ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

Can be about anything: incest, fetishes, crimes, that one time you accidentally your dad's dick, missile launch codes, anything...

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youtube.com/watch?v=8tXApeDnlAE
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I fucked my missile launch codes once.

We haven't spoken to each other again to this day.

I often tried to date rape my male friends by drinking with them so much that they become unconscious. Problem only was that most time I also was that drunk that I couldn't really control myself anymore. It worked just one time but this guy was also secretly gay.

one time i accidentally my dad's dick

I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot the deputy.

I love porn and watch often and my family has no idea. Also like having jerk buds

Ratted out a guys kid who did a hit and run and his dad helped him hide it.

Both got jail. I feel guilty but I think they would have been caught anyway

I went on Kongregate when I was below 13

I fucked your mom

I really, really like bananaposters but thing frogs and gondolas are retarded.

Spooky

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

I got so fucking drunk and high once that I got mega paranoid about my dick shrinking and what not.

So... I showed my dad my dick, he said it looked fine and even complemented its size....

Wtf, I got so drunk and high I showed my dad my dick...

I have a running list in my head of the people who dies should I ever completely lose my mind. This is why I keep a good support network and anti-psychotics on hand.

I have sex in missionary position solely for the purposes of procreation

I want to become a youtube success, but am afraid of becoming like all of the other narcissistic assholes on that site. So I post my videos on b knowing that the other anons won't let me get too full of myself.

Thanks guys

youtube.com/watch?v=8tXApeDnlAE

...

I have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

I ate cereal without milk. And I ripped the wings off of a still-living fly....

I first had gay sex with my friend when we were 8. We 69d and pissed in each others mouths. we did it more than a few times. When I turned 9 I started jerking off hardcore, I think the ADD meds with the amphetamines jump started by puberty as I ws 6ft2 in 6th grade. I would go to the bathrooms as a kid and find the dirtiest stall I could find and jerk off in it. twice every school day. When I turned 12 I had my cock sucked by a calf at my grandparents farm. Only did that once but it was heavenly. Around the same time I started looking for dirty baby diapers in the trash. I would stick them up to my nose and jerk off. Later on I would actually jerk off with them. the pink dirty ones are my favorite but haven't looked for them for some time.I had a friend dom me and he forced me to suck of and rim his rottie and now I have a deep love for that dog. My fantasy is to have the dog be my master. When I got my own apartment I would occasionally jerk off using my own shit as lube. That about sums up my secrets

>newfag

I was dog sitting for my friend (girl) and one time at night when I was at their house to feed their dog and put him up for the night, I went into her room and jerked off with a pair of her panties

I am having an affair with an engaged girl I am 21. She is 25 and a law student.

I am an alcoholic

I am extremely depressed and feel like blowing my brains out daily.

Despite this I am going into medicine

I hate myself

My father is a wealthy and corrupt piece of shit

I have everything I want and have no need to fear for myself financially. Despite this I do not feel fulfilled, I want to leave everything behind and find a cause to fight for, or something to give my life meaning.

I just wish I were never born.

Call me a faggot, don't care

That I'm a virgin. I wonder how common my secret is...

You see, this is what's wrong with today's world.

If you think about it--in the realm of worldly advice, manly advice, and the male who should have not only more experience than yourself, but also your best interests always in mind--who else should you show your penor to but your dad, if you want an honest answer?

Proof?

faggot

Cool man whatever

Sir, what the FUCK is that?

Only joking man, enjoy banging her and i hope you find what you're looking for in life

how many kids do you have? or do you fail at that like you fail at everything else you do in life?

I'm a rapist, I have a serious rape fetish and I've raped my girlfriend many times before. She didn't want the sex. She didn't consent. I've forcefully taken her many times

I like the feeling of my friends cock rubbing against mine when we DP his girlfriend.

Thanks. Surprisingly that means a lot more to me than I expected. I will have a drink for you.

...

Get any reward?

I kissed my grandma on the cheeks

I'm 26y and I'm cheating on my gf with her mom and a 17y

I worked on a supermarket a couple of years ago, there was a cute petite brunette with great tits, she was the gf of my asshole supervisor and I decided to use her to get revenge on his assholish behaviour

So I fucked her, she was fucking wild at sex and always complained about the lack of sex drive her bf had. He worked a lot, we fucked a lot on our free days.

Long story short, she got pregnant, my stupid supervisor married her and I have a 3 years old daughter I will never recognize. And my stupid former supervisor thinks the girl is his

I don't like to hug my female friends or have any kind of physical contact or even just see them in revealing clothes because I'm afraid of being unable to hold myself back and actually raping one of them. So I just act like I'm a awkward, shy betafag.

My two previous ex gfs accuse me of being crazy. Still furiously Jerk off to them

My 20 year old gf is a slutty size queen and secretly has a loose, stretched out cunt from all the guys she's fucked

I've raped my male cousin on numerous occasions in the past.

I once shot a firework though the bedroom window of some kid I didn't like from school, it exploded and set his room on fire, he got 3rd degree burns over 40% of his body.

Damn son ,youre a cold motherfucker

You're fucked up man, i think you should really seek help. Do you have a girlfriend? And is so does she know about this?

kalright

I feel like this is pretty common in here but here goes anyways.
I'm dead inside, forgot what happiness feels like, haven't cried in years, not because I don't want to but because I can't.
There's nothing that excites me, I though maybe sex will do the trick ... nope, I mean its ok but it's worth all the attention it gets.
>hur dur you is doing it wrong m8
Fuck off.
Suicide is often what I think about.
But again, I know this is common here.

Green text, faggot.

I go to Sup Forums

My first sexual experience was with my mom. Since the age of 14 to 18 she had been letting me have sex with her and helping me explore my sexual side.

Did I black out and post this? It describes me, but I don't remember posting it.

Picked up a duck family (prob 10 baby ducks and its mom) and smashed every chick on a rock while the mom tried attacking me.

I have a fiance and he does know. But basically all I do now is jerk off to bestiallity porn.

I hope you die a painful death you fucking piece of shit

HE? You're a faggot? Cool me too

Why man? Not hating but why?

I am a faggot! He recently moved in with me too. Im super fucking happy now.

You also post stale memes

man... my stomach hurts now...

Was it fun, was she tight?

Go on . . .

can you share a pic of her?

Congratulations man, i just got a partner

similar
>went to visit my in-laws and exclusively masturbated and blew my load on my sis in laws clean underwear and put them back hehe

Kek I did the same to a bunch of baby birds

Pretty common here.

nice. we'd been dating for almost 3 years. He moved from cali to be with me

Awesome, how old are you guys and are your parents okay with it?

If he's in there with you without you or her holding a gun to his head, then so does he.

As do i

Well, at least you're paying for it with a shitty life.

I just love sex dude

Faggots unite! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We've lived together for the past year. Both 24. Life is good. :)

It's actually pretty good.

he's 22 and Im 23. My parents don't mind. My grandparents own my apartment so I told them yesterday about him. it went 100 times better than expected

There's this girl I met and I love her but she's in Sweden

even though my libbido has calmed down a lot, i still wanna get fucked by a dog

What a coincidence, i'm also 23 and my boyfriends i just met(what i mentioned as my partner) is 22

Good going man

No, you've convinced yourself of that, but most people would hate being you.

It was me that stole the watch.

As long as you keep it to yourself and you don't hurt the dogs im fine with it, what does your fiance think about it btw?

>I went up a roller-coaster once and never came down.

>lemme tell you how your life is, fam

lol

looks like you need to find yourself. i had the same issues a few years ago and i guarantee you that this is a kind of personality disorder.
i had a lot of problems trying to find out something to do (hobbies and shit) but i always ended giving up meanwhile because of boredom or lack of excitement.
seriously, try to go out, talk to new people and try to engage in a relationship with someone who make you feel like you're in heaven.
i found a girl and now we're married. she changed my life and made me see the world in its true colors again.

don't give up bro, you'll be fine

He thinks it's pretty hot. He'd be up to help me with it

I never respond to those posts advising me that my mother will die if I do t post a reply.

Sometimes I wonder if women really are inferior and it makes me depressed as shit.

Nope it's another person

Damn, then you fit together nicely. Happy For you user but olease be safe with the dog

Interesting relationship :P

So you dont care about your mother? what an ass

So are you the bottom, then?

photos or its lies

We have a pup. Not really doing anything with him though.

I hated the puppy i got i wanted him to die so i gave him away now i regret it

It took me a month to learn our girl's name when she was born. Going to wait until she's a teen pitching a fit to tell her to shut her the fuck up.

were both switches

> Let me tell you how my life is and then accuse you of telling me how my life is.

I don't know man, I'm in this perpetual state of boredom, maybe thats what I need, meeting new people most of my friends have drug issues. Thanks for the advice bro.

I love hearing my wife tell me about her past sexual exploits, partly because i was a virgin until i met her, so i guess there's a little bit of vicarious living going on there.
I want to either take turns fucking her with another guy or have an mfm threesome with her. I dont, however, like the cuck shit with the humiliation aspect or want her to have side guys that she fucks without me being there. I just want to watch her cum on another dick and double team her