I'm in such deep emotional pain that I actually want to tear my own skin off

I'm in such deep emotional pain that I actually want to tear my own skin off.
I don't want to kill myself, but I don't want to live like this anymore.
Why can't I be a normal fucking human being with a life like everyone else.

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kathypilcher.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/og-mandino-scrolls.pdf
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>I actually want to tear my own skin off
Yeah, good luck with that.

I'm sorry. I don't know how else to describe it.
It physically hurts. Like jesus christ it hurts.

>be me
>25
>just woke up
>about to go shoot heroin before work
>hopefully don't get sick at work if I do enough
>die if do too much
>fack

>deep emotional pain
>comes crying to Sup Forums

i have a small dick too OP
i know the feels

try morfine.

>25
>heroin junkie
Just do the world a favor and become an hero

I would do heroin but I'm deathly afraid of needles.
I've tried alcoholism but it doesn't work, it just makes me just as miserable but hungrier.

I'm sorry I don't have any friends or family

I actually have a really big dick
It's probably the only thing I have going for me

My grandma actually just died because her kidneys were failing so she just said "just fuck me up with morphine fam"
That's not quite a direct quote but you get the idea.

Go back to tumblr, kiddies. Maybe they'll care about your stupid problems.

where are you from?

USA

1. pain signals the need for change
2. your status quo is the overall sum of your habits and thoughts. In your case, they are working in a negative feedback loop. (You're not alone in this, I'd say this happens to most people at some point in their life.)
3. I know all the self-help bullshit sounds cheesy and useless ("you must first respect *yourself*") but desperate times call for desperate measures - and self-loathing will only make the negative feedback cycle worse
4. thus, it's worth a shot - even if it seems futile or ludicrous, try it: start your change by making the radical decision that you actually love yourself, rather than hate.
5. be ready to change everything about how you lead your life, attack bad habits, replace them with good.

Your life is kind of crazy in a negative way, so you have to be willing to try something crazy in a positive way

Try the first chapter/scroll of Og Mandino's "10 scrolls" - it works as a kind of system-reboot for habits, you're supposed to read it 3 times a day for 30 days. The rest of the scrolls get all religious-y for my tastes, but I like the first one:
kathypilcher.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/og-mandino-scrolls.pdf

But I do love myself. If anything, I love myself too much. I'm fucking cool.

Nobody else seems to love me though. I have no fucking friends and no fucking relationships and what the fuck is the point of being alive if I have no one to share it with and nothing that makes me happy. I could kill myself right now and no one would notice.

How do you spend your free time? What used to give you happiness?

How old are you?

>How do you spend your free time?
I don't even know how to answer this anymore.
A lot of the time, I'm tired as fuck so I just sleep.
Otherwise I just sit around and feel miserable. Watch some shitty things on TV. Play shitty vidya. Whatever eats up time.

>What used to give you happiness?
Hanging out with people. Traveling. Getting laid's always nice.

>How old are you?
26

Normal is a setting on a dryer, peeps don't have it. Hope u get better.

I'm running out of time to post, but I feel you.
I'm glad you like yourself. I think that puts you at an advantage, at least compared to most anons

I'm working through similar things. Brain chemicals are a bitch. What would it take to change my psyche into getting joy out of social interaction? To crave it as much (if not more) as I crave video games and vices? (Thankfully my vices aren't that self-destructive yet)

Those are the questions I'm asking myself lately. I'm perceiving my brain as a giant rolling boulder with a ton of inertia--it's possible to change direction, but it takes a lot.

Hey OP. Try meditation.

Idk what you're talking apart but that's a sweet ass car

So in other words you have nothing helpful to contribute.
Well thanks anyways I guess.

Nah being alone with my thoughts is shit.
I need to leave the TV/music on at pretty much all times just so I have some ambient noise to distract me.

my ex left me for some weeaboo redditor with rich parents and they got married after being together for 8 months

she was fucking awful and I was glad I didn't have to try breaking her off, but still

it could be worse OP

Something similar happened to me a few years ago.
They didn't get married though. I thought they would. They dated for like 5 fucking years.
She also got diagnosed as bipolar and told me I was basically responsible for her descent into depression because she worried about me so much.

Point is, I'm sorry for your shit, but don't try to do the "it could be worse" thing, because I've already lived pretty much all the shit life has to offer.

>So in other words you have nothing helpful to contribute. Well thanks anyways I guess.
Ouch. Now I regret spending the time to write anything. Do you belittle others that try to help like this? Is this some indication of why others don't want to be around you?

I'm gonna agree with , if you need to leave TV/music on at all times to distract yourself, you're only distracting yourself from doing anything about the situation. I actually think the entertainment industry consciously and deliberately engineers all of us to turn into people like this so we have no choice but to keep consuming... but that's off topic

Gotta go. Good luck.

Nah I'm sorry, I'm just sad as shit and lashing out. I do that anymore.

And you're probably right about all that distraction stuff, but that's just because I don't know what the fuck else to do. Everything seems so hopeless.