Do you care what people think about you ?

Do you care what people think about you ?

Not as much as I used to. It's probably the only benefit to getting old.

This.
A year ago i cared a lot but today, i just.. fuck it

i like to sleep with me draws on and shit naked so... i dont think i care what ppl think abt me anymore

I care what *some* people think about me.

There are a few whose opinions do matter to me. I can count those one one hand. Everyone else I'm pretty indifferent about.

If you do it right you gain confidence and wealth as you get old too.

Yes and no. I still care how people perceive me so I can improve myself socially, be more attractive and all but if someone doesn't like me or what I do or my interests and such idgaf.

Yeah. Constantly. It's a tiring and unhealthy way of life.

I care what select people think about me. Bosses, managers, family elders. I don't give a fuck about what anyone inferior to me thinks.

HA!... Just a little bit. We are social creatures so we evolved to care what others think but you shouldn't take it so seriously.

...

I take that as a compliment, my friend.

Narcismfag here, it pretty much takes up all of my time and energy

...

Only those I'm emotionally invested with on some level.

I just turned 30 and I care about what I'm projecting to others. People do see what they want to see, but you can take advantage of film language to dress yourself and "set dress" your rooms. It's scary how often we're suspending disbelief in life and not just during movies.

it is human nature to care about what other people think of you. the only thing you can really do is limit or suppress how much you care.

I claim that I don't, but in reality I stop myself from 95% of everything I want to do cos I'm worried about someone, anyone's opinion of my actions.

And naturally I assume people will think the worst of me.

> inb4 underage

Nope, 27 with severe mental issues.

Yes i do
> inb4 faggot

Yes, social phobia/avoidant personality disorder.
How do you normal (confident) people not cringe at your embarrassing interactions.

Bump for interest as a fellow avoidant sufferer. I get embarassed when people around me do cringey shit.

There's just the idea that we all are cringeworthy at times. It all comes down to accepting that no one is perfect. To realise that you're cringeworthy when you try stuff, and to realise that it's all okay because we all have our cringeworthy moments makes interacting much easier. Over time and habit, you get over it and you make yourself feel better by laughing over it. I've seen people even take pride in it. Not saying you should be proud about cringeworthy stuff you do, it's just an example of how people deal with that.

Not so much worried what they think but very aware of potential backlash.

For example, I'm 24 and live with my mother while I'm in law school. My cousin is 28 and rents the apartment next door from my mother for her and her daughter while she goes through her divorce and is trying to restart her life.

My mother is convinced that there's something between us. Normally, I wouldn't really give a shit. It's not true so who cares. The problem is, it seems like she's trying to spread the word throughout the family and turn us into pariahs. Again, not much of an issue: if someone will turn on us on the word of one person without actually having proof or knowing the truth then I don't really want to deal with them. The problem is, I think my mom's doing it so that she can kick one of us out but not have to worry about what the family will think (she does care what they think about her).

So no, I don't care what people think but I do care if what they think is going to actually have a negative impact on my life.

Is your cousin hot though? Pics?

yes of course
anyone who says they don't is fucking lying

Thanks for the honest reply, user. It definitely makes sense, and that's how I reconcile everyone else being cringeworthy at times.

My biggest issue is I hold myself to a higher, impossible standard. Everyone else is allowed to have flaws, but if I fuck up even once, my knee jerk reaction is to disappear in a multistate move.

Yes. I actually enjoy making a good impression, or faking to get a good reaction from people. Not in an "accept me pls im so beta" way, I simply realized that it's easier to get support in doing what you want if you get on the good side of people.

For example, I'd want to roast my gf's parents straight back to the shithole village they were born in in the 60s. Do I do that? Nah, I dress well and act respectful when I meet them so I can continue banging their daughter.

I want to fuck my boss' face up. Again, I don't do that because I need him to get me a promotion. When I got this job, I spent nearly all my money on a nice suit and a haircut. I wanted to get drunk af, but I didn't, I made a good impression, and now I have a salary that allows me to get drunk af whenever.

This is how life works. What people think of you is important. We need others to succeed or provide the means to do what you want. People who say shit like "Idc what they think fuck em" have no idea how many opportunities they've ruined by acting like a stupid teenager. If people think highly of you, you go higher.

As much as this clashes with my ideals, user has a point.

Wise words user

No. Not one bit. I live in the moment, couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me.

>My biggest issue is I hold myself to a higher, impossible standard. Everyone else is allowed to have flaws, but if I fuck up even once, my knee jerk reaction is to disappear in a multistate move.

Same here, only to a lesser degree. One friend of mine said something very interesting, which, I think, really is a good lesson in life.

If you put everything in perspective and get a sense of relativism into your life, you'll end up realising that those standards you set yourself are nothing but personal ideals, but Man doesn't live or thrive on ideals. I've personally realised that very concretely when I noticed that I was stressing myself into an early grave for things that are, in the great scheme of things, of relative irrelevance.

As for the kneejerk reaction, the idea that we only have one life seems to work against that in a way. As long as you don't fail, you feel good if you're in a group, right? Then you fail and you just go back to thinking that you're worthless and that you shouldn't try? Consider that if you have only one life, this kneejerk reaction is stopping you from enjoying life to the fullest. It seems an obvious point, but I believe that, once you understand that, truely, deeply, you've got yourself a big fat load of motivation. It's a bit like suicidal thoughts for those who can still go back and live. You've taken too much damage, and you want the easy way out. But then you realise the easy way out is the worst way. You realise you don't want to die. But if you're going to live, you'll have to go through some shit. But it'll be worth it.
Same thing with social interactions.
No matter how much you fuck up, going back is still a better option than to crawl back in your room, never to leave it again. The very reason why you tried and failed is because you don't want, in your heart of hearts, to be alone. So listen to yourself and go fight yourself. Over and over again, until you get it.

You're either an irrevokable fuckwit or a goddamned liar.

Very true, but I ask, isn't there a limit to this? I'm 27, past the age of accepted brain development so it stands to reason I might always be like this.

It's goddamn difficult for sure. I dunno, maybe it's genetic for me. My dad has been on SSI sonce he was 35 for agoraphobia and claustrophobia. He just stays in his house endlessly, having to take extra klonopin if he goes out to the market.

It's very hard not to look at him, then myself, and feel that's my inevitable future.

Also, to realise that your standards don't matter to the rest of the world helps, I think. To realise that, by simply striving to go in that direction, you already elevate yourself above many people around you might help make concessions. People will love you as long as you bring something for them, being fun, a comforting shoulder, a patient ear or just a fresh, special personality... Really anything. It's surprising how people can actually get themselves to love you on stuff you didn't expect to be relevant in any way.

Nope. Tip for anyone who wants a short cut: psychedelics.

I suppose, and I have seen it first hand.

Every time I have suddenly quit school, everyone seems so shocked.

I did it at Boise State University and again at San Antonio College.

And people where shocked when I moved to Texas then back to Idaho seemingly on a whim.

Maybe I feel this way cos I literally need constant validation. I am fucked up after all. Every time I was geared to leave somewhere, people would tell me all the positive shit they thpught about me and I'm thinking 'well if you didn't until NOW to say it, this might not be an issue'.

Fuck I don't know. The only thing I do know is I am to blame for my erratic behaviour.

>I'm 27, past the age of accepted brain development so it stands to reason I might always be like this.

This might seem foolish to you (iit does sound that way to me sometimes), but hope is the next best things to actual results you can get. If you just write yourself off as being beyond redemption for any reason, there's no way you'll actually achieve anything.
I don't believe you're going to stay the way you are because you've reached a certain age. There's a fuckload of books people wrote because they had a sudden change of heart at some point in their lives. George Carlin had a big realisation when he was in his thirties, why would you not be the same? You're just as human.
The thing is, making yourself a better person is one of the hardest things you can imagine. Even for people much younger than you, it's difficult. There are things that cannot change. I don't expect you'll ever be outgoing and super confident and shit, but if you work your way through, you might get to a result that makes you feel like your life is more fulfilling than it used to be. Don't set goals too high for yourself. Just having a small group of friends (three to six people), that would be an achievement in and of itself. We clearly all have our limits.

Agoraphobia and claustrophobia? Has he never consulted a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
It seems that phobias generally come from an unresolved conflict...I'm not a psychologist myself, I've only had a few lessons on how the human brain works, but if there's something that incapacitating,I have a hard time believing there's no way to get out of it.
Then again, it's very complicated. Phobias are a way to cope with something else, which means he might not be ready to face the thing that's actually troubling him, that might be something very old, going back to his childhood...I don't know.

Well whatever it was, my dad drank the reason away. He is constantly losing the battle against severe alcoholism and swears up and down he never did anything wrong; it was everyone else's fault.

I have been trying little by little. I have had great experiences in my life (travelled to Taiwan and Hawaii multiple times, and am planning a trip to Reykjavík), and have done some great ableit personal things (composed a song for my Grandma who was dying from leukemia. She got to see a recording of the performance before she died).

I do feel like I have gotten a lot further than I have ever imagined. I wosh I could appreciate it more. :/ O haven't stopped trying entirely yet, but you're right, it is fucking difficult.

>I suppose, and I have seen it first hand.
And it's always very difficult to believe, isn't it? You're just asking yourself why they're lying to you so that you stay?

> 'well if you didn't until NOW to say it, this might not be an issue'
This makes me think you have a hard time reading into people. Am I wrong? They probably had many ways to show you their affection, but they rarely actually make it clear and you never saw them...

>I literally need constant validation
Have you grown in an environment where you were always expected to prove yourself, or your skills were constantly doubted?
I've heard this is a trait typical of young people, at work at least. That's because of a lack of experience. When you know how things usually happen, you can see where you actually fuck up and where you don't...

I care if they want me to be an hero

Nope. Fat guy too. My fiance's mom and sister come over sometimes and I'll be in my underwear. I don't give a fuck. I go get the paper or take the trash to the road without a shirt on. I don't shave for weeks at a time and let my beard get wild as fuck. Fuck what other people think. I've got a good woman, a good job and I'm happy.

mah nigga

>swears up and down he never did anything wrong; it was everyone else's fault.
Yeah, that's just straight up denial. That's the worst, I think. If you don't even aknowledge that you fuck up, you're just dead.

Yeah, just stop and sit down to look back at all the stuff you've done already once in a while :) Great boost for your morale, every single time.

I'm saving this shit.

You sound like a miserable, pathetic fuck hiding under a cover of badassery. I'm pretty sure under all that you're insecure as shit and you drink yourself to sleep every night.