What the fuck was his problem?

what the fuck was his problem?

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youtube.com/watch?v=w6OODBoumaI
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randall_Flagg.
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He was horny.

...

i swear this gormless fucker gave the best performance in the whole film

why was the goat black and not white?

They got the smuggest looking goat they could find.

Show me the ass.

Goats are always smug

Dost thou wish to live... deliciously.

diversity quotas.

Will Smith's goat was going to boycott the 2017 Oscars if there wasn't more black goats nominated.

Wouldst thou like the taste of butter and pretty dress?

youtube.com/watch?v=w6OODBoumaI

This fucking scene though.

Is there a better term for fear-boner?

>fear-boner
>fear

i've seen dozens of people rave like autists about how scary this scene and the voice is, what exactly is scary about this? it's just some dude in a literal cowboy outfit with fucking spurs and everything whispering, there isn't shit scary about this scene

That voice is creepy as fuck dude. Try jerking off to that scene normally and tell me again how easy it is.

>some dude
It's Satan, you autist

no shit you fucking retard, that's obvious from the start, but that doesn't make it any scarier at all, the fucking devil rip-off from Legend was scarier than that faggot in a walmart halloween costume

>the jerk off test
The one true measurement of horror.

The director of this is doing a remake of Nosferatu. What the fuck is that going to be like?

This thread is comedic gold.

ebic xD LE GOLD :'p

:D

niggers

Why exactly, of all the earthly forms a pariah of god could choose, a demonic king - the prince of darkness and treachery, it was a fucking cowboy get-up? He literally had boots and a trenchcoat on, and an 1800's era snake oil peddler's mustache, I actually busted a gut laughing at this shit scene when I saw it. JUST fuck my devil up fammo.

Neato

Wasn't scary at all. The diner scene in Mulholland drive was ten times scarier than this piece of shit. And Mulholland drive wasn't even a horror movie

But did you nut?

literally, the GOAT movie of 2016

why would god even allow satan to take a physical form on earth and fuck with his christian disciples anyway? why has god never just smited the shit out of somebody that threatened his believers like satan seems to do all the time? he literally pushed the sea into two halves so a bunch of musty jews could cross it, why can't he set a single goat on fire and save an entire family of devout innocent worshippers unnecessary painful and violent deaths?

What else would you have him take the form of? That red skin, hooves and horns shit is made up. In the bible Lucifer was a handsome angelbro and when he got banished he only lost his wings and shit.

There's literally dozens of forms he could've taken, I mean for god's sake at least pick one that actually exists in that time, in what way does it make since to wear such an anachronistic outfit? How does the devil even know what cowboys look like if they don't exist yet?

No that user but I feel the same way.

How about something period appropriate? A little less fucking corny?

He was fucking stupid. Could have been a satisfying scene but the spurs and outfit and mustache just FUCK.

THIS was scary?

>In the bible Lucifer was a handsome angelbro
Actually that's Paradise Lost, Lucifer isn't in the Bible.

Goats look like they have down syndrome

Well "Satan" isn't really the end all be all of evil. Evil exists outside of Satan. I guess you could say it's a side of God. A side that he didn't really want humanity to see tho. Until Adam and Eve disobeyed him. Satan is just kind of a prick. He exists to fuck with people and turn them away from God. And in a world like this where evil exists, why wouldn't Satan be allowed to do that? We have free will.

Because God finds the devil's shit hilarious.

That's not to say that God is evil tho. Don't get it twisted. God is everything. But to us he is a loving judge who wants whats best for us and he is willing to forgive.

Satan is kind of humanity's dickhead older brother who's always trying to get us in trouble with our dad

Most unsettling scene was the breastfeeding crow fite me

Life.

Scariness isn't the only point. The devil is supposed to take a form that's ambiguously fear-inducing but also somewhat inviting, or even leaning to the inviting side. That's the whole point of the movie: the witch taking the form of a pretty woman while luring Caleb is the same shit. If the devil is some disgusting being, then how does the audience connect with thomasin? Her entire family is dead, and while she is by no means perfect she didn't actually kill any of them until her mother attacked her. But she's alone; she's very alone. If she goes back to the town without anyone else they probably burn her at the stake; otherwise, she starves to death. Accepting the devil is really the only viable option. A unique representation of the devil's reveal would have possibly been more impressive - if executed properly. But don't crap on it because it wasn't scary. Honestly I'd say the epilogue to the film starts right when William lock the kids in the barn. At that point he has gone mad and the family is destroyed. Everything that comes afterward is pretty much inevitable.

My main complaint with the movie is it seems the family were doomed from the beginning. I'm not saying I wish there were a happy ending, but the downfall seeming so inevitable does cheapen it, for me, a little bit. Maybe that was the idea, though: that first display of pride in leaving the town was all it took, people need each other, etc. it's also possible I'm that I'm thinking too deterministically, and they were simply unlucky.

I forgot to mention, that scene after she kills her mother of her sleeping until nighttime is extremely powerful. That's what her life is without the devil. Sleep and starve for a little while until she dies.

>negro philip

scariness is the point when literally nobody can shut the fuck up about how scary the scene is

i don't understand how a creepy pale man in a fashion that won't even exist for another hundred years or so is inviting either

Don't let other viewers or even the film industry obfuscate the better parts of the movie.

i don't care about that, my argument is that people say the scene is scary but it's not, i'm not trying to go into any further details, i'm simply saying there's nothing actually there to cause fear when everybody is saying it's a top tier horror scene

I don't think it's that scary either, but I do think it's very good.

are you dumb ?

To me it isn't scary in a visceral sense, but a moral one. Here we have a girl selling her soul to the devil, who seduces her with riches and a silver tongue. How many of us are susceptible to temptations?
That is what is scary, that despite knowing the evils of the devil, she can so easily be seduced to his side. The triumph of evil over good is a frightening thing. It doesn't have to be blood curdling horror.

It was a good movie. Not perfect, but very good.

black phillip mah nigga

good and evil are way too fluid to consider "being seduced to the evil side" and the moral horrors of god and satan don't exactly scare me because i don't really believe in any of that shit

Then I believe this movie has little to offer you. I think it has been said by the creators that this is like a puritan family's worst nightmare. God and Satan are real in the movie along with all that it entails.
I don't believe in that stuff either but I thoroughly enjoyed the movie nonetheless.

well i think being literally killed off systematically by the prince of darkness himself and his magic cannibal apostates is anybody's worst nightmare

Well, not if you don't believe in him.

>good and evil are way too fluid to consider "being seduced to the evil side"
I disagree. Just because we can't fully describe good or evil doesn't mean we can't determine if something is good, evil, or ambiguous. The goat is clearly evil, man.

>moral horrors of God and Satan don't scare me because I don't believe in any of that shit
Neither do I. Film - and all of storytelling, really - is about immersion. I was immersed. If you weren't immersed that's alright, as long as you theoretically could be immersed in a movie with strong religious overtones. In other words, one can still respect something without being affected by it the same way its creators are subjects are. For instance, my favorite painter is the Flemish hieronymus Bosch of ~1400. All his involved paintings were entirely religious in their subject matter, but I can still appreciate what he felt and the artwork. Dumbed down even more, churches are objectively pretty buildings no matter your religious leanings or lack thereof.

This sentiment makes no sense and is the epitome of today's intelligentsia's overzealousness against religion. You can have a dream that you're in a space ship traveling at the speed of light despite the fact that you don't believe such a ship exists in all of the universe. Similarly, you can have a dream that the embodiment of evil is stealing your soul even if you don't believe the embodiment of evil can be any kind of active thing. People fantasize all the time, and sometimes great stories are borne of it, some of which can tell us just as much about human nature as reality can.

That user said that it is anybody's worst nightmare. I don't think it would be anybody's worst nightmare. People with different cultures and backgrounds will be scared of different things.
Let's say being destroyed by a black hole is someone's greatest nightmare, but it isn't of someone who does not know about black holes or only knows them in passing.
Similarly being destroyed by Satan could very well be a nightmare for many people, many more could imagine it. But it is by no means universal. Nothing is.

omg

Is cowboy satan a reference to a particular story or mythos about the devil? I got the feeling that it was.

Nope

I'll call those digits in

its a metaphor for a pimp or a man seducing a vulnerable young girl with no other options

fat titties on blondie

PICKLE PEE

NEVER TRUST Sup Forums THIS FILM WAS NOT GOOD.

>Goat promises butter, pretty dresses, a delicious life and a change to see the world
>Bitch ends up naked in the woods without getting any of the promised things mentioned above
TRICKED

You said the same shit my girlfriend did.

You must be a female.

Or...

My girlfriend is a man.

This film is a good example of quality and artistic integrity put before "entertainment".

That's one of the biggest reasons I enjoyed it, it stuck to its guns and didn't become a trashy horror film.

It's not perfect, but it's really good to see something like this without a completely shitty Hollywood ending, like what 10 Cloverfield Lane pulled on us all.

You're half right. It was great.

is it really that hard to spot the issue?

would guide my own hand to her bumhole desu phamagachi

>butter
The childrens fat was used to create potions and balms

>pretty dresses
The witch that seduced Caleb had a pretty dress

>A delicious life
Eating children and drinking blood

>see the world
The power of flight

Do you hold other movies with fantastical elements to standards this high? It just seems a little over the top. We all have an understanding of what evil is and know that it can seem be easier option at times. I think that's really all that's necessary to empathize with her.

It seems a common representation of satan (from my very limited experience) but not all that specific. Take Stephen king's Randall Flagg for instance: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randall_Flagg. The page mentions agelessness and cowboy boots and handsomeness. It's really just a more 'classical' representation of satan overall. People of the day would possibly have dreams at times in which their minds could wander and they could convince themselves they saw Satan or god, but it's not like there were miracles back then and aren't anymore. As such, the devil and sin and were associated much more closely than they are today. As more of an artistic being, the devil's place in society is almost gone, but back then it was very relevant. Without him actually being able to appear all over town he needed to be more closely linked with the actions and decisions of people.

I agree. It's a shame it just quickly gets categorized as "horror" as if jump scares and death are all it has to offer. It's got some pretty compelling characters and they undergo some changes.

What's problem? He was chill goat.

Sounds good.

Is it worth watching? How many jump scares are there? Not sure if I can be arsed to invest two hours of my life into this.

Treat it as a drama with some scariness. If you dont want to spend time on that, don't watch it, I guess.

It's more because everyone seems to be making fun of it. I haven't seen many positive threads about the film. But yeah, I'll do that. Thanks for the advice.

it's only for half-and-hour. I don't remember any jumpscares.

God only cares about jews. Haven't you read the bible goyim?

he wanted a qt witchfu