/NFL/ General : autism edition

FA:Lions finally end saga, cut Stephen Tulloch
DEN:'Clear' Miller would get better offer as FA
WAS:Cousins, Redskins have not made any progress
NYG:Rashad Jennings to see 15+ carries a game?
MIA:Tunsil suffered 'growing pains' this spring
DET:Zenner 'early front-runner' for big back job
PIT:Le'Veon Bell looking for $15 million a year?
NO:Mark Ingram wants to retain passing-game role
BUF:Bills WR Goodwin falls short in Olympics bid
DEN:Broncos QB Lynch headed for 'redshirt' year?
DEN:Mark Sanchez 'has to win' QB job in camp
DEN:Broncos and Sanders have had 'good talks'


>tfw same old news

nth for b ears

- Romo is going to throw less times than Russell Wilson.
- Romo will lead the league in Passer Rating.
- Romo will have a career low Int%
- Romo will lead the league in TD%
- Romo will play at least 14 games in the regular season
- The Cowboys have two 1,000 yard recievers
- The Cowboys will rush for over 3000 yards
- The Cowboys will have the #1 offense
- Cowboys will score over 30 points a game
- Cowboys defense will be a Top 10 Defense
- Cowboys will play in the NFCCG

>Quarterback
Cowboys > Redskins > Giants > Eagles
>Runningback
Cowboys > Eagles > Giants > Redskins
>Wide Receiver
Cowboys = Giants > Redskins > Eagles
>Offensive Line
Cowboys > Eagles > Giants > Redskins
>Defensive Line
Cowboys > Giants > Redskins > Eagles
>Linebacker
Giants > Cowboys > Eagles > Redskins
>Cornerback
Redskins > Giants > Cowboys > Eagles
>Safety
Eagles > Cowboys > Giants > Redskins

NFC North
Aaron Rodgers 67% 34 TDs 9 INTs 4,400 yards
Matt Stafford 59% 29 TDs 16 INTs 4,600 yards
Jay Cutler 61% 21 TDs 16 INTs 3,200 yards
Teddy Bridgewater 55% 20 TDs 14 INTs

NFC east
Eli Manning 59% 30 TDs 18 INTs 4,600 yards
Tony Romo 71% 30 TDs 8 INTs 3,800 yards
Kirk Cousins 60% 28 TDs 10 INTs 3,900 yards
Carson Wentz 53% 19 TDs 10 INTs 2,900 yards

NFC South
Drew Brees 67% 31 TDs 15 INTs 4,500 yards
Cam Newton 60% 28 TDs 12 INTs 3,700 yards
Matt Ryan 65% 30 TDs 14 INTs 4,600 yards
Jameis Winston 58% 22 TDs 13 INTs 3,100 yards

NFC West
Russell Wilson 58% 25 TDs 11 INTs 4,200 yards
Carson Palmer 62% 31 TDs 16 INTs 4,600 yards
Jared Goff 52% 20 TDs 14 INTs 3,200 yards
Blaine Gabbert 58% 20 TDs 10 INts 3,100 yards

>Yfw Von Miller goes to chase a check on another team and never makes it back to the SB

Oh Tiki.

And then he gets injured in week 8 and the cowboys miss the playoffs again

What would it take for Jason Garrett to get fired?

>yfw he signs a pity payday with the Browns and becomes leader in Brown's history

The mental gymnastics that Cowboys fans do is actually impressive

cowboys to be bad

Trade Romo, lose 14 games, cut all back up QBs and sign RBs

try to blow cowboys stadium up but theyd probably just fire his assistant

Who /wildcardguaranteed/ here?

Here loud and proud.

>Romo is going to throw less times than Russell Wilson
What does that have to do with anything?

So I've been doing some mock drafts and I've seen Ezekiel Elliot go 6th-8th overall. Man, that seems like a steep price... I am eager to take him over Jamaal Charles or a dime a dozen WR.

Pick 5 events you'd like to see, then 3 you wouldn't like to see


1. Romo throws 44 TDs and 28 ints
2. Brett Favre becomes a commentator
3. Drew Brees catches a deflected pass for the TD
4. Derek Carr and Blake Bortles put up 120 points total
5. Alex Smith's pants are torn off in a game
6. Joe Buck drunken rampage on air
7. The Giants go 19-0
8. Tom Brady hits bellichick with a pass
9. Aaron Rodgers sex tape with Munn
10. Jay Curler taking a shot on camera
11. Teddy Bridgewater saying "Nigga"
12. Jimmy Graham fights Gronk
13. Romo makes a burger on a grill
14. A punter throws 5 TDs
15. Jon Gruden choking Jim Nantz
16. Tim Tebow baked outta his mind
17. Cleveland wins a playoff game
18. Manziel naked on SI
19. Trump gets stumped
20. The Raiders beat anyone
21. A pair of very nice tits
22. A penis
23. Aaron Rodgers with tits
24. Tom Brady's penis
25. Pats getting BTFO

>Derek Carr and Blake Bortles put up 120 points
>Joe Buck drunken rampage
>A punter throws 5 TDs
>Cleveland wins a playoff game
>The Raiders beat anyone
Don't want to see:
>The Giants go 19-0
>Manziel naked on SI
>Trump gets stumped

2, 6, 21, 15, 12

7, 23, 24

na

What a cute girl.

Because if the Cowboys are running a lot and Romo being the super clutch super accurate and super smart QB that he is will be gutting defenses that will be committing to Runs. MVP candidate in 2016 will bet a picture of my ex gf onnthe toilet if he isnt

>girl

I have bad news for you user.

I pick 17 four times and 25 once. My three are 19 24 and 20

Am I gay now?

>now

>Future threatening Russell Wilson

what the shit is this guy thinking?

He's currently smoking massive quantities of bubble gum through his dillhole.

12, 17, 25, 15, 11

1, 4, 7

redskins have a better overall receiver corps, cowboys just have Dez

not even a cowgirl fan but that is completely wrong

>Team is barely ever in OP post
Can't decide if that's good or bad

It's good for me so I can remain unimportant.

It's good it means they are likely keeping out of trouble

>like to see
Brett Farve becomes a commentator
Alex Smith's pants are torn off in a game
Tom Brady hits bellichick with a pass
Teddy Bridgewater saying "Nigga" (kek)
Cleveland wins a playoff game

>Wouldn't like to see
Trump gets stumped
The Raiders beat anyone
A pair of very nice tits

>Future rolls up
>Windows roll down
>Future's Where Ya At blares out the car
>"Ay yo Rus!"
>Russell Wilson gazes back in his usual 1000 yard stare fashion
>"Eat ma heat, nigga!"
>Future fires off rounds
>Russ scrambles and dodges all the bullets
>Toss a football into Future's car
>A loud thud
>Russell Wilson runs away after

Can QBs throw a football hard enough to kill someone?

SEA:Russell Wilson on Future : "Fuck that nigga"

This
Terrance Williams is very underrated imo
Cole Beasley is like a Edelman-Lite
And Jason Witten is their franchises best TE, ever

What is a play that seems to never work in your team's playbook?

any pass over 15 yards

Chip Kellys 3rd down screens

don't forget about 2nd and long senpai
might be a cheeky run who knows??

6, 11, 14, 15, 25

1, 7, 19

won't lie, I'd watch the Rodgers/Munn sex tape. Those pictures she sent to her ex years ago prove she's a freak.

what's that faggot play called where the QB takes the snap and then throws it to a receiver laterally (parallel to the line of scrimmage) as quick as possible?

>also you now remember the pants on the ground song

Someone screengrab this. I mean, if you want a pic of Tiki's 600lb cousin on the toilet.

Flat?

yeah that one thx
never works

...

Funny af.

...

Who?

a dindu that got made good

SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF /NFL/

Old Bay
Tiki
p12
BB
Sneak
Scarletism
Carrmageddon

I'll never be seven deadly sins. I guess I'm seven cardinal virtues.

>this became the new Antonio Brown's perfect smile pasta

>anyone on this shithole being virtuous

I bet there's a lot of virtue here, as in virgins. lol.

The words you are saying together make no sense.

I don't know what sense is.

>"It's clear to see when you get a concussion. In football, it's - concussions happen, if not on every play, then they happen like every other, every third play, you know. With all the helmet contact, guys hittin' the ground, heads hittin' ground. It's simply when your brain touches your skull from the movement or the inertia, man. It's simple to get a concussion, you know. ...I don't know how many I've had over my career, you know, but I've definitely had my fair share."

NIGGA, I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN A PART OF SUCH FUCKING GODDAMN DISGRACE OF WHAT THE FUCK I'M SEEING RIGHT NOW DAWG - EDP445, American Philosopher

Get a job

I have one m8.

G-go puckers...

A job isn't a job if they don't pay you.

I work at Chipotle lol.

EAT

Tripfag posts always remind me of when Lisa Simpson was confused by the "Yahoo Serious Film Festival" sign

"I know those words but I don't know what they mean..."

...

If you could be locked in a sports bar with 5 tripfags of /NFL/ watching the Superbowl which ones would they be?

None of them because nobody likes us.

This desu

>hating based young Einstein

>vegan
>dated a tranny

dear god i hope blaine gabbert becomes the starter

Actually if I was allowed to have a knife I would do this because it would be like that stuck in the middle with you scene from reservoir dogs 5 x in a row

So who's going to be Mr. Orange and kill you?

probably Old Bay because he's a whiny rat faggot

I am now imaging Old Bay laying in a pool of his own blood.

5, 6, 11, 16, 21 and 25

Mayo, Pie, Elvis, Sean annnd Edelman Army.

Weddle's Taped Fingers, Dalton's Flaming Hair, Sean, UTV and...Tiki, but just to have him choke to death on a rubber version of romo's dick

a little offended desu

>UTV

Inb4 obligatory screencap

found the archiver

it'd be weird having an iggles trip at a superbowl party.

you forgot slot

Carrmageddon
Raider Nation
Oingo Boingo
IE Brah
Darth Raider
And TDK if I can get 6

slot can party with the losers in sneaks basement.

What about alphacheese?

R12, Joe staley's bloody nose, Neon Deion, Tony Reali, and Fuck Kentucky. NORCAL doesn't make the cut.

...

Neon Deion was a fag. He made us Braves fans look bad.

reee

w-who will you do next? pls scare an /nfl/ trip away

I volunteer Old Bay.

beebs, quads confirm

is PACnw a niners fan?

No )=

its not like my posts are easily grabbed either