What are some home alternatives for butt plugs?

what are some home alternatives for butt plugs?
ive already tried the end of a screw driver which works pretty well and a brush for cleaning the bath tub which kind of worked too. Both of which have since disappeared, and now I'm on the hunt again.

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etsy.com/ca/listing/220284505/butt-plug-dildo-bdsm-large-sex-toys-anal
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I don't mind a bunch of fish hooks if i have them lying around

Disappeared because they smelt like ass and your mother was sickened by your actions.

Try a carrot

nah my butt is clean boi
k i will get some right now

Bump

^^

Nice bait.

How the hell are they disappeared? Like, in your ass, or your mom got the assfucking idea from you and she uses those from now? Literally, where they are?

user literally needs to know the whereabouts of your two buttplugs

Just buy a god damn buttplug

im in on this. what can i put up my ass that wont hurt too much. ive tried several things none of which worked. my toothbrush fit nicely.
and yes i washed it beforehand.

I see, its a bit weird, but i mean come on, screwdrivers dont just dissappear! These are precious household tools, not just something you throw out. I suspect shitnuggets on the makeshift anal pleasure objects and i think OP is a liar about his ass cleanliness. Your parents know, OP and they think you are a dissappointment.

Buy a cucumber or zucchini

Why don't you get an actual buttplug you faggot. Cheaper than losing tools and cleaning supplies up your ass

this. so much this goddamn it.

i work in an ER and you won't believe the amount of times some random dude has jammed some random thing up his ass and can't get it out again and ends up in one of my cubicles.

just buy a goddamn plug; they're designed not to go all the way in for a reason....

How about a real purposely made butt plug, you weird fucking faggot

Try using your arm. You'd have to be pretty retarded to lose that

true

anything is a buttplug if youre brave enough

this, a carrot will get sucked inside, if you put it in the large side first.

Disappeared? As in your butt?
Anyway, alternatives suck. Get the one in your pic. Got one and it's great. Easy to clean and doesn't retain the anal stench like the silicon and gel ones do after long insertions. It's pretty entry lvl though, you'll quickly crave a fuller sensation.

you'd be a great OP

>both of which have disappeared

You ignorant twat, you have to take them out of your butt again!

>anal stench

Just hold out until you can get one. Preferably not of a toxic/irritating/porous material. A basic platinum cured silicone plug in medium size shouldn't cost you more than $30.

lube:

If (and only if) you won't be putting any latex condoms in there, you can use oil based lubes that don't dry out right away. Coconut oil works alright and is not too conspicuous. For water based lubes, I like Sliquid's stuff, because (at least the ones I've seen tested) are near-neutral pH, and near iso-osmolar so they don't cause much rectal cell death just by being there. Avoid silicone lubes with silicone toys. It becomes a sticky mess even if the manufacturer says otherwise. It may not become damaged, but it still gets sticky to the point of impeding insertion.

This. They're not expensive and totally worth it for pleasure, sanitation, and safety reasons.

Pic related -- one of the best butt-plugs in the medium-ish size range, usually only $20 on amazon. You can actually get one from their official website's grab bag section for only $23 right now.

Post pic fag

The problem with that one is the base is no wider than the bulb, so it can accidentally slip inside some holes.

Oops, forgot to mention the name. It's a Tantus Ryder. 100% silicone, very comfy.

Hand grenade.

Dubs names OP's future butt plug

Does anyone know where to get a good jewelled buttplug like this? One that's preferably both comfortable and large. I've been looking at etsy.com/ca/listing/220284505/butt-plug-dildo-bdsm-large-sex-toys-anal lately :3

Danny devito

Handle of a pizza cutter.

ginger root

idk. There's a flood of cheap ones from China made of potentially problematic materials. I don't know if you'd want nickel/chrome plating in your ass. Look around reddit.com/r/sextoys

table plate

nitrile glove, finger, lube, gay missionary position, vibrating want on dick, imagination

Shove an egg up there and be a chicken

Yeah $15 for actual steel seems too good to be true.

Ginger root works great and is an old home remedy of faggotry

I had. A g friend who used a carrot. I'd fuck her while she had it up her ass

If it doesn't have a "stopper" at the end, DON'T PUT IT UP YOUR ASS. There have been countless cass of people admitted to the ER because something they put in their ass slipped inside and they couldn't get it out. Anything you put in your ass needs to have a stopper which will prevent it from slipping inside. Unless you feel like explaining to a doctor why there's a screwdriver in your rectum that is.

Bonsai I thought you had a closet lined to the teeth with butt plugs.
How was the severed nigga head in the TN KFC?

Nigger