When I eat anything meat, I like to pretend that I personally hunted down and killed the animal it came from

>When I eat anything meat, I like to pretend that I personally hunted down and killed the animal it came from.
how autistic am i?

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>took me until 30 to figure out I'm better off wiping my ass sitting down rather than standing up and doing it.
can't be worse than me...

That's normal. I was up in a tree for 3 days with a makeshift chucking spear waiting for a wild basket of KFC to walk beneath and only had to pay $20.00.

reddit pls go

>2016
>eating meat
Go vegan, faggot

:( I worked hard on that joke

what is sitting down doing it normal?

i laughed for what its worth, user

Yeah, if you stand up the remaining poop gets smushed on your ass if you have any leftovers. If you stay sitting you clean it before it gets all over the side cheeks.

Im vegan

I bet you laugh like a madman before you bite it

Have you ever gone hunting or even killed an animal before you ate it?

Why do vegans always feel the need to tell everyone?

When I see a nature show and an animal kills another animal I get jealous and hungry. My mouth waters like crazy. When they show the animals eating their kill I get a lot more jealous and I want to kill the other animals and eat their food.

That's the whole point of being vegan.

>not personally hunting your food
kek

>pretend
Huntingfag here, git gud, learn to feed your family for minimal cost, + no hormone/chemical/whatever in your meat.

You're dabbling in being a real man. Good for you.

KFC comes in a bucket you cunt.

I just rub a bunch of kitty litter between my cheeks.

Oh look an autist has appeared.

> I can't tie shoes, I am afraid the strings will cut off my circulation. I have velcro sneaks

> I spoke french senior year and had my teachers call me "Pierre Placey" bc I was tricking everyone that I was an exchange student. Except it was gibrish, no one believed me and I failed my classes having to repeat.

> I hung out at Pizza Hut in town for 2 years thinking I would pick up babes. There was only two chairs and they finally kicked me out

> tumblr banned me for reasons

> my parents got me a lexus for my 16th. I didn't get my license until 20. They had to drive me to pizza hut every night

> I crashed the lexus my first hour driving it

> I've ran over 3 dogs

> I can't leave home without fucking something up so I just post here and wait for dinner from mom.

My problem is ass hair. It's like shitting through a net.

Get a body groomer.

Why did mlk feel the need to tell everyone?

The fuck is wrong with you?

Now I want to eat you

Looks like we got a vore fag here.

That's how I feel like when I see a nigger fucking anything

I tried shaving my ass once, the problem is when the hair grows back it is like walking with sandpaper between your cheeks. Even trimming too short is a problem. I can technically get rid of some of the length, but, a lot has to stay.

Only other option would be laser, but not even sure if they'll laser an asshole... or if that would be a good idea..

because he was a nigger

My Sup Forumsro, similar here except I have adamantium ass hairs. No toilet paper or wet wipes stand a chance.

Sounds like fun, actually.
It's more intellectually stimulating to think simulate things in your mind than it is to just eat.

youtube.com/watch?v=4q1dgn_C0AU

Being able to simulate is part of what makes us human, and better than other species.

It's also great to exercise your mind while you're still young, to build a better foundation of yourself or the future.

The brain of an adolescent is very plastic and able to create strong, lasting neuro-connections relative easily.
One's ability to strengthen one's aptitude is significantly reduced past the age of around 25 years.
After that, one's ability to strengthen one's bare basic ability to do things like memorize things, calculate, all other things stemming from that is just significantly reduced.
However, one's ability to recall stored information quickly and keep long-term memory is significantly increased.
Also, one can still learn and apply various techniques to improve one's ability of memorizing things and what not.
Knowledge, intelligence, and determination can compensate for each other.

youtube.com/watch?v=5KLPxDtMqe8
youtube.com/watch?v=hiduiTq1ei8

That shit made me laugh dude... Nice life. I used to work at Round Table, it wasn't so bad.. Drink beer and smoke weed not vape.

Actual body groomers that are contoured for various parts of the body take care of most of that as it doesn't necessarily get it down to skin just extremely close. If you used a face razor you get ingrown hairs and the stubble comes back all sharp and itchy. I don't have much ass hair though so it's not really a problem for me, but they do actually do laser ass hair removal. Not sure how comfortable I'd be with having a laser shot at my butthole though.

I need a bidet, but that won't help me shitting outside of the home.

Wet wipes help me, but it is still a problem.

What do you do? Hope you shit before a shower?

If you shave your ass you'll get ass stubble and it is absolutely awful feeling. Even a number 2-3 on a shaver is too close, it'll get very prickly.

Yeah the whole butthole laser thing is pretty creepy. I might be too afraid.

I've kept a pretty solid schedule, and yes shit before shower. I used to travel for business a lot, as soon as I got into the hotel room i'll call house keeping and ask for extra toilet paper

A body groomer isn't clippers or a razor, it uses rounded aluminum blades. You do get stubble but because of how the hair is trimmed it doesn't itch. When it cuts the hair it doesn't leave a sharp point so you barely notice any stubble. That's why I said body groomer and not a normal electric shaver, they work differently. If you have that much ass hair though you'd have to keep it up on a bi-weekly basis or so. My body hair grows super slow so I only bother with it every 6 months or so. They're water proof too so you can do it in the shower, you just have to get past the idea of shoving a vibrating trimmer between your cheeks.

Oh, interesting. Any recommendation of a brand to try?

how the fuck did your parents not tell you you were doing it the wrong way when you were a kid anyway?

I have a Phillips Norelco one. Cost around $70, I don't need to use it that often, but it's worth it for when I do. I used to use a normal face electric razor but they can tear your skin up sometimes and leave you with pointy stubble. A good body groomer is water proof and has rounded foil blades on a pivoting head so it contours to your body.

>how autistic am i
6.43/10 autist user, a bit more than average, but you're still ok

oh shit I never.. oh.. shit
user, this is bright now

I think my mom just put me in the bathroom and told me what to do and never found out. She didn't stick around.

I see it on Amazon. I don't see any mention of it preventing stubble but I'll read the reviews. I'm very nervous about getting that sandpaper ass again. It was painful.

>going bare back up that dirty tail pipe

Are you ok, user?
Do we need to find a facility for you?
Maybe a wrangler?

Because he wasn't talking about how he was better than everyone else for being a fucking faggot, that's why