Be me

>be me
>naturalized citizen
>been married to an American woman for 17 years
>two kids, 16 and 15
>live in a house, nothing fancy but both kids have their own room
>one day wife picks a fight, accusing you of cheating on her
>thisisbs.jpg
>she wants divorce
>hire a lawyer, come up with a plan
>meet with wife and her young, hot lawyer "friend"
>she wants everything, including custody of the kids
>you and your lawyer look at each other and shrug
>produce a document listing all your assets in your home country, easily worth 4x everything you have in USA
>wife's lawyer "friend" pales, pulls wife to the side
>whispers.avi
>get ready to offer a deal: split the assets in Othercountry evenly, she gets to keep the stuff in USA, and agree on shared custody (I'll give away money to make the legal battle as short as possible)
>they come back, lawyer "friend" says they want the proceedings to take place in Othercountry.
>ok.jpg
>half a year later
>the proceedings in Othercountry are coming to an end, court splits assets in Othercountry evenly as that's the law, no exceptions
>wife smug, thinks the court will grant custody to her
>you and judge look at each other and shrug, tell the bitch that in Othercountry 15 years-old is able to decide which parent they want to stay with
>both kids fed up with wife's lawyer "friend" who moved in practically the same day you moved out
>both want to stay with you
>femalerageface.jpg
>judge not amused by wife's behavior, announces that court has no reason to go against the kids' wishes
>take back your Othercountry citizenship and move in one of the two houses you inherited from relatives with the kids, kids naturalized within months
>sign legal documents stating ex-wife can keep everything but your funs, start process of bringing them to Othercountry
>bitch is mad, but no-one else cares (even lawyer "friend" left her because she's a bitch)
>live happily with kids in Othercountry

pic related: pretty close to what my new gf looks like.

>can keep everything *in USA* but your funs

Pussy

What a story! I had an event that changed my life occur as well...

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, holmes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

what an honor to have you write your story in my thread mr. Smith

Bruh this bitch sounds like someone who fucked over a relative of mine

But did u actually cheat?

This. Answer the fucking question OP!

no I didn't, not sure if she got paranoid over something stupid or if she just wanted an excuse to kick me out so that her "friend" could move in, the speed with which she got together with the lawyer suggests latter...

She probably was cheating on you then found out the dude was a lawyer then wanted to get a divorce

Was it your plan from the beginning to have the trials in your home country, so you could have full custody, with the children deciding?

trips check'd

This will be from his perspective
>Be user
>Have wife and kid, decent living in the farm area of new York
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
>second kid comes along
>Kid has fucked up birth defect
>wife leaves, unable to handle pressure
>qualify for health care to meet kids disabilities
>get a nice house that accommodates kid
>new bitch, who we will call cumdumpster, enters picture
>She dates him for a few months, then they get married, but things go sour
>some time later
>user goes home one day.
>cumdumpster standing outside on street
>has phone out.
>proceeds to aggravate the living shit out of user
>user hoses her down
>days later, he gets served a charged with assault
>cumdumpster recorded the hosing with her phone
>takes him to court, tries to get him for every dime he has
>Court throws it out, as most of his "money" is in a trust for his disabled kid.
>Cumdumpster gets her lawyer, who she is cucking, to file an injunction on user's mom
>user's mom is county legal clerk, cumdumpster claims that there is corruption.
>In the end she has to go three county's over to a sheriff that knows nothing about the situation to file the injunction
>she's exhausted her attempts
>she's allowed her history of doing this to become known
>apex kek

no, I didn't expect that at all, but once they demanded it, it dawned on me that it would certainly be better from my standpoint to agree since the Othercountry's courts aren't the same kind of circuses as the ones in USA

Nice.

should of stuck to your own women if you don't know how to handle a bitchy american tbh so its your own fault. I feel sorry for the kids not you or the bitch since your both too stupid to figure out it was never going to work.

amerifag detected

Another fine edition of Soap Opera Weekly.

Not even but from another first world country

>not an ameritard
>first world country
Pick one.

Slut got rekt.Deserved that her friend left her.
Gj OP

This makes me chuckle as my mistress was a blond hair woman named Kim.

but I did (know how to handle her); I kept the assets in Othercountry and didn't mention them to her as by the time they landed on me (inheritance from relatives) she had started to become more and more interested in money & the worth of everything I owned, who knows what she'd done had she known about those assets before the divorce, they proved to be a powerful bargaining chip, sure I potentially lost a couple hundred k $ by not fighting for each penny of the stuff we had in USA, but that sum might have very well gone into the legal battle itself and then some, plus this way we managed to keep things relatively civilized during the process, and by using money as a weapon I avoided using the kids as a weapon, which is what she tried to do with her original plan.