Hi guys

Hi guys,

So I did somthing stupid and weird afew yrs ago. Basically my parents called the police and they took me to a mental institution and locked up because they thought I was a threat to others or myself. Both wrong because I have no history of violence or suicide attempt. The only thing they had was when in 2003 I punched a hole in the wall... that is it. And they locked me up in a mental institution in 2010.... whole 7 yrs later of that incident.

So it was pretty fucked up and in these institutions or wards they play mind games with you and figuratively provoke and prod you until you break down.

So in 2011... almost more than a yr since I was admitted to this institution(which is in Canada and committing someone to a mental institution is very easy)

So a yr after getting locked up I decided that one day I am gona shock them so bad they will back off.

Now I come from a religious culture and sex before marriage is worse or just as bad as murder.

So I told them about an incident with a masseuse that was really weird and I had to argue with them cuz they didnt wana hear it but I kept insisting it is my client's right so in psychiatrist's office I told them about this incident in front of the psychiatrist, case worker and my father.

And when I was done talking I felt so bad and which lead me to become diagnosed with c-ptsd.

I have been to more than 6-7 therapists and I have talked about this incident comprehensively but I feel no relief.

I have these episodes where I get really ashamed and embarassed for no reason at all and I run to my apartment, hide under a blanket and wait until it is over. I feel the same shame but worse by 100x the same as the shame I went through in psychiatrist's office.

I am at my wit's end and I have no clue what to do anymore

Anyone can relate or just generallly what do I do guys?

first and last bump

Kill yourself.

What hapeens when you try to talk to other therapists? Have you tried any sort of meditation?

I talked about it with therapists but it just seems like flatly describing what happened... there is no re-processing it as to re-live it in a safe environment and so then my body will know it is in the past and not have to re-live it every day in fight or flight response

I am on a ptsd medication called prazosin which helps with the flashbacks but I am still not cured.. this is only temporary fix.. life is hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies... well maybe rapists and child abusers but yeah

what the fuck am I reading.

wtf

Suck it up, you're just a pussy, be a man

You're reading someones story about their mental disorder.

>tfw he got a handy under the towel and it blew his mind

How many sessions have you done with each of the 6-7 therapists?

Have you tried therapy techniques that don't involve drugs or just talking about what happened like CBT, DBT, Mindfullness?

So a masseuse sucked your dick.
Get over it.

Yeah religious families are ripe with repression, guilt-tripping, and shame.
Making someone feel bad for being human is a terrible thing to do.
As for some sound advice though, kys.
The trauma goes back to your childhood and it's reinforced itself up until now, so you have a long, miserable road ahead of you with just enough rewards scattered throughout to keep hope alive, but the longer you travel, the more you'll realize how hope is misleading you.
Avoid any excess anguish OP. Immortalize yourself as a case study for people like me so we your legacy can live on as an example of a failed human being that others should actively avoid emulating.

>masseuse was a dude

OP is a whining fag

tried mindfulness and cbt, didnt work

Masseuse is female.
Masseur is male.
Learn to english.

but of french origin you retard so kys

I went to a physciatric ward, was nothing but nice people and a nice building. Checked myself out a few months later and life's good.

Be a disney princess and let it go.

Most english and french words come from latin originally, what's your point?

>masseuse had a girl penis

Learn to gender

latino shitskin detected

What the fuck do latinos have to do with the Latin language you fucking idiot?

Just don't give a fuck about them, they're the real crazies bro!

Underrated

nigger detected

I don't know man, the best you can do is keep trying right? I know that doesn't seem a helpful solution but you have nothing to lose but continuing to try to get better.

Maybe try some alternative practices, like eastern stuff, go to a meditation class.

I feel a little stupider from reading this shit.
Fuck Sup Forums. I'm out.

fuck off retard

I don't know dude, I've been admitted to and locked up in mental hospital before..

You play nice, behave, and follow instructions, and just do what they say and go along with the flow until you are released a few weeks or months later..

I can't imagine you being there without a reason for a whole fucking year..? or do I misunderstand?

but I'm still not clear what you're situation exactly is and what you are asking of us specifically..

what exactly is your problem, the guilt over an incident with a masseuse?? what the fuck dude.. get over it and move on with life, it can't be that bad.

no not the incident itself. just the confession before them

as I said I come from a religious family and so confessing to those made them hold the upper moral high round and it made get ptsd from that incident

some ppl it is nothing for them but some it is ptsd-inducing

>talking about himself being locked up on a mental institute
>have access to internet and a computer/cellphone with data connection

nice pasta. i'll save it

Not the guy you replied to, but wouldn't it be helpful to look at this incident as something that's unacceptable in YOUR family? because otherwise it's normal.

I mean I know that the confession made you messed up, but that comes from the fact that your family is like that. In other families the dad would pat the son's back, knowing he got some action with a girl

bump

ah ok now I get the picture.

but to be honest with you I can't even tell if you're trolling or not.. but if not, are you still religious?

I think your problems run much deeper than just this single incident with your confession at the psychiatrist.

Dude you're normal, people think they are so moral by not by following the rules i.e no pleasure before marriage yet they're ficking hypocrites by using their false moral high ground to cripple you emotionally because deep within(even they don't admit to it) they want you suck up to them and control you, don't be so blind and let them tell you what you can't see! RAGE!

They think if they control you they can shape u for the "better good" MOTHERFUCKERS! RAGE!

OP's gone

im here thx for the concern

am I supposed to understand the story from this post because I'm not

i guess read this, might help you not sure

I really don't fucking understand, do you told them that you had sex rough someone and it have you ptsd? Fucking what?

jeez, read this

for fucks sake

write the entire thing again until it makes logical sense

Thank you. It was just so stupid that I couldn't possibly think he really said what I thought he said.

No it doesn't you big fucking closet fag

Moral of the story is OP is secretly gay and he had sex with a woman instead of shoving a big fucking fat cock up as his gay little ass and it gave him ptsd

U r a problem; die.