Ask a straight white male that works as a security/bouncer at a lesbian bar anything

Ask a straight white male that works as a security/bouncer at a lesbian bar anything.

Pic semi related, most of the girls have super short hair.

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Super short hair is degenerate for women.

are you me 3 years ago?

I would assume so? But some of them are definitely cuties.

Possibly? I landed the gig since spring break.

Whats the biggest reason you throw the lezbos out besides being stupid drunk

Thats a money grabbing attention whore.she is known to have fucked.40+ guys already by the age of 18 lol.

Are there any bisexual women? Have you tried to date one?

Every time i see a lesbian couple, it seems like one of them really wants/misses dick and the other does not. What do you think?

are you Bosnian? why are all the bouncers Bosnian? (In Australia anyway)

Ever been hit by one then hit the bitch back?

Sexual assault, but even then I put the cuffs on them. But biggest non-arrest offense? Probably girls getting too horny and eating eachother out.

Really?

Plenty of bi-curious girls come in there. I can't really initiate first contact because the boss lady kinda marked her territory on me. But at the same time if they approach me or show interest I can flirt back even fuck if I'm lucky. But yeah I've dated a couple regulars.

YES THIS IS EXTREMELY TRUE, as stereotypical as it sounds. Theres always the one girly and the one butch fucking wanna be male looking dyke bitch. Yes I've seen this and gone through this several times during last call dealing with drunk off their ass dykes.

This is in the U.S and nay, I'm Half Croat and Half German, but U.S born and bred.

Actually theres a funny story with that. Had a viking dyke nigger bitch one time try to get tough with me. Mind you she was insanely drunk and she pulled the sexist card on me.

>"I should be security here, all he gets is a free feel everytime he kicks a girl out"
>But there is a female security guard as well.
>Fucking gorgeous martial artist
>Viking nigger bitch gets in my face
>Step back
>"NA I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP TO PROVE NOT ALL MEN ARE STRONG"
>Swings
>Throat drop to the ground
>I'M SORRY I DON'T THINK YOU HEARD ME!!! STEP THE FUCK BACK!!!!

manager got involved quick and separated us. She hates it when the patrons go at it with me just for being a guy.

Where do you live? I've never met 1 Bosnian bouncer mate.

i lived in Brisbane until a month ago

I was a bouncer until a few years ago and also Bosnian. Towards the end of my time though we started to get a lot of Indians and Aussie "girls" who btw are the worst bouncers ever.

share your favorite work story

Because the bible says so, right?

No, personal opinion.

what's the story with you and the manager? sounds like you are fuck buddies

Niggers

you sir are retarded
you might not like it for personal reasons but you can't deny that, for example, the girl OP posted is 9/10 and you would be lucky to be spit on by her you fucking casual

>Be end of finals
>All the college lezbos letting loose
>Front door manning and what not
>Boss lady meets me out front
>"Hey you"
>Whats up katie?
>"No funny business k? You're mine tonight"
>I dunno about that
>"Asshole" blows a kiss
>night gets rowdy and get hit up on the radio to monitor the inside for a while
>Most of the girls are insanely drunk already
>"WOOO CHECK OUT THAT STRIPPER!!"
>"TIP HIM TIP HIM TIP HIM!!!"
>"TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF BIG BOY"
>alot of bi girls are just hooting and hollering towards me
>Hardcore lesbian bitches frowning up it and complain to the manager
>Boss lady tells me come to her office
>On my way
>"OH YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO CUM TO MY OFFICE"
>Get up there and shes already partially undressed
>"Did I ever tell you about your promotion?"
>No you didn't
>"It'll be special"
>Out comes a half nude 20 year old
>"One condition you get us both but you have sit there and jerk off while we play and you have cum the same time we do"

>MFW they held back and forced me to hold back but in the end I got both girls

Shes a 29 year old bi sexual fiend succubus. I met her when my drunk ass wandered into the wrong bar. Before the dykes could kick my ass she stayed with me and had a drink. Instant love at first sight she claimed, pure innocence she said she saw in me. Then after my hungover ass woke up on the bar floor about 10am.

>"You want a job baby?"
>Doing what?
>"I need a man to man my front door and inside" licks lips and bites it
>Well-
>"I'll start you off 18/hr and once I get LGBT night running I'll make sure you're well compensated with your tips"
>DEAL

Katie is fucking weird though, shes in love with me but not in love with me. Our relationship is really fucked up. But then again she goes to therapy often.

>MFW shes being treated for sex addiction too.
>MFW I sometimes have to drive her to her appointments.

I don't see a problem

just use a condom, if she's sex addicted you don't want to get aids and die of cancer

other than that seems like you got a sweet gig, i envy you. i should go to a dyke bar too and try to get lucky

Neither do I, it seems like everything is perfect. However, I don't see myself working here forever. Eventually I want to leave. But she has talked about marriage with me

>"You're signing a prenup, baby whats mine is mine and it will never be yours. Because you're straight and I'm bi you're limited to certain things. But just remember you're mine and mine only, I only share my meat with the bitches in the pack if they're hungry"

Plus again shes fucking crazy. But a smart business mastermind.

>Use a condom

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its a little too late for that. I've probably cummed in her over 100 times now. Caught chlamydia from her already but she took care of my medical expenses.

>MFW it stays tight because shes constantly working out at the gym.

Do you get a lot of trans girls coming in?

Oh wow

Lesbain
Lebane

Lebanon
LEB user

OMG THIS SITE IS HASBOULEH

>>catches chlamydia
>>too late for a condom

she straight told you she will fuck other people, whats stopping her getting infected again with something more serious?
fucking darwin award candidates

Yes we do its funny because the trannies will go at it with the dykes.

>"BTICH YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL WOMAN YOU STILL GOT A DICK BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!!"
>EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME BITCH? YOU'RE JUST MAD BECAUSE I GET MORE THAN YOU!! AND I'M MORE OF A WOMAN YOU WILL EVER BE"
>"FUCK UP YOU FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIMENT"

que brawl between he-shes and tom boy dykes.

I've been clean lately but shes been getting her help. Shes really trying hard, but go figure for a nympho fucking fiend succubus. But now that you've reminded me, I'll probably start setting a boundary.

been bouncing for 10 years. i bet i can do it better than you.

you probably can. I never did bouncing or security work prior to this. Just know from the lesbian cop that comes in on Sundays what she taught me about Penal codes and what can and I can't do. And then just apply brute force or verbal judo in situations.

Good for you, setting boundaries! Either stop working for her or stop fucking with her, before things get out of hand and we find out about you after the murder-suicide hits a slow news day.

brisbane bouncers are gigantic faggots.

showed my security licence when i lost my drivers licence, cunts are like "no gtfo", every other city i've been to "sure bro, come on in"

its like an influx of 2000 rookies that have no idea how the industry works.

post moar stories

Ever see any normal acting ones that dont act like idiots that are kinda passable?

better question: ever fucked one?

you didn't know that from your fucking training? jesus christ mate. the use of force continuum should have been hammered into your skull.

you'll learn whats appropriate as you go, but seriously dont listen to cops. they are not your friend and will use what you say to fuck you over. they write everything down (just like you should) and bring it up in court if you ever get in the shit.

i've never thrown a punch while working, you dont have to. 20 minutes to walk a faggot out the door is better than 2 minutes of CCTV showing you belting some cunt who's too drunk to know good sense.

Fa/tg/uy here, any tips for getting /fit/ besides the sticky and an EC stack?

Also, has security gotten tighter in general since the florida bar shooting?

Beyond true. 9/10 times that chick will hook up with a guy as soon as the lesbian fling goes up in flames.

The butch is in it to win it. But the ladylike lesbians are negotiable.

>stop working for her
>Murder-Suicide
>Gets out of hand

>Be a couple weeks ago
>Been driving her around all day to her appointments and getting her errands done
>Katie this isn't what I signed up for I'm not your fucking personal assistant
>Shut the fuck up and drive
>Pull over
>KATIE I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING LAP DOG
>"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AND PUT THIS DOGGY COLLAR ON, BECAUSE YOU BELONG TO ME"
>Get out the car pissed
>DRIVE YOUR FUCKING SELF
>"wait wait wait wait wait!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I'M SORRY BABY PLEASE I'M SORRY"
>FUCK YOU
>Que her breaking down crying latching onto me
>"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I'M SORRY DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN IT ITS JUST MY MEDICATION HAS ME ALL OUT OF SYNC, I LOVE YOU user PLEASE BABY I'M SORRY I'LL SHUT UP"
>Katie....
>"LETS GO TO SIX FLAGS TODAY MY TREAT??"
>Que us pulling over in Valencia near some remote hillside fucking up against a tree
>"I'm sorry baby lets go home"
>But six flags is literally 2 miles away
>Ok lets go on that virtual coaster
>While we're on it shes jerking me off in the very back
>Katie thats enough
>Takes her pills
>"Sorry..."

like what I'm gonna leave in a bit

Actually I've seen some pretty good looking ones. But I had the privilege to see something I shouldn't have.

>Post-Op tranny flashes me her "Vag"
>GOOD GOD!!!! Vomits

Well its good thing I've developed better verbal judo then

In cali it dosen't really matter your size anymore as long as you have "Verbal judo" but being fat? Id suggest you start lifting weights. I've seen fat Samoan security guards. Being fat is also intimidating.

I am one. I fuck plenty of lesbians and bi girls alike

tits and dick, some would say the best of 2 worlds

man, I thought my job was awesome. you have it good!

Shit I didn't notice your post, actually. I almost experimented. But soon as "her" boner popper up from that skirt. I couldn't do it, just too fucked up.

>One night after closing
>Katie leaves me and the bartenders to clean up and lock up
>Last call, a trannie wants to be escorted to her car
>Yeah sure
>Walk her to her mustang
>"You're a sweet guy you know what?"
>You don't know me
>"But I can see it in your eyes, you're open minded"
>Sure
>Puppy eyes kill me
>She leans in for a kiss
>But instead sucks on my neck
>No stop
>She grabs the meat
>Feels something poke me
>Her other hand is rubbing herself
>STOP JUST STOP
>"sorry..."
>Drives off

looked kinda like this

No only faggots would say that.

Everyones a faggot at least a lil bit

why do they call it "taking a shit" when you are really leaving a shit?

are the trannies generally welcome around lesbian bars? do they ever have good luck with women?

a matter of perspective, you take it from one place to another no?

Yes and no, from what Katie told me. Prior to Caityln Jenner. Trannies were kinda looked at like a distain or kinda "Yeah you're a woman but stay the fuck away from Lesbian bars and if you do come don't think you're immune from problems."

They're more welcome in full on gay male bars. But Lesbian bars its kinda half and half. But since Jenner, they're a little more accepted.

>looked kinda like this

Shit I'd have let her keep sucking my neck, taken her home, and fucked her right in the boi pussy.

kinda sucks. i love going out as a trap, but i am not gay, and i hate being hit on by men

discord.gg/012OE9ge1GbnLicdx

come visit b gay porn general.

HA

If they're post op and lost the dick, yeah they're readily accepted but pre-op still got the penor between the legs. Generally hostile towards them. Well at least the hardcore dykes.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Still having fun

ew faggot.

FFFFUUUKKKEKKEK