Craigslist stories

Craigslist stories

>be me
>browse craiglist music forum
>someone posts they have a really nice base flight case they are giving away for free
>reply ask what the catch is
>"no catch just don't need the money"
>prepare to be raped and murdered as I go to pick it up
>bring gun and everything
>pull up to nice house guy is standing outside with the case
>he walks over to my truck and I get out and grab it from him
>say thanks
>he says no problem just passing it on
>explains that he is a producer now but was in touring bands for years
>talk to him for a while really cool guy
>thank him again and leave

Bump

Congratulations
You made a story more anticlimactic than your sex life

>be a few years ago
>on craigslist because why tf not
>some faggot posts "DUBS" on his listing
>only description is "check em"
>call him and head over
>he says he'll give me the dubs for free
fuckithescrazyanyways.jpeg
>go home
>open Sup Forums
>try dubs out in cragslist thread

Check em

>want ottoman
>find one for $20
>old lady is near my college
>get ottoman
>suggest dog park when she asks for one
>helps me back out of her driveway because it was a mega bitch to do

Okay I'll type it
No green text but bump

...

>be me
>browse craiglist
>person posts a engelhardt cello for $25
>there has to be a catch
>write and they say their daughter bought some old broken cellos for an art project she never completed
>go pick it up and it's in great condition just no strings, bridge, or soundpost
>the look of terror I must have had when they said she had planned to break it open and paint it or some crap
>after getting everything for it I spent about $100
>I got a $800 cello for $125

noice

Sweet deal, bruh.

...

...

>be me
>25
>2 year sex drought
>thristy as sandman in hell
>fuck it craigslist
>browsing around
>decide to fuck it even more
>lifeisshortletsgetwierd.frank
>hit up these couple looking for 3some
>"user we want someone to join us to spice up our sex life"
>hell yeah im your man
>email them
>almost instantly an email is sent back
>you look good, lets meet up
>ok, send me a picture
>get sent the picture from the ad
>uh send me a different one
>that is all we have user
>meet us at such and such address
>uh huh
>drive to address
>dont get out
>shifty neighborhood
>order pizza to house
>pizza guy shows up
>back of niggers answer the door
>nope outta there faster than shit
Ive more if people can bump

>be me
>find ad on craigslist for data entry job
>guy is having people email him info then he creates a webpage for them
>literally just a single webpage, pretty much a business card online
>pays me per page I create
>create script and form that people now have to fill out which creates the page automatically
>he still pays me to this day and I haven't done anything in over a year for him

Anybody wanna hear about the time I scored a mmf 3sum with a mild?

Don't lie to us user, we all know you got raped by niggers.

>niggers think pizza guy is you
>niggers throw pizza guy in traphouse
>extra sausage

Liar that never happened.
Also, no.

>okay I need some car work done so I contact a "sae" certified guy off Craigslist
>post up with my best friend and a few girls smoking weed til he shows up
>guy pulls up with 2 othe guys and a women
>all of them look like they smoke the purest method from walter white
>I say oh hell no
> the guy says I gotta pay him 75 for riding out to my place or its gonna be a problem
>I go in the house and take 800 I had on me and place it in a safe place
>on the way back out grab my bro and say "we fInna beat they ass bro"
>he is down
>I tell the guy I guess we got a problem
>they bitch up and leave saying they gonna call the cops cause we selling drugs
>nothing happened


Ended up taking my Car to a real shop

Like and follow my music
soundcloud.com/ronniescholarship

>mmf
Traps don't count as girls, you fuck

I really really like this post

Your music is as your story, total shit.

>weirdo wants sex story
>doesn't get it
Hurr durr lame story


Fuck you hating ass lame. You can't relate cause you live like a pussy. I got 51 followers in 90 days so I think I'm doing okay

Haha not quite, almost though
Here is a short one
>last december
>thirsty again
>just moved from uni for a job
>rural area
>only fat corn shitters or single mom drama
>craigslist again
>sort throught spam and bots
>ah a legit posting
>send email
>replies back two days later
>"user, we can totally meet up and have some fun. Only condition is you have to buy some nude photos for 75 a piece or 3 min video for 200 a piece. I really need it, blah blah"
>da fuq bitch
>tell her no dice
>"ok user, well how about you pay for my mechanic bill, and ill make it worth your while."
>mfw this went on for 2 weeks of me saying no, and her trying ro renegotiate

>find couple for m on cl
>girl is cute guy is ugly af
>no wonder she wants this
>write them
>get both their kiks
>send few messages
>turns out guy is gay af
>he send me multiple explicit message unprompted
>says he wants to suck my cock after I fuck his ass
>The girl is much more subtle but asks for lewd pics of me
>oblige
>she is into it
>get dick pic from guy
>I see why she's into it
>this is getting too weird for me
>tell them I think I'm not up for it
>get many many unreplied messages from guy over the next month
>year later get message from girl saying they broke up
>don't reply to her, too weird
wish I had just done it to see what it was like to this day haven't had a mmf I thinking being bigger than the guy and the guy being so into me would be nice but he really was ugly as shit

No, I don't want sexstorys, those are often worse then your shit story. Your story simply sucked donkey ass since it was lame as fuck, just like your music.

Is that supposed to be impressive? My punkband had over 100 followers in 1 fucking day and we sucked at playing music.

Got to give her cred for trying atleast.

checked and keked

Alright i gotta sexy one this time
>back in college
>right after nigger incident
>still so thristy
>near christmas again
>dont know why i get so thirsty in december
>shifting through bots
>stumble upon a legit post
>"i hate christmas music" is the subject line
>post about girl just breaking up with long term bf, looking for a quick fuk
>im your guy babby
>send her message
>she replies back
>me being shaken from nigger scare, i take it slow
>emailing, than texting last about a week
>sends me nudes this time
>chubby black girl
>suspicious.png
>arrange a day and time
>decide to meet up
>went to her house
>knife in pocket
>knock on door
>she opens it
>i do a quick occular pat down and assessment
>no hidden niggers
>lets do this
Cont.

fuckin kek

Fuck you I never promised a super cool crazy story
Keep your negative shit to yourself
You just needed someone to hate on
>100 followers in one day
>I care
Check the comments
Plenty of people rock with me

>cleared him for passage
I know where this is going

Ok so this one isn't craigslist but its still relatable.

>year 2009
>be 12 years old
>me and my best friend are kinda fucked up
>browse fucked up websites while kids our age are playing outside
>use Swedish website called "Kamrat" to skype with 12-15 year old girls and get them to show our tits
>were really fucking manipulative
>works maybe 20 times getting young girls show their tits to us and masturbate
>were their age so its ok
>one day we find this really fucking ugly skinny bitch who is like 13 years old
>we start skyping with her after chatting on kamrat
>she does this fucked up shit and my best friend "Filip" is telling her to do fucked up shit on cam
>starts masturbating with pens and bananas in her kitchen (moms not home
>Filip is really fucked up and manipulative
>also kinda fat
>he really wants to meet her and loose his virginity
>she says she wants to fuck us in a public bathroom at t-centralen (stockholm train station)

Should i cont? Gets really fucking weird

I took a listen and it's actually pretty decent. Miles better than I thought it was gonna be.

cont now

Faggot if you don't have a cool story then don't post your story, nobody want to read some lame as shit.

>Probably as much as I care about your shit "music"

Go suck a dick faggot, thats something your great at atleast.

you wound me up better finish

>No, I don't want sexstorys
Wants a sex story

I also listen, it was shit. Your taste in music sucks, go fucking kill yourself faggot.

>i go in
>still on edge
>hand on pocket knife
>butthole puckered
>"wanna beer"
>sure thing
>hands me a cider
>bitch....
>drink it anyway
>get to know each other
>watch some cartoons
>regular show, nice
>get close
>start making out like 13 year olds
>go to her room
>time to fuk
>she opens a drawer on her night stand
>packed with condoms
>suspicious
>oh well
>thirsty remember
>start going to town
>condoms suck last for like 20 mins
>finally blam
>catching breath
>asks me if i can go again
>tell her no dice condoms suck
>"well you dont have to wear one"
>suspicious
>ok
>raw dogg that shit
>so much better
>pull out and blam all over her sheets and back
>chuckle
>she isnt too happy about her sheets being covered in icing
>give her a kiss and leave
>mfw i immediately went to the free clinc

Somthin I never saw
>saved
here's something you never saw

also kek'd

Lol jävla sthlms bög.

>Go suck a dick faggot,
>sucked donkey ass
>we sucked


This nigga gay
Pic related. .it's you

Fucking do it
I wanna see how far this rabbit hole goes

>>mfw i immediately went to the free clinc
>mfw they can't help for months

Im more gay then you could ever imagine and still not as gay as that fucking homo storyteller.

That's awesome.

aight cont

>im really fucking nervous and i dont want to do it
>shes ugly as fuck
>he convinces me and we head out to the train station
>he has her number and is texting where to meet etc
>were standing at a train track (perrong? in swedish)
>after like 35 mins of waiting she shows up
>you cant imagine how awkward this is
>were two socially retarded 12 year old virgins and she doesnt say shit
>shes expecting us to take control of the situation
>im really fucking nervous
>Filip that fucking faggot starts panicking
>we stand "talking" with her for like 1 hour at the train station
>I improvise and start making fake phone calls to secretly talk to Filip
>like "Hello Lasse (He knows i know no one who is called lasse) im coming home soon, were leaving now)
>start saying retarded shit to make it sound real like
>"Oh i dont want tacos for dinner can we please have spaghetti" etc
>The plan was that Filip fucks her while she blows me in a public bathroom
>not much happens i dont remember so much but we end up outside a public bathroom about to do it
>im fucking shaking
>try opening door
>realize you need to put in 5kr to enter
>me and Filip that fucking retard start searching out pockets for coins

cont coming soon

>mfw you are totally right
>mfw i went back later and they caught what they missed the first time
Thank god.

Bro it's not that deep. Why put so much energy into downing a stranger? You must be a sad sad man. His story was okay, no worst then any other bs on here. Learn to chill. Music isn't bad either I played suntrust twice!

You underestimate how gay I can imagine

kekd
saved

Fucking checked

Mr.Dubs I'm gayer then anyting you can find on Sup Forums, exept for that fucking homo storyteller.

...

>my punk band
You're a obviously a sad, poor loser in denial or you're still in high school.

If you suck you need to be told that you suck, as simple as that. I'm no libfag that feel a need to be nice to people that don't deserve it. Tell a shit story and make shit music and I will tell you what you do is shit.

This post.

This is a good post.

That was years ago, don't even listen to shit like that now a days, only told that shit to make him understand his 60 followers in 90 days aint shit.

Only good post in this shit of a thread.

>filename

I'm not the rapper guy
Just not a dick

...

oh man is she
HITTING THEM WITH THE DAB??

>i find 5 one kroners to open the door
>start entering one after one
>only 3 kronor left
>i drop the two kronor because im so fucking nervous
>btw just realized the girl almost looks like Adalia rose
>shes that fucking ugly
>i bend over to pick up the coins
>this is the most fucked up part of the story
>Filip that fat fuck pushes me over while im picking up the coins
>i fall over and im utterly fucking shocked
>look up and shes standing over me and i see Filip running away in the distance
>Filip is fat as fuck so watching him run away infuriates me
>stand up and say something like "he really needs to get home" because im stuck with the girl
>fucking panic
>push over the girl (shes really short and really skinny)
>she falls over and screams
>i start running
>im decently athletic so i outrun filip
>reminder, im 12 years old and i usually dont run around alone in the middle of the town
>me and filip finally found eachother outside the station
>were both fucking panicking
>im mad at him
>we hear a scream
>we see this skinny adalia rose looking ass bitch chasing us
>what the fuck
>we start laughing because it looks so fucking funny
>were laughing our asses off while we run away
>after like 15min of playing hide and seek in stockholm we run in the subway and get home
>never tell anyone
>she calls filip on his phone like 50 times or something
>she writes fucked up messages on Kamrat like that she really wants too loose her virginity
>i ignore her
>about 1 month later she writes back saying she had sex with some 50 year old dude who kinda raped her
>block her and delete my account
>never heard from here again.

I know, simply tried to make a point that if you suck you should be told that you suck.

Since we're not doing craigslist only, I have story

>17 y/o
>just started browsing Sup Forums
>year is 2008, so msn messenger is the shit everyone uses
>friend of mine who was depressed constantly but had also just started lurking tells me about a webpage with chat rooms for teens to talk to each other about their problems
>tells me that it's full of pedophiles being obvious as fuck
>I decide to check it out
>the moment I look at the spammy chat I can tell that 90% of the posts are from old fucks looking for teeny pussy
>even better, old fucks that don't know how to use the internet very well and still fall for ads and shit
>make up fake msn messenger profile with new email and call myself Rosa
>16 year old hispanic female born in the US living near the border
>went into chat and posted msn giving my "asl" and saying I was very bored and really needed to talk to someone
>got added by a shitload of guys
>all above their 30s
>talked to about 10 of them for a couple days
>mostly were just very horny and straight up started asking for tits
>went on Sup Forums, found some pictures of traps, and cropped off lower body
>would send them those pics and they would go nuts calling me beautiful and shit
>waited until they told me they jerked off to them
>told them I had a very horrible secret and that they would probably hate me forever if they knew or be disgusted
>they thought I was being kinky and egged me on
>sent pics of "myself" again but this time with the 10 inch erect cock fully noticeable
>tell them I'm transgender
>a couple just logged off
>got several death threats
>one guy wanted more
>didn't know what to do with the last one so I just let Rosa down to rest.

pretty fun, harmless high school shenanigans. was pretty funny though

Not gay enough.

nah man your music is pretty good. fuck that hating little bitch.

Just fucking shut up is really the point.

>not either of the first two.

>sees an ad looking for a cashier for a food truck on military base
>this can't be shady
>replies and gives them my info
>they call at 6ish want me to get to spring lake to do the interview which is like 30 mins away at 7
>ask to reschedule for tomorrow and asks for the address
>well give you the address tomorrow user

How about no? Not until people stop telling shitty storys and making shitty music.

Nigger drama

...

>be me
>13 (age will be important later)
>need cock bad
>faggyasfuck.cock
>fuckit Craigslist
>find a guy who hinted toward wanting to fuck
>awyiss.pol
>got raped
>got hospitalized
>mfw I had AIDS
>mfw now he does too
>I gave some nigger AIDS for raping me. shame

good story. i would have handled that differently at best

It was 7 years ago and i was twelve, i realise i should of handled it differently.

and to this day user had not lost his virginity

>be me
>18
>bored
>start a thread
>"Im bored tell me something to do"
>first response
>"suck a dick from craigslist"
>made the post
>met a chubby guy
>~4 in cock
>sucked it
>swallowed

That was the day I learned I'm gay.

I could see 12 year old me handling that sitaution in a similar manner. Don't feel bad man.