Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

My phaser is jammed.

Yes

I'm addicted, Doctor. How do I stop?

op is homo sex

Niggers.. Niggers everywhere

When ever I scratch an itch the scratched area lately has been leaving red raised welts, it will go away after a while.

What's wrong with me doctor?

INB4 cancer

sounds like you are scratching too hard.. have you tried NOT using a brillo pad or clipping your monstrous fucked up nails?

You seem to be trying to use a rundmentuary 20th century weapon. I hope you are happy, that you wasted your replicator rations on this. I hear Mr. Nelix is preparing something..."special" in the mess hall this evening.

You'll have to go into more detail.

I keep my nails short and clean

I love Black guys! I ain't ever going back to micro-penis white boys. -VanessaWhite Disqus

What happens if you press this button?

>rundmentuary
goddamn, i understand typos, but i'm genuinely confused as to how you got this. it doesn't even make sense phonetically.

This could be the early stages on Pon farr. When did you first notice these symptoms.

A brilliant diagnosis for a crewmen. Perhaps you should get back to your senior officer before you, damage someone.

My nipples are constantly errect

>rundmentuary
It seems your matrix may be destabilizing, doctor.
We'd better run a level 1 diagnostic just in case.

I accidentally a whole dinosaur cock

How about I run a diagnostic on dat ass, sugartits?

I am afraid you will have to ask Lieutenant Torres in engineering about any matters pertaining to the ship. I am a doctor, be it a brilliant one nonetheless.

I am not sure, perhaps I should have the Lt. look over my halomatrix as well.

i forgot how much i wanted to fuck her back when voyager was airing

Doctor, I got a tummy ache after eating Neelix's stew.

I always kick up my cooking with some Telaxian spices. They are from an old home recipe. In fact I remember a time when I was...

MEDICAL EMERGENCY!
DOCTOR,

I NEED AS MUCH VOYAGER RULE 34 PICS OF THE FEMALE CREW MEMBERS AS POSSIBLE.

I REPEAT, THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

haha voyager :)

Captains orders.

I have had an erection for more than 4 hours

3=2.6/10 pic

Doctor, I just inserted a 36" dildo into my anus. Logic has failed me...

Lt. you and Mr. Paris need to refrain from going on away missions when you sense the Pon Farr is oncoming. Lie down on that bed over there and we'll remove the foreign object. This might be a little...uncomfortable.

I literally can not stop sucking dick

not OP btw

Ah c'mon doc, It was all in good fun!

>wasted your replicator rations on this.

as a doctor you should know the replicators have safeguards that prevent them from being used to produce weapons , drugs , poisons, explosive or anything cool. Also the holodeck cant be used for sex orgies or nobody would get any work done.

...

Well everything here seems to be in order. Computer deactivate the EMH.

This type of phaser almost never jam. Wtf were you doing with it

I'm sorry, it looks like my predecessor has been getting ideas above his station. Now then, does anyone have any medical emergencies?