Feels thread

feels thread

i don't feel anything anymore

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Not after missing those quints you dont

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>abusive, neglecting and alcoholic family
>grow up, develop severe depression and social anxiety
>i'm currently on 5 different medication only for depression
>mfw it's not working
>mfw I attempted a suicide few weeks ago
>first boyfriend cheated on me
>the second used to hit me, beat me up only because ''he is the leader'', I still love him
>he broke up with me....
>consider suicide daily

bumping

How did you attempt suicide?

allahu ackbar!!!

First time, in my 17's I wanted to jump off a tall building....I ended up on the roof pussying out

Second one: I bought a strong rope, literally swallowed all of my medication, more than 150 pills and tried to hang myself....my parents were up in the middle of the night so I decided to try again later...ironically they were up every time I went out to hang myself.

After that I was sedated in a bad,negative annoying way and I felt intoxicated due to overdose...I couldn't do shit for a week but stay in bed half-conscious.

Help Sup Forums
> always set ridiculously high standards for myself
> even if I succeed, I'm never happy, I always end up setting the bar so high that I'm just depressed, lethargic and frustrated at the end
> if people give me positive feedback, it gets even worse ("I don't deserve this" - "Why would someone say something like that to me")

It started three years ago (had a similar episode when I was ten years old) and it just doesn't get better

I got diagnosed with OCPD, any experiences/tips?

Fuck, man.
Have you been diagnosed with something? Tried a monitored stay in a psychiatric ward?

Yes, of course I was diagnosed, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get medication.
Severe depression , social anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and attachment disorder(i get attached way too fast).
I'm in therapy but nothing seems to work...I can't handle the pain anymore

I don't think you really want to die then. Which is probably a good thing, ditch that faggoty abuser and put all your effort into making money, friends, family, and fitness. It will pan out, the business staves off the depression at least in short periods while you work it out

>in my 17's

Sup anons I'm here @ home let's chat, I'll read your OC feels

Fucking hell.
I recommend staying in a mental hospital for some time, if you're able to get help 24/7, it might improve your treatment.

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There are times where I literally can't breathe due to intense emotional pain and crying....other times I'm dull and confused.

I tried to get out, make friends, I did but after a short period of time I lost the need to go out, socialize, talk to people....I just don't feel the need to get out.

He dumped me because of my depression...I told him I felt suicidal but he let me die and ignored me completely...It seems like he's better off without love and caring.

It's worse than hell, my family is always drunk and bully me, I only want love and affection...I never knew worshiping and treating your partner like a god would push him away...I never knew love could do that...

>autism

I read your story user, I have experience with setting high standards and never feeling complete with positive feedback but not in a diagnosed way, I'm not medical professional so I don't want to misguide. All I can say is keep trying, which is bad advice.

When youre depressed and don't know what to do with life you remember everything by the month, not year.

Well it's not fair to try and trap him with the suicide card either. He has a right to happiness as much as you do. If it's as bad as you're saying then I would side with the user that suggested going to a mental hospital if at all possible. Sounds like you could use a pro

the edge is real on this one

Believe me user, there are a lot of partners for the overly attached, the ones who want to dedicate their whole life to one person...and there are a whole lot more than you think.
But the person primarily standing in your way at the moment, as I see it, is yourself. And you won't solve this problem by killing yourself (then you will only stump the pain, but also stump all love you could be able to ever get). Go get professional help and hand yourself over to a psychiatric ward for a period of time. If nothing gets better, hardly spoken, there will be still time to kill yourself afterwards.
But you will never know if you don't try.

Yeah, thats what you got.
Trying to make others, especially family feel better isnt anywhere near autism

i hope it wont get to this point with my son.

i'm sure the gifts/letters i send him never get to him though.

one fucking time i yelled at her. one fucking time. and that's all it took. no custody, no rights, not even phone calls.

Why is that a bad thing?

if you have to ask you won't understand

That isn't edge user, its life.
If youre young and dont feel this way yet.... Enjoy it while it lasts

My heart is broken, all I did is love and care for him.
There were times where he hid so many things from me...times where he would hit me for no reason at all until I was crying....one time I told him I forgot my keys and he beat me up to the point of me crying and him keep hitting me...
And after all these I still love him but he dumped me and he didn't even try to fix our relationship...maybe he did me a favor for leaving me...maybe sooner or later I would've ended in hospital due to his beatings...

I'm the most loyal and lovable person, open and I admit every one of my issues and try to fix them....Why would I go to a psych ward?
I mean, they will still treat me like a rat lab with antidepressants, antipsychotics/antiepilepys for depression....I was like : I'm not schizofrenic nor epileptic but then doctor said they're used to treat depression too.

The only thing that makes me get over all these things are benzos :(

I try every day. And believe me, there are days where things are a little bit better. But ultimately, I don't know if this whole attitude of "I've got to achieve more and more" and "I've got to try every day" just isn't another manifestation of my obsession.
I've read a little bit about OCPD, and at the centre is always, just as with OCD, one or more obsessions which occupy your whole everyday life. But there's one difference: people with OCD know that these obsessions are bogus, while OCPD people truly believe in them and have their whole belief system centred around them, making it near impossible to cure.
I've got that with this belief that I really, really want to be good at something. And to be terribly honest, sadly I still believe in that a hundred percent. It's hard to stop a bad habit, but it's infinitely harder deleting half of your personality.
I don't really know anymore what it means to be happy or sad. I can't remember the last time I cried or laughed heartily. My mental capacity is far too occupied with my obsession.

Yeah he sounds like shit good riddance. Now just because you're crazy and this is a feels thread, does not mean you're exempt from the rules. Tits or gtfo

>youre

>dubs never lie

I'm a trap so no tits :/

You don't understand. Being open and admitting your problems is a good thing, and the first step - but only the first step. If nothing gets better after that, you still are in need for help, just like everyone else.
And you seem to have a distorted view of psych wards...nowadays they do help their patients with individual caring, not just "treat them like a rat"

Fuck you

Time to gtfo then

Fuck you fag
>My dad left my mum as she was giving birth to me
>mum has mental breakdown when i'm 2
>social services take baby me away
>put in carehome
>never adopted
>learn to play guitar
>music keeps me sane
>nobody will adopt me
>practicing guitar keeps me sane
>14 years of moving care homes
>16yr old
>get put into 'foyer' government issued
shelter for poorfags
>I get a volunteer job at a recording studio
>start playing gigs and loving the recording
>spend few years from age of 17-21 playing gigs letting music take up my life
>start to get ringing in my ears worse than normal
>tinnitus that usually lasts for a day max
>lasting for longer and longer
>go to doctor when it wont stop after 4 days
>doctor says i'll be deaf by partially if not fully deaf by the time i'm 30.

I don't know if anyone will read or care about this but it fucking sucks. Just nice to actually get it off my chest anonymously instead of complaining to someone irl and passing my problems to them.

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Congratulations you can spell, well done you

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Tits and timestamp or gtfo whore.

Read You imbecile

>sad picture of a Turkish soldiers
The feels

Still a whore.

requesting the image in this screenshot, if anyone has it.

thanks.

that fucking sucks man.
Being taken away the one thing you are proud of by fucking chance would absolutely destroy me.

no u

Fuck off with your blogposting, I'm here to feel

you're a fucking inconsiderate idiot, and a newfag. Nowhere did she fucking explicitely state she's a woman, she just fucking mentioned having had a boyfriend, which automatically excludes here from the "tits and gtfo" rule (only applies to anons who explicitely state they're a woman, so that they can receive attention from fucking white knights who want to get with them).
You don't understand anything.
Fuck you.

user its good to set the bar up for yourself but its not good to set it so high every time.

baby steps. you can't do a triathlon in a day. you need to train up to it. you'll succeed more often if you make your goals easier.

i quit Sup Forums/weab activity 2 weeks ago because i figured 4chin is one of the reason im still depressed and can't move and killing my socializing skills
here i am again got more depressed af no friends to talk to just my mom

>not a neet, i go to college

youre, as in You're or You Are

Are you retarded? Thats the correct use.

No, it doesn't you fucking white knight.

I know, I know.
But the problem is that once I start anything, I always get frustrated because I'm not getting as far as fast as I want. These baby steps are exactly the problem, because I'm incredibly impatient.
But you are absolutely right that I should do it that way.

lurk more, fucking retard.

Are you me, user?

Do you have experience with OCPD?
I've been trying for eternity finding someone with the same problems

Let's bleed these feelings out, shall we?

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Don't die on me, please.

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i am in my 50's. OP's story is about 90% my story. Turned out that my mother knew exactly why my father left but said she didn't. Also she knew where he was but said she didn't. She even secretly went to visit him to make demands several times and said she had no idea. 22 years passed and to me not a word from or about him. Meanwhile he was told to not have contact with us while I was told nobody knew a thing. Then he got sick and died. I saw him again in my 30's but he didn't know who I was too sick at that point. It didn't all sink in at any point but I was cheated out of a relationship with him. I blame women. And yes, I am a fag and most likely this is not unrelated. Now it's all too late to fix. So I don't feel much of anything about it AND have toughened up to adapt --as some must to survive.

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Sorry, but probably not. If I do then it hasn't been diagnosed. However, I really can relate to always setting the bar way too high

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that broke me

everybody who wants to help in the Elisa Milicent Sinlair Case, feel free to personal army.
Thread plant for tomorrow around 12 am est

bump

Women do this to men a lot more than society is willing to acknowledge. I'm 40 years old. A few years ago my then wife got pregnant after years of trying and I was very happy. We already had a boy, and found out it would be a girl. She has the baby and the first day back from the hospital I couldn't put her down. I just wanted to hold her. A week later I come home from work to an empty house. It's literally empty, only my television, ps3, and easy chair was left behind. No note. Calls went to voice-mail. Texts not being returned. In my denial, I called the cops thinking she was kidnapped. They come over along with my brother and they sat me down and told me what they think happened. She left you user. B-but, we just had a baby. A few weeks later I get a text from her saying the baby wasn't mine and she went to stay with family while she "figures things out". Months later I find out that she was living with the guy and was living a double life through Facebook, had all different friends, including this guy's family, and was going by her maiden name. The divorce is messy, she claimed abuse. My word against hers. I even had character witnesses. Court sides with her, gives her full custody, slaps me with child support, and gets permission to leave the state. She won't let me see or talk to my son. He'll grow up thinking I didn't give a shit about him. Probably won't care if I die. That's how it is. All due to cunting women. Nobody takes our side, the man's side. It was automatically my fault. I was inadequate. There must have been a reason, people say. A woman doesn't just up and commits adultery. No, I say. They don't. She planned it for awhile. It makes you doubt people. Yourself. Years later and I found a woman who is so different, so much more emotionally available than my ex wife, and I started to see the signs that I ignored for years of just putting up with her constant shit. But I'm still not over what happened.

i know that feels.

Damnit thread, don't you die on me!

feels bump

fuck

Bump
Plz don't 404

It's like, I don't want to hate all women. But women are cunts. And it's hard to find one who isn't. I don't want to be a hermit for the rest of my life, so I get into these relationships where the chick is really into me, they tell me I'm such a great guy and they don't understand why my ex did that to me and they spend the next year or so trying to convince me they're not like her. On one hand I feel vindicated, like...im a great guy so my ex is the fucked up one. You do that, you try to rationalize it by telling yourself you can be a hard man to be with because you have certain quirks. But everyone has quirks. And these chicks are really good to you, but you end up hurting them after awhile because it's so hard to settle back down. And at my age (40), chicks are wanting to get married. Many of them for their second time. Is it easier for them, or am I just not meant to do the whole marriage thing again? In 4 years since, I've had 3 relationships, all lasting 9 months to a year and everytime they hint about marriage, or moving in together, my flight instinct kicks in. And they were all decent chicks. And now I'm the one hurting them and I feel even shittier.

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Shit. I want in m8. I'll be there.