I'm going to move to china soon.. Gona teach English. I have no degrees, no skills, and am a pimp...

I'm going to move to china soon.. Gona teach English. I have no degrees, no skills, and am a pimp. Mainly going over there to get drunk asf and bag as much asian tail as I can. Shanghai or bejing? Also, anyone done this before and have experience with it?

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You know Chinese? If not, how are you going to actually teach English to Chinese talking people?

enjoy your aids

Nope. You don't need to know it. -- I have no clue how I'm going to. I know "ni hao" and that's it.. I don't even think I spelt that right.

Aids is for people who share needles and get assfucked.

>You don't need to know it.
You serious m80?

If you don't know how to translate English to Chinese, there's no way you can actually teach people any English. They won't know what you're saying, unless you point at an object and say the English word for it. But such teaching is way too limited. No one would pay for a teacher like that.

Dude, they do. I think they put a Chinese translator in the room.. Which I know seems like it kinda defeats the purpose, but it's legit. Shit tons of people do it. It's all about being white, and being a native English speaker.

Well seems weird but good luck then.

>there's no way you can actually teach people any English.

Bullcrap. Native speaking with only a few words added for vocabulary lists and such is the best way to learn actually speaking a language. That is for the most part how I learned English in German school, that is how babies all over the world learn language, and that is how we teach refugees German in the free language course of our Church.

I know alot of people who have done it and loved it.
from what i understand they know alot of basics coming into the class

Yeah I kinda figured they'd already know a good amount. That's awesome man, I love to hear that. I'm getting really pumped and nervous over this, so, that was kinda calming.

you should know that you're the guy people in china hate. I lived there for two years. I have friends there still, they are seriously cracking down on fake english teachers, like yourself, and are checking all Laowai for passports CONSTANTLY, because of the upcoming g20 summit in china. It is the worst time to go there. prepare to be stopped by the police all the time. Get your visa in order, or be deported.

Vocab list.. Nice. I think that'd be a good tool.

People say shit like that all the time and have for years. We both know good and well thats shit. Police don't fuck with foreigners. Yeah, they'll check my passport, but I'm going in with a fake degree so everything is chill. Not worried about that shit at all. You're just pissed off there's a shortcut

You know tyrone, china has the death penalty for drugs.. so remember that when using them rocks.

>fake degree

Dat bait.

White as they come. Already kicked the heroin, and ready to come. I know it sounds niggerish, but I've been around and been able to bring my friends with me. Recently got back from belize, shit was cash. I'm not a complete waste, just like.. 70-90%

>Police don't fuck with foreigners
>Executes more foreigners then all other countries combied..

This ain't no fucking jackie chang movie.

Shanghai was my favorite city when I visited over there.

... Obviously you've never been over there then if you think that's bait, that's retardedly common.

Huh..I didn't know that. Americans though? I doubt it. I'm not gona be smuggling drugs in or out, so I suspect I should be fine.

You're gonna get lung cancer and end up in a Chinese prison for breaking some shitty law.

People that teach English in major cities are looked down on. Sorry but no pussy for you. You'll need to go to the north west for that.

China executes everybody that commits a crime punishable by death, no seperation made between chinese and foreigners.. and you can get executed for over 60 crimes,

lol ur gonna get lung cancer

Thanks, I was leaning towards Shanghai. Seems really fun there.

You think? I don't wanna get stuck in a small shit town with only busted looking bitches. Hate to sound arrogant but I'm not worried about my status.. I look good, so I think I'll do fine either way. Where would you suggest though?

Xian might be a good middle ground.

Also, Bejing is awful. You will have a layer of sot on your skin by the end of the day.

Honestly you went into this autism first without knowing facts and just going on things you think are true

Thousands of people go teach English in Asia with knowing only English. It's common

.. That's. Fucked. I've heard the air is shit, but that sounds fucked. -- have you been there? How did you like it? - is bagging asian bitches as easy as I've heard? Thanks much, looking up that city now

1.6 Million each year die of polluted air

Meh, I've smoked for the last 9-10 years on and off. My lungs are already fucked.

I've been all over China. Met a Chineese chick in grad school and we got married so I don't have any experience as a single guy over there but you will draw attention, good or bad, even in the cosmopolitan cities. People from smaller cities will want to take photos with you. I had some people follow me around a grocery store in my wife's hometown. A lot of girls save themselves for marrage so banning them is tantamount to getting engaged so be careful.

That is some interesting advice. Never heard that before. That seems like it could be problematic..I appreciate the heads up. Maybe I'll make somthing up about my twin brother hahah.

I can say this. Spitting game over there is more laid back. Compliment girls on their clothes and get a some laughs with some innocent humor. After a few group outings with her friends is solo date time and take it from there.

I'm really excited about this, I've done a fair amount of research and feel confident that I belong there. - anything you wish you knew before going over there? Like how the toilets are fucked and deodorant is rare (so I've heard)

Depending on where people are from their concept of acceptable social behavior can be wildly different. Spitting can be common. The food can be fucking wild. I ate snake and rat a few times. Don't slick your chopsticks into your bowl of rice. Lay them across the top. Travel with some wipes and the squatting toilets suck. The beer and booze also suck but you can find decent whiskey in the cities.

Also, it's a forced drinking culture. So drink when your host drinks and toasting buy clinking you glass with all the men at the table happens during the entire meal.

Another thing, if you tell somebody that something in their house is nice they will try to give it to you. No joke.

My friend is doing the exact same thing atm, being a white guy native speaker (not from english speaking country, but they don't mind), and he says that China is hell on earth sometimes. People acting crazy by our standards, like yelling in the middle of the street to get lay off steam, kids taking shit in the subway, no one cares.

I don't think he got any tail there since he has a gf at home, but whites attract a LOT of attention, once you learn a bit of chinese you might notice that sometimes people just point at you at the street and yell "White guy!"

Unless you black, then I dunno. Might happen even more I guess?

Anyway, you're in for a hell of a ride. Check air pollution levels of the city you want to visit and buy a gas mask if neccessary. Godspeed user!

True, I saw a 4 year old kid drop trow and take a shit on the sidewalk in Bejing.

Also, pick pockets are EVERYWHERE!!

Have fun in a shit country, enjoy your lack of freedoms, don't say anything against the CCP or you'll disappear forever; or best, be charged with conspiracy against the government, be coerced into a video confession and die in an organ harvesting prison.

im here right now man! youre making a great decision. I just signed on for another year. tons of pussy and its so easy to get if youre a decent looking foreigner. as far as beijing vs shanghai im not to sure, they are both pretty expensive. ive never been to beijing but Shanghai was awesome. also the air quality is shit in beijing thats definitely something to consider

Oh, if you don't try to negotiate price with a street vendor it's considered an insult.

also dont listen to the people who have never been here talking shit about china. you will have way more freedom than you do back home, trust me

Holy shit. I've learned a lot here. - they really don't care about fake degrees and stuff I'm guessing? It just seems like they wouldn't bother. - I've lived some places like Haleigh (Miami) where fucking everyone only spoke Spanish, and I lived through that, but, I feel like this is going to be more intense.

Idiot.

Shanghai has professional women who are more liberated sexually. But in some places Chinese guys won't even consider being with a girl if they know she's been with a white guy.

in the past they didnt really care but they are starting to crack down on it more now. but there are tons of people working right now on fake degree, no degree, etc

This is what I wanted to hear. Lots of people with fake degrees or teaching without them I'm guessing? I've read lots on that. -- is teaching the kids easy?

You will get deported if you get caught with no degree, as of 2013 its a requirement to teach English as a foreigner.

yeah its super easy, you will definitely get the hang of it. if they are primary school kids you will basically be playing with them or teaching them a few words. my friend works at a kindergarten and it sounds really easy. i teach teenagers after school and its really chill. they mainly just want to bullshit and ask about your life

Getting deported really isn't that bad. What, I might sit in jail a night or two, but they arnt going to beat me up or anything, I doubt it at least.

hahaha you clearing have no knowledge of teaching languages

cracked.com/personal-experiences-1940-china-one-place-american-teachers-are-treated-as-stars.html

I taught English in Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City for 6 months, if you've ever been backpacking to SEA you'd know that most people either teach English there to fund their travels or do aways in Aus and NZ.

You need no knowledge of teaching or the native language, all you need is a degree and they much prefer native speakers and white people.

actually i completely agree with you, i meant to reply to the guy you replied to.

This is what the fuck I wanted to see. Thank you. They really don't care if you stay fucked up?

I'm going to teach English to adults in Beijing next month, just waiting for my Visa papers to come in. I don't know about all these people saying you can do it with a fake degree. I had to get my degree notarised, show it to my recruiter, show it to the Visa people. I want to do a year in China for the work experience and then go somewhere a bit nicer - maybe Japan or Korea

I know a notary who'd lie for me. Thank god.

Do you have a job lined up? I had two interviews before I got the job in Beijing. It's not easy, they ask you lots of grammar questions, teaching methodology questions. You couldn't bullshit your way through it

I just sent in to get my passport refuckulated. That's proper English right? -- I've taken lots of college English classes an have an associates degree, but, pretty worthless as far as that goes. I'm pretty good at bullshitting though..

china is a fucked up place good luck

Nice. I'm going to Kyrgyzstan as well, going to teach English for half a year there.