So I did somthing stupid and weird afew yrs ago. Basically my parents called the police and they took me to a mental institution and locked up because they thought I was a threat to others or myself. Both wrong because I have no history of violence or suicide attempt. The only thing they had was when in 2003 I punched a hole in the wall... that is it. And they locked me up in a mental institution in 2010.... whole 7 yrs later of that incident.
So it was pretty fucked up and in these institutions or wards they play mind games with you and figuratively provoke and prod you until you break down.
So in 2011... almost more than a yr since I was admitted to this institution(which is in Canada and committing someone to a mental institution is very easy)
So a yr after getting locked up I decided that one day I am gona shock them so bad they will back off.
Now I come from a religious culture and sex before marriage is worse or just as bad as murder.
So I told them about an incident with a masseuse that was really weird and I had to argue with them cuz they didnt wana hear it but I kept insisting it is my client's right so in psychiatrist's office I told them about this incident in front of the psychiatrist, case worker and my father.
And when I was done talking I felt so bad and which lead me to become diagnosed with c-ptsd.
I have been to more than 6-7 therapists and I have talked about this incident comprehensively but I feel no relief.
I have these episodes where I get really ashamed and embarassed for no reason at all and I run to my apartment, hide under a blanket and wait until it is over. I feel the same shame but worse by 100x the same as the shame I went through in psychiatrist's office.
I am at my wit's end and I have no clue what to do anymore
Anyone can relate or just generallly what do I do guys?
Jaxson Smith
first and last bump
Jonathan Morris
Kill yourself.
Wyatt Watson
What hapeens when you try to talk to other therapists? Have you tried any sort of meditation?
Michael Collins
I talked about it with therapists but it just seems like flatly describing what happened... there is no re-processing it as to re-live it in a safe environment and so then my body will know it is in the past and not have to re-live it every day in fight or flight response
I am on a ptsd medication called prazosin which helps with the flashbacks but I am still not cured.. this is only temporary fix.. life is hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies... well maybe rapists and child abusers but yeah
Jordan Garcia
what the fuck am I reading.
Julian Lopez
wtf
Aiden Reyes
Suck it up, you're just a pussy, be a man
Austin Clark
You're reading someones story about their mental disorder.
Brandon Lewis
>tfw he got a handy under the towel and it blew his mind
Samuel Miller
How many sessions have you done with each of the 6-7 therapists?
Have you tried therapy techniques that don't involve drugs or just talking about what happened like CBT, DBT, Mindfullness?
Zachary Taylor
So a masseuse sucked your dick. Get over it.
Jaxson Wilson
Yeah religious families are ripe with repression, guilt-tripping, and shame. Making someone feel bad for being human is a terrible thing to do. As for some sound advice though, kys. The trauma goes back to your childhood and it's reinforced itself up until now, so you have a long, miserable road ahead of you with just enough rewards scattered throughout to keep hope alive, but the longer you travel, the more you'll realize how hope is misleading you. Avoid any excess anguish OP. Immortalize yourself as a case study for people like me so we your legacy can live on as an example of a failed human being that others should actively avoid emulating.
Cooper Jackson
>masseuse was a dude
OP is a whining fag
Grayson Watson
tried mindfulness and cbt, didnt work
Mason Robinson
Masseuse is female. Masseur is male. Learn to english.
Andrew Kelly
but of french origin you retard so kys
Carter Gomez
I went to a physciatric ward, was nothing but nice people and a nice building. Checked myself out a few months later and life's good.
Jason Carter
Be a disney princess and let it go.
Jace Harris
Most english and french words come from latin originally, what's your point?
Isaac King
>masseuse had a girl penis
Learn to gender
Kevin White
latino shitskin detected
Liam Phillips
What the fuck do latinos have to do with the Latin language you fucking idiot?
Christian Howard
Just don't give a fuck about them, they're the real crazies bro!
Jack Russell
Underrated
Nathan Walker
nigger detected
Aaron Bailey
I don't know man, the best you can do is keep trying right? I know that doesn't seem a helpful solution but you have nothing to lose but continuing to try to get better.
Maybe try some alternative practices, like eastern stuff, go to a meditation class.
Colton Wright
I feel a little stupider from reading this shit. Fuck Sup Forums. I'm out.
Owen Evans
fuck off retard
Logan Reyes
I don't know dude, I've been admitted to and locked up in mental hospital before..
You play nice, behave, and follow instructions, and just do what they say and go along with the flow until you are released a few weeks or months later..
I can't imagine you being there without a reason for a whole fucking year..? or do I misunderstand?
but I'm still not clear what you're situation exactly is and what you are asking of us specifically..
what exactly is your problem, the guilt over an incident with a masseuse?? what the fuck dude.. get over it and move on with life, it can't be that bad.
Owen Price
no not the incident itself. just the confession before them
as I said I come from a religious family and so confessing to those made them hold the upper moral high round and it made get ptsd from that incident
some ppl it is nothing for them but some it is ptsd-inducing
Ayden Ortiz
>talking about himself being locked up on a mental institute >have access to internet and a computer/cellphone with data connection
nice pasta. i'll save it
Chase Bailey
Not the guy you replied to, but wouldn't it be helpful to look at this incident as something that's unacceptable in YOUR family? because otherwise it's normal.
Logan Wright
I mean I know that the confession made you messed up, but that comes from the fact that your family is like that. In other families the dad would pat the son's back, knowing he got some action with a girl
Hudson Morales
bump
Robert Wood
ah ok now I get the picture.
but to be honest with you I can't even tell if you're trolling or not.. but if not, are you still religious?
I think your problems run much deeper than just this single incident with your confession at the psychiatrist.
Lucas Ramirez
Dude you're normal, people think they are so moral by not by following the rules i.e no pleasure before marriage yet they're ficking hypocrites by using their false moral high ground to cripple you emotionally because deep within(even they don't admit to it) they want you suck up to them and control you, don't be so blind and let them tell you what you can't see! RAGE!
Dominic Perry
They think if they control you they can shape u for the "better good" MOTHERFUCKERS! RAGE!
Jaxon Powell
OP's gone
Owen Sullivan
im here thx for the concern
Austin Ramirez
am I supposed to understand the story from this post because I'm not
Jose Anderson
i guess read this, might help you not sure
Joshua James
I really don't fucking understand, do you told them that you had sex rough someone and it have you ptsd? Fucking what?
Jason Nelson
jeez, read this
Juan Phillips
for fucks sake
write the entire thing again until it makes logical sense
Jace Evans
Thank you. It was just so stupid that I couldn't possibly think he really said what I thought he said.
Isaac Parker
No it doesn't you big fucking closet fag
Wyatt Morales
Moral of the story is OP is secretly gay and he had sex with a woman instead of shoving a big fucking fat cock up as his gay little ass and it gave him ptsd