YLYL

YLYL
Black people edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=dUhuv_QFYCA
dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs30.pdf
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

wanna translate to white?

This gentleman has found himself in the company of a rather dark skinned female

>a nigger finds another nigger too nigger?

He couldn't pick up some ghetto white girl or a chica?
He should be ashamed, that thing looks disgusting.

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One baby daddy is niggerer than the other

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checked

blacks are such racists.

Attorney here with predominantly Black clientele. These true stories made me laugh.

>Defend Negro in traffic case
>Judge orders Negro to go to different floor of court house to watch traffic safety movie & return with proof he watched it
>I also explain to Negro what he is to do
>Negro goes to a commercial movie theater & watches a Hollywood entertainment movie
>Returns with his ticket stub for proof
>Judge calls me: "WTF user?"

>Negro client seeks divorce from wife
>Negro says he lives with his wife, but in separate rooms
>Wife says he lives with his "ho"
>Negro says that because he's a professional clergyman, man of God, her accusations are ridiculous
>Judge says "Because you're living with your wife, you must pay half household expenses
>Negro client realizes that claiming to live at home will cost him dollas
>Negro client: "Don't be listenin to me Judge, listen to my wife. I'm just a lyin ole' nigger."
> Whole courtroom erupts in laughter

Negroes love the Caddy’s

>In court, Negro before judge declaring bankruptcy
>Judge: "You can either have your kids or your Cadillac. You can't afford both."
>Negro: "You'll have to take my kids. I need my car."
>Judge gets up and storms out of court

Different Negro, but LOVES his Caddy
>Judge: You can’t keep your home AND have a Cadillac.
>Negro: You can live in your car, but you can’t drive your house. I’ll keep the Cadillac.
>Judges jaw hits floor. His point was Negro was bankrupt and needed to trade the Caddy in for a used Honda.

>Me: new to law. Don't know Negro slang.
>Negro asks me: "Can you put a suitcase on a cat?"
>Me: huh?
>Finally figure out he wanted me to file a lawsuit against a guy
>put = file, suitcase = lawsuit, on= against, cat = man
>Soon after another Negro calls me up. I now know about ‘suitcases’
>New Negro: "Do you do luggage?"
>Me: "Yes sir, we do luggage."

Other Black requests / complaints
>"We had insects in the family."
>mfw I figured out there was incestuous abuse

>Negro: "I want an annoyment!"
>mfw I figured out he wanted an annulment of his marriage

>Negro: "I want a free flirtation."
>mfw I figured out he wanted a free consultation

>Negro: “I’ll take a polyester test.”
>mfw I figured out he was willing to take a polygraph test

>Negro: "They are putting me through the changes."
>mfw I still have no clue what this means, but hear it all the time

Negro court stories!

I've learned in my career NEVER ask a Black why he did something stupid-- you'll NEVER get an intelligible answer

>Negro client divorcing wife & trying to hide his assets
>He buys a parcel of land & PUTS HER NAME ON THE DEED!
>Wife searches for property she owns & finds the deed
>epic asset hide fail

Different client
>Negro client divorcing wife & we're trying to minimize his child support payments
>Negro tells me he has other kids to whom he pays support
>This is good as it will reduce his child support payments to wife he’s divorcing
>Negro is on witness stand: "I don't have any kids from other women."
>When he's off the stand I made the mistake of asking why he said he didn't when he said he did earlier
>Negro: "Did I say that?"
>mfw I have no idea what version is true

Theres a handle of a bat in the lower right hand corner you dipshits.

Child support laws designed in Anglo Saxon common law fall apart when applied to Blacks. They're so promiscuous the ludicrous occurs.

>Fathers are to pay a % of their income as child support
>20% for the first kid
>25% for the first two kids
>50% for 5 or more kids
>These rules apply per baby mama: 2 kids by 2 women = 40% income to child support
>Horny Negro has 12 kids by 10 women
>mfw he owes 220% of his income in child support

kek

Unlike cops, social workers, parole officers, and others whose professions, unintentionally, put them in constant contact with Negroes, I actually have to get my Negroes to pay me. Not as easy as it sounds

>Did work for client
>Client didn’t pay
>Calls, letters, etc. still no pay
>Have to sue him
>Garnish his wages to get paid
>6 mo later same Negro calls me up and asks me to take new case
>Me: I don’t want clients who don’t pay their bills
>Negro: You got all yo money. You got nothin’ to complain about.

Different Negro
>Take divorce case
>Do all prep work
>Hours spent doing good work
>Client reconciles marriage
>Refuses to pay because he didn’t get the divorce
>Me: Sir, you are paying for the time taken to prepare your case
>Negro: I paid for a divorce, but didn’t get one. Why should I have to pay you?

Protip: when dealing with Negroes, make sure you are paid IN FULL before you deliver services in full, otherwise you’re not going to get paid.

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When representing Blacks in court, it’s VERY important that your directions to “dress appropriately” are specific! Otherwise, your clients will incriminate themselves.

> Client on trial for drug charge
> Shows up wearing a shirt with a marijuana leaf

> Client accused of crime involving gang activity
> Shows up wearing gang colors (bandana, shirt, etc.)

> Client on trial for a shooting
> Shows up in shirt with pistol on shirt

> Hearing for probation violation
> Client shows up in “Rules are 4 Suckas” t-shirt

Not only must you tell them what appropriate dress is, you have to tell them how to behave with specifics
> Don’t call judge “Dawg”
> Don’t swear on witness stand

Check out the black couple interviewd in this.
youtube.com/watch?v=dUhuv_QFYCA
They like the aryan look.

Their drug dealers could have told you to collect in full at the start

>this thread

actual retard. that's her arm across his torso.

Man I ain't no fancy nigga son, I just got shit to do

Nice pasta

Moar

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>actual retard
look to the right of her arm

>intelligible
not used this way dumbfucker

I went to a predominately black high school, about 90% black, and they are racist against everybody, including darker and lighter skinned black people. Basically light skinned niggers are crazy, too dark niggers are too responsible, albeit still ratchet bitches, and the inbetween darkness are just plain ratchet. Now there are some that don't fit and are actually respectable people, but most are ratchet bitches that are racist against their own kind.

I wrote them, people liked them, so I copied them and now paste them.

Would you rather I re-write them for every ylyl Negro thread?

Filthy Negro.

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Chris Rock is a racist as fuck bigoted nigger

Same, I work in a city which is 90% black, they're way more racist against their own than they are about white people.

>saved

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Protip when representing negros. Always advise them to take the plea deal

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They aré very good! Please continue

no you didn't or you'd understand that every state in america reduces child support for if you have more than one person you're paying to
Also traffic is criminal and the rest are civil cases.
Attorneys don't mix unless doing a favor for a friend.

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Ok but most niggers dont have real life jobs though. What happens then?

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he is thanking you nigu

name something worse than an entitled millenigger?

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He has to pay 220% of nothing.

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At this rate will we eventually run out of black people?

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Do you not know how they procreate?

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their children

.

> Yes, the point was that laws for Whites can't be applied to Blacks. Obviously the judge didn't order him to pay over 200% of his income in child support.

> LoL

> Decades in a career will lead to practicing in different areas. It's like a cop working beat, detective, trainer, SWAT.

You're a Negro. Be quiet.

could someone translate that last line?

What would these entitled brats have without their pretend sense of being oppressed?

Guy sensei is AWESOME!!

a group of them?

Lactose intolerant

>no you didn't or you'd understand that every state in america reduces child support for if you have more than one person you're paying to

That depends. A guy I was stationed with, when the judge got done with him he was required to pay more than he made. When he pointed this out to the judge, the reply was you need to get another job to make the money.
>Also traffic is criminal and the rest are civil cases.
Traffic is not always criminal and many Attorneys handle both traffic and civil cases. Look at a phone book.
>Attorneys don't mix unless doing a favor for a friend.
Yes they do look at a phone book.

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What part of lack toast in toddler ant don't you understand?

>Ok but most niggers dont have real life jobs though. What happens then?

There are no guidelines. The judge just has to sort it out the best he can.

BTW, if you're thinking of law school, realize that (outside corporate law) most of your clients will be backward 3rd worlders who can't navigate modern society.

not knowing Consumer Credit Protection Act caps child support at 65% of income across the nation.

I'm pretty sure Chris Rock hates niggers more than anyone. He definitely talks more shit about niggers than anyone I've ever met. He'd probably hang himself if he could but he's so skinny he doesn't put any pressure on his neck he just kind of flaps in the wind.

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their stench

She are teh niggest

pass the ashtray...

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Ha ha what hilarious and 100% true stories! Now I'm convinced niggers really are subhumans :D

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>I've learned in my career NEVER ask a Black why he did something stupid-- you'll NEVER get an intelligible answer

I have experienced this at my job. But why? It is incredibly aggravating.

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YAAASSSS QUEEEN

Negro, the point was that Blacks are so promiscuous that child support laws designed for Whites can't be applied to them . . . The judge did not order him to pay over twice his income in child support.

Please get a vasectomy before you become a client of mine and the judge orders you to pay 65% of your income in child support. Negro.

Is this true??

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This isn't entirely accurate. He was sued in the 80s for discrimination against black tenants. Not saying it's accurate of course but there is a pretty long list of people that accused him of being racist before this.

Dude lost a lot of weight. Good for him.

this. this so fucking hard.

no the judge didn't.
either your friend was trying to get pity or you're full of shit.
Consumer Credit Protection Act caps payment of child support even with alimony at 65%.

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Black people are the biggest fucking drain on the united states and they're trying to bring everybody down with them. I truly believe if we eliminated them, things would instantly get better. I don't care how they get eliminated. They just need to be gone. If we ended ebt/gov assistance, they would surely all starve themselves out. The remaining would kill eachother off. Hopefully these things will still actually happen, it'll just take a little longer. Fuck those worthless pieces of nappy headed greasy shit. They dont deserve what we've given them.

dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs30.pdf

because niggers

That is disturbing. She should'nt curse and say "pussy" or "dick". It's unbecoming.

LOL Trumptards really believe this, holy shit. My sides, never change Sup Forums

god this is depressing

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>Lack toast in toddler ant
Topkek