from the old thread, any anons still here?

Welcome to the party, user. Got anything you wanna put off your chest?

/thread/

Not user who posted.

Oh no, do. It's worth it.

pick is kind of what i feel right now

Pt. 3
>meet a cool guy
>call him tom for the sake of this
>tom's a 7th day adventist
>his family is the nicest group of cultists you'd ever know
>games together
>no yelling
>10/10 best woman ever older sister
>realize my home life was kinda trash
>shut-in mom, invalid sister, drunk, aggressive dad
>oh well can't do anything about it might as well not let it get to me
>middle school end
>high school starts
>we have to move because dad didn't hold a job for a while
>food stamps for a few months
>new house substantially worse than old house
>mom's still a shut-in
>sister still mentally challenged
>dad's getting more angry
(cont.)

Idk user. Never been that good at sharing feelings with people.
The easiest thing to say is I feel like shit right now

i'll make it easy for you; "Why?"

Yeah same here.
Fucking sucks, and there is nothing to do about it. so might aswell accept it

>Went back back by my mother's.
Ihatemyselfandwanttodie.mp3
>Depressed as fuck.
>I really wanted to do something so I could take her out of my mind.
>I couldn't do anything because my body felt too heavy.
>I knew sad people end up alone, so I pretended to be happy.
>Tell jokes, be the clown. Started bullying a fat boy from my high-school class.
>(Oh, if I could go back in time...)
>That year, I was the center of attention.
>I was the ultimate troll, unlimited wits, nobody could beat me in an insult battle.
>Many friends yet so empty inside. I needed her.
>If I could just say goodbye to her...
>Fast forward to next year.
>Acted cool the first months.
>Couldn't take it anymore.
>Had a kind of panic attack in class.
>''Look, gurlz, he's mad, haha''.
>Alone again.
>Discovered I wasn't really alone.
>Had some kind of romantic relationship with some old friend. I was straight though, but needed some love, no matter where it came from.
Myonlyfriendtheend.jpg
>I lied to him. Told him everything was okay.
>He wanted to save me, somehow.
>Didn't want to spoil his life, so I left him.
>I promised I'd take care of myself.
>Saturday night crying my heart out for some stranger at Sup Forums. Obviously failed.
Lo siento, Álvaro, lo siento, Natalia. Tenéis un gran futuro por delante y lo mejor es tener a la gente como yo bien lejos.

>9th grade, try to be everyone's friend
>scope a qt3.14
>i'm gonna hold hands with that
>get in good with her sister
>her parents
>and her
>finally ask the question
>"lolnope"
>10th grade
>alright fuck everyone who isn't my best friend, teachers included
>rest of high school was p good because of this mindset
>mom gets breast cancer
>chemo
>she hates it
>all that shut-in-ness made her pretty timid to everything
>probs where i got it from
>cancer gone, no follow-up treatment
>hey mom you should get follow-up treatment
>the amount of extra pain i'd go through with that isn't worth the extra years i'd get, user
>o-oh
>dad still yells
>nightly
>sister and i can't even go to a different floor of the house to avoid it
>don't go to high school graduation, prom, grad parties
(cont.)

I thought my life was amazing but got a reality check last night and the girl that is supposedly my girlfriend collapsed it for me.

i've read this before user, probably the most feels i've had on here

I'm the same user who wrote

...

Jesus, man...

I'm a coward, user.
My dreams are gone and it feels like time is running out
Sorry if that sounds too depressing

>now out of high school
>resent father immensely for his treatment of mother and I
>as soon as an opportunity presents itself, I bail
>live with grandparents
>never learned to drive in high school
>didn't learn to drive right after
>to this day I only have my temps
>don't live somewhere close enough to businesses that I could walk to a job
>put on a substantial amount of weight
>get online
>never get offline
>it's now 2014
>mom's health degrades over the year
>she claims it's a slipped disk in her spine
>walking with cane
>eventually dad takes her to the hospital
>tumors
>lots and lots of tumors
>collapsed lung
>she's not going to get out of this one
>isn't getting treatment, is getting pain management
>hospice care comes up
>she just wants to stay at home
>she takes the room I slept in
>during her last few months, I visited her on Sundays
>texted with her daily
>made sure the last message I sent was that I loved her
>mom gone
>just over a year ago now
>haven't seen dad since funeral
>sister lives with grandparents and I on days Dad works
>i haven't come to terms with her death yet
>four days out of the week I'm reminded that sooner or later, I'm going to be the sole provider for my sister
>no matter where I go, no matter what I do
>i'll have to take care of her someday
>a few months before mom got bad the second time is when the toy and model kit collecting started

Guess that's it in a nutshell.

You have all the time in the world user.
Remember that we're all scared and afraid. but that shouldnt hold you back from doing what you want, no matter what it is. All you gotta do is keep thinking straight how hard that may be.
Youll get there user. Im sure of it!

Everyone are cowards, but not everyone has to lift a weight like yours. But you've managed to live to this point and damn, I'm pretty sure that's a good proof of your strength.
Not sure if that's good, but we're young. Time isn't running anywhere, it's just a feeling. I'm pretty sure nothing I can do about you counts but *hug*.

Just a friendzone. But it hurts really bad.

Thanks for reading, dude. This is somehow a relief.

join me fags
www dot younow dot com slash TobiasMetzen/

i got the fucking feels man
my eyes are burning, been a while since i felt this

No chances

fuck u

cunts like you just have to come don't they

That must feel terrible, user... I'm sorry for your loss and experiences

Oh my fucking shit I've been thinking this for the past few days, haven't in seen the movie but I know the plot. This is literally me.

Believe this was posted in the last thread aswell, but fuck it. love this pic so much.

Thanks, user. It felt good just putting it all out there. Cathartic. One of the first times I've brought up my Mom without crying. I got teary-eyed, but I didn't cry.

Thanks user.

Every voice deserves being heard, user. I'm glad you feel relieved! And just keep living the day as it comes

Forgot some stuff cause i am typing retarded.
>wait as long as i can to try to ask her if she would be willing to go out to do something,just the two of us
>closest thing to a best friend that i have is there too, and out waits me
>they are a couple the next day, dont last more than 2 weeks cause hes a drug head and drinks at 18
>tell her once right at the end of the year that i love her
>her " Why did you tell that? I'm crying now", me:"What does that mean?, her:"I don't know"
>as her if i had asked first if she would have started dating me instead
>almost immediate yes
>go by her house once, shitty run down pickup tuck (with an alarm system for some reason) outside
>her and new boyfriend get in it and leave
>she looks happy
>still dating him
>still looks so happy
Its nice to her happy after knowing some of the ahit she went through, but it also breaks my heart.
I don't want her to be sad, but seeing her happy with someone else is a bittersweet pain.
I want to move on and have her be "the one that got away", but i will never be able to stop thinking of her and what could have been.

No problem. I'll be here, no matter what you need to say.

No worries, Be strong user!

I'm glad you were comfortable enough to share your story with us, dude. We'll always be here for our Sup Forumsros

Hope im not annoying you guys with the pics, just tell me to stop when they do.

I don't really post on Sup Forums, I'm more of a filthy lurker.

I'm dumping everything. R.I.P Eight Beers

for me it's a cycle of stress, work, social life, and bad sleep

>Takes hours to fall asleep
>as i slowly fall asleep i feel just like an electric current through my body
>first it feels like nothing at all but slowly it rises as if the voltage started at 0 but slowly rises
>as the feeling is getting stronger the body also feels numb and i start to hear sounds, sometimes pleasant, but mostly horrific like growling or just plain scary
>Sometimes i can see strange things, like it's raining from the floor up onto the ceiling, sometimes shadowy figures walking around the walls, sometimes a mirror image of myself changing into something else and so on
>this wakes me up after a while and even tho i know what it is i cannot help but to feel scared
>when i fall asleep again i know this will most likely repet
>wake up in the morning, if i even slept at all
>go to work tired
>want to quit every second, hoping that i will get ill or hurt myself so i can go home
>friends wants to hang out, but i'm just to tired
>usually angry with my family if/when i meat them or talk to them
>generally feel like shit
>lies to everybody saying i'm fine and all that shit
>have about 1 or 2 days a month with real rest due to severe tiredness
What started this was all the expectations everyone had of me, they wanted me to be something so bad that i thought i wanted it to and now it feels like i cannot change the direction of where i am going, like you are stuck on the great sea, following the currents and the waves, not having anything to say about where you are going...

I hate how you guys seem to be the only people that I can talk to when Im really down.
Fuck you user.
*hug*

Starmie.

my brother got the same problem as me, and we feel like the only one we can talk to is each other, we understand each other, cause we are in the same boat

*Hugs back*.
Fuck you too, user.

meet*

Have you ever heard of something called sleep paralysis? Sound like you might have some trouble with that?
Also tried going to a doctor for your sleeping problem? Might be insomnia.
And you allways have the control to decide where you're going. Never forget that! If you feel like youre stuck in a cycle you cant escape. talk to people about it. Even if it is us anons over here. talking really helps.

Now I've begun, I'm not sure if I'm doing well.
Do this things numb us?

...

Mhm. Please continue

Well thats something right?
You got someone to talk to who understands you. Which is amazing!
I truely beleive talking is the first step to changing.

It's been a shit couple of weeks

The most painful way to die.

...

Don't get tired of me, please.

...

you're welcome
whoever posts this should just end it all

jesus.
that hit me too hard

...

...

when i ask for help people call me lazy and that sleep paralysis is a ridiculous idea and that it does not exist.
i guess, but it's not like we are getting anywhere

Don't suffer in silence, Paul.

Just go to a docter and tell him you really cant sleep and that it hurts your every day life. he is obligated to listen to your problem and try his best to fix it.

And atleast you know someone understands you and has your back. even though it might not feel like youre getting anywhere it still helps even though you might not realise it.

Open the door.

where is this from?

This is the exact reason I cant have pets.
I would be crushed if they ended up dieing.
I get too emotionally attached to other beings.
No mather if they are people or animal.
And the worst of it all, is that they allways end up leaving me.

The guy in the picture is Karl Pilkington, the show is An Idiot Abroad I believe.