> be me, user, 9 yrs old > at home on school day because sick > throughout day snot runs down my face. warm snot. > brilliant user gets idea > walk into kitchen and pour glass of milk > go into bathroom and walk up to sink > tip face, like the waterboard technique, but chin pointing upward > fucking pour milk down my nose > proceed to do this activity ever single day I was sick
Because of this stupid fucking idea, now when I get sick it's 10x worse.
Cooper Williams
Bump
Hudson Thompson
That's a fucking weird idea, OP. I don't see why it would make your cold/flu worse many years later though...
>be me, about 9 >waiting in the car while mum is in the fruit and veg market >get bored, get out of the car and look around >cars are parked front first against the side of the building, gravel turf >find a long piece of wire on the ground, pretty strong like a wire coat hanger >decide to tie one end of the wire to the licence-plate of the car next to ours, through one of the screw-holes, tied the other end around a metal drain-pipe running down the wall >highly unlikely the driver would have noticed it before reversing >mum comes back out and we leave
Sometimes I wonder what happened. Would have either ripped the number plate off the car or pulled the whole drainpipe off the wall.
Dylan Torres
Topkek
Leo Young
>Be 12 ish >find stolen car abandoned in woods while out with mate >decide to trash it, break windows bend the door right back try to rip it off etc, hours of fun >tell friends next day, and decision is made to all go back and set fire to it after school >go back with lighters and matches, no petrol cos 12 years old >attempts to to blow up car battery by attaching string to terminals and lighting them life fuses, cos 12 years old and stupid >eventually come up with genius idea of stuffing dried out leaves in all the broken lights >car now starting to burn away nicely, silly me says lets throw the battery in the boot >throw battery in boot, watch for a few minutes, run up the road to see friends mum has walked down to look for us, quickly make up story about some older boys from nearby council estate >battery explodes, we laugh and go home >get confronted by mum after friends mum phones her >cry, blame it all on chris as do other friends (sorry chris) >brag at school next day about how awesome it all was.
Elijah Perez
When I was very young I had no idea food could spoil. So I make myself a glass of chocolate milk and put it next to my nightstand, that way once the family vacation ended it'd be the first thing I tasted.
So when it actually happens, I'm half asleep from the car ride and don't notice the mold and shit, just go take a drink then curiously projectile vomit everywhere. I think I was sick for a good couple of days after that.
Parker Lopez
Trapped under a bouncy castle, almost suffocated, about 7
Jumped off a pier and almost drowned, dad saved me. Don't remember how old but younger than 7
Ran into a wall my dad was halfway through making, causing it to collapse on me and fracturing four bones. 11
School science class, given free reign to do project. Make and bring napalm bomb into school. Never got to set it off though.
Lost my virginity bareback to an older slut and got an std
Got my then-gf pregnant but she had an abortion because she'd started taking crack, 16. Took it myself 17-19
Matured around 20, not so much dumb shit since then.
Jason Wright
Kek. Being a 12 year old, smashing up a car with mates. Good times.
Julian Martin
Bump
Joshua Nguyen
>be 11 >best friend is also 11 >am introduced to older boy through best friend because they were neighbors >older boy is 17 >he asks if I've ever watched playboy >ask what playboy is (I was sheltered) >end up on internet, he shows me playboy >get boner >he says I can go jerk off in the restroom if I want >ask what jerking off is >he explains it to me >ask without even thinking about it first if he'd show me how because I didn't understand what he was telling me to do >he shows me >pull dick out and start doing it too >this becomes something we do at least once a weekend >eventually escalates to brojobs and fucking, though I only ever bottomed I never topped
Elijah Young
> Be 9 > Spider on roof > Get deodorant to knock it down > Crawls in between crack of door > Keep spraying but the bastard flattens out > Get electric racket and try hit it > Just to short and cant touch it > Want the spider to get up and run because it will touch the racket >Put racket on top of it and spray deodorant > It gets up and touches the racket. > Huge fireball erupts and engulfs bedroom > Left with barbecue smell, dead spider and no eyebrows. > worth it.
Jaxon Harris
probably put up enough resistance before breaking either thing that the driver noticed and got out to check it out
Dominic Scott
>be under 5 >find pillow >get pillowcase out of pillow >big cushion bigger pillowcase >get inside pillowcase >feelsgreatman.mp3 >start to panic >how the fuck do i get out of this >start to scream >try and rip pillowcase >fail >parents looking at me moving frantically >they don't even try to help me >i scream louder >can only see pillowcase >think i will die there >stop and accept my fate >parents get me out >i breathe heavily this blessed earthly air >lie down on bed >get back inside pillowcase >repeat the whole process
Juan Harris
> be me, 13 > was really into national socialism > sewed myself a nice swastika armband > take picture of myself with it and use it for my facebook profile > my geography teacher announces new project > It's about cultural exchange > I-wonder-who-could-be-behind-this post.jpeg > she says we can get a trip to other countries > I sign up for it, ofc > We have to make a registration at some webside > also have to provide profile picture > didn't have much pictures of myself > meh fuck it, I'll just use the armband picture > next day I get called in principle's office > they printed my picture and now show it to me > apparently some SJW bitch from Slovakia was leading the project > she got 200% mad so now our school might get kicked out of the project > Principle says I'm gonna probably be expelled > They start questioning me why I'm NS > Was pretty smart for a 13 y/o so I start redpilling them > I was also the best student of my class and all the teachers loved me > after 2 hours of interrogation I'm of the hook > This one teacher even wanted to give me books > says Hitler was actually paid by the jews to create the state of Israel. > Later that day geography teacher emails me > "How could you do this, user" > Instead of apologising for fucking up her project, I write her a 2 pages long rant about how this project is marxist bullshit > She can't believe it > Like I care > mfw >
Evan Powell
nice one
Elijah Perez
thefuck.png
Andrew Myers
You completely got away with it then?
Daniel Robinson
>Be me, about 13 >Mom is coming to pick me up from a friend's house >Said she would be coming in a Jeep >Waiting in parking lot >Whatever the time was, it was pitch black outside >Dead night cold empty parking lot >Jeep pulls up >Walk over to it >Decide to scare my mom >I look like a burglar, hoodie and all >Stand in driver side window >She's getting something from her glove box >She turns to see me >It wasn't my mom >Get peppersprayed
James Cook
Wish I was that 17 year old.
Joshua Rivera
>be in school >having a class about internet porn >teacher tells all the students ''okay kids, whats typical about internet pornography'' >i raise my hand > yes user? > i by some bizare reason says this >big cocks >class is silence for 2 seconds >she proceeds to write the word big cocks on the board >a class mate says this loud '' know we know what you look for'' >fuck everythone thought i was gay that day
Austin Gutierrez
> Be me, horny 14 yo > find out i can suck my own dick > try find just how far i can go > lips to pelvis, great success! > weird feeling in back, fuck it, kept going > disc slips in back > HORRIFIC AGONY. SCREAM IN PAIN. > Thank fuck nobody was home but me > unable to walk properly or straighten it. > By some miracle, it heals in a week. > lucky i didnt fucking paralyse myself by sucking my own dick.
Joseph Reyes
Pedo much?
Dominic Hughes
Kek
Ryder Wood
Wtf
Levi Garcia
> Be me like 10yrs old > starting to fap and all that alot > had a like metal necklace > one day in shower i decided to strangle my wee wee > feelsgood.jpg > get out of shower and see i have scars > still have the scars 11yrs later
Mason Collins
Vietnam veteran
Lincoln White
Best one I've read in a while
Hunter Perry
When I was 15 I fucked my 16 year old cousin. In my defence she Is rather hot
Chase Green
You probably won't believe this shit but it is 100% true
>be me in preschool/kindergarten >maybe 6-7 years old >have female friend that shows me her pussy every time we are together >start showing her my dick >she plays with mine, I play with hers >feels great man >attempt to touch our uglies together >both spread our legs in split position and press closer together >can't actually get things to touch because our legs are keeping us separated >hear adult coming and put clothes back on before we can come up with a solution >feels bad man
Jordan Murphy
You were a dumb kid
Cameron Taylor
Those early memories are some of the best.
Ian Brown
Fuck yeah. And still being able to remember what her pussy looked like >feels good man
Oliver Morgan
Would lay down in school bathroom and jackoff in the stall , wAs in 3rd grade
Josiah Adams
Cute.
Jacob Baker
>Made this pepe
Jack Hernandez
:(
Oliver Davis
Kek wtf
Jack Jackson
saved, thanks user
Nicholas Scott
>be me, 5 at home >have to take a shit >Go to bathroom >Door won't open >Go back to my room >Shit in drawer >Two days later mom is searching the house >Whydoesitsmellsobad.png >Find shit >Mfw