Hey Sup Forums

Hey Sup Forums,

I'm 20yo and have been diagnosed with BPD, severe depression and ADHD.

I'm feeling like answering some questions some of you might have about that stuff.

Pic is just some pic I took which fits the mood.

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What date should I put on your head-stone user?

I've been majorly depressed for over half my life
I still can't deal with it
How do you?

Well, I don't.
I'm currently barely alive and just do the things I have to in a robotic kind of way, as not to completely drive against the wall.
(Mostly because that would mean that I'd have to go live with my mother again, and I don't wanna give up my current freedom.)

Dunno, probably some time soon, if things keep going like that.

Well, I do try to spend every moment in which my body allows me to be happy, with doing something that makes me happy or fullfills me.

Same, in terms of living routinely
I have a hard time being mindful so that doesn't exactly work out for me

Good luck user

Take it you're Murican, attention whores usually are. So we'll format it accordingly.
06/ /2016
Just give me a shout whenever you feel ready.

Not Murican, not really an attention whore either.
Just wanna talk 'n' shit.

how are you guys depressed? You live in a first world country.
you probably still live with your parents.
you got internet, cable, and alot of other things other people your age don't have.
I don't get it.

Clinical Depression has little to do with the circumstances of your life.
It's a dysfunction of your brain chemistry.
You can be the richest fucking guy with a beautiful wife and children and still feel depressed and destroyed, just because your brain's not working the way it's supposed to.

alrighty then.

are you even doing anything about it? or are you just wallowing in your own miseries?

Lets have a chitty chat.
How's the liver treating you? Good working order, yes?
Any steam games you been eyeing up lately?

Well, I got admitted to closed psychiatry 4 times, two of those I went by myself.
I want to go to a certain psychologist, but he doesn't have a free place.

and those visits didn't help any?

you ever been anywhere else in the world?

Looks like im not the only one, who lives in hell... I wish you strength to carry on, OP

come on. it only has something to do with having a female brain.

Why are you depressed?
Why can't you just man up and get on with your shit smear of an existence like the rest of us?

you're at a phase in your life where you want someone else to tell you it's ok to suck. Medication isn't the answer. Good luck, but you're not special.

Well, I got prescribed a lot of meds, and they help, but not all the time.

How were you first diagnosed with BPD? I am pretty sure my mother has BPD, but she refuses to sell help or even acknowledge it. She gets furious when we try to bring up that she might need to go for help. I struggle with controlling my own BPD tendencies that I learned from her thinking they were normal ways to deal with people.

i think the meds will fuck you up even worse.

but that's just me.

Life's okeyish actually.
I'm at uni and stuff.
I can't play games on my pc, except for minecraft, so I watch let's plays.

can I have your adderal?

They will eventually do what all drugs do and frazzle your brain. Might as well do drugs with a buzz. Makes more sense, in my head anyway.

Well, they really help, actually.

I admitted myself to closed mental hospital because I was suicidal as fuck, and they diagnosed me.

BPD mothers are hell, mine probably has it too.

Yea but they won't always, so surly you are just setting yourself up for an even further fall.

Because my brain is dysfunctional, it doesn't work like a healthy brain.

Probably I do, yep. I'm in a pretty shitty mental state at the moment.

How does depression actually shows to you. Lately i felt very sad and didnt want to meet people n shit. But there also some good days where i am just normal a happy and kind person.

Thank you for sharing user!

Well, I feel sad and broken all the time, I wake up tired, I barely eat and don't wanna treat myself good, because I feel like I don't deserve anything good.
I have good days too, but they artificial and meaningless.

BPD MD fag reporting in
Can't have BPD and ADHD
Childhood BPD is often misdiagnosed as add/adhd and your BPD is fucking your attention span

Still depressed and can't deal with it so good luck there. 1 tip though: if you're gonna kill yourself don't tell anyone. They will put you in a psych ward for weeks and med you up so you sleep 20 hours a day + a nice new addiction to all sorts of pills you didn't even know existed.

Also I'm very suicidal and self destructive.

Well, I got the ADHD diagnosis after the BPD diagnosis, both last year.

Are you sure you're not Murican, you sound really whiny and shit tier faglord, like one?

Basically everyone around me knows I'm suicidal. I promised my flatmate that I won't kill myself in our home so he won't have to find me.

Nope, German here.

What meds are you on

but why are you suicidal?

shouldn't you be trying to help yourself too instead of just saying you feel like shit?

Maybe you should try to find what is actually causing your pain and work on fixing that, not covering it up.

Not true.

Because I feel like I don't deserve to live, I suffer in hellfire everyday and I think I don't deserve help.

My pain lies in myself, my own brain is my worst enemy. It's trying to destroy me.

Ah, that explains it then.

Why? xD

ugh.

so emo.

i know of so many people from where i came from whom would trade places with you.

BPD is a bullshit personality disorder. It basically means you're a cunt, there isn't any phychosis or physical difference in the brain of these so called individuals.

They might want to switch with my money, love life, grades and flat, but not with my brain.
Some normal person wouldn't survive for two weeks with my brain.

I'm certainly not a cunt.
I am in a very good and healthy relationship for over three years now, and my good friends all tell me that I am one of the nicest persons they've ever known.

There is. But if you believe you know better than the doctor's, go ahead.

Depression is also paralyzing. It keeps you from taking action.
It's kind of like a cancer growing uncontrollably, paralyzing your brain and manipulating you into not seeking help so it can keep on growing.

of course they would.

unlike you, they're actually strong willed and not emos.

you keep saying that you are some kind of a special snow flake coz you're depressed.

you are not. you are just weak. that's all

But why. There is always a root cause. Maybe 1% of cases of depression are just a brain malfunction but then meds would fix that up lickity split. What is the ideal life for you? What would truly make you happy.

fuck. if it is all in your mind then you can also deal with it with your mind.

I take 20mg Brintellix, 40mg Medikinet, 100mg Quetiapin, and 1mg Risperidon.

you guys just love the feeling of being miserable and getting all that pity from people.

I never said I'm a special snowflake. I'm just the same as anybody else with these illnesses.

you didn't have to say the exact words but that's how you are making it out to be.

you like the attention.

Well, the problem is that I have BPD, which isn't as easily treatable as dperession is. And it's a personality disorder, and therefor deeply connected to my, you guessed it, personality.

My ideal life would be...finishing my masters degree in computer science, then make my PhD, and work as a lacemaker.

Well, I love being miserable because I like making myself suffer. Because I think I deserve to suffer.

I actually hate attention. I often wish to just be invisible to others.

It's not just in my mind. Depression and Borderline also cause physical symptoms like pain, dissociations,, numbness, tiredness etc.

Care to explain that more in depth?

With your seroquel, do you get really hungry?

no it doesn't.
those things you feel are things that I feel too physically and mentally. but i overcome it by doing something like exercising and eating healthy and not wallowing in it.

BPD sounds more like temper tantrum.

I don't know, I'm just trying to answer questions and explain what it feels like.
But I guess that's bound to sound like attention whoring.

I used to, and I gained 14kg of weight since Christmas.
But now I really pay attention to how much I eat and the Medikinet lowers my appetite.

And the depression in ones mind is exactly what hinders one from overcoming it. Or at least it does for me, because my mind is not very strong.

Well, you could see temper tantrums as a symptom of BPD.

You get dissociations?

nope.

Did you ever happen to know someone with BPD?

The world is fucked not you. Dont take the poison they give you. Anyone with a brain has every mental illness because by default a smart person is going to have difficulty adjusting to a world run by fucking morons. Also wow holy fuck I hate my fat ugly disgusting roommate. All he does is consume booze and junkfood, watch every tv show that comes out, and get fat as fuck. He literally weighs like 320 lbs but says "nigger" "faggot" "fat fuck" every other word. He also calls everyone annoying even though he grunts every time he does anything because hes a fat useless slob. I literally hope this dude gets a dui soon. He comes home with one eye open and a 300 dollar bar tab and somehow nobody has died. He needs a dui. Then hel lose his high paying job that he rubs in everyones face "fucking leeches at mcdonalds" (where he goes every fucking day. I literally fucking hate this dude. He told me he would pay somebody to watch them kill someone. He watched a girl get fucked by a donkey in mexico and loved it. Why the fuck does this cancerous fat ball of negative energy exist?

Wow, he sounds like a total douche.
Why don't you move out? Money issues?

Oh, and Borderliners can be cunts.
They tend to be whiney, manipulative, threatening etc. etc.
But not every Borderliner is like that.
I am not, and some other's I know are not either.
Saying Borderliners are cunts is just as bad as saying all woman are cunts or all men are assholes.

Now that you say it, the world being fucked actually is one of the reasons I am depressed.
When the terror in Paris or so happened, my flatmate called an ambulance and they carried me to the mental hospital because I was screaming and crying for two hours in our flat.
I also felt as if I was being shot.

whatever cunt

I just tend to care too much about such stuff, and I don't want to live in such a fucked up world.

fine example of a cunt

Well, you can call me a cunt because I woke up my flatmate at 3 am, but you can be certain that I suffered just as much as he did from it.

yeah from your screaming you cunt.

Your environment decides what your plight is, to some it's the instabillity around them and to others; what might happen the next day at work.

Im depressed because my parents chose a life of drugs, been let down so many times that I cannot fathom how anything can even be held together anymore. At some point everything breaks, and from my perspective something started is already broken. This makes it really hard to start things like relationships, hobbies etc. Life is just shit bro.

I know that feeling of being afraid to start something, because I already feel like I won't succeed.
Because I know all my negative aspects and weaknesses which make me incapable of succeeding.

>Your environment decides what your plight is

no it doesn't. you make your own decisions.

I was born and raised in a third world country. Tondo, Manila, Philippines. Look that shit up and you will find that your issues in life are nothing compared to the things I had to deal with.

Issues in life are not the main problem for depressed people.
The issues in their mind make them incapable of handling what life gives them (positive and negative).

youtu.be/EwixeXEVA8k

fuck you and your "depression". you're just an attention whore.

Where exactly am I attention whoring?

And yep, I wouldn't survive a week in that environment.

Where exactly am I attention whoring?
>When the terror in Paris or so happened, my flatmate called an ambulance and they carried me to the mental hospital because I was screaming and crying for two hours in our flat.
I also felt as if I was being shot.

i'm just assuming that that's you too

That wasn't meant in an attention whoring way, I just tried to give an example of how such things affect me.

in your mind it wasn't. but you were and still are