Wanted to take a good shit to celebrate our victory

>wanted to take a good shit to celebrate our victory
>accidentally drops the toilet paper into the toilets

why

>that flag
>not using a bidet

crétin

le fou absolu

Nobody uses a bidet anymore. This is the dumbest meme ever invented.

I use bidéts all the time, though ours are a separate "manually" operated showerhead. There's nothing better than a clean asshole.

nice taqiyya m8

Last time I used a bidet wet shit kept dripping from my ass. Explain this shit Frenchies

your butt's too fat so you didn't get it all

Even weirder than my hairy ass which catches my shit between my buttocks all day long.

Shake ur ass after using it, and then fold a couple of sheets loosely and pat your asshole with it and any remaining water will be absorbed into it.

You need to first use paper, then a bidet and then paper again for a truly clean experience imho.

Stop eating so many burgers and you won't get diarrhea so often.

Easily explained; you're full of shit

French need to clean their ass for gay buttsex

Seems awesome to cure my issues: I didn’t even know about the existence of such a thing. I used to envy japanese toilets.

Why would you use toilet paper? I just clean my ass with my hand and eat the shit.

Sorry we don't really like scat like you guys.

How do you use the three seashells?

Sounds tasty. Do your shit actually feed yourself so you can defecate it again?

I'm not German m80

We know you don't, you unwashed barbarians.

do you even know what a bidet is ?

you dont shit in a biet you idiot

En anglais ça veut dire autre chose, je crois qu’ils ont un truc pour se rincer le zgeg et le cul qui s’appelle «bidet»

yep, you're right, I don't understand, if I had shit in
my hand, arm or any other part, I wouldn't just wipe it with a paper, I'd clean myself, why it should be different for my asshole ?

I use a bidet, what kind of animal are you for enjoying shit on your ass ?

We just take a shower afterwards. Hygiene doesn't only apply to the butthole you know.

ben... tu te laves quoi avec un bidet toi ?

The kind who doesn't have explosive diarrhea and can just wipe everything with paper?

Les mains, mais c’est pas la même chose je te dis

lel

>place toilet paper roll next to the toilet on the windowsill
>window lets water through when it rains
>wet toilet paper
just end my life

Oh so heritage only counts when you want it to count, huh?

c'est un lavabo ça, garçon, un bidet c'est pour se laver le derch' ou alors tu dois être très petit

mine was wet with pure piss on the toilets, I had to take it with my hands. sounds good, isn’t it?

End my life first.

you guys are dumb

you sit on the sink and use the faucet and your hand to truly clean your ass with water pressure

bidets just wash watery shit down onto your ballsack, and toilet paper is disgusting

use the sinksitting method then dry your ass with a towel. ultimate clean

Bidets are amazing, do you not like being shit free?

When I but a house my first investment will be a Those high tech Japanese Toto toilet with a bidet

bidets are fucking nasty, if you willingly aim water to your asshole so you can have wet poop everywhere then something is wrong with you

sounds good, but I need a towel dedicated for my ass then.

>France
>toilet paper

yep, thank you for understanding, I don't even understand people who make fun of washing your ass

I know what you mean. It's very frustrating to have shitskins on your ass.

what do you do when you have shit on your hand, you just wipe it ?

french use toilet paper? i thought you guys use the bidet?

who /squatwiper/ here

>shit threads back on Sup Forums

Is Sup Forums culture, dare I say it, back?

wash your hand in the kitchen sink

nah, mostly paper

me

>french
>never knew france had bidets and are famous worldwide for them

You are a huge NEET who never leaves the house right?

sort of. how the fuck are we famous for… this? well

I use both, toilet paper for the damage control, then bidet, and it seems to me like common sense, who would not clean a body part which have shit

I have an alternative strategy: wet toilet paper

Does it means that nobody wash their asshole after shitting ????

bidet are rare now, i used to have one in the old parental appartment butta never used it, instead i washed my feet to pray halla

i wet some toilet paper a little in the center and wipe once more after the initial poo removal and then do another dry run to get the leftover moisture off

And you flush all this toilet paper down in one flush? Because if you use multiple flushes, you're spending too much on water bills.

Why do Arabs always wash themselves but are still always smelly?

what the fuck

you and me operate on the same wavelength

its the food

As do I brother. Come, let us sit and discuss at length the various techniques and methods of our ancient toilette paper moistening secret.

>french bidets

It's called turkish toilets actually. The french stole our bidets after napoleon's invasion into Egypt :^)

turkish toilets are just holes you shit in it, not really an invention...

Hi

it is an invention when you take into account that french shat in buckets and threw out their shit out the windows before the revolution :^)

hence the "smelly french" historical meme

> he cleans up mud with a dry towel.

not even necessary pierre, if you sinksit correctly and wash for a good 30-45 seconds then your ass will be clean enough to use any towel and get away with it

i've sinksat at hotels, other people's houses, everywhere. some sinks are just badly designed and make it hard to sinksit tho

And the natural odor.

>then your ass will be clean enough to use any towel and get away with it
nah m8, it may be clean but not enough, there are still bacteria and shit

Only in the overpopulated cities.

technically your butthole region should be the cleanest zone if you wash it all the time, cause it has no exposure to the outside world like the rest of your body. your hands and face and stuff are probably filthy

just use brown towels around the house

baby wipes la

sup