Greentext stories thread, I will start

Greentext stories thread, I will start.

> be me
> 18
> go to McDonald's drive thru with gf
> order 34 hamburgers
> gf looked like she just saw Roberto McDonald
> brag about my stomach and that I can do much more than 34
> what was your maximum amount user?
> 69
> she slaps me
> said she didn't want any of that because she is Muslim
> tfw I was not kidding
> mfw I said:
> we didn't want the twin towers destroyed either so what is your problem
> ohshit.jpg
> she remains silent
> she knows what she did
> she did 9/11
> look at her
> "look it's not your fault gf"
> "no it is user"
> what the fuck
> tfw she blames herself for 9/11

Have more stupid stories with her, will tell on request

Kek, more pls

Keep the thread alive will post in a sec

Now interested, go on OP

...

Alright next story
> same age
> same gf
> love cruising with the car, mostly to lakes
> go to random lake with gf
> lie down in the grass, looking at the clouds
> she tries to be really romantic and tells me the cloud right above us looks like a heart
> mfw it looks like a dick
> fucking Sup Forums and their traps
> start fantasizing about ducks
> no homo
> ask gf: I'd prefer you having a dick
> saywhat.png
> "what the fuck user?"
> "I mean, we'd have at least one thing in common"
> shots fried
> gf got mad af and turned her back to me
> "well I guess we do have one thing in common"
> she murmurs: "what?"
> we both say we did not do 9/11
> she walks away
> worth

Here, you people look like you could use a massive dose of WTF, depression, and an awkward boner you wish would go away.

The fuck did I just read...

> be me
> be 12:18 and reading this
> OP is a lying fag
> OP is a lonely neckbeard.

kek2

moar/10

> irony

...

Sup Forumsump

I love all of you user

Go on, tell me moar kind sir

>be me
>chillin
>midnight or so
>dicking around on my
>out of nowhere a fly lands on my monitor
>swat it away and it flies back
>idea.midi
>grab an empty plastic water bottle off desk
>trap fly in bottle
>put cap on
>now the fly is trapped
>look at it buzz around
>what now
>look on desk
>get another idea
>quickly open cap and pour hand sanitizer in bottle
>fly is mildly annoyed
>no mercy
>pour white out into the bottle
>fly starts to die
>see it fall into the puddle of hand sanitizer and white out
>watch it twitch and suffer
>finally dies
>feelsbadman
>realize how fucked up that was
>literally just gassed him
>begin to question the futility of life
>get depressed
>mfw

Bump

This could be an epic bread.

Moar, OP.

This is fucked up, want to talk about it user ?

Have a bump

Bumpers

>be me
>20
>also go to McDonald's drive thru
>order a McDouble and a McChicken
>pulluptothewindow.jpeg
>gril at the window
>"are you making a McGangbang?"
>"No sorry, I have a girlfriend"
>pic related

I don't really know what there is to say about it other than that it was pretty fucked up.

> be me
> one year later
> 19
> had broken up with her but she came back
> muslims.mp4
> gonna meet up with her for the first time in 3 months
> I'm gonna fuck this up
> create a cd with various announcements of Muslim attacks, trying to make it as if a song was playing but got interrupted by the announcement
> do it every song, different announcement
> 12 songs
> dis gun b gud
> get in car, drive to her place to pick her up
> put cd in before she got out of her house
> car has flippable screen, so I flip the screen in so it won't be obvious it's a cd playing
> she gets in, start driving
> first announcement passes
> forty keys
> try to hold in laughter
> she is completely shocked
> act worried
> thisisnotevenmyfinalform.wav
> by the time song 6 passes she already bursted out in tears, crying as if she just saw Ronaldo McDonaldo, the father of Harram
> she says she wants to go home
> not allowing that
> she calls her parents to tell them about the attacks
> why would you even do that
> try to calm her
> get repetitive
> it's not your fault, gf
> she starts screaming
> no it is my fault, if I wasn't here I would not have known about these attacks, I would have not been crying here, I would have not been worrying about the Muslims causing the attacks
> the Muslims causing the attacks
> wtf
> are you taking the blame, gf?
> yes, yes I do
> tfw she takes the blame for all the attacks muslims have caused
> ever

You hate her don't you ?

>be me
>5 years ago
>16
>feel like making popcorn
>take bag of popcorn and put it in a bowl
Microwave for 2 minutes
>start walking toward fridge for hot sauce
>stub toe and begin to shout NIGGER FRIDGE
>brother heres this and goes outside
>in my fit of rage i started to do the wave /robot still shouting nigger fridge
>micro beeps and i angrily take out the bowl and drop it because of heat
>start punching the popcorn bag for not warning me of hot bowl
> i walk out and leave the murder scene
Never had popcorn again

I really like her naiveness but my primary goal with her is to completely fuck her up so that she becomes the opposite of what she was. Really made nice progress till today (yeah she and I are still on)

You animal !!!

To be fair my fridge is black

I damand some pics

op you're a fucking idiot, shit tier stories too.

Her current whatsapp pic, she looks dumb yeah I know

Didn't see you do better bro

I make mcgangbangs all the time

OP please more

Bump

Op, you are gay, she's beautful

Older pic

Just telling the kind-of-funny stories bro, we do love each other and yeah, I know, she is.

kek
Was not expecting that end