Help, Sup Forums. I'm stuck in my room in dire need of a poop, but my house is literally filled with girls...

Help, Sup Forums. I'm stuck in my room in dire need of a poop, but my house is literally filled with girls. My parents are on vacation (neglectful type) so my sister decided to have a fucking slumber party with all her friends and friends of her friends...

She just posted this to facebook and i think there's two or three missing in the pic, because some of them decided to occupy the living-room as well. I can hear them walking around the house and my social phobia makes it impossible to do anything. Now the internet is shit too, probably because they're all on their phones. I know one of them, Lisa, has had a crush on me for maybe a month. I dunno my sister told me.

>Wat do, Sup Forums? Wat do?

I need to take a shit, but bitches be coveting my hallways. I'm also thirsty as fuck, sweating like a pig that can sweat because i'm so nervous. I'm not even a neckbeard, guys.

Help an overly anxious brotha out. Also, social phobia discussion, why not.

Dude just say fuck it and go take a dump, if they talk to you just respond with simple sentences

Sex Them

Poop on them

Leave the door open, and stroke your cock

Get paper
Go woods
Poop
???
Profit

Own up to the shit bro. Just let it all out.
Turn on the fan or something

Go take a shit, don't make eye contact though, they can sense fear.

Although I know this is fake I will answer legitimately.

>That seems like a nice house - master bedroom should have a master bathroom (bathroom inside parent's room). Go in there and shit

>Leave the house and go to a business and shit

>Shit in the woods

Ask if they have a scat fetish.

You have to be the most pathetic faggot ever if this were even slightly true and you didn't end up with your dick in every one of those mouths including your sisters.

>house full of girls
>OP can't leave his room
>not a neckbeard?
>OP confirmed for massive faggot.

Just an hero. The poop will take care of itself once you're gone.

Poop out window
or
Poop in some suitable container, cover container until bitches leave
or
Pretend they are boys. Go out of room to bathroom and poop. No big deal.

girls shit too dude.
fucking un cuck yourself

change the wifi pass
blame it on them
enjoy your 50ms and wizard powers

Fuck them, just go poop. If worse comes to worse, just find something in your room you won't miss and throw it out the window.

I'm assuming you're still in your teens by what you're describing. Once you get a little older, you'll realize that girls are contrary to popular belief regular human beings too. Most of them are just different from guys - and they know that too, so if you have to go take a shit that will be loud and smelly, THEY UNDERSTAND. Not only do they do it too, but they will almost expect it from a guy.

So just fucking go take a shit dude. Actually, when you're done, try and join the girls in the living room and chat them up. Ask them what they do in life, because do you honestly know what the fuck girls do? Once you realize how little you know about girls, you'll realize how much you can talk to them (aka ask them and they'll jabber for hours).

This is good advice

>Open door
>Fling Poop
>Close door

maybe that's how it works in merry old england

No, that's how it works if you're not a chav.

Take a lipstick and some makeup kits and replace the contents with your poop then join them in the makeup party and they will apply your poop to their faces.

lock the door, have a quick fap, then go take your shit. you'll still be on the post-fap high, and nothing will bother you

They all look prime for impregnating.

Do god's work, user.

or a fucking worthless shit. this is just how you function in society

Easy. Take a shower but first take a shit. By the end of the shower the smell will be gone. Then walk out naked and erect. You're whale cum.

you the man of the house homie fuck all of those broads they're submissive to you OP you are the true Shit Lord

Go take a shower, lock the bathroom door, do your shit, take a shower and leave the window open

assert dominance/don't give a fuck

got quads, yay for me

Time stamp

checked, also good idea

Works every time for me

Shit in hand, smear it on the bottom of your door and the girls will avoid the area and you can throw the rest of the poop down into toilet.

Or man up and take your shit like your ancestors before you did with PRIDE, but THAT'S TOO HARD ISN'T IT FATTY?

Just having a laugh that you're from england m8, can tell by your phraseology.

take shit
take shower
freshen up genitals
go talk smooth
shaft all the bitches, one by one, slumber party style

lock your room or something, then have a quick fap, take your shit, ask the girl that likes you to go to your room, do the succ and fucc, if she likes you it will be all good, you're welcome

Master bedroom and shit u lying cuck

You should have sexes with thems

ask that one applying makeup to the other if she wants to fuck me.
plz reply

Take a dump in your hand and fling it at the prettiest girl. It establishes dominance and bitches love alpha males

Go to convenience store take parents car they're gone anyway
take dump, buy condoms (hopefully magnums at least get ribbed)
leave condoms in plain sight
let the drama ensue

an hero and you'll shit automatically

rolling

[OP HERE]

Look man, i'm no neckbeard like i said, but i'm no chad either.
Social phobia/social anxiety disorder is the hardest thing to explain to neurotypicals, and i'm not your average socially awkward teenager. Well, i am a teenager, but i got taken out of school because of this mental illness.

Out of the school system and into the medical system. I kind of want to interact with some of them. I know a few of them are cool, even funny, but i would just be sitting there sweating my ass off, hands shaking because of the adrenaline.

>anyway here's a pic to keep the thread going. Pic is sis.

This guy knows
>also, if your not a fat fuck.
>forget your clean shirt in your room
>walk out shirtless for them to see

fuck lisa

That pic. My sides

your sis is hella cute, moar?

Since you're so socially awkward. Be honest with us OP, how often do you masturbate into your sister's panties ?

Find your dog and take it with you into a room no girls are in. Shit onto the middle of the floor. Make a loud exclamation when you are through -- "Cuddles, you shit on the floor! Bad dog!" All of the girls will come to see the pile of shit. Since they are all now in one place, go to the living room and use those white carpets to wipe your ass to complete your smooth getaway.

kek'd out loud ty bby

I'm nervous around girls I I I nnnnnever eeeven kisssed one
Guaranteed kisses
be honest
don't be a horn dog too much
no insincere compliments
Basic guarantee
from this guy

Post address and ill wingman you as long as i get to fuck your sister

...

This. Or:
>Shit in the tank and leave an upper decker
>tell your parents you hung out in your room all night and went to bed early and have no idea what they did after you went to bed

>turn on shower
>open window
>squirt some shampoo / bubble bath into the toilet
>take your poop
>take your shower

No evidence.

Also, post more of the hot teens

Internet tough guy.

They probably all know who you are and that your akward and unless they are cunts they wont try to make you feel more akward, so they probably wont even say anything. If they do answer with yeah, no and simple sentences.

Take a shit, but double flush. They probably won't even notice you unless someone goes in straight after, then you'll be ridiculed for ever.
So shit, flush, wipe, flush. And hurry up bout it.

[OP HERE - #2]

I also forgot to mention that door to the toilet (the only one that doesn't require a walk by my sisters room, in a hallway that i think is occupied by some of them since i can hear them so clearly) is one of those you lock with a key and not one of those upper-upper class, 1% of the 1% door locks that you can just twist.

The key was lost one day and nobody has bothered to replace it. We all use the one on the second floor, the one by my sisters. This is pathetic.

your house sucks

If anything you said was true, your sister wouldn't be allowed to have a slumber party, or your entire family is autistic. Either way, you're good.

I don't see a way out of this one. I think the best thing to do is to just kill yourself. Sorry.

PAP of your naked sister or her panties

just walk past them.

nice trips

what is this, a get thread?

>2016
>not having hidden cameras everywhere to monitor slumber party

>Go get a drink and casually tell your sister infron of company your going to go take a shower
>Shit in peace under cover of shower
>wash filfth from body
>Get prettied up and walk around in towel, wifey, or no shirt.
>pound pussy

This OP. We all know you go through them on the daily. Admit that you jerk off into her panties.

If the shower is in the same bathroom, just start the shower, take a fast shit, then take a shower. No smell, no sound, I call it ninja shit.

As a dude with similar problems related to yours, I can give you some pointers on how to become a "false Chad".

Rather than trying to be an alpha through words,you should be using your awkwardness to your advantage. Chicks(just as any dude would) love to see a guy do something funny. And being an awkward fuck is funny. Cause an load ruckus somewhere inside your house, but do not do something TOO retarded. This will attract attention and them girls will be flocking over.

They will say oh shit waddup. Follow this up by saying dome cringe shit like "No one say anything" and laugh it off. This will cause them to laugh a long and now you will have their attention+instant lightening of the mood.

Follow up with a question like " so what are you ladies doing here". They answer, then you say "And your leaving me out. So unfair" WITH A SMILE.They smile will get you the invitation.

Try this out OP. Even the most socially retarded beta can pull this off as long as he looks decent enough. I use this all the time and I'm socially awkward as fuck.

>also do 100 pushups(or as many as you can) helps you get the juices flowing and contributes to boosting confidence.

No, im not OP...

Take a shit and if someone walks im ask them to join you

>tell them your going to take a shower
???????????????????????????????
Your just as autistic as op, why would you tell them,
just do this without telling them,

You're right. You really are socially awkward

take notes, OP. Some of this shit works

If this is real

smoke some pot and chill out. Im stupid anxious around people if its more then one on one, doubly so if its women.

If pot doesnt work a xanax will for sure.

As someone else said go turn the shower on and shit. Bonus points for actually showering and then going an saying hi when youre fresh as fuck

Might just be cheesy enough to work

[OP HERE - #3]
First off, check em. >Second, pic for you guys. It's off of facebook, so if that tells you something.. Eh, actually i wouldn't say she was a slut but hey, i'm a biased older borther, what can i say.


Third, this is so typically S.A.D. Afraid of judgment in any social situation, and always having that sneaking suspicion that everyone is talking about you behind your back. It's unlikely that they haven't brought me up, but i'm sure my sis is embarrassed to have such a failure as a brother like me. Even though we have always gotten along pretty good.

It works a lot for me anyway. Has a lot to do with my voice though.


>black radio host voice ftw

...

You are the alpha of the house user, you are the male
Make waste in your own kingdom user

>Having a sister this cute
>she tells you a friend of hers likes you
>She has tons of the girls over and even invites one that likes you

SHE'S TRYING TO HOOK IT UP FOR YOU AND YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP. WHAT ARE YOU? JUST END YOUR LIFE

Just poop. Girls poop too.Girls know shit stinks they will even joke about when someone wrecks the bathroom. If you shit like a man instead of a little bitch. They won't say shit. If youre all self conscious about it Youll look like a tool.

[OP HERE - #4]
Yeah, that's pretty bad.

0/10 nice attempt at trolling faggot. You're whole "LOOK MAN, LOOK GUYS" gave it away/

>neurotypicals

Yeah ok there neckbearded faggot.

Fuck your sister

OP GET US MORE NAKED PICS OF HER AND ALSO PANTIES

FAKE AND GAY

OP is a faggot trying to personal army some chick from his facebook. Why the fuck would someone post pics of their sister on here and not change the file image.

>what are you
A teenager that has social phobia. It's not necessarily that he doesn't pick up on signals, it's that he's to socially disabled to do anything about it.

Grab a towel and your phone then act like you're a out to shower and have a glorious shit...also actually take a shower in case of hornyuber girl going into your room for late night quickyyy

>social phobia
>but bitches

What a loser

My roommates tell me in advance when they're going to bring people home for little parties and stuff , so I can gather supplies in my room and could be there until they go away.

I second this

turn their party in a Japanese scat/vomit porno where they writhe together and make out in their own shit and puke!!

user: "what could go wrong"

Well all I can say is enjoy that gap of shame tonight.

Have fun listening to all those hotbchicks giggle and talking about how big Ricardo from the soccer team dick is instead of at least taking a chance at some nice holy, refined pussy

Fap*

Really? I would have opted for the one to the far left with her finger next to her mouth.

Hot Damn!