Confess

Confess.

she had a feminine penis so it wasn't gay

I wanked once

The warning at the start told me she was of age so I'm not a pedo

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life

I am not smart

no

...

...

I went on a summer camp and pretended to be sick to get out. Good enough, OP?

>she
>penis
>not gay

Nice meme

I jerked off everyday from 8 to 19

haha

my bf is away for whole summer and I already sucked off 2 cocks. Though I do not count this as cheating because I was kinda drunk both times and its just an oral sex with guys ill never meet again nor I intend to

>sucked off 2 cocks
>don't consider this cheating

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Just collecting STDs for him as a welcome home gift, slut?

i fantasized about cumming inside that nun while i listened to her screams of protest

there was no penetration so im fine. Though I wont do that again, not that it makes me feel bad but just to test my self how strong can I be

You just tested everyone else how much of a slut you can be.

Kill yourself.

i lost my virginity at 13 to my 16 year old boyfriend. im still with him.

you're a bad person

fucking whore

...

Okay,
A) You have no idea how STDs work, clearly.
B) If you have to "test" your ability to resist random cock from strangers, you are the literal definition of a "slut."

nerds kill yourselves i just made a confession you were supposed to comfort me

I smeared my feces onto a church when I was a teen

>>Implying humans are monogamous

Please see

>guys pretending to be gurls

...

I don't have to. You implied your relationship was when you said you don't consider your acts "cheating." You already took it out of the context of human nature by defining your relationship and your thurst for cum.

i masturbate to loli. im not a pedo

Your bf is probably filling his boots while he's away so I don't blame you

>user pretending to be smart

not gonna comfort a 50 cent slut

i feel no guilt about pissing in the shower

>>Implying I'm the girl and not another person

When making mashed potatoes I throw in a microwaved mashed turnip as well and mix it in.

i once pushed her head down while i came

Or just pointing out the fucking obvious.

...

If believing what he says turns you on. Go ahead and stroke it cuck faggot

>implying its a girl to begin with

Sex was never defined. Learn what "implying" means, before you start using it again.

>Confess.
I confess that I want to rape and torture her for real. I don't even care that she's like 50.

youre such a faggots i literally rage right now. what does it matter girl or not.

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost four years, and I occasionally wonder what it would be like to be with another woman...
That may be too much for /b...

It doesn't. That's my damn point. Reading comprehension would benefit you greatly. You were the one who implied it was a "girl", no one else made that assumption.

So...is she just going to be raped by zombie mountain forever, or what?

And it was you that woke up this morning and decided to be a fucking faggot.

Im a born and raised mormon who served a full two year mission all the while hopelessly addicted to beastaphilic porn and fantasize about fucking a horse and have attempted it a time or two. Offences to get me excommunicated, and i still go to chirch every week and smile at every member i see all the while knowing there is no way im not going to hell

Pretty sure all undead have limp dicks for eternity. It comes with the job description.

I've always wanted to find the love that would save me from hatred of people, but it actually had to come from me

Been using my SILs panties to jerk-off for 2 years now

was them people who does not know your bf and never will do?

Omg no, you called me a faggot because you lost the argument! Touché!

Quads, Motherfucker!

oh god quads

yes, probably

does your bf agree with that no cheating rule? beacuse "cheating" is an empty word, it musts be fullfilled with the previous agreement to give it a full meaning.
btw i don't judge anyone that cheats. every people that can cheat, cheats sometimes. maybe rarely, but it simply happens

Well tbh, I don't feel that much guilt. I mean, last fall he did give Jake from the lacrosse team a cheeky blowie when they were both wasted after a party but I forgave him as he told me right after it happened

then it might be a bad behaviour. simply imagine the reverse situation and how you would react. take it for the future: i'm not saying that you can't cheat, but at least if you want to do it, try to do it with people that can't connect with your relationship, it's a basic form of respect. growing up i learnt to do it

You gotta be an idiot slut
Why drag him through your slut experience blind?
Why be in a relationship you don't even respect?
Real questions.
Would you be okay with hot girls sucking him off?
Also kinda drunk is bullshit.. i have been shit faced and still know what I'm doing. I never blew a guy while drunk.lol

Meh. He's got fists.

I would have had her tied to a breeding bench in the kennels and fucked by dogs.

it's not about feeling guilty, if you do it better enjoy it and then forget it.
i'm just saying that if someone feels that he wants to try something new, it's more sane to talk about it. intelligent people can afford that, always better than start telling lies and lies

Boom. Hitch slap!

>soul
sole

fuck

i pay my girlfriend's 15 year old cousin for massages like at a parlor
when we first started i wore shorts under the towel but now i don't wear anything under and when she gets to my legs she always makes sure I'm taken care of

and my girl doesn't know

nice

...

Stand By Me anyone?

barf-o-rama

same boat dude, same boat

SHAME

i killed the neighbours cat

I have a boner when i poo

...

Those dubs

?

i'm a very naughty boy

Last place I worked, any shoes left in the office overnight by female coworkers got filled with cum.

Got hard again when I saw them wearing those cum-infused heels.

I hate my girlfriend

I'm starting to like this kid

I'll confess you.

Being a creep must be lonely. Sad really.

I dont like how cold I am with people but I dont know how to fix myself

No, it's a lot of fun, actually. Appreciate your concern.

Yeah!

CONFESS HER HARD!

lies. You pay her for a shoulder rub and rub one out in the bathroom faggot

Fuck off

those double dubs suggest her pussy's gonna be flapping in the breeze forever.

I'm pretty sure I'm bi but I have a fear of being in a relationship with a girl because my first one was such a disaster when it ended.
>Fear of falling in love an heart break
You are correct. I'm a guy btw.
I also feel like I'm surrounded by nothing but old people and I feel like I've had something stolen from me by not being surrounded by youth. Where do young people hang out in a small town? I'm so lonely.

Thanks for being honest.. what would happen if you told your church?

Oh?

How about no!

How old are you?

Have you ever had the balls to tell a woman about your activities? I'm guessing no, but I'd love to see her reaction and watch you shrink.

One time I pissed in a girls lemonade so she could have a little bit if me inside her.

double 69 you know what that means. Hes gonna eat her pussy while he rips her head of with his cock

Start by killing yourself and going to hell.

Do you think the drink would've tasted like piss?

>a bit if me inside her

Cheeky blowie?

This isn't fucking Nandos

>if you had the balls blah blah blah
>i'd love to see her
>watch you

I kissed a girl once and liked it.