Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

My farts are heavy and wet

Define
>heavy farts

I dunno doc, I just fart then my pants feel heavy and wet and sometimes something drips down my legs

Doctor i'm afraid i found the captain with a gel pack stuffed inside her again, could you please remove it and her brain.

You could be having shutter problems. I'll have to run some bio-scans. In the meantime, I suggest you transfer your duties.

That's just her hair, Mr. Tuvok.

just like the girls I fuck. WHAT WHAT HEYO!!

No doctor, i clearly seen her insert a gel pack into her vaginal cavity with the help of harry kim.

>The_doctor_2371
I think you have a problem dude

Perhaps you walked in on a program they were running in the Holodeck?

I don't. Why would you think otherwise?

I find 9/11 too funny.
is this a disease or a curse?

not
>ran self diagnose less than 24h ago
0/10

Do you have an actual medical emergency, ensign?

Yeah, how do I get android cum out of my ass, doc?

Voyager was easily, hand down the worst Star Trek.

Deep Space 9 ftw.

no I'm just here to upgrade your subroutines

.....

Oh, Mr. Bashir. What are you doing here?

Please don't.

Upgrade Picardo (EMH) to Siddig (LMH).

I just kinda like to show up anywhere. Have you seen Miles?

also I need your holo projector for a moment, you are confined to sickbay untill further notice

Oh, you mean Mr. O'Brien. No, I have not.

Never could understand why we didn't replicate my emitter.

ask B'lana about that

Or have like twenty copies of you backed up. "Oh no, The Doctor isn't back from being sent via the Hirogan array. We have to rewrite one." Wat.

Yea, one backup only makes sense.

About what?

answer for your actions Doctor

Because you have a bunch of pictures of some man. That's creepy dude.

doc help
i dont have a dick

> Never could understand why we didn't replicate my emitter.

Because your emitter is a sentient being like myself and it would therefore be unethical to 'replicate it' without its consent.

Well, can you blame me?

Well, there you go Data. You didn't need a dick.

Doc, please! I'll never get pussy if I don't have a dick! Can I just borrow yours?

Mine was...deleted, a long time ago.

Tom is a faggot

I need something new. Seen Star Trek so many times now...

Bull. I know you have backups.

Now get to work with that replicator, doc.

What was that?

Doc, how do you cure heartbreak?

I got mah wee tendy,s caught in a plasma conduit, please dunna' ask me how it happened.

>backups
We just said there's a lack of backups.

You'll have to ask Ensign Kim. His heart's been broken more times than Seven has assimilated people.

>I don't have a dick!

I assure you data is fully functional.

Doctor i appear to have entered a state of human arousal, i believe my implants are malfunctioning! i believe i need some adjustment

No backups of YOU. I know you have an assortment of 'packages' on file for special occasions.

Let me borrow one. Pretty please?