Hello Sup Forums, I have a job interview tomorrow. What can you suggest so I dont drop all of my spaghetti?

Hello Sup Forums, I have a job interview tomorrow. What can you suggest so I dont drop all of my spaghetti?

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Do you really want advice or are you just fucking around?

I really want advice. I cant sleep and I feel a weird feeling in my gut telling me i'll get all the acne in about 2-3 days.

first, my questions for you:
1. What time of day is the interview:
2. What type of job (just category, don't feed the trolls of /b) is it?
3. What kind of company is it?
4. Where, generally is it?

What are you worried about?
-- the way to dress?
-- The kind of conversation?
-- Your back ground?

Answer these questions. they are NOT rhetorical. After you reply, I'll have specific info for you.
Pic unrel it's Irma from Realifecam

I guess ill hear "We'll notify you in about a week" for the hundreth time, and then not get notified. Feelsbad

While OP is answering my questions, here's more of Irma

youtube.com/watch?v=2W0WsdLobq8

If OP fags out, I know Reagan's telephone number
> and he knows how to call the webhead, so DONT FUCK WITH ME

1. Its at 8.45 in the morning
2. Software engineering
3. One of the biggest companies in the town, electrical providers for the whole town
4. Its in the town that I live in, about 10 mins of walking

Well, dressing doesn't bother me since I can dress well enough. I would say the "back ground" and the conversation thing is the thing that scares me. I mean I have no idea on specifics what they actually need, they only said how schooled you'd have to be to enter the intervew. And I got the letter to go to the interview properly by actual mail, so that scares me a little. I just feel like im not qualified to breathe.

Ok, here we go:
1. Great, you'll be #1 on the runway. Either they'll be floored by you or completely forget you. Make a HUGE impression.
2. Your languages and projects will be discussed. If it's a fortune 500 company, they might have a brief quiz regarding the commands of that language, just to verify you know what you say you do. ACE IT.

continued....

Software engineer here.
Are you experienced?

This sounds like an interview and my sphincter is already clenched. I just finished school so the answer would be "kinda, but not really".

3. Take the chance to look up the last report to the stock holders of this company. Most of that shit is very DRY to read, ignore it and listen to the tone of the report. Did they lose money? Does life suck for them or is it great? Follow that lead and mention it in the interview. SAY you read the last stockholders report.

4. Don't walk there unless there's no free parking. Get there early. Bring a leather lined folder with 2 pens and legal pad. Bring your social security card.

What else do you need to know?

WRONG attitude, you already have PLENTY of time in with that language, you have projects from class, right? put the program listings on a smart stick and make SURE you hand it to the IT person, NOT the HR PERSON-that dipshit will lose it on purpose.

I think I manly lack confidence. But I will do everything you have said. Also, Irma makes it easier

Remember, they're looking for the PRO from DOVER (it's a saying us oldfags use, nevermind)

--- Walk in there and act like you OWN the PLACE. 'Maybe I'll take the job, it depends...

I'm not kidding, put your mask on, because it's a GUN FIGHT

But no actual guns, to just be sure

Ever see those rich kids from those rich schools? That's exactly what the IDIOTS from HR are looking for.
--- You have several interviews (even if you don't), say you need to get a FIRM yes or no by 'close of business on Friday'
-- Ask if you'll meet your project leader and WHERE you'll work. Just asking the questions is important to those DORKS for some reason

That's enough. There are some people who go into the interview and have never even touched a programming language. But if you have already your own little projects its not a problem.

If someone told me "stay confident" it wouldn't change a fucking thing on how I would feel there.
But if it helps:
>stay confident

Also choose a time to turn on airplane mode and go to sleep.

that quote was from Independence day, sailed right over your head. It meant 'put on your game face', or Get serious about acing this lame interview.

Remember, YOU'RE the COOL KID. THEY are the ones who are lucky just to meet with you. Pull off that attitude and you'll destroy the interview. Remember, don't be a Dick, just be Masterful

I have a baby face and I am a manlet.

Don't fap until after the interview. Take cold showers every time you want to pull your pudd.

If you have an interview they already know you are capable of doing the job. An interview is a chance to get to know you.

oh, look up what the starting salaries for your job are. If they are blown away and offer you the job on the spot (unlikely but possible) be ready with a firm number.
Remember, you have EXPENSES and have to Pay back those huge loans (even if you don't).

Huge loans? We pay euros here

Also watch the Shia LaBeouf motivation video.

That's Irrelevant. You have expenses that MUST be paid back for your years of education. They'll expect you to say something like that

This calmed me. Thank you.

As hilarious as that sounds, it might actually help. You have to be an Animal, completely confident in yourself and skills.

Do you have any friends who owe you a favor?
Make them meet you at a restaurant, where they pretend to be the Human resources person.
Prove to them that you deserve the job, and you will hear the sound of your voice. In turn, that will convince yourself. THEN you will win.

Oh yeah, don't look like this douchebag.
Appearance:
--shave, not too much cologne
- Wear a tie, and button the top shirt button
- Wear socks, you aren't too cool for that
-- Remember: They don't know you, so be Conservative as a fallback. If you're radical with TATS or some huge earlobe hole, they might laugh and walk away.

>an interview is a place for them to get to know me
>act confident
Forever double faced

And no, im was never one of those cool kids that did piercings, or tats, or smoking. Im blonde with blue eyes.

That's all from me. Before I go, I'm dumping this girl in my Vola room
>volafile.io
>/r/5WiYGn

Now you're learning, it is a place to SELL yourself, not to be honest in a therapy session.
For all you know there are a dozen other motherfuckers out for that job. Be the one who gets it.

Good luck, OP, I'm out. Adios