Sup fuckers what's the easiest way to end up in the hospital not dead? like broken bone etc...

Sup fuckers what's the easiest way to end up in the hospital not dead? like broken bone etc. I want to get some fucking painkillers

>get a cyst removed
>spar with a blackbelt and tell him not to go easy
>play bloody knuckles with a brick wall
>do nothing but play video games in a shitty chair for 7 years and get scoliosis
>etc

I tried playing bloody knuckled with a brick wall my hand was only bruised for a couple of days and swollen

I was in a really bad car accident, you can try that if you want

and fuck up my car? Hell no

One time i was laying in bed and my ankle started hurting worse than if i were to shit out a watermelon. I had basically pinched a nerve somewhere in the joint. It was unbearable so i told my mom I need to get to the ER and get some painkillers right fucking now. Stopped hurting on the way there. Pretended it still hurt when i saw the doctor. Free vicodin. Only like 10 pills though.

I also broke my ankle one time skateboarding and i got a ton of oxy from that.

All you need to do is say you're in pain and back it up with some good acting

Anything with your back honestly. That shit lasts forever.

i don't want a permanent injury

Just walk into the ER walking stiff as a board and tell them you hurt your back lifting something heavy. Tell them you tried both Ibuprofen and tylenol 6 hours ago and had zero relief.

youre a fucking idiot i hope you die trying to get those painkillers
>you wont need them anymore

try to hit yourself,if you do it hard enoug you will break a bone.

this
same shit happens with whip lash. If you 'feel' pain then it must be real

>dy knuckled with a brick wall my hand was only bruised for a couple of days and swollen
>>>
> Anonymous 06/24/16(Fri)02:05:45 No.691230827▶
>I was in a really bad car accident, you can try that if you want

I used to go into the hospital with intense abdominal pain, my intestines liked to freak the fuck out once every couple months, and they'd spasm all day. They'd give me a demerol after I waited 5+ hours, but I doubt that's what you're looking for, lol. A walk in clinic I went to prescribed me 30 Demerol when I told them I had that reoccurring problem that was wasting ER time once every 3 months for years.

Break off your dick, might work
Do it jerking off, it'll be funnier
Pics to help with that

Break it off with glory, OP

Easiest way, Jump off a fucking roof.

Cheapest way is to definitely not fuck your self up, and go find a nigger selling them. No hospital bill, no hospital stay, and no doctors, who ALWAYS suspect drug seeking behavior, always check you medical history, and will give you the weak shit first and only give you the good shit if you very obviously need them.

You really need to re-think your approach. Also take it from me, you dont want to fuck with that shit to begin with. Have a drink. Go to sleep.

what do you want the painkillers for?

He's gonna break off his dick, he's gonna need'em

just OD on poppy seed tea

start a fire then stick your hand in for awhile like you fell into the pit.

tell the dr you fell in trying to put another log into the fire

all you have to do is say you pulled a back muscle and cant stand or walk right. i did this and got vicodin.

i was really in pain, but there really isnt a test for pain.

how could I actually pull my back out?