ITT: stupid shit that only happens in movies

>Woman goes to bar
>Ends up in bed with a complete stranger

Other urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/i/s1hN32XnSCuq
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>people under 25 having sex

Dude...

>men other than Chad having sex

>character leaves his house
>character's house is clean
>buys groceries and cooks
>doesn't drink all the time he's not working

My name is actually Chad.

>Women don't cringe when a man talks to them

>character finished his studies and got a career instead of being anxiety ridden and posting waifus all day

My sister does that all the time.

My mom says hi.

Nice fantasy movie.

>Have wake up sex with my gf
>Hop on Sup Forums while she's in the shower
>This is the first thread I see

I love how no matter what happens in my life you losers stay the same.

get out normie

Haha, no.

>people have sex
>people enjoy life
>people do anything in their free time besides lift, jack off, and indulge in escapism
>character doesn't have thoughts of suicide
>character thinks life has meaning and/or purpose

Seriously, who comes up with this shit? It's not realistic at all.

That happens though.

I'll start : guy of Mafia dude money, only owes him for a few weeks. Guy breaks his legs. Loan Sharks and mob members tend to not physically harm people who owe then money so they can go to work and pay it off, even if its slowly

Get off my board you fucking normie.

Actually fucking laughed out loud, r9k btfo

Haha, still no.

this happens many times IRL.
Men will always love to try to satisfy women, more so in bed.

>guy without much money gets the girl because of character trait ___

and women will never ever refuse an orgasms if they think that the beta will be able to provide one.

That's a really mean thing to say. I bet you didn't even think about our feelings, did you?

>Characters having sex
>The guy not trying to put it in her butthole

>character wipes his ass
>there is no blood on the toilet paper

>Stupid frogposters posting anything of worth

Literally never happens in any reality.

Samefag
Don't you have some college work to be doing summer chad?

Wrong. Stay triggered though.

I don't care about your feelings. I don't even register you as people.

GET OUT, GET OUT, YOU YOU

'no'

>young, attractive, successful woman is single because she's so quirky and clumsy lol

>not going on hikes and enjoying nature

Top pleb

>character drives
>character lives on his own
>character can swim
lmao wtf?

>socially awkward guy
>is smart
>doesn't spend his free time jerking off to cartoons

>wake up and reluctantly have sex with my disgusting 2/10 """"gf"""""
>feel awful need to make myself feel better quickly
>resort to bragging to a bunch of neckbears on Sup Forums

kys lmao

...

>Le Leafy KYS comment
>Le projecting angry as fuck comment

How does it feel to be thirteen years old and already know you're going to die alone and unloved?

>actually believing that bait
Toppest kek

i want Sup Forums and /r9k/ to leave

>When your "gf"s weight starts with 200

C'mon, how do some guys get ALL the luck

This. You have a containment board for a reason you forever alones and twelve year olds.

DELETETHISREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>character gets up, brushes teeth, shaves, showers, eats breakfast, dresses himself and is ready to go out
>doesn't have an anxious meltdown and sit home alone all day, setting back his prospects yet again
who hires this hacks

vocaroo.com/i/s1hN32XnSCuq

Delete this.

Hey what's up? You got skype? My gf and I are looking for a third.

It happens. I knew a girl in college who was always single because she was too good natured and shy. We all thought she was a virgin

>character wakes up
>doesnt spend 20 mins coughing up phlegm
>doesnt spit up half gallon of blood when brushing teeth

How is this realistic

Sounds like Sparrow

>le projecting
>le I am rubber and you are glue

don't even know what leafy is try again cuck

>Character is single, in NY, working regular job, lives in a pic related apartment

Just become a woman instead of complaining about it.

>still talks about their life being shit or missing something

Fucking hell, if I could only have a fraction of that life

There he goes again. Being a faggot and being salty. Telling his lies when everyone knows he's really crying.

>character presses 2 (two) buttons on his wristwratch
>a countdown of exactly 45 seconds starts

i mean, really???

Just like me.

Dr now go see Dr pavel

>Man goes to bar
>Ends up in bed with a complete stranger woman

How does that ever happen in real life?

I cough up a bit of phlem in the morning not every day but it happens, what causes that?

I would be perfectly happy having only this room with a small kitchen and bathroom. fucking trust fund babies

You could literally bang so many women if you had that apartment, all you would need were okay social skills and some confidence

...

>guy drinks first bud light
>3 buds later he's drunk as shit (evidenced of course by the barman's seeming inability to collect the empty bottles around him)

>character takes a shit
>toilet water doesnt become deep red, chunky and thick

It happens.
Last time I went to a bar I woke up with a complete stranger woman next to me. Didnt get drunk or anything and clearly remembered coming home alone.. Turns out she was a crazy lady from down the street who broke into my apartment at some point during the night and just went to bed next to me.

>be vacationing with friend and his family as a teenager
>drug dealer has tenet
>buy ecstasy and pot
>first ever roll and two hot milf say they would have sex with me (they were on bars)
>turn it down

Still kicking myself when I think about it

>character is married
>doesn't thank his lucky stars every day that he has someone who loves him to share his life with and will not die alone

fucking faggot

>Character isn't constantly battling madness
>Character doesn't fear sleep because dreams are horrifying
>Character doesn't live under a freeway overpass in a tent made out of tarps
>Character doesn't give himself sponge baths in the bathroom of the public library
>Character isn't addicted to painkillers
>Character doesn't get kicked out of grocery stores because he reeks if raccoon urine
Hollywood is so out of touch.

>forgot to prep the bull and pick up my wifes son from diversity camp
>two weeks in the cuck shed

Wait what thread is this again?

This. This is our board now, weirdos. normalfaggots for the win

>Sup Forums noticeably gets more normal over the years as post rate quintuples
>"back to your containment board losers!"
r9k is full of normalfags and women anyway

Who /normie/ here?

>guy lets woman walk all over him and immediately capitulates to her every whim
>They have a functional relationship

I am still kind of baffled when I think most people never have a suicidal thought in their life.

Isnt that weird?

>it's an i'm anxiety ridden and still finished my studies and got a career because i don't let my anxiety boss me around and it turns out this actually helps the anxiety episode

What if I was a balding manlet with psoriasis on my face and scalp?

>when all you eanted to do was die for Israel but you're stuck learning how to do college level math

>character is a successful white male
>makes a lot of money, like alot of money
>scene depicts him in the bathroom
>he doesnt sit on the toilet to pee
>he doesnt reach around behind and wipe his weewee with some tissue

>alarm clock goes off at 6am
>he turns it off in less than 5 seconds, not hitting snooze at all, not even once
>proceeds to bathe and eat a healthy meal before heading off to his full-time salaried day job with benefits and guaranteed quarterly bonuses


OK whatever. I wasn't expecting total realism... but a FULL-TIME job? During the DAY? Come the fuck on, really?

And I didn't see him snort a single line of coke, or any empty liquor bottles on his couch.

I cannot fucking stand this bullshit! One should FIRST eat the fucking breakfast, ONLY AFTER should shave fucking teeth.

>it's a normie thinks he has an anxiety disorder but the fact that he is able to function in any way at all outside of his residence says otherwise episode

new york is fucking trash

Pic?

that's sounds cozy
>was she hot?

wasn't always like that, used to be i couldn't do anything without having panic attacks.

>Movie couple wakes up
>passionately kiss
>tfw no morning breath

>protag has sex with a woman
>she has an orgasm

>female character hasn't showered or washed in 36 hours
>hair is perfect
>make up is perfect

fucking stacy bitch we know you're wet for chad
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>I get to have sex
>...with my own girlfriend
Wow good for you, faggot.

> this fucking chart

Would you faggots seriously rather be women?

>she leaves to go to "work"

Heh more like she's getting worked. Imma right?

I write this to you.
Man. Look at yourself.
Stop denying the good things you deserve. I know you wanna do that thing of yours, but you keep escaping. Why? Just so you can feel like shit when you are old and full of regret.

You feel like shit because you think you escape, but you dont. You deny the success from yourself. What is the worst thing that can happen from trying?

>characters don't share a cigarette after sex
My suspense of disbelief can only go so far